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Everything posted by taysmom1016

  1. I'm on 20 mg. but also on mirtazipine and clonazepam for anxiety so my pdoc won't go any higher. I do think I'm doing a little better, more ambition (painting every room in my house and actually wake up looking forward to it!). I started on the Prozac for the first time back in 1998...my depression was pretty well controlled for a long time, a lot milder back then. I had my son in 2000 and being a single mom was the best thing that ever happened to me and I was HAPPY! Then in 2008, I had a severe case of Legionnaire's disease that left me with a lot of problems and I think the depression came from that. I have some neurological damage and memory and pain problems...then the depression reared its ugly head late 2010 big time. I've been fighting my way back ever since...it's been slow going but I'm getting there! The best therapy for me is to just keep busy so I can't THINK. When I think, I worry, think about all the bad things that could happen, will happen, etc. I never used to be like that. So I keep as busy as possible. Lawn work in the spring/summer/fall, painting my interior of my house since winter started. I do take my Prozac in the morning...I get the peaceful, drowsy feeling at night after I take my clonazepam and mirtazipine (no wonder I look forward to bedtime!). I see my pdoc in a week, I think I'm going to give it a little more time. While I'm not great, I'm better than I have been in a while and I'd hate to change that and screw it up. I think with my situation, my illnesses and pain (feel free to read my profile, it describes it better), it's hard to not let life get me down, not being able to work (memory loss), chronic pain, etc. I'll settle for content....
  2. Hi Amie, I'm glad you're connecting with your friends, it always makes things easier. And volunteering at the yoga studio sounds like fun! You're lucky to have a husband to help you out with the physical chores...although I helped my son with a science project this week, he was trying to make an elevator out of a box, some string, pulleys, and the string kept falling off. I figured out a way to put a peg in the box to put tension on the string so it would stay on the pulley (plus got out the trusty hot glue gun to put everything together). He was very grateful and I told him, "See? Doing things on my own for over 20 years without the help of a man...ya learn to be creative!" Still...sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone, if not for my sake, for my son's. His dad's, well, let's just say the only things he cares about are money, his band and himself. His loss, my son is his only child and someday he's going to regret not being there for him....my son could care less...he likes things just him and me. I guess that's it...almost done painting, the walls, anyway, then get to start on the trim. THAT should be fun.... Keep in touch, and enjoy the yoga!
  3. Yeah, I know the feeling. It seems like I'm always moving but I just tried on an outfit I bought and all I saw were bulges...the only way I lose weight is if I get really ill and I'd rather be plump and healthy! I had my son at 35 and no matter what I try, that baby fat won't go (and my baby's 12!). Oh well...he's worth the pooch... How was your Valentine's Day? I know how hard holidays like that can be after a break up. I spent the day painting my house so for me it was just Thursday. I just have a little area at the end of my hall where my washer/dryer are, I tried using some leftover blue from my room but it was too bright so back to the paint store this weekend...then all I have left is every piece of trim, door, window...sigh...at least it keeps me busy.
  4. Hi Rosegirl.... Happy late Valentines Day from one single woman to another! Maybe next year will be the year we both get flowers from MEN, the real kind, not virtual! Sorry things are still down with you...I can relate to the cluttered house. I've been painting and trying to finish before cleaning up and putting curtains and art back on the walls so the place is disastrous! Running the dishwasher and the laundry is about all I can handle right now. Taking it easy today but spending too much money watching the home shopping networks on TV so I need to shut it off and go do something!!! Hope you feel better soon, treat yourself nice...maybe even buy YOURSELF a little something, it doesn't have to be much, lip gloss, a single flower...you deserve it!!!
