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Everything posted by wayneb

  1. Bipolar played a large role in ending my marriage. I don't know if I can be in a relationship. It's not that it's not possible. Instead, it is just that it isn't worth the try for me. Many people can be in relationships and it's not a problem. They learn how to live with their illnesses. I don't know. Having bipolar disorder for me is so invasive that it's as if I can't function well enough to be a good husband. But you shouldn't give up. I'm much older than you and have had bipolar disorder since adolescents. You still can go thru therapy and make your way in this world. So blaze your own trail. Stay on your meds and be with a good therapist. Best wishes.
  2. I don't know anything about depression after gastric bypass, but would like to know about how the procedure went. How it works. Is it expensive, etc.
  3. I was reading online yesterday about the positive effects that Vitamin D can have on depression. You have to take a lot of it to work though. As far as sleep, I don't have a clue. I know of a good supplement company, but I can't say the name on here. But I wouldn't go the herbal route. They are real substances, even if they are "natural." I'm not going to self-medicate unless it's Tylenol or something.
  4. I think everyone worries about bills and money. This is especially true with the economy the way it is right now in America. You should relax. Concentrate on the blessings in your life. You have a job and a home. That's more than many people can say right now. I'm not trying to minimize your anxiety. I know it's real. Perhaps the Lexapro will work again. Don't stop with the therapist, as this is a good idea all of the time. But I bet you're going to do great! Best wishes.
  5. Well you can't let the world revolve around you, because that would be self-centered. Love and be loved. When people play games though, you have to evaluate whether you want that as part of your life. It doesn't sound like your friend was meaning you any harm at all. She was just playing, probably. But tell her you didn't like it and that you won't put up with that anymore. Then it's over with unless she does something like that again. Then if she does I would avoid her. All the best.
  6. Depression is a chemical problem often. But that doesn't mean that there are not things we can do to help the situation be as good as it can get. There's something to be said for not giving up. I'm glad that you, as a new member, want to be a part of a group that wants to help and not just talk gloom and doom. Best wishes.
  7. I agree with previous post. Other people are so important for psychological health. It is a sign that you're depressed that you don't want to be around people. It's not a good thing. Try to talk with a therapist about it. You may soon find yourself as a social butterfly. All the best.
  8. If you're not on a depression med but are depressed, then you need to talk with your doctor about it. Because of the substances, I would personally go to a psychiatrist and not just a general practitioner. They are trained to do incredible things using different combinations of medications. Maybe you should consider doing this. I wish you the best.
  9. If you weren't shown much affection as you were younger, it may drive you to have the desire for physical touch. I had that problem to a degree. Hugging is a very positive thing when done in a healthy environment. But it can also be overdone. Just be careful who you hug and realize that sometimes it isn't appropriate to hug. Best to you.
  10. I'm glad therapy is helping you so much. It was helpful to me for the first year, but after that it became redundant. I've been back since then, but didn't get much from it. I think I've been counseled into a circle! :). But many people find a lot of help in counseling. This is an important realization for you. It's not always just about medications. There's more to it than that for many people. Some people can get counseled until they're bankrupt, but it doesn't work the magic. For me, that's kind of where I am. My depression is more physiological (I am bipolar). I wish you the best.
  11. Depression distorts everything. You said you wanted your relationship with God and Christ back. So you must be Christian. In the Christian faith, our relationship with God isn't based on what we do, but on what God does. He's the One who gives you the strength to be in a right relationship with him. If you're having trouble with this, then God understands. He knows you're depressed. Please don't feel like you have to do something to please God or make Him happy. You are pleasing to God already. Just rest in your relationship with Him. Everyone who has a relationship with Jesus is forgiven. Consider Romans 8.1 which says, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Therefore, we aren't condemned or judged once we are with Christ. He isn't expecting perfection. He doesn't expect your praying to keep you in a right relationship with Himself. Invest time with Him on a regular basis. Relax while you invest time with God. You don't have to work hard at it. Just relax and let the relationship grow. It will grow on its own if you desire to grow in Christ. Everyone isn't Christian, and I understand this. If you aren't, then you probably don't agree with what I wrote and I respect that. But this is Christian doctrine. Please don't blast me too bad :) I'm a nice guy! :)
  12. Hi there. Procrastination. It is the result of a fear of failure, which is exactly what you are describing. It frequently comes from perfectionism, which you are also describing. Listen, you will never get things perfect. So don't try, it will only wear you out. I'm a big-time procrastinator. I work on a website and I go back and re-write articles repeatedly. I never feel like they are "good enough." It's never going to be perfect. You may want to consider a traditional school if you are having problems doing the online thing. I got an online degree. It taught me a lot. But it's not for everyone. Some people need a lot of structure. You may be one of these people. Make a schedule. If your phone doesn't have a calendar on it, then buy a regular calendar and create a to do list. I recommend the Franklin Covey Planner. It is great for making plans. It helps you stay on track. I used it when I was in school and it helped a lot. It helps you, not only keep your schedule, but to prioritize it. It's a system that works quite well. Don't sacrifice your time with your son. I understand that the anxiety, etc. is causing you to miss out on his childhood. But take a step back for a minute. If you are having so many problems that you are missing out on your son's life, then you need to see your doctor. There are medications to help you with this. If you're already on medications, tell him they aren't working and ask him to give you different meds. Also, try counseling. Many problems can be worked through with counseling. Often it is as important as medicine. A therapist will help you learn to organize your life. Stay focused. Get the help you need from your doctor and/or therapist. Do your best on your school assignments, and then forget about them. All you can do is your best. Again, if you can't deal with school like you're having problems being involved in your son's life, then you need to seek outside help. I hope you get the help you need. Keep smiling and I wish you the best.
