taysmom1016
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Posts posted by taysmom1016
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I'm glad you decided to reach out. I remember too, being caught in a dead-end job, in a factory, afraid to quit because I had 11 years seniority and benefits, vacation days, etc. until a serious car accident decided my fate. I could no longer sit for long periods of time that were required in a factory setting so I took a leap of faith, quit, and went back to school. It wasn't easy, but it was the best thing I ever did. That was a long time ago and I'm on disability now but that's another story...lol.
Is there some way you could take some classes or training while still working as a teacher? I find what I call "treasure hunting" (buying things at garage sales and thrift stores) reselling online a great way to make extra income and it's fun too. I mean, come on, getting paid to SHOP? What's not to love? :D
I hope you can reconnect with your old friends. I moved back to my hometown almost 6 years ago now and only recently have been putting myself out there, reacquainting and meeting new friends. I walk a lot, listening to music as I do, and it helps. I also have my painting and other crafts for distractions.
I hope you find something to put a ray of sunshine back in your life, you deserve it. Coming here was a great first step. It saved me years ago and though I haven't visited the forum for a while, I decided to check in today...maybe it was just to talk to you! Best of luck to you, and remember, HOPE (Hold On, Pain Ends).
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Hi Kelly,
I'm a 50-year-old single mom to one teenage son so I don't know how much help I can be in the relationship department since it's been years since I've been in one. Sometimes I think that may be part of my loneliness and depression, but now I can see there are 2 sides to everything.
You say your husband comes from a happy family. Maybe it's just hard for him to understand depression as it is for anyone who has never "been there". I understand why you're feeling hurt and think couples counseling would be a great thing for you so a professional can help him understand what depression really is and not something you can just "snap out of". Even if you can't get in for a while, I'm sure it would be worth the wait.
I'm glad you found the forum though, it's a great place to come and vent. There's even a relationship group where maybe you could talk to people who understand what you're going through better than a lonely old single woman..lol. I hope everything works out for you.
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I deal with a lot of female problems too, post Legionnaire's disease in 2008 that screwed up my whole system. I've thought of just having them take everything out so I wouldn't have to deal with that every month (I'm 50, had my only child, don't need it anymore). I'm afraid of the hormone imbalance also.
I hope they find the right medication/therapy for you. I know it's not a cure all, but it helps. I try to force myself to do things I know I'm supposed to enjoy even though it feels like more of an effort tan anything else, but it does help in the long run. Take care.
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I alternate between jumping in my bed and watching anything home improvement on TV or taking my dogs and cats (yes cats, in a stroller) for a long, beautiful walk in the gorgeous little town we live in. I'm on a down slope this week, not sure why, but I've been more depressed and anxious than usual. Hopefully, this too shall pass.
As for the youtube videos, I have a teenage son who is also having anxiety attacks (fortunately I've been honest so he knows what is happening). He too uses youtube to calm him. Whatever works....don't be ashamed.
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Welcome!
I'm glad you found this forum, it can be so helpful talking to others who understand exactly what you are going through. I'm a single mom of a 14-year-old boy who has suffered from depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc. for years. I thought I had it under control but lately it has been rearing its ugly head. That's why I came back here today after a long absence and saw your post.
Are you on medications? Seeking professional help? If not, I hope you will as no one has to suffer like this. I see my doctor in July and hopefully will get my meds adjusted or find another way to get back on the right road. Being a mom with depression is tough. My best advice is be as honest as you can with your kids, they understand more than you think. My son came into my room last night with an anxiety attack. Fortunately he knew what was happening and just needed mom (he slept on my bedroom floor).
I know I'm all over the place here, but it's all part of the illness (feel free to read my profile). I hope you find this forum as helpful as I have over the past several years. There are a lot of groups I'm sure you can relate to and people are caring and do not judge. I hope things look up for you soon, for both of us. Good luck!
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Welcome! I'm a little late in that but this time of the year is keeping me busy...glad to have you here!
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Ignore them. If they don't understand, you don't need them. If I sound bitter, it's because I've been there...I'm STILL there. So called friends, even family members, don't believe what they don't see or understand and they don't know what it's like. I had an illness 6 years ago that left me with short term memory loss, increased pain, migraines, depression, anxiety, PTSD, insomnia...I could go on. One thing's for sure, I've found out who my real friends are (and it's usually the ones with problems of their own and know what I'm going through).
Right after I moved into my home, my neighbor came out while I was mowing and said, "I'm surprised to see you mowing, I heard you were disabled." I bit my tongue so hard it actually bled (I have no intention of moving so I didn't want enemies behind me). So I took a deep breath and explained my illness to her and told her things that were none of her business. But I don't go out of my way to talk to her, when I'm shoveling my walk, I stop at their property line (as do they). My neighbors next door, the husband is on disability for diabetes. They mow my lawn when I'm gone in the summer, I mow theirs when I'm home. I shovel their walk, they shovel mine, share my internet...you get the idea. Find some like-minded people to bond with, or explain your situation to the friends you think will understand. This board is my stepping stone! Good luck!
