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Everything posted by taysmom1016

  1. Depression and anxiety can make us paranoid and over-sensitive...I feel the same way, all my friends have moved on and don't want to be around me, etc. I hope you find a therapy that will help and know that you are among friends here.
  2. I agree with all of the above. I think your depression is a personal issue and something they don't need to know. Pets are wonderful companions and I have a dog myself. I used to have rabbits though, when I lived on a farm. I had a friend who even litter trained hers and it had the run of the house! Good luck to you...and your new friend!
  3. Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your kitty and all the bad luck you've been having lately. But here you are not alone. I know what it's like to lose friends who just seem to drift away into their own lives. My son and I moved back to our home town after a 2 year absence, bought a house that I've spent endless hours decorating and painting and the only ones who see it are 12 and under (my son's friends). I wish I could offer some good advice, all I can tell you is that you are among friends here. My only advice would be to talk to a doctor and see if there is a therapy that could be of help...and come here and talk to us whenever you feel alone. I hope your luck changes for the better!
  4. Hi Benedict, welcome to the forum! What an interesting story...I think you need to do what your heart tells you to do. It sounds like you're already accepting your decision and feeling good about it. I hope things work out for you and that you'll keep us posted on your adventures. Best of luck to you!
  5. Hi Cynthiann, welcome, I'm glad you found this forum too! It sounds indeed like you've had quite a few trials in your life. I'm glad you've finally found a man who loves you. I was in an abusive marriage when I was young and lucky to be out of it...I have a beautiful 12 year old son but still waiting for Mr. Right....but I've been single so long that if he doesn't come around, that'll be okay too. I look forward to seeing you around the forum, this is a great place to hang out and speak your troubles away!
  6. Hi K71, welcome to the forum! You'll definitely meet plenty of people who understand here! Glad to hear you're between episodes right now, I hope you can stay that way. Share whenever you feel comfortable, we're all a pretty understanding bunch here, make yourself at home!
  7. I'm glad you'll be sticking around, theone! I commend you for wanting to help others. Have you considered social work? Maybe contact your therapist or doctor and see if there are any groups you could speak at and give your experiences....and speaking at schools is a fantastic idea! There are so many young people that join this forum, it breaks my heart (that's the mom in me). There's strength in knowledge and if kids knew what to expect and how to find help, maybe they'd be more apt to speak up when depression hits them instead of keeping it all inside. Good luck to you!
  8. So glad to hear that! Yes, I remember too when I was going through the anxiety phase, everyone on here supported me and said, just give it time, it took me 4 weeks, that seemed to be the magic number because the beginning of the 5th week all of a sudden the anxiety let up and I just felt, well, energized I guess is the best word for it (that's when I finished painting my house on the inside!). I still have my down days, but they're not as dark and I can usually snap out of them by distracting myself. I would still like to go "up" a little more, see if I could actually be "happy" instead of just "not as depressed". I see my pdoc in one month so maybe we'll do a little adjusting. I hope you continue feeling well!
  9. Thanks for the compliments! Like I said, those are the before pictures (most of them) and I'll add more when I get around to painting the trim. I love my bedroom, I painted it a really pretty sky blue and hung a crystal chandelier (the super soft pillow top mattress and 32 inch HD flat screen don't hurt either!) and it's definitely my favorite room in my house. I remember the seller trying to talk me into a huge master bath with separate tub and shower and I said I'd rather have the space in my bedroom! It's 14 x 14.5 so it's a pretty good size and I still have plenty of room in my master bath. I was actually thinking white for my deck! I think it would look nice too against the gray, I was just worried about whether or not it would show flaws but I'll make sure to use a good primer and paint. I started smoking young, (I'm a Marlboro menthol gal) then when I got Legionnaire's they told me the reason I got it was probably BECAUSE I was a smoker and my lungs were compromised. Waking up after a 5 day coma with a breathing tube shoved down my throat, I vowed I'd smoked my last cigarette. I quit for almost 2 years then my son's dad took me to court trying to get partial custody to get out of child support and this was going on while I was trying to get approved for a mortgage and build a house...since I no longer drink, I had only one outlet for stress...and off to the gas station I went to buy a pack of smokes. I would love to quit, it was easy the first time (probably because I went through withdrawal while I was in a coma!) but with the anxiety, I just can't do it right now. Hopefully soon though, my son's already seen me on a ventilator once! I watch a lot of HGTV and always notice that the real estate prices seem so reasonable in Texas...I've joked with my son that if we ever moved, that's where we should go because we could have gotten a much nicer house than ours for what we paid! I could never leave our little town though, or my family. I've moved back to my dad's twice but always come back to our little home town...while I was born and raised in WI, my son grew up here and loves it here. It's like Mayberry. Have a nice weekend!
