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About sarahbeth24

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  1. Think I am close to a breakdown

    Ive been moved pillar to post only to end up beingtreated badly by a bunch of people like neighbours, council staff and my dad and I got home and done my back in, became unwell and cant stay hydrated. I managed 2 bottles of volvic water the 1.5l in 4 days and I just dont want to eat or drink. I have asked my therapist if I can see her in the next few days. This world feels very cruel at times. I couldn't live with myself if i treated people as badly as they have treated me.
  2. I am crashed out on the bed with a panic attack and I feel like I can't hold it all together, I feel like my whole world is closing in on me and that everything I had is changed and I can't cope. I threw things away that I was going to use to harm myself as I know now that I would act on it. I feel under to much pressure and I feel like I'm sinking. people really keep trying to make my life not worth living.
  3. not very supportive

    I feel pretty low, I got up and went out to sort out dinner, walked eown the dark alley way to go for fish and chips and I started shaking and felt low and my partner decided to ignore the part of my message about how I was struggling and decided to concentrate on the word food and ignore the rest of my message. I want to find somewhere to live that's stable and I am considering going to the council tomorrow. i can't keep moving and living out of bags and not having much support. I do have a therapist and might ask to talk to her. I have a psychological assessment Monday, but it's just for the solicitor, the NHS don't want to know. I could also go and see the doctors by my dads. I feel close to crisis and I got things to do that I can't cope with.
  4. I said to my partner that I just can't handle a relationship with how broken I am but she just doesn't the understand. last night I was in crisis and I just wanted hospital but was told I don't need hospital and that we don't want to end up there. I was shaking and I was physically ill because of my PTSD and I couldn't cope but my partner just decided to go to sleep and leave me to deal with it, I just felt like I was gojny mad and cracking up
  5. I just Don't know what to feel

    Firstly it was a typo I don't approve of cheating, my partner isn't very romantic. My partner said that if things don't work out between with intimacy that she wouldn't make me go without, just as long as I talk to her first. i don't know how that would make me feel, but to be honest if I don't address this issue then somewhere down the line I will be old and life will have past a by and I am not ok with never being intimate, I've talked to my partner and we talked and first we are going to try and see a doctor re her low sex drive and if things don't change then we will try and work together. I was scared when I talked to her because I didn't know how she would react but she says she's fine. I want thins between us to work out, I just can't live without intimacy In our relationship.
  6. I just Don't know what to feel

    I don't see why not? many people have suggested this and therapist said it's more acceptable in today's society. Idealy I would love a relationship which includes everything but I wouldn't know where to begin to find such a relationship.
  7. I just Don't know what to feel

    Yes I am unlucky but the landlord at the caravan park really wasn't my fault. The landlord I had in the previous places I never had issues with
  8. I just Don't know what to feel

    I was dancing with another woman and she kept hugging me, someone took offense to that and started saying hateful things. I called the police because if this as its unlawful, the landlord came over and started shouting because the police where here and he said I am diguesting and that I had until Wednesday to leave and he ranted about how no one should call the police. i pointed out to him that what he was doing is discrimination and he then got mad and said right your out today. i am financially independent, just I have no where to go and no references and not enough money to pay rent and eat. i don't know what I want out of life other than to be happy and to be intimate with someone. my therapist suggested a open relationship and aslo said I should take time to process what had happened last weekend
  9. I just Don't know what to feel

    I have been thrown out by the landlord for dancing with another woman, he said I am disgusting. it hurts like hell but I was afraid of loosing my new friend, so I left her my number on her front porch and by some miracle the dogs didn't chew it up and we are going to stay in touch. the guy who shouted hate speech at me smirked as we where packing the car up. i made a promise to another friend that I am going to try and find some enjoyment out of my life, mum wanted me to be happy god bless her soul and I will find that happiness no matter who it's with. ive for relationship issues, if I can't get through those I will leave even if it means I end up with no where to live. i want to get over my depression etc and I want to be happy 😊 what means everything to me is that I am staying in touch and being friends with my new friend from the bar, if I didn't leave her my number I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. this world is cruel but there are kind people which makes up for the bad in this world
  10. I am Being evicted

    I've managed to find a place for a week, then I will weigh up my legal options but right now I feel close to having a nervous breakdown and I am scared that's going to happen. the stress is turning my skin bad from eczema, it's impacting my sleep and tummy and I can't cope with packing or trying to do anything I feel like I'm having a funny turn.
  11. No GP where do I turn?

    If you don't need A&E then I would say go to the walk in center is the quickest way of seeing a doctor, most places in the