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Sounds so familiar...4 years ago I was so depressed I couldn't eat and I lost 40 lbs. in 2 months (on top of the 30 I'd lost trying)...I actually looked like crap. After a brief hospitalization, it was determined that nothing was physically wrong with me, that I was suffering from depression and anxiety. I was put on mirtazipine specifically for it's appetite-enhancing qualities.
I've long since regained all the weight I lost (and then some) and while my depression is still a daily battle, I'm in a much better place than I was 4 years ago. As I tell my son, I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and depressed. But it doesn't have to be one or the other, I've put on a little extra because of the weather and holidays but during the spring, summer and fall, I walk...a lot! I have 2 dogs and 3 cats (the cats love to ride in a pet stroller) and live in a beautiful small town with lots of trails and parks and I can keep it under control a little better. I even invested in a black Friday sale and got one of those fitness bracelets so I can track how much I walk when I start again...and when I figure out how to use the darn thing!
I haven't been back to the forum in a while but with the weather and my sedentary lifestyle of late, I've been a little more down than usual so I came here hoping for a pick me up. It has helped, but what I really need to do is stop being a wus, bundle up and get out and walk despite the weather!
Hopefully you can find a happy medium between medication and weight gain. Don't give up, there are some meds out there that don't come with that side effect. And if you can, try to exercise a little more, eat a little healthier and drink lots of water. Vitamins have helped me to, do a little research on vitamins and supplements that help with depression. With the gloomy weather, I've been doubling up on the D! Good luck!
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Will, I don't believe you are lazy, you are depressed and depression makes you lazy (trust me, I decorated my house for Christmas over a week ago and my empty tubs are still in my living room and my house is a mess). I think you're just feeling a little overwhelmed right now...it's been a while since I was in school but I can remember this time of the year being very rough. Take the holidays to rejuvenate, relax, reconnect with old friends, do things you enjoy and when you get back to school, hold your head up, smile at people and start back with a "can do" attitude. Even if it doesn't feel natural at first, find something you enjoy, go for a walk, listen to music. Don't depend on other people to make you happy because that usually leads to disappointment.
I hope you'll feel better soon and don't feel bad about the rant, that's what this forum is for!
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Welcome to both of you...hope you make yourselves at home! Congrats on the new son, Justin! I'm a single mom but my son is slightly older...by 14 years.
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Hi Mleb43!
I'm a 49-year-old single mom and know just what it's like to feel like you're only going on for the sake of your children. My son almost lost me when he was 7 from an illness and I won't do that to him again! It's sad for you that you have to live like this without being happy. Are there any organizations in your area where you can seek behavioral health help for free or on a sliding scale? Ask your doctor about that, it's the least he can do if he won't help (which doesn't say much for his hippocratic oath in my opinion). 4 years ago I was drowning...today, not so much! It wasn't a, wake up and HEY, I'M CURED, type of thing, it was a gradual, slow process with both medication, therapy and just finding something, ANYTHING to focus on (I love to refinish old furniture, make jewelry, walk my dogs and cats, yes cats, they have a stroller) and basically force yourself out of bed some days even though it hurts. Search the internet, there are some herbal supplements and vitamins that can help some people too (in addition to my prescriptions, I also take L-theanine, NAC, valerian root to help me sleep, and a butt load of vitamins (folic acid is a good one for women).
I hope that you can find someone out there who will help. And I hope you will find as much support and therapy right here as I have over the past few years. I look forward to seeing you around!
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This is a great place to come for support, I think there is even a forum for people closer to your age, pretty much a forum for everything you can relate to...check them out and jump in where you feel comfortable. Welcome!
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Hi finj, welcome...
Wow. You've been through it all and back, haven't you? I don't know if I can help, but I can empathize. I'm a single mom, 49, and my son has always been my priority. His dad and I never were a couple so I don't know what it's like to be stuck in a relationship because of the kids, but I was stuck in a loveless marriage when I was younger with no children. I will say that when I left and found my freedom, it was one of the happiest days of my life. As for my son, now, he knows I love him, I'm there for him, and even though his dad and I aren't together, we both love him and since most of his friends are also from single parent homes, it's the norm for him.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that in order to be there for your children, you need to find yourself first. Please seek professional help and don't be afraid to tell them about your past because 1) it may have an effect on your future treatment and 2) I'm pretty sure that although pre-existing medical problems can have an effect on insurance, behavioral health records are strictly confidential unless you are a threat to yourself or others (listen to whom I'm telling, you're a lawyer, you probably know more about it than I do).