  10. Have you considered asking your wife to attend therapy with you? I'm no expert, I've been single for more than 20 years (yet I have a 12 year old son...huh...shows what happens when you combine superbowl party, alcohol and friends with benefits, ha ha). Depression makes you feel, well, nothing sometimes. Maybe your wife talking about the weather or other things seems trivial to you because it's hard to communicate right now but it might be her attempt to talk. There's a relationship board on this forum, you might want to check that out instead of listening to me...someone who can't remember what it's even LIKE to share the remote control! Good luck, I hope you and your wife can open up and connect again...
  11. I posted a reply, don't know what happened to it! I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds all too familiar. I used to wake in a panic every morning, hands shake all the time...it started about 2 years ago. I've slowly gotten better, not "cured", by any means, but better. You will too, I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will. We're all here to help you through it! I'll post some anxiety coping statements that help me sometimes....Good luck! http://www.anxietynetwork.com/content/coping-statements-anxiety#helpcop1
  12. Hi Shevek, I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time right now. I've been on numerous meds myself and I know what it's like to go through the waiting period. I hope it pasts quickly for you! I'm on disability now (from an illness in 2008, not my depression) but remember working in a factory where all I had time to do was think...I used to fantasize about pleasant things, meeting a famous celebrity, winning the lottery, catching the man of my dreams...it used to help pass the time. I'm glad you joined our forum, we're all here to help you and support you and each other...we'll all get through this together!
  13. Hello, fellow CHEDDARHEAD!!! (okay, we live in Minnesota now but I'm originally from Wisconsin and we are HUGE die hard Packers fans all the way, baby!!! My favorite T-shirt is my Aaron Rogers one that says, "12 = 3 x 4" (okay, so I was a little bitter after 16 years of hero worship when Favre went to the Vikings, my second favorite T-shirt is a hangman game with 1 letter missing that says _uck _avre....) Anyway, I'm a 47 year old single mom of a 12 year old son, suffered off and on from mild depression since childhood but got hit big time about 2 years ago, believed to be triggered by PTSD from a hospitalization (you can read my profile if you want) and also suffer from anxiety. This forum has been a Godsend to me and I hope it will be for you too. GO PACKERS!!! Too soon?
  14. Hello and welcome! I think Alaska is a beautiful state too, probably even colder than ours right now (Minnesota). I'm originally from Wisconsin so we're Packers fans, much to the dismay of most of our neighbors (there are some nearby that also decorate with green and gold). You're so fortunate to have traveled so much. I used to take vacations as a kid but my son hasn't been beyond these two states (single mom, low income, health issues, etc.) I would love to be able to take him to the ocean before he's too old to WANT to travel with Mom (he's 12 and I'm already taking a backseat to video games!). Anyway, glad to have you on board!
  15. Welcome Fiona! I hope you get your meds situation straightened out soon! I'm a single mom, 47, one 12 year old son and also like arts and crafts when I'm feeling well along with DIY house projects (simple ones, like paint and tile, not building a deck). I also love cats but have chosen to have a dog instead and although my son keeps begging for a cat, I'm afraid our dog wouldn't get along with it. Plus we go to my dad's every weekend and it's enough work packing up my bags, my son's, and the dog. We'd have to take the cat too! Although if I could find a siamese kitten for free...(they are my absolute favorite!). Anyway, I'm glad you joined, nice to meet you!
