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Everything posted by sober4life

  1. I'm like that too looking for the dropoff during happy times. Sometimes I'm like Al Bundy where I actually begin to get afraid when things are going well. What's going to happen to even things out I think.
  2. I understand being nervous. I'm nervous around most people in real life. I'm never nervous here. Everyone is accepted and treated well here. This place is a very peaceful loving place.
  3. Wow in Oregon there are mushrooms called Armillaria ostoyae. Some of the mushrooms might acually be big enough to make a real mushroom house like the smurfs. This is the happiest day of my life! There is real hope for a real mushroom house for the yard!
  4. The answer is to probably cut her out of your life. I have a parent like that and even if we are able to forgive they hurt us every time we're around them. That's what they do to everyone over and over. The right tough choice for you and me is to forgive forget and say goodbye and walk away for good. Why should we have to forgive more and more things? Of course there will be more things the longer we stick around.
  5. I pulled down trees. The one almost hit a building and it would have if it didn't hit another tree in the way. That's the excitement of it. People that don't really know what they're doing taking the risk of cutting down trees because they're too cheap to pay professionals. It's a rush though.
  6. I'm already angry and bitter at 40. I know what's coming and I fully expect to choose my last day to avoid being used and abused at the end. I will stay as long as I'm able to do the things I want to do and not a second more.
  7. I understand how you feel. Everything I've done for as long as I can remember is to distract me from a life I've always hated and a world where I've never fit in. I have a permant disgusted look on my face. I had to get my driver's license recently and I ended up having to get it a second time because I didn't get the compliant license and I made the "joke" with the woman there that I looked mean in both pictures.
  8. It said 60 degrees on my car thermometer when I got in at lunch. I would say the car must have been sitting in the sun but what sun? There's no way it was 60!
  9. When I was cutting down trees today I saw that easter lillies were starting to grow. That's one of the first signs of spring so soon I'll be happy to see the spring birds and soon I'll be complaining about having to mow the grass.
  10. I feel the same way but I live in constant fear. No matter what has to be done I have to drink enough coffee to get myself through it. For someone with my condition I'm one bad day from being put away forever. I have to perform like I'm some circus animal being forced to do it. My life absolutely depends on it. It's like a case for the judge is constantly forming and I can't give the people around me anything to use against me.
  11. I used to be a avid weight lifter as well. The reason I got away from it is because it brings back memories of abuse. I had to bulk up to protect myself against bullies. I never enjoyed it. I felt I had to do it. I enjoy walking and running but I haven't been in good enough shape to run for a long time.
  12. Blue cardinals and red cardinals still winter time birds.😒Yes I still love them but it's time for them to call their robin friends and get them here right now!
  13. Shaggy and Scooby were the best heroes of all time. In a time where they couldn't say cartoon characters were stoned a stoned man and and a stoned dog that only ever cared about looking for munchies every moment somehow ended up saving the day every time. Those are real heroes.
  14. I haven't been able to exercise. Today I'm going to be pulling down trees with ropes. I love doing that and I would count cutting down trees as exercise.
  15. Well I have a fake smile and I'm laughing manically because of the caffeine I need to get me going this morning so I'm smiling and laughing how could that be a bad thing?
  16. I can tell I'm not going to get any sleep. I can't scream loud enough how much I hate this life!
  17. The crust at Domino's is terrible too. Out of those 3 choices Pizza Hut tastes the best but it's like eating at Taco Bell. You always wonder what is in this food that makes you rush to the bathroom right after every time.
  18. I don't really have good days either. My manic days are just desperate days. The bad days are days drowning in the ocean. The good days are me jumping up with all of my stength trying to gasp for air and for some stupid reason try to survive this nightmare.
  19. Make homemade pizza. Of course it's hard work but tons better than Domino's. I'm surprised they are still in business they are so awful.
  20. My family completely abandoned me and mom. When she got sick 2 years ago mom told me to to call them when she was rushed out of here and I was surprised anyone showed up. None of them love me. I probably hold the record for most times asked if I've set up a will yet.
  21. Every evening I sit here crying alone until I can't take it anymore and then I go to bed. It's going to be this way until I lose my mind completely or die.
  22. I think it is that plus the fact that for many years we went after things that made us feel better that had no real substance behind them. Every time we felt bad we went for the drugs. Take them away and we have no idea what real life experiences we enjoy and we have no idea who we really are.
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