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taysmom1016

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taysmom1016 last won the day on February 27 2013

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About taysmom1016

  • Birthday 04/19/1965

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    Female
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    My son, walking my dog and cats (in a stroller), shopping when I have money, garage sales and thrift stores looking for treasures to resell and furniture to repurpose.

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  1. I have had night sweats and a major intolerance to heat, lots of sweating, since a severe case of Legionnaire's almost 8 years ago. I'm sure being a woman over 50 isn't helping matters any either...lol! I have been taking an herbal supplement for menopause, black cohosh, that has helped me tremendously at night (although I still find the need to keep it so cold in my room I can see my breath). It might be something to try. We're just getting into the warmer weather now in MN so it's sundresses and flipflops for me until October. Hope you find something that helps, good luck to you!
  2. I'm glad you decided to reach out. I remember too, being caught in a dead-end job, in a factory, afraid to quit because I had 11 years seniority and benefits, vacation days, etc. until a serious car accident decided my fate. I could no longer sit for long periods of time that were required in a factory setting so I took a leap of faith, quit, and went back to school. It wasn't easy, but it was the best thing I ever did. That was a long time ago and I'm on disability now but that's another story...lol. Is there some way you could take some classes or training while still working as a teacher? I find what I call "treasure hunting" (buying things at garage sales and thrift stores) reselling online a great way to make extra income and it's fun too. I mean, come on, getting paid to SHOP? What's not to love? :D I hope you can reconnect with your old friends. I moved back to my hometown almost 6 years ago now and only recently have been putting myself out there, reacquainting and meeting new friends. I walk a lot, listening to music as I do, and it helps. I also have my painting and other crafts for distractions. I hope you find something to put a ray of sunshine back in your life, you deserve it. Coming here was a great first step. It saved me years ago and though I haven't visited the forum for a while, I decided to check in today...maybe it was just to talk to you! Best of luck to you, and remember, HOPE (Hold On, Pain Ends).
  3. Hi Kelly, I'm a 50-year-old single mom to one teenage son so I don't know how much help I can be in the relationship department since it's been years since I've been in one. Sometimes I think that may be part of my loneliness and depression, but now I can see there are 2 sides to everything. You say your husband comes from a happy family. Maybe it's just hard for him to understand depression as it is for anyone who has never "been there". I understand why you're feeling hurt and think couples counseling would be a great thing for you so a professional can help him understand what depression really is and not something you can just "snap out of". Even if you can't get in for a while, I'm sure it would be worth the wait. I'm glad you found the forum though, it's a great place to come and vent. There's even a relationship group where maybe you could talk to people who understand what you're going through better than a lonely old single woman..lol. I hope everything works out for you.
  4. I deal with a lot of female problems too, post Legionnaire's disease in 2008 that screwed up my whole system. I've thought of just having them take everything out so I wouldn't have to deal with that every month (I'm 50, had my only child, don't need it anymore). I'm afraid of the hormone imbalance also. I hope they find the right medication/therapy for you. I know it's not a cure all, but it helps. I try to force myself to do things I know I'm supposed to enjoy even though it feels like more of an effort tan anything else, but it does help in the long run. Take care.
  5. I alternate between jumping in my bed and watching anything home improvement on TV or taking my dogs and cats (yes cats, in a stroller) for a long, beautiful walk in the gorgeous little town we live in. I'm on a down slope this week, not sure why, but I've been more depressed and anxious than usual. Hopefully, this too shall pass. As for the youtube videos, I have a teenage son who is also having anxiety attacks (fortunately I've been honest so he knows what is happening). He too uses youtube to calm him. Whatever works....don't be ashamed.
