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Prudence Jane

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Everything posted by Prudence Jane

  1. Yes, there will be a mental health specialist in the group, two in fact! Already met them, it was really great :)
  2. Hi everyone, even if I am currently in the best moments of my life, I decided to start a group therapy for bipolar disorder. I want to learn how to slow down (I tend to work a lot, get involved in many projects and not allow myself to have moments of rest), to eat better and to manage my money better as well. Also meditate, learn to not have racing thoughts all the time too.
  3. It wasn't just one argument. It's a whole crisis that lasted for a year. I don't base myself on Facebook to claim if my friends are truly my friends or not.
  4. I don't mind having no response at all. I'm more afraid of the type of answer she'll give to me, if she replies. I am strong. I can handle it, I've handled a lot of difficult things before :) I am somewhat nervous but it's not intense, I will manage my emotions no matter what the outcome is, I am perfectly capable of that.
  5. I know that people sometimes walk out of our lives and that it's not necessarily bad. It's happened to me before and I survived ;) I just want to make things clear with her because we had a meaningful linked and have deeply influenced each other. I don't necessarily wish to become close with her again and the last thing I want to do is talk about my illness with her, I don't feel comfortable discussing these things anymore with her. PS : I'm not into therapy right now because I am doing amazing since two years and a half now. I only see my psychiatrist every 6 months and that is good for me. If I need to talk, vent, I come here or I call a local community organization specialized in anxiety and mood disorders where I live, there is always someone availible just to listen. That's all I need for now. My life is amazing for the moment.
  6. I will send (or not) my letter this Friday, since it's the evening of the reunion. I'm so nervous. I don't know if I'll have the courage to do it. I need to take this opportunity (the reunion) to do it. I'm scared.
  7. I can't because she blocked me on facebook three years ago and never unblocked me. I have her email address on which I think about sending my letter but i know it'd be extremely weird if I just came out and said ''hello'' to her.
  8. Wow, you are lucky. The thing is that I'm scared. I'm scared of what she might say. I know that she will remain polite for sure, knowing her. But I'm still scared about what she might tell her two best friends about this. I feel like I'd be repeating myself, to be saying a speech that she has already heard too often so that she'd give no credibility to it. I feel like she doesn't need me anymore and that I might humiliate myself by sending a letter that will probably make her indifferent. I also don't want to talk about my disorder because I don't feel comfortable discussing this with her. I sincerely do not know what to do. This is driving me insane.
  9. I'm so happy to see that I wasn't the only one with this symtomn. (I was depressed almost four years ago.)
  10. Yes, they do, but rarely. But I do not suffer from this because they do not need to tell me that they love me for me to know it. It shows through their everyday actions and their constant presence towards me. So I feel it everyday.
  11. Let's say you had a friend you were really close to in high school. You got depressed for many months and it ****ed the friendship up. That friend tried to keep in touch and help you as much as she could, despite being angry at you for not being nice and easy to deal with. That friend sincerely cared and despite you isolating yourself and sinking down more and more, the link remained strong. You guys were really really close and were meant for a life-lasting friendship. However, that didn't work. It was too hard. So you and your friend completely lost touch with each other while you were talking to each other almost daily for many years, before all of that happened. Let's say you haven't spoken to that friend in three years. Time went by, both of you are young adults now. You have moved on, you know that friend moved on as well. You know there is no hard feelings between her and you. But both of you are living their respective lives seperately from one another. The link is now completely broken and unexistant, at least, to your eyes. Let's say two people from high school, who were in that same class, decide to organize a high school reunion evening. You're not planning on going because you don't feel the need to keep in touch with everyone from high school..but you're thinking about your ex-friend. She's going to that evening. You wonder if you should send her a short letter of apology. Even if you know she has moved on and that things will probably never be the same. Even if you know that she is happy, surrounded with a loving family and amazing friends and that she is 100% fufilled and satisfied with her life. Even if you know that she probably doesn't need you anymore. Should you send that letter to her? Or is it pointless?
  12. I'm type 1 and regulary drink coffee. Had no problem with that.
  13. I haven't. I am not seeing a therapist right now, only a psychiatrist. The thing is that I am single right now and am happy in all the other aspects of my life. I don't know if it is the right thing to do to think about this so much when I'm not even faced with the situation yet. I don't know if you understand what I mean. When I was younger, I used to think too much and get depressed because of it and i don't want to fall into that again, maybe I should just shrugg it off, move on and talk about it when I'll be faced with the situation.... maybe when I'll fall in love, I won't be even scared. Who knows.