I don't know how old your kids are, but the one thing I've always done is be honest with my son and even at a relatively young age, he understood (I almost died when he was 7 from Legionnaire's which I think may have resulted in neurological damage leading to my depression). We don't have your traditional 2 parent family but we like what we got. And I think if you can get the help you need to pull yourself out of this, your kids will appreciate you more for it. Do whatever you have to do...but I've been in the deepest, darkest of pits and managed to slowly climb out thanks to the help of medication, therapy, and support (this forum has been a Godsend). I hope you'll find the light at the end of your tunnel and hang out around here, it's a great place for support from people who know EXACTLY how you feel and you don't have to pretend to be fine. Good luck to you!
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Wow, I can so relate...I suffer PTSD and insomnia from a near fatal case of Legionnaire's 6 years ago and sleeping is the pits for me. And I was doing well for a while but lately my anxiety has been kicking into overdrive and I'm not sure why. Could be the weather getting cold and snowy alll of a sudden and not so muchc outdoor time.
Do you find when you do sleep, you wake up with your heart racing in a panic? This is something else I've had to deal with. I just have to take a few deep breaths, collect my thoughts and tell myself this is only temporary and I will feel better in a little while.
It's really hard to shut your mind off at night. That's why I miss walking, I used to exhaust myself physically which helped. I guess I'm just going to have to bundle up and tough it out. I did treat myself to a new down coat I'm picking up this weekend along with some new warm boots, maybe that will hel. If nothing else, at least shopping is therapeutic for me!
I wish I had some words of wisdom to help. I try relaxing my arms, then my legs, then my whole body, little by little, concentrating on each part as I go and my breathing. If I still haven't relaxed, I count to 100 and then backwards down to 1. Just a few of my little tricks that might help. Good luck!
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Hi Versi, welcome!
I'm glad you joined the group, it's been 3 years for me here and it has been a tremendous help, having a place to come and unload to people who know exactly where you are coming from. Trust me, I do. Right now I'm laying here trying to motivate myself to get up and get dressed (it's 2 in the afternoon) because my son will be home from school soon and he doesn't even have a costume for trick or treating and I have to paste a smile on my face and hand out candy when all I want to do is shut the light off and pretend I'm not home.
It's not easy and sometimes it almost hurts to push yourself forward but the rewards are great. I always feel better when I do get up and function rather than giving in to staying in bed and watching TV or getting lost in my laptop. I'm glad you came here for support, you will not only find it here, but eventually you will give it to. I hope you'll hang around!
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You have an Australian Shepherd!!! Nice looking dog and also very smart!
I just posted a few picture of my dog in my gallery. You can look at them!
Adorable! I especially love the one where he's covered in snow...reminds me of Minnesota!
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Aww..my dog's a chow chow.
I don't know the breed very well, but if they're as sweet and smart as ours, I know which parent he got it from! What color is your dog? Ours is such a pretty shade of red that we call him our lucky penny. I posted a picture in my gallery!
I have a picture of mine in my gallery too. He's mostly red with some white and dark brown, they call it cinnamon in the chow books. Yours doesn't look that much like a chow chow (sorry), lol. They are really loyal to their family but can be aggressive to strangers so something to look out for. The shelter I got him from made sure I took him to dog school to train and aggressiveness out of him. They are really smart but so smart that it's hard to make them obedient. Good luck with your new family member!
Your dog is beautiful! Don't worry about offending me by saying mine doesn't look chow, I totally agree! In fact if the rescue lady hadn't told me she knew for a fact that his mama was a chow, I never would have believed it. I saw him and thought, "golden retriever" and that's what drew me to him. He's sleeping at the foot of my bed right now with one of my two cats. So far other than being a little shy, he's been great with strangers but I walk almost every day and my dogs (and cats in a stroller, lol) get a lot of attention. Thanks for the info...I'll be doing some extra obedience training with him, just to be on the safe side!
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Please seek help from a professional. There is so much help out there, no one has to suffer. A doctor will help you figure out what is "normal" for you and with the right therapy, life is pretty good!
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Hi Bridget,
I saw so much of myself in your post...I suffered brain trauma because of an illness and the neurological damage left me with depression, anxiety, insomnia, PTSD, short term memory loss, etc. I also feel incapable of falling in love, although I have an almost 14 year old son whom I adore with my whole heart, along with 2 dogs and 2 cats that help fill my life. I'm also creative, I like to decorate my house, refinish furniture, make jewelry, crafts, etc.
I'm so glad you joined our forum. I've been here 3 years and it has helped me so much, people are so nice and understanding here and I hope you'll stick around. My depression has come a long way since I joined, I find keeping active (especially outside walks with my pets) is my best defense. I have good days and bad days, but at least I have good days, which is something I couldn't say a few years ago.