  6. Welcome! I'm glad you found this forum, it can be so helpful talking to others who understand exactly what you are going through. I'm a single mom of a 14-year-old boy who has suffered from depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc. for years. I thought I had it under control but lately it has been rearing its ugly head. That's why I came back here today after a long absence and saw your post. Are you on medications? Seeking professional help? If not, I hope you will as no one has to suffer like this. I see my doctor in July and hopefully will get my meds adjusted or find another way to get back on the right road. Being a mom with depression is tough. My best advice is be as honest as you can with your kids, they understand more than you think. My son came into my room last night with an anxiety attack. Fortunately he knew what was happening and just needed mom (he slept on my bedroom floor). I know I'm all over the place here, but it's all part of the illness (feel free to read my profile). I hope you find this forum as helpful as I have over the past several years. There are a lot of groups I'm sure you can relate to and people are caring and do not judge. I hope things look up for you soon, for both of us. Good luck!
  7. Welcome! I'm a little late in that but this time of the year is keeping me busy...glad to have you here!
  8. Ignore them. If they don't understand, you don't need them. If I sound bitter, it's because I've been there...I'm STILL there. So called friends, even family members, don't believe what they don't see or understand and they don't know what it's like. I had an illness 6 years ago that left me with short term memory loss, increased pain, migraines, depression, anxiety, PTSD, insomnia...I could go on. One thing's for sure, I've found out who my real friends are (and it's usually the ones with problems of their own and know what I'm going through). Right after I moved into my home, my neighbor came out while I was mowing and said, "I'm surprised to see you mowing, I heard you were disabled." I bit my tongue so hard it actually bled (I have no intention of moving so I didn't want enemies behind me). So I took a deep breath and explained my illness to her and told her things that were none of her business. But I don't go out of my way to talk to her, when I'm shoveling my walk, I stop at their property line (as do they). My neighbors next door, the husband is on disability for diabetes. They mow my lawn when I'm gone in the summer, I mow theirs when I'm home. I shovel their walk, they shovel mine, share my internet...you get the idea. Find some like-minded people to bond with, or explain your situation to the friends you think will understand. This board is my stepping stone! Good luck!
  9. Sounds so familiar...4 years ago I was so depressed I couldn't eat and I lost 40 lbs. in 2 months (on top of the 30 I'd lost trying)...I actually looked like crap. After a brief hospitalization, it was determined that nothing was physically wrong with me, that I was suffering from depression and anxiety. I was put on mirtazipine specifically for it's appetite-enhancing qualities. I've long since regained all the weight I lost (and then some) and while my depression is still a daily battle, I'm in a much better place than I was 4 years ago. As I tell my son, I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and depressed. But it doesn't have to be one or the other, I've put on a little extra because of the weather and holidays but during the spring, summer and fall, I walk...a lot! I have 2 dogs and 3 cats (the cats love to ride in a pet stroller) and live in a beautiful small town with lots of trails and parks and I can keep it under control a little better. I even invested in a black Friday sale and got one of those fitness bracelets so I can track how much I walk when I start again...and when I figure out how to use the darn thing! I haven't been back to the forum in a while but with the weather and my sedentary lifestyle of late, I've been a little more down than usual so I came here hoping for a pick me up. It has helped, but what I really need to do is stop being a wus, bundle up and get out and walk despite the weather! Hopefully you can find a happy medium between medication and weight gain. Don't give up, there are some meds out there that don't come with that side effect. And if you can, try to exercise a little more, eat a little healthier and drink lots of water. Vitamins have helped me to, do a little research on vitamins and supplements that help with depression. With the gloomy weather, I've been doubling up on the D! Good luck!
  10. Will, I don't believe you are lazy, you are depressed and depression makes you lazy (trust me, I decorated my house for Christmas over a week ago and my empty tubs are still in my living room and my house is a mess). I think you're just feeling a little overwhelmed right now...it's been a while since I was in school but I can remember this time of the year being very rough. Take the holidays to rejuvenate, relax, reconnect with old friends, do things you enjoy and when you get back to school, hold your head up, smile at people and start back with a "can do" attitude. Even if it doesn't feel natural at first, find something you enjoy, go for a walk, listen to music. Don't depend on other people to make you happy because that usually leads to disappointment. I hope you'll feel better soon and don't feel bad about the rant, that's what this forum is for!