  5. Sorry to hear it didn't go well! Try not to let it get you down....we're all here with ya!
  6. Haven't tried it, but some supplements do work for some people...
  7. Hi Fire, Sorry to hear about the nightmare...I hope you feel better soon! My Remeron, too, seems to work in varying ways but taking smaller doses does seem to be more sedating so I take 30 late afternoon/early evening and 30 at bedtime. Seems to work for me (along with the clonazepam and ambien, did I mention I have HORRIBLE insomnia?) I do seem to feel a little better on new combo, nothing dramatically so, but have more energy and have almost completed painting the interior of my house (walls, still have trim). Can't wait til spring so I can refinish my deck and start taking care of my yard. I definitely have to keep busy or I have too much time to think....which isn't good. Sorry about the computer crash...that happened to me just today too, typing out a long email to my cable company complaining about my bill and Google Chrome just crashed, lost the whole darn thing...otherwise I usually prefer the Chrome over Internet Explorer, a little faster, I think. Hope all is well and you get your meds adjusted to work for you soon...stay in touch!
  8. Hi Catpaws, Rest assured, you are NOT alone!!! I wasn't even sure I WANTED to have a baby because I was so scared of pain of labor and delivery!!! But a very, blessed "surprise" at the age of 35 brought me my wonderful son and I wouldn't have it any other way! Just know that the doctors are there to help you, with medication (go for the epidural, TRUST ME!), oxygen, wonderful and caring nurses...and once that baby's in your arms, any pain or fear you had goes right out the window!!! There are so many advances in medicine these days, childbirth isn't the scary, excruciatingly painful experience it used to be. So go ahead and plan for your blessed event...enjoy your pregnancy and know that everything will be just fine!!! And keep us posted!
  9. I agree with NorthernStar, when I'm depressed, I can't even imagine being in a relationship or feel attraction towards the opposite sex (I'm 47 and have a 12 year old son and have been single for years). On good days, I find myself taking a little more care with how I dress, putting on a little more lip gloss, fixing my hair, walking with my head up and smiling at nice looking guys (if they smile first, I'm a little shy). Sometimes even when I'm not feeling upbeat, I find if I take a little more care in my appearance it will pick me up a little and make me feel more confident. So I do believe that depression or your mood does effect the way you feel about relationships. Don't be hard on yourself, you're not alone feeling like this. Hopefully you'll feel better soon and your "spark" will return! Good luck!
  10. I take Remeron too, 60 mg. They say the larger the dose, the less sedating. I take a 30 mg in the early evening and another when I want to go to sleep (I also take clonazepam for anxiety) and find it works better this way. Everyone is different though, check with your doctor and see if maybe you should cut your dose in half or try something else. Good luck!
  11. Hi Vincent, welcome to the forum! I look forward to seeing you around, this is the best forum, hands down, for understanding, caring and supportive people who share in your feelings and troubles. I hope you'll find as much help here as I have!
  12. Don't feel bad if you need some help getting through this...I'd see your doctor as soon as possible. The sooner you talk to someone, the sooner you can get some help getting on with your life. We all need a little extra outside help sometime! If you can, I'd try really hard to get some exercise, even if it's just a walk. I can wake up feeling like crap, not wanting to do ANYTHING but pull the covers over my head and forcing myself outside to take a long walk with my dog or through the stores window shopping on weekends, almost always makes me feel better...and exercise works for both depression and weight loss so you'd be helping out both issues. Put some upbeat music on an MP3 and take off....it will help!
  13. I just went back on Prozac about 6 weeks ago but was on it years ago and remember the feeling, not so much when I woke up, but after I realized it was working. Still waiting for that peaceful, easy feeling this time, although my depression is much worse this time around. What I would GIVE to get that feeling again!
  14. Hi Steph, I'm 47 and know exactly what you're going through. I have PTSD and used to wake with fear, panic, like crashing back to reality and it would take me an hour or more to calm down. Then my pdoc put me on cyproheptadine for nightmares and it really helped! I still occasionally have mornings where I wake up "unsettled" or feeling fear or panic, but they are a lot fewer and further between now. I often wondered too if it was peri menopause because of my age but since I have a Mirena IUD for heavy periods, I don't get mine anymore so I'm not sure I'll know when menopause starts! Good luck, I hope you find the right meds that work for you!
