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sober4life

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Everything posted by sober4life

  1. The government has helped me with my paranoia though because I know they're not actually able to do anything. Do I think they can control the spin of the earth? I don't think most of them could even spin around the room without crashing through the living room window.
  2. I did my Christmas shopping. I cried when I saw a love to hug Elmo doll. What a wimp but I'm not paying 25 dollars for it!
  3. I don't think I've ever taken an antidepressant and nothing else. As far as antipsychotics risperdal and seroquel seem to be the 2 that really knock you out and put on massive amounts of weight. That's from my experience. Of course though if they are trying to make you not psychotic they are intending for these meds to calm you down. It affects people differently though. There's no for sure answer I can give you about this.
  4. Yeah we see automatic time change as something convenient for us though. The world likes doing that giving us a good reason they're doing things while hiding the bad reason they're doing things. Oh well they had access to all of our phones we say. They made it easier for us.
  5. I think time flies by during times like these because you don't really have much time to stop and think during these times. Every day is survival. When do I rest? When people see me posting here. Other than that I'm going full force in life just to keep my head above water in this life. I think time flies by when things are very good or very bad because of all the things that are there distracting us. Then of course there are the paranoid days when I think the government is able to speed up and slow down time for everyone.
  6. My bipolar disorder makes me enjoy vacation too much. 16 days I would probably get about 16 hours of sleep the whole time. I would be afraid of the crash when I got back. As for the holidays I will have family here for a whole week for Thanksgiving. It's why I had the breakdown because I basically agreed to it in a manic episode.
  7. I cut down the last tree I needed to cut down this year. It was one of those trees that if I asked someone to help me they would laugh so I did it myself. It went "well". The thing I didn't want it to hit it didn't hit it. I don't think there is a such thing as a good tree cutter. A good tree cutter is someone that hasn't been doing it long enough to have a really bad day.
  8. It will probably be overcast here until my birthday in March. Today it rained just enough all day to make you angry if you're outside in it.
  9. I think all of my pets were just as crazy as me. Having a dog that quacked like a duck was a dream come true for me.
  10. I've never been happy because I've never been good at this life but mainly it's because none of it makes sense. It's been a lifetime of saying why do people like this and why are we doing this. I'm not too hard on myself because it almost feels like I was never meant to do any of this. I fully believe others enjoy some of this but I was never meant for any of this.
  11. I think there used to be a difference in the seasons for me but honestly I'm pretty much the same all year at this point. I'm Oscar the Grouch waking up every day to prison because that's what this life is at this point. It has the feeling of being in prison for life with no hope ever.
  12. I think the nursing home experience does sound more appealing each day of this nightmare. You're going to dope me up to the point where I'm mostly just awake for meals and I can hide in my room all day and never have to worry about anyone stopping by to see me. Sign me up!
  13. There was a tornado that went through but It was about 5 miles south of here. So so so sick of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  14. I just got another tornado warning on the phone.
  15. American Horror Story It's as far out there as it's ever been this season but I can still see this being the true story of what happened. I wouldn't be surprised one bit.
  16. I say the same thing myself but I think we're people that have to have animals in our lives in some way to be happy. I know I'm not well. It's why I try to enjoy animals as much as I can on my walks. I'll be honest I can't guarantee any animal will have a happy life here. Anything that has legs and can get out of here I recommend it heads for the hills the first chance it gets.
  17. I'm not doing well. I should have taken that break before. I knew I needed it and I pushed beyond it and now I can barely think well enough to even type what I need to say. For what exactly? I'm going to the store in a little bit and I'm going to come back and have full rest until I have to do things on Monday and Tuesday. It's to the point where I have no choice at all.
  18. I don't know I think I had another nervous breakdown. What does that mean? It means I have to get better before anyone notices how bad I'm doing. It's all it means. They can't see me this way. I hate this life. Alone doesn't even begin to explain how I feel in the this life. I wish I was alone. I would do anything to be free of the people that endlessly hurt me.
  19. It is very hard @Nightjarsufferering like we are and feeling so alone in the world. The people in my life are either mostly absent or worse I feel like they would use my issues against me in some way.
  20. I know the people here want the best for me. I love everyone here. I just need rest. I will think this over over the next few days. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet to be honest.
  21. I walked to the lake and back today. My two favorite donkeys make me laugh. A branch fell down yesterday and they've been using it as a scratching post ever since. I always talk about how awful my life is those two say finally I can scratch my face after years of itching.
  22. I know how she feels. I'm done with people too. I've been thinking lately that there's probably something much more serious going on with me but I don't have any faith that I will be helped in any way. I've been through the ringer in this life. I felt like was going to fall over today. I've been having spells lately. I just don't care anymore. Being done with this nightmare would be a blessing.
  23. The Atkins diet saved my life for sure but it's very hard to do in today's world. Carbs are everywhere. Mom and I both did it together or I probably never would have done it. What I do now is more like Weight Watchers. I don't recommend any diet company that sends you their food through the mail. You'll find better tasting food in the cat bowl.
  24. I honestly never heard of him but I will check it out.
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