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Everything posted by sober4life

  1. All of life is like when we're in school. Nobody will care if you're sick or care whatsoever about your circumstances. It's this is what you should have done by now and this is what you should be doing right now at your age. Pass or fail like in school. So you're under more pressure when you're sick to keep up and everyone is always watching. The whole time you feel like a sick animal with the lions and hyenas constantly tracking you watching and waiting for the right opportunity to pounce.
  2. No it's not crazy. It's what I need to do. I still could have a landline here. I have the wiring already. I have a cheap flip phone. Even that is letting everyone know they can get ahold of me any time they want. There's nothing worse than that. A landline with no answering machine you can say oops I must have missed your call. What I want to hear you say is not only do I have a landline I have an old rotary phone. I found a Mickey Mouse rotary phone. That's what I need. There's 2 hook ups. I could get the Mickey Mouse phone and a Garfield the cat phone. Most people want to fit in. I want to be so strange people only come here once.
  3. Yeah I often wonder if this is hell or a coma dream after my last bad car crash.
  4. I was wondering why the mattress wasn't comfortable on my bed anymore. I looked and it said manufactured in 1996.
  5. I feel the same way. It's why I try not to do the self checkout. I was thinking yesterday though why is everything really backed up. Shortages aren't real. I think they're moving toward having everything online. They're trying to get us all used to waiting for things because in the future nobody will have anything until we actually order it. Many big stores have things they order every week but they also have things that sit on shelves for years. Businesses are getting sick of heating and cooling all of these buildings when they might not need to.
  6. The vendor might just be busy. You're like me though. You think he must be up to something. He might be. Everyone might be up to something or everything might work out perfectly. I know how you feel. I feel that way now with other things. I can't focus on anything. The only thing I hear is the constant stress about something in my head the whole time I'm awake and then I have nightmares about those things too.
  7. The pumas are probably there for the same reason they are here. They were probably released on purpose to control the deer population. All those other animals you mention won't hunt the deer. Before the pumas showed up with no other big animals there you must have seen deer everywhere you looked.
  8. Well it says they are rare but you could see a wallaby or a coati. Put out food. You never know what animals will show up. Do you really have wallabies?
  9. I dread everything too. Everything is hard to do. I don't want to be a part of life out there any more than I need to. Happiness for me is knowing I have a fox and a deer living on my property. I can see where they both stay from the windows.
  10. Yeah I would call twice a day this week. If I got no response from them this week next week I would be dressed like a bear or some mascot and I would talk to everyone that came to their office as a bear. I would be the crazy bear that sent all of their clients running for the hills.
  11. I think it is a panic attack I get every once in a while. That and ocular migraines. I'll never know. A lot of the time they'll say oh it's normal as you age to have those types of symptoms. People really don't tell you anything about what it's like to get older. You reach the peak in life the peak of the mountain and from there you tumble down the other side quickly.
  12. I just had a panic attack outside. It's as hard to save yourself as a blood sugar crash or maybe it was that. Who knows I'm sure someone would say oh you're just having a spell again and they would act irritated if I brought it up even though I could barely figure out how to get back in the house. I feel like @NightjarI'm alone in the world. There's been plenty of times where I felt like I was going to fall over and die since being on my own and I worried for a second and then shrugged my shoulders and said who cares?
  13. You're celebrating surviving a hurricane. Don't be so hard on yourself. All I care about is I'm glad to see you here with us.
  14. I miss him for sure. He saved my life. I'm sure he's very proud of both of us right now.
  15. I feel the same way except I don't think I can make banana bread. What it is for me is my mind doesn't want me to be content or relaxed. It doesn't really want me to enjoy life.
  16. Same weather here but here I saw a bird sitting up on the window looking in here watching me.
  17. It makes me sad but we're the same. Great days are days where we didn't have to see any of them. I can't live the rest of my life like this I know that.
  18. I agree. I would go to the office and make a scene for sure not because I would want to because I wouldn't be able to stop myself.
  19. The entire sky is orange at sunset. It was like that yesterday too.
  20. All this life is is hustling and bartering and begging for help. I'll do this for you if you do this for me and never thinking anything is going to work out. The more you have no choice but to do this the better the nursing home days sound where all I have to do is wake up for meals and watch jeopardy and just hang out.
  21. I take a lot of things for granted. How many times would I have been dead if it wasn't for the simple ingenious invention band aid? I'll say I know how @watalifefeels today. They saved me again.
  22. It makes me think of my brother. He's retiring from the military next summer as what they consider fully disabled so he'll get a full pension. The more they injure you or disable you the more they pay you because they're paying you not to tell your story.
  23. Yes it's hooked up and for emergency power. This is an area where when it snows they might clear the roads or they might not. It's dangerous to live here in the winter without a generator. All my neighbors have them too.
  24. I wish I learned more when I was younger so I didn't have to learn it all at once. I would like to learn in a school setting as well but learning in this situation is finding a disaster and finding my way out of it by winging it. I wish I could go back and do my life differently. I would go to school for plumbing, electrical work and heating and cooling and save up money to get an old phone truck so I could use it to cut down trees. I would be rich around here if I was an expert at all of those things.
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