  15. Know that you are not alone on this! I hate even MAKING phone calls or answering the phone! I prefer communicating through email or text message so I don't have to talk to people! Just know that once the interview is over, you can relax and won't have to worry about it anymore...good luck to you!
  16. Welcome, theone11! As the mother of a 12 year old son, I commend you for what you are doing on behalf of bullying...I hear so many scary and sad stories, kids can be SO cruel! And I'm sorry you had to go through all that but I'm glad you're making something good come out of it. I look forward to seeing you around!
  17. Hi lightmachineUK, As you can see, we come from all over here...I'm from the chilly state of Minnesota in the US and also suffer from depression and anxiety among other things. I hope you'll make yourself at home here and find it as helpful as I have!
  18. Hi S.S., welcome! What you said makes perfect sense to me...and I so hear where you are coming from! This is the perfect place to come and get things off your chest that you don't feel comfortable talking to the people in your life about. I hope you'll make yourself at home and jump in any time you feel like it!
  19. He ceedling, welcome! , I love fresh flowers too and living in Minnesota in February, I could really use seeing some right now! Can't wait til spring to plant my flowers! I'm glad you joined our not so little group, we all know what you're going through as we're dealing with it ourselves so you'll find lots of support and friends here!
  20. Your wife is lucky to have you! Unfortunately, there's not much more you can do than be there for her, listen if she wants to talk, encourage her to seek therapy if she's not already. It sounds as if work keeps her mind occupied and maybe the negative thoughts creep in when she gets home and has time to think...therapy might help her find a way to control these thoughts. You might encourage her to join the forum also, it's a great place to vent and get support from people dealing with the same crappy illness. I've made lots of "friends" here who I'm not afraid to talk to about my illness and it really helps. Good luck to both of you!
  21. Welcome to the forum! Are you seeing anyone for your depression? I know it sucks, I've been dealing with it on and off for years (I'm 47). Some days are worse than others... I'm glad you joined the forum, this has been a great help to me since I joined over a year ago. Everyone here is going through their own stuff and understand what you're going through, no one judges, only support and understanding here. I hope it helps you as much as it has me....I look forward to seeing you around!
  22. Hi Fire, Thanks for checking in, I was worried! I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. I hope you find solace soon...we're all here when you're ready t talk. God Bless you, too!
  23. Welcome to the forum! When I first realized I was depressed several years ago, it started with being angry all the time...I didn't even realize I was depressed. After talking with my doctor and starting an AD, I started to feel better and not like running people off the road who cut me off in traffic!!! So know that you are not alone....
  24. You are BOTH totally normal...and so am I!!! I have 2 kids, one human boy, 12, and one furbaby, my 2 year old mini aussie shepherd. I have had pets all my life and it's ALWAYS devastating to lose one!!! My aussie is actually my second one. My son and I bought our first at 5 weeks old to celebrate moving into our first very own home. She was beautiful, blue merle, blue eyes....2 weeks after we moved into our new home, she got sick and died (parvo, I thought she had been vaccinated and felt horribly guilty that I was waiting to update her shots at 6 months, she was 5 months). The breeder felt so bad she gave us our current dog, also blue merle, one blue eye, one brown. I told her I wasn't ready for another, and wanted to wait until she had another litter but she sent a picture of her and she was our dog's half sister....and I couldn't stand the thought of the poor baby out there all by herself, the last pup (she was 4 months old). We love our baby as much as our first but I still miss the first one and feel guilty every time I think about her...but know she'd be happy knowing we're giving her sister a loving home! I know your lost pets can't be replaced...but new ones do help you heal...and there are lots out there that need loving, safe homes. Your furbabies would want you to be happy!!!
  25. Your friend is lucky to have you...don't give up on him. Having such a major change in his life can be devastating and may take some time to adjust. Just let him know you're there for him if he wants to talk, that's about all you can do. Good luck!
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