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About candy22
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Rank
Member
- Birthday March 22
Profile Information
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Gender
Female
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Location
America
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Interests
Writing. Cooking. Music. Movies. You Tube. Starbucks. iPad. 80s. 90s. Wishing I was a kid again.
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Yes, you are right!
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A lot of things are chaotic in my life (from dealing with pain, depression, finances and employment). Whenever, I express how I feel to anyone they say I’m being negative. I’m sorry I don’t always think positive thinking somehow makes you have less problems. The reality is I have a lot I’m dealing with and my depression worsened when I get overwhelmed.
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I deal with a great deal of loneliness. Nobody checks on me but with the exception of my mother or therapist. I have reached out to old friends months ago but nobody has texted or called me since then. I can go months with out anyone contacting me whatsoever. Like nobody truly cares about me. And before you say I should reach out I have but it would be nice if someone contacted me first. I feel like I’m not valued and I feel worthless. I know it’s a pandemic going on but I dealt with a lack of friendship and loneliness for years now.
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First and foremost, I know every family has their problems and issues. So, telling me that is not helpful. I just don’t like the family I was born into - nothing but chaos, drama, rejection, mental illness, narcissism, abuse, etc. My dad suffered with severe mental illness and my mom is pretty much overbearing at times. Sometimes I just wish I had a different family. Even as an adult, I still think this. Anyone feel the same way?
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Thank you for your response. Yes, I am taking different forms of help to heal but I wish something would feel like it is working. Yes, you are right, struggle is universal and everyone struggles but I do believe some people struggle more than others (I believe I do). And, yes there is no time limit on how long it takes to heal.
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I can’t get past why traumatic things had to happen to me and continue to happen to me. Loneliness, Bullying (workplace and school), child abuse, unemployment, disability, chronic pain, etc.. I just feel like if I didn’t experience these things then maybe I wouldn’t be suffering so severely with depression and post traumatic stress disorder. It’s just not fair. I hate when people say “It made you stronger.” It didn’t, it made me weaker. I hate the statement “It could be worse”, it is the worse to me. Yes, I go to therapy. Yes, I take medicine. Yes, I pray. But, I feel like nothing is working at all. I’m so frustrated.
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I can definitely relate to this. It seems like time and time again people are acknowledged for what they do but I’m overlooked unless it’s something negative. I usually always feel ignored by most people. It’s so frustrating because I do good out of the kindness of my heart not to seek attention but it would be nice if people acknowledged it. Sorry I don’t have any advice. I just wanted you to know you are not alone.
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I can definitely relate to having to be the one to reach out first. Weeks have gone by, and nobody texts or calls me unless I call them (with the exception of my mom). It’s frustrating to know that people truly don’t care about me.
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Ive been bullied all my life
candy22 replied to Flippedupside's topic in Bullying: Emotional and Physical Abuse
Aww, so sorry to hear this. I definitely find your post relatable to my own life experiences. I’ve been bullied my entire life as well. From elementary school to the workplace, I have ran across numerous bullies and I’m usually an easy target. At times, it seems like everyone I ran into was tearing me down. I’ve been called “ugly,” “dumb,” “fat,” and more just to name a few. Sadly, you can do nothing wrong to people and still get treated poorly by them. I don’t have an answer to why this happens. But, I will say if a parent is a bully then for some reason it’s easy to become a victim to bullying in other areas of your life like school or work. My dad was a bully and I think this lowered my confidence as child and made me an easier target for bullying by classmates. So, I definitely know how you feel. I hope you eventually get around people who treat you with kindness and value you. -
I’m trying to be okay but it’s so hard. Honestly, it’s overwhelming dealing with depression and loneliness in a midst of a pandemic. How are you?
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Yes, I feel like I’m losing it. I feel so lonely and depressed. No real family or friends to talk to and of course, hearing about the corona virus is making things worse.
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I was with my boyfriend for several months. But, a few weeks ago, he “ghosted” me and blocked me from everything. (Ghosting is a term in the dating world that means a person disappears and stops all means of communication with a person they are dating or in a relationship with.) I remember my last conversation with him. I asked him was something wrong and he said it wasn’t and that he would call me back. He never did. I tried to reach out but no reply. This has caused me to fall into a deep, deep depression. I’m so devastated. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I go to therapy but I still feel like the pain of this is too unbearable.
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Lack of Confidence reason for No Boyfriend
candy22 replied to candy22's topic in The Relationship and Depression Forum
I wasn't trying to attack you. Sorry if it came off that way. -
Never had a relationship (in my 30s)
candy22 posted a topic in The Relationship and Depression Forum
I have been single my entire life. I’m a female in my early thirties. I never had a relationship (no boyfriend). Recently, it’s starting to bother me more than ever (guess because my birthday is coming up). I guess it’s that a lot of people are already married with children yet I can’t even get a boyfriend or date. I’m worried because I really want a family before I’m too old. I socialize and hang out places, but seems like most guys are in their own little world or just not interested in me. I also don’t have any friends. I don’t know what’s wrong. But, it’s driving me crazy. I don’t know if depression plays a role in this.