  16. Trust me, your support is always appreciated! I don't care if I post something and get 20 replies, I read each and every one of them. Your care and support DOES help! And I think it's wonderful that you care so much about helping others....just more proof that you found the right forum!
  17. My favorite food is definitely Mexican. My son's too, probably because I hit Taco Bell so many times when I was pregnant, I think they knew the sound of my car pulling up to the drive thru! My garage is a mess too, another thorn in my side that the builder's screwed me on. I ordered a one car garage...but because of the height of my house, the steps they had to put in to code, I can't get my car in (and I drive a Chevy Malibu). So basically I have an attached tool shed and a place to smoke (nasty habit, I know) at night. At least I have room for my bikes, lawn mower, etc. but it sucks having to clean snow off my car in the winter. I'm thinking of pulling out the "up to code" steps and building a narrower set and putting the railing on the inside. Then I think I could get my car in. But right now it's a mess, I won't throw out any boxes because I've decided to sell stuff online so I'm afraid I'll throw a box I could use to ship so it's full of cardboard. Also my old dining chairs, coffee and end tables, bikes, lawn mower, garden tools, etc. The first warm day I'm going to go out there and pull everything out and restack it in there in tubs, maybe put in a couple shelving units. I'd like to have my own garage sale and they have city wide sales in April so I have to do it by then. Well, it's almost midnight and I'd better try to sleep (try being the operative word). Just online setting up a spreadsheet for my online auctions...I figured if I started it, I'd be motivated to start taking pictures and listing tomorrow...and the sooner I'll get my hot water heater!!! Maybe in time to put my OLD one out at my garage sale! Talk to you later! (P.S....I did post some "before" pictures of my house on my gallery...I'll post the "after" as I finish the rooms with the trim. I'll try to at least post my fireplace and backsplash...my 2 first tiling experiences!)
  18. It's perfectly normal to have negative thoughts...that's all part of the illness, right? I'll send you some good karma...hopefully it will help! :yinyang: :yinyang: :yinyang:
  19. Hi solarwinds.... Yes, I suffer from the dreadful S.A.D. too. Ironically, I have a phobia of tornadoes so I'm not crazy about the hot summer months either, but I definitely feel my depression more in the winter months. It can go both ways, some hate the summer, some hate the winter. I love taking care of my yard, planting flowers, mowing, walking my dog, etc. (and I'm a rummage sale FANATIC, looking for treasures to refinish for my home and to sell online, it's amazing what people will sell not knowing what they have...) so when the weather gets cold....(even though fall is my favorite season), I get blue. I've been busying myself this winter painting every room in my house and now that I'm done, I'm even sadder (even though it WAS a lot of work, and I still have the trim but I'm not looking forward to that, especially in the carpeted rooms!). I've been trying to pick up some hobbies, the selling online, making bracelets, painting pictures and plates, fixing up some thrift store furniture (found a chair for $5, a storage ottoman with wooden legs for $3, and a bookshelf, solid wood, for $13, spray painted them, recovered the fabric and they're GORGEOUS! I also found my dining chairs there for $5 each and painted and recovered them too, looks like I paid hundreds). I guess what I'm trying to say in not a long winded way at all (sarcasm) is if you can find a hobby you enjoy (I HIGHLY recommend Pinterest, a website FULL of things to look at and do) and keep as busy as possible, the gloomy weather is a little easier to bear. Every night I lie awake and plan what I will do the next day (starting, of course, with my cup of coffee) and it makes getting out of bed a little easier. Then when it's time to relax, I come here and hang out with you fine people and catch up! Remember, spring is just around the corner....it'll be here before you know it!