  11. Welcome to both of you...hope you make yourselves at home! Congrats on the new son, Justin! I'm a single mom but my son is slightly older...by 14 years.
  12. Hi Mleb43! I'm a 49-year-old single mom and know just what it's like to feel like you're only going on for the sake of your children. My son almost lost me when he was 7 from an illness and I won't do that to him again! It's sad for you that you have to live like this without being happy. Are there any organizations in your area where you can seek behavioral health help for free or on a sliding scale? Ask your doctor about that, it's the least he can do if he won't help (which doesn't say much for his hippocratic oath in my opinion). 4 years ago I was drowning...today, not so much! It wasn't a, wake up and HEY, I'M CURED, type of thing, it was a gradual, slow process with both medication, therapy and just finding something, ANYTHING to focus on (I love to refinish old furniture, make jewelry, walk my dogs and cats, yes cats, they have a stroller) and basically force yourself out of bed some days even though it hurts. Search the internet, there are some herbal supplements and vitamins that can help some people too (in addition to my prescriptions, I also take L-theanine, NAC, valerian root to help me sleep, and a butt load of vitamins (folic acid is a good one for women). I hope that you can find someone out there who will help. And I hope you will find as much support and therapy right here as I have over the past few years. I look forward to seeing you around!
  13. This is a great place to come for support, I think there is even a forum for people closer to your age, pretty much a forum for everything you can relate to...check them out and jump in where you feel comfortable. Welcome!
  14. Hi finj, welcome... Wow. You've been through it all and back, haven't you? I don't know if I can help, but I can empathize. I'm a single mom, 49, and my son has always been my priority. His dad and I never were a couple so I don't know what it's like to be stuck in a relationship because of the kids, but I was stuck in a loveless marriage when I was younger with no children. I will say that when I left and found my freedom, it was one of the happiest days of my life. As for my son, now, he knows I love him, I'm there for him, and even though his dad and I aren't together, we both love him and since most of his friends are also from single parent homes, it's the norm for him. I guess what I'm trying to say is that in order to be there for your children, you need to find yourself first. Please seek professional help and don't be afraid to tell them about your past because 1) it may have an effect on your future treatment and 2) I'm pretty sure that although pre-existing medical problems can have an effect on insurance, behavioral health records are strictly confidential unless you are a threat to yourself or others (listen to whom I'm telling, you're a lawyer, you probably know more about it than I do). I don't know how old your kids are, but the one thing I've always done is be honest with my son and even at a relatively young age, he understood (I almost died when he was 7 from Legionnaire's which I think may have resulted in neurological damage leading to my depression). We don't have your traditional 2 parent family but we like what we got. And I think if you can get the help you need to pull yourself out of this, your kids will appreciate you more for it. Do whatever you have to do...but I've been in the deepest, darkest of pits and managed to slowly climb out thanks to the help of medication, therapy, and support (this forum has been a Godsend). I hope you'll find the light at the end of your tunnel and hang out around here, it's a great place for support from people who know EXACTLY how you feel and you don't have to pretend to be fine. Good luck to you!
  15. Wow, I can so relate...I suffer PTSD and insomnia from a near fatal case of Legionnaire's 6 years ago and sleeping is the pits for me. And I was doing well for a while but lately my anxiety has been kicking into overdrive and I'm not sure why. Could be the weather getting cold and snowy alll of a sudden and not so muchc outdoor time. Do you find when you do sleep, you wake up with your heart racing in a panic? This is something else I've had to deal with. I just have to take a few deep breaths, collect my thoughts and tell myself this is only temporary and I will feel better in a little while. It's really hard to shut your mind off at night. That's why I miss walking, I used to exhaust myself physically which helped. I guess I'm just going to have to bundle up and tough it out. I did treat myself to a new down coat I'm picking up this weekend along with some new warm boots, maybe that will hel. If nothing else, at least shopping is therapeutic for me! I wish I had some words of wisdom to help. I try relaxing my arms, then my legs, then my whole body, little by little, concentrating on each part as I go and my breathing. If I still haven't relaxed, I count to 100 and then backwards down to 1. Just a few of my little tricks that might help. Good luck!
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