  14. Does anyone here is afraid of commitment in a romantical relationship? This is paradoxal because I am very serious and stable in the way I invest myself in all the different fields of my life. But when it comes to having a romantical partner, I am terrified due to negative experiences I've had in the past (one of them led to me getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I suffered so much that I lost touch with reality, had physical pain and struggled writing and walking, and vommitted one night in front of the horrified eyes of my mother.) Right now, I feel like I can manage my life well. I am happy, independant, succeeding at what I do and am loving what I am doing. But when I'm romatically invested with a partner, I just cannot manage my life anymore because I get obsessed with the fear of suffering in the relationship. I don't know what to do with this. Last time things turned wrong, I was almost falling into dementia. The worst part is that it could have been a thousand times so much worse. I just cannot handle a romantical break-up. Even if as an individual, I am confident and am invested in all kinds of projects. It hurts soooo much. I fear I am going to be mad (crazy) next time it'll happen.
  15. I have reunited with a friend I haven't talked in three years. Three years ago, our friendship ended because I was not feeling well, and it was hard for her, as much as it was for me. (I was going through a depressive phase, it was before my diagnosis, and it lasted for a complete year.) Anywho, a few weeks ago, she wrote me a letter in which she explained that she was still thinking about me, that she was sorry, that she should have been a more supportive friend in my time of need. I thought it was a bit of nonesense because I feel like I'm the one who had been a bad friend to her but anyway, the whole thing is all part of the past and we talk now, just like we used to. She knows I've been depressed in 2009-2010 because we were going to school together so she witnessed it. But I don't know if she knows what happened after that, during the summer and autumn 2010 because we had graduated at the time. I got my diagnosis in november 2010. Should I tell her about my illness? I don't know if she knows. I consider her a very good friend but she is extremely empathetic. I don't want her to feel like she has to ''save'' me from something. But at the same time, what happened was a big part of my life and I feel like I'm dishonest if I don't tell her about it. I don't know if I should tell her about it because I don't want her to focus on that. I also tend to give more details than necessary when I explain something to others. Someone told me that it's all about how I present it to others. Should I tell her? I've been looking for some websites who are explaining what is bipolar disorder that I might maybe give to her. What do you guys think? PS : I've been stabilized for two years and a half. I am very functionnal, leading a normal life and I am happy and at peace with myself.
  16. Yes, she is involved with Bell Let's Talk Day. We need more people like her. :)
  17. For those of you who have been stable for many years, do you intend of telling your partner that you have a mental illness?
  18. "When you lose the respect of someone you used to respect very much, you automatically become more sensitive to what people in general might think about you." Discuss. :)
  19. Hi everyone, I am still reading what they are saying on that section of that forum and he's going through a break-up since a few months. His last entry explained how angry he was and how lonely he was. He has so much agressivity inside of him and it is something I saw many years ago. His last entry just confirms what I already thought about him. I will avoid that section altogether, it ain't good for me to start posting again there. At times, I want to defend myself and explain what bipolar disorder actually is but I know it'd be pointless. There is no point in trying to explain something to someone who is not willing to understand. And since I am still sensitive about my illness, I would only cause harm to myself by doing something like that. At the end of the day, I want to be completely indifferent. And for that, I have to stop fueling this conflict. I will move on and be okay, I just need time. It's the first time that a virtual conflict affects me so much. But i've learned some things about myself and I know that I need to be more careful in the future about what I reveal about myself on the Internet.
  20. I don't think they are going to help me because they have witnessed a manic episode I had on that forum three years ago...they probably think I am crazy too. That forum is just so huge. Those people weren't trolls, they just couldn't stand me and wouldn't leave me alone simply because we just did not get along. I just left that section altogether and began posting elsewhere.
  21. I made it! I am chosen! with another organization but they do similar things to the one i was talking about first. thanks everyone for your support !
  22. I cannot ''block'' them on the forum, I can only do it in my private messages. So I just stopped posting there and hope they will forget about me. I contacted the moderation but they are doing nothing about it. The thing is that when I got fed up with them, I was talking with another girl on that section about how my grandmother had been a victim of a m***** attempt in 2012 and one of the two people I had an argument with came in and laughed at me. I just told her she was a b****. I tried to defend myself in the best way I could but the more I tried, the more they were mocking me. So I just left the forum since this whole thing became a huge joke for them. I haven't been talking with them for 10 years, I was talking to other people but they all left, I keep in touch with them through facebook. But since I am used of going on that forum, I go on my freetime and post in all kinds of sections, I like going on that website.
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