Look around at the forums, join in where and when you feel like it, and welcome!
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Aww..my dog's a chow chow.
I don't know the breed very well, but if they're as sweet and smart as ours, I know which parent he got it from! What color is your dog? Ours is such a pretty shade of red that we call him our lucky penny. I posted a picture in my gallery!
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Thank you, GoldenEve! We got our new baby, Archie, yesterday and we are over the moon happy with him. He is absolutely beautiful, loving, and SO smart (7 months old and house trained, sits, stays, comes...). He looks like a dark red Golden Retriever but his mom was a pure bred Chow and they're not sure about the dad (but our pup is too small to be part golden) so we're thinking maybe Beagle? Doesn't matter, he's 100% sweet and we love him dearly!
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Thanks Epi...
A peculiar thing happened. After I blew up on Facebook at whomever was responsible, the rescue agency received another call the next day admitting that the call was made out of spite and anger, was untrue and that they regretted making the call because I was a good pet owner and deserved to adopt the pup. So they decided to go through with the adoption, although I can tell they are still skeptical. They're delivering him tomorrow so they can see where he will be living "just in case". I'm so confused, my sister swears she didn't make the call (I want to believe her but I'm not totally convinced) and the only other enemy I have (son's stepmother) would never do the right thing and call back. On one hand, I want to thank the caller for ultimately doing the right thing. On the other hand, I want to throttle the caller for putting my son and me through 24 hours of pure hell. I've never seen him look so sad as he did for the time period he thought we weren't getting our puppy and while you can do what you want to me (I'm used to it), you don't hurt my kid and get away with it. I just hope karma lets me watch!
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Things have been going well lately and my son and I decided to add to our family with another dog. I went to a rescue event on Sat. and fell in love with a mixed breed pup, took video of him to show my son, filled out an application, and hoped. Yesterday they contacted me with the wonderful news that we had been approved and as soon as the vet checked out our pup, we could make arrangements to pick him up. We were over the moon! I ordered name tags, collar, shirts, toys, etc. and couldn't wait and my son told all his friends about his new puppy.
Today I was contacted by the rescue agency again. It seems that they received an "anonymous" phone call, stating that we spent a lot of time at my dad's who did not approve of us adopting the pup (NOT TRUE, he gave us his blessing and even offered to pay part of the adoption fee to help us out) and that his home was unfit to bring a new pup into because his dogs weren't trained and the house was full of urine and feces (also not true, he has one dog who has accidents but he cleans up after her...he's 87 for crying out loud, it's not like he can walk the dogs 3 times a day like I do when I'm there). Because of this, they were denying us the adoption.
I was absolutely crushed...as was my son. The really sad part? I am 99.9% sure that the phone call came from my SISTER who has an ongoing feud with me over my dad's money which he has told her over and over again to mind her own business, taken her name off his account because of this, and defended me because of all I do to help. But she is so vindictive, she now cost us our puppy. She not only hurt me, but she hurt my son. UNFORGIVABLE!!!!
I've tried appealing to the agency, telling them it was a vindictive phone call and not true, to please call my dad and if they needed more references on how well I treat my furbabies, I could give them a dozen more phone numbers from people who really know me. Now I'm waiting to hear if they will reconsider, but it doesn't sound good.
Why? I can get a dog ANYWHERE and this is NOT going to stop me, but I try to do a good thing by rescuing a puppy who NEEDS a home and she does THIS??? HOW CAN FAMILY BE SO EVIL????
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I've tried a lot of supplements but not that one...I will have to check into it. Everything I have tried I think I've bought on Amazon, did you check if they have it there? I would like to do a little research myself as after a long period of doing well, I find myself slipping downhill a little lately and would love to find a natural pick me up (walking my dog and cats, yes my cats, I have a pet stroller...lol, for hours in the sunshine just doesn't do it anymore). The one supplement I do keep coming back to is L-theanine, mainly because when I run out, I always seem to feel more down. It may just be in my head but if it works, it's worth the $10 a month or so (I use only Calm-plex).
Please keep me posted if you do try this supplement and how it works for you...good luck!
Embarrassing question - night sweats
in Effexor (venlafaxine) / Pristiq (desvenlafaxine)
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I have had night sweats and a major intolerance to heat, lots of sweating, since a severe case of Legionnaire's almost 8 years ago. I'm sure being a woman over 50 isn't helping matters any either...lol!
I have been taking an herbal supplement for menopause, black cohosh, that has helped me tremendously at night (although I still find the need to keep it so cold in my room I can see my breath). It might be something to try. We're just getting into the warmer weather now in MN so it's sundresses and flipflops for me until October.
Hope you find something that helps, good luck to you!