  13. Hi Richard. I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time. Finding young ladies who are interested in you may not be as hard as you think. Get involved in your church, as a previous post suggested. You may be surprised to find young ladies who also aren't interested in someone who just wants to have sex with them. You say you are more of a home body than you are a social butterfly. I understand this, because I am the same way. But I have to force myself to go into social situations. If I don't, then I will never be around anyone. Try something as simple as joining a club at your college. It can be something as simple as the Spanish club, the young Republicans or the young Democrats (most campuses have both available, depending on your political persuasion). Maybe set a goal to go and hang out at the student center one day a week for 2 hours. While you are there, talk when someone talks with you. If no one talks to you first, then try to get involved in a sport at the student center. If you're not athletic, stick to ping-pong! But there is normally something for everyone at a college student center. The advice to go to counseling through your college is excellent advice. Every college that I am familiar with has a counseling center where students receive free counseling. The price is included in those stupid activity fees you have to pay with your tuition each semester. So get your money's worth and meet with a counselor. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Don't give up on making friends. As you do, you will eventually come across a young lady who is right for you. Don't feel bad. I didn't meet my wife until I was 23. And to be honest, I wish I would have waited 4 or 5 more years before I settled down. Don't be in a rush. Enjoy your youthfulness. Have some fun. Normally as you're busy having fun, you meet that special person. I hope things get better for you. I'm sorry you're feeling depression. It's difficult, I know. Hopefully things will get better soon.
  14. Zoloft was inadequate in helping me. Everyone's different though. Give it a try. It very well be exactly what you need. As far as using illegal drugs... that is a big mistake. You never know what you're truly getting, first of all. And second, using drugs are only going to make you more mentally unstable. They won't help. They may provide you with a temporary escape, but they won't solve the problem Look for the root of the problem and pull it up by the root. All illicit drug use does is provide temporary relief... but when you come down your situation is worse than what it was to start with. I wish you the best.
  15. Sounds like she cares (your doc). Indulge her by answering her questions, even if they make you uncomfortable. Be honest with yourself. Then be honest with her. I never tell anyone to stick to one doc indefinitely though. I stuck with a doc so long that he basically quit trying to treat me. When I changed, the new doctor completely changed my medicine and greatly helped me. There are always options. Don't limit yourself if you find yourself "stuck" with this doctor if she isn't helping you after a reasonable amount of time. I wish you the very best. I hope all works out!
  16. People are people. I think when the average person hears "mental illness," they think of people in state owned asylums where everyone is in a straight-jacket. Unfortunately, because I was a pastor of a large church when I was diagnosed and hospitalized 7 times, everyone and their mother knows about me. If I spend all of my time worrying about what everyone else thingks, then I will not get anything accomplished in my life. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for informing the public. I think it is all about education and should start in primary school. But I'm not holding my breath that much will happen within the next few years. Maybe I'm just pessimistic, but that's my view on it. Negative views of mentally ill people is so ingrained into society that I think it will take years to straighten it out.
  17. 1. I talked with my children on the phone, and I am getting ready to call them again. 2. I wrote 2,000 words for the eBook I am writing 3. I'm still celebrating that UGA beat FL on Saturday afternoon!