  20. Hi Elfmonkey (cute name), glad you could join us! I think you are a lot like me, you have a great sense of humor and it seems to come out at the darkest times (I'm SO like that!). Either way, I'm glad you have a sense of humor because dealing with depression, it's a very important thing to have! You are definitely not cuckoo...if you are, we all are (guess that's possible...hmmm....) Did you say you're getting married in a week? Congratulations!!! I'm a little anti-men myself (abusive husband, cheating boyfriend, then a complete jerk who got me pregnant and deserted my son and me...although he is good for 2 things...sperm and child support!). I'm sure there are plenty of wonderful men out there, I just seem to repel them. I'm sure you have a wonderful guy, though. I hope to see you around, there are a lot of forums I'm sure you can relate to but this was a good place to start. As you can see by the number of my posts, I've been here a while (actually, just a year and a half, I'm just REALLY depressed and have too much time on my hands!) and I hope you'll find the forum as helpful as I have. See you around!
  21. Wow, I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time! If your boyfriend is abusive and thinks you're a wimp, RUN! I was with an abusive man for 8 and a half years because I was 16 when we met and I didn't know any better. Leaving him was the 2nd best thing I ever did (the first was having my son 12 years ago). They say they're sorry, they say they'll change...they won't, trust me!!! I have health issues too and it sucks (feel free to read my profile)...physical problems lead to depression, depression makes physical pain worse, it's a vicious circle. But you do have a future, and a bright one too...especially if you can get away from the abuse! You'll find friends here, I promise you that. Everyone here knows what you're feeling and has similar problems and understands. I hope you'll hang out and get to know us. Welcome!
  22. Hi Need4speed (used to be one of my son's favorite video games until he discovered Black Ops...would rather have him playing the other game!) I'm glad you found our forum...and kudos on being clean and sober for 2 months! It sounds like you're taking all the right steps towards your recovery. And I know what it's like to drift away from friends when your lifestyle changes but don't worry, you'll find plenty here. And while we can't exactly go out for a cup of coffee (unless you want to drive from IL to MN, which is a long way for a cup of coffee!), we will listen and support you and never judge because unlike your other friends, we all know what you're going through. I'm glad you joined our forum, I think you'll like it here!
  23. Honestly, it doesn't sound like your friend is a great loss. She sounds like a hypocrite! I know after my DUI I would get in the car with anyone, as long as I didn't have to drive and get the ticket! Then I rode home with a friend who fell asleep at the wheel and I ended up in ICU in critical condition (I never blamed him for it). After that, I rode only with sober people or went places within walking distance. Then I became a single mom over 12 years ago and eventually the drinking went out the window altogether...and I can't say i miss it! I promised myself my son would never see me drunk (I grew up with a mom who drank a lot) and he still hasn't. P.S....your former friend sounds like a drama queen who likes the attention the accident gave her. Don't worry about her anymore.
  24. I would definitely switch psychiatrists if you are not comfortable talking with the one you have. Don't worry about HER feelings, it's about you getting well. Call the clinic and ask for a referral, explain your situation, and I'm sure they'll have someone they can recommend. Maybe someone who works more with younger people or people similar to you. Good luck! And remember, it may be a slow process, but it sounds like you're moving in the right direction! Hang in there...baby steps!
  25. If you found your way back once, you'll get there again...don't give up hope! I'm doing okay...keeping busy helps. Now I'm done painting all the rooms in my house and just trying to find other things to keep me occupied. I've ordered some beads online and going to start making bracelets and anklets (I used to make them in the past a lot until i got sick) and hopefully selling a few online. Been looking on Pinterest and Youtube for new styles and easy instructions... Keep fighting, Saint Anthony! I take a lot of supplements too but my diet could use improving! My son has ADHD and his medication kills his appetite during the week so it's hard to cook a healthy meal when he doesn't get hungry until 7-8 at night...and then not very hungry. He makes up for it on weekends though, sometimes too much! You are not a failure...you have an illness that's preventing you from living a normal life, we all do. But I believe we will work our way back no matter how long it takes! When I was trying to get approved for a mortgage 3 years ago, I bought a cross that says, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams..." Whenever I would get discouraged waiting to hear if I was approved, I would look at that cross. It now hangs front and center on the wall of our new home. Don't give up!
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