evalynn

Took a shower, shaved my legs. Now I feel nice and clean and smooth.

I have so many gift cards with small balances still on them. I just looked them all up online. $3 here, $4 dollars there... I wrote down all the balances on a tiny piece of paper and stuck them in my wallet. Somehow I will use them all up. Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to an outlet mall with my sister and brother-in-law. Only problem is that I have to get up at a reasonable hour to get ready and over there. Not easy when my sleep schedule has totally been messed up again, with me up most of the night now. Oh, and the second possible problem is the rain issue and how I hate/mortally fear driving in it, which I will have to do to meet them at their place. So cross your fingers that it will not rain heavy when I'm on the road tomorrow! See how I can turn anything negative?

Having a purse with 5,000 pockets and being disorganized. This always causes me anxiety when I think I've lost something. I just freaked out because I thought I had lost one of my gift cards, but I eventually found it in one of the smaller pockets of my purse. I had already looked like five times, but of course I missed it. Now it is safely in my wallet.

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I deal with anger issues too, and I'm not quite sure when they became the problem they are now. I used to get angry occasionally, but now it seems like all the time. I easily get annoyed, frustrated, indignant, insulted. Sometimes it takes a while to calm down. Sometimes I just obsess over the same issues over and over because I can't get over them. It certainly makes relationships hard. It's funny, I was just thinking about how my depression used to manifest with sad and hopeless feelings and now it's become more about anger and annoyance. Maybe it has to do with losing hope. Or maybe people just naturally get more bitter as they get older? I don't know.

I'm getting frustrated. The scale just will not move! I feel like I've been putting effort into watching what I eat and avoiding the really bad things and yet I haven't dropped a single pound. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Thinking

Stepping into dog vomit that's been left on our living room rug. Sometimes I wish dogs could talk.

@jeremiah To do the quote thing, I just start with @ and a menu pops up within a few seconds with every members name. As I type in the name I want, it shows up at the top of the menu and I click on it.

@jeremiah I have a sugar addiction too. Especially with Dr. Pepper and chocolate. Especially when I have PMS. I crave sugar at least once a day, too. It's really hard to fight, and the only consolation I have is that I hear the cravings start to go away the less you give into them. I hope so anyway.

Walked the dog

I'm seriously tearing up because my dad just informed me that my favorite restaurant in my hometown, the one I used to go to all the time with my mom for the best lobster rolls and clam chowder and views of the beach, unexpectedly closed down. It's just a restaurant, but it was the number one thing on my list for my trip next month and I feel like someone just stabbed me in the childhood.

@jeremiah Don't give up! We all have set backs every now and again. We're only human. You can start over at any moment, no matter how much you cheat. Maybe you can incorporate a set cheat day into your plan?

I grabbed a Sprite Zero over a Dr. Pepper at the store the other day. Also I didn't buy any lemonade or sweet tea. Also I had a salad at Panera but I did get my free fudge brownie. Baby steps.