  18. All of my previous immediate supervisors knew about my bipolar disorder. I was fired or had to resign from all of those jobs. If I had to do it again, I would only tell someone if I absolutely, positively had to. For instance, if I was hospitalized (which I have been 7 times). I would have to let my employer know where I was. They may not ask me why according to the law. But in the real world where we all live and work, they would want to know or they'd get all worked up. Don't tell unless you have to!
  19. I'm glad you're here and have found the people warm. I've found the same thing. It's wonderful being somewhere that accepts you for who you are, regardless of what that looks like. Keep us posted as to how you are doing. I look forward to running into you in the forums again in the future.
  20. richie757, I've been there and done that. Don't feel bad about not kissing a girl yet. Believe me, sometimes relationships when you're young can be more trouble than they're worth. Enjoy being young. Don't sweat not having a girlfriend, because when you do meet someone you want to get to know, it will seem forced. Just be yourself. Some wouldn't dare do this, but you may want to try a reputable online dating service. I can't list them on this site due to policies, but I can say there are 2 or 3 that seem pretty straight up. (But always meet someone in public for the first several times you are around them for your own protection). One thing that helped my confidence level when I was looking for a girlfriend when I was your age was joining the gym and working out. It helped my mood as well. It's where I met one of my first girlfriends... at the gym. You should try it. A lot of people join gyms in order to meet people and build their bodies. Make sure you see your doctor about depression. It isn't an option. He can be your best friend if you let him (or her). If one doctor can't help you with your depression, then go to a different doctor. I went to 8 doctors before I found the one who could treat me aggressively enough to relieve my symptoms. I wish you the best. Keep your chin up. Try to hang out with some guy friends and be cool. Relationships have a way of working themselves out.
  21. I feel numb. I really don't feel any happiness at all. The only pain I feel is from being separated from my kids today. I wish they lived with me. It is very upsetting to them and to me.
  22. I wish depression was always temporary. But you, me, and many others are proof that it isn't. I'm so sorry you're feeling lonely. One thing I want to say is about exercising. You mentioned that you didn't care enough to exercise. That's self-defeating, because exercise is a great treatment for depression. You don't have to run a mile everyday. But get outside and walk for 30 minutes per day. I believe you'll find that just this will help you find some level of relief. And if there is one thing I learned about doctors, it is that they aren't going to treat you more aggressively if they don't know what they're doing isn't working. Is your prescribing doctor a psychiatrist? If he isn't, you need to go to one. Tell him that the mixture of meds is not strong enough. My doctor eventually had me on 60 mgs of Prozac and 400 mgs of Wellbutrin before it worked. So tell your doctor so he can see if there is a change he can make to help you. All the best, Wayne
  23. jm921, I am so sorry for what is going on with your son. I cannot begin to imagine what you must be going through. I'm not even going to attempt to tell you what you should do, because I think it is obvious that no one knows what to tell you, because only you know all of the ins and outs of the situation. All I can say is that I prayed for you just now. The previous person is right. You cannot gain his information because of HIPPA. It sounds like the only way you could get him to move in with you is if he gets to a moment of clarity while in the hospital so he can give you power of attorney. I wish you the best.
  24. sI've read some interesting things in this thread. I mainly agree with the article that started the post. As such, it should be obvious that I am a Christian. My faith has helped me a tremendous amount. Depending on God has taken a lot of pressure off of myself. At the same time, I follow the advice of my doctor. I am not one of these people who say if you have a mental illness then it is necessarily because of something you did wrong. That belief is a little extreme for me. I think it is as with many things, a balance. I wouldn't go to extremes one way or the other when it comes to saying it cannot be spiritual in nature absolutely, or that it is necessarily spiritual in nature. Some depression just is what it is. I'm bipolar and know that it's physiological. I don't think I did anything to cause it. In some ways I wish I had, because that would mean I could do something else to get rid of it. But, no such thing in my estimation. I wish everyone the best!
  25. Wow. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. First, I would tell you not to worry about her dad's behavior, because you cannot be responsible for it. If he becomes violent, then notify the police. That's how that situation should be handled. If you're not sure you love someone romantically, then perhaps you should ask for some space. I don't mean break up permanently. I mean ask her about dating other people as you continue to date each other. It may sound like it's not doable, but it's better than breaking up. If you go out with another girl, you will quickly learn whether or not you love your girlfriend. Regardless, I hope you get things worked out with her. You seem to be concerned with how she may react too. You can't worry about the way other people respond to your actions that are best for you. Do what's best for you and rest in your peace.
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