sober4life

Days of Our Lives It's funny Stefano is supposed to be the most powerful character on the show and he's staying in a room where everything looks so cheap he could have furnished the room with things he got out of a dumpster.

I'm in constant emotional pain. I never feel happy or even content. I'm always restless and miserable and I hate every moment of this life. That's pretty much been the theme every day so far.

I stopped doing Facebook a long time ago. All it is is a place where everyone can brag about how great their lives are and most of it is lies or at least an exaggeration. I've always been the town idiot in every town I've ever lived. There's never been anything good to say about my life.

5 miles on the treadmill. The butterflies have been gone for a while but I did see a red cardinal today.

I'm a tell it like it is person and everything @PraiseBrownies has said about him he was abusive towards her and neglectful and it seemed like she had to change everything about herself to please him and he still wasn't satisfied. She's a wonderful person and everything she has had to go through with her parents and her fiance makes me angry!

At a reunion they don't ask me questions. There have been times I've gone to family reunions without saying a word to them the whole time. They don't care how I'm doing. They will make me feel guilty if I don't show up. This year at 40 was the first time I even hugged grandma and she has never told me she loved me ever. This is how a lot of my family is. People don't even know we're related unless we mention it.

Mike Tyson Mysteries

I want death!

If this was a good world finding out whatever our diagnosis is would be a good thing because we could finally get better but this isn't a good world. I've lived in constant fear ever since the day I got my Schizophrenia diagnosis at 17.

The Voice Out of the final 4 I know who will win from watching every season so far. Should that person win no but I know it will happen.

Exercise was what really helped me with my OCD especially cardiovascular exercise. That's something that actually works. It is a big help for anxiety which is what fuels this nightmare. Our mind thinks the rituals help but in reality it just keeps stringing us along. The rituals never end and never really calm our minds.

5 miles on the treadmill. I changed my plans to a point. I could pretend I know how things will go with this the rest of the month and say I have an iron clad plan but we know better.

It's a miracle I'm able to still keep going through this. My one dog passed away shortly after mom did. Mom passed away in November and he passed away in December so until about June or July I would come home and open the car door and still hear the dog barking and welcoming me home and I'd come home and sit on the couch and relive mom's last day hearing her screaming in pain from her bedroom. Yes I'm sure I want to ask for help for those things in this world. If I didn't have PTSD before all of this I sure do now and family certainly helped that along as well.

At a time when I needed them most they have put me through more hell than I can imagine. I used to think it was me against the world. Now I know it's me against the world. The only things I can trust are the animals and even they make me wonder sometimes.

It drives me nuts when certain people always seem to have the volume on their tv really low. They're not always talking. Sometimes they are just sitting there watching the show and I know there is no way in this world they can hear it!