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Everything posted by sober4life

  1. The worst one is the COPD commercial with the wolf. It's so sickening. They are basically making fun of people that can't breathe and this is how they try to sell their product!
  2. I don't know. What it comes down to for me is I'm just too damaged from life I think. I've been through too much. Like I've said before I'm like a puzzle and every time I fall apart I put the pieces back together but another piece is gone each time. I think about half the pieces are missing at this point. It's a miracle I'm even able to function in society anymore.
  3. Nirvana, Soundgarden, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Amy Winehouse all summed up my life very well.
  4. The rabbits here almost let me get close enough to catch them.
  5. Music affects me more than anything. It's more powerful than any drug I've ever tried. I almost always have it on the entire day.
  6. I know how you feel. I feel the same way. My life keeps getting better as well but I never get better mentally. I could win the lottery and still feel like I'm at rock bottom emotionally. I'm like Kurt Cobain. I had a dream for myself but once I got there I decided I didn't like any of it. None of it made me any happier.
  7. I'm mostly just isolating now going into the darkness as far as a person can go. I've run from mom's death for long enough. If the sadness was meant to crush me and destroy me it will. I really don't care what happens anymore to be honest. I don't care if I have a happy ending because I don't deserve one.
  8. I've wasted my whole life. If you look at my life it looks like someone's life that drank and did drugs for 20 years. Even after I've sobered up it doesn't look much better.
  9. It's amazing what I do is considered life. You can take any random week from my life and say what the hell was that?
  10. I wouldn't do it. It's very likely it could lead to arguments or debates of some kind.
  11. That's the best news I've heard for a long time! I'm very happy for you!
  12. That's how I feel most days. It's paranoia mixed with true fear of people. I doubt I will ever fully trust anyone again. Every encounter with anyone I go into very suspicious and looking for reasons not to trust the person and I'm constantly trying to figure out what they are up to. I'm never happy to see anyone show up to my house. It's always an oh no they're here run for your lives!
  13. All I can say is I know how you feel. Everyone I have ever loved is dead now so I am alone in this world now and might always be alone in this world.
  14. 6 miles this morning. I'm running on fumes in life. I have a big opportunity coming up in life on August 5th and I'm willing to give it everything I have until then but things have to work out that day and I have to give it everything I have to make that day happen. If it doesn't work out all I see beyond that day is black.
  15. Seeing all the animals play outside in the yard. It's like I have about 100 pets but they all get to be free and happy out there.
  16. I feel great! 10 minutes from now growl and 10 minutes after that great again!
  17. Wait or just stop taking care of myself all together. I don't exercise because I want to live longer. If this is my life living longer is the last thing I want.
  18. I'm afraid of almost everyone most of the time. It's because I've been abused so much in life. I know how awful people can be so why would I expect others to be better. Even if they are better I don't want to risk someone hurting me again. There are good people and there are awful people capable of anything. Usually the monsters seem to find me and I'm sick of it. Yes I'm always on edge and resentful and bitter and angry all the time. This life has been a total nightmare so far!
  19. We didn't have air conditioning when I was a kid we had fans. Oh and dad didn't care if we had heat upstairs in our bedrooms. It was a 2 story house with no heat vents upstairs in the kids bedrooms. Half the time he would even put a board over the stairs to make sure no heat got upstairs during the winter.
  20. I'm always paranoid. I'll never trust anyone again. When it starts to get dark here my paranoia gets worse. My paranoia comes from true fear being alone here at the house because I fully expect someone to hurt me every day. I'm surprised when people are nice to me.
  21. It says the record high for your state is 110. 113 here in Ohio. It's supposed to get up to 95 here. I don't remember many 100 degree days here. I do remember mowing my grandma's grass before when it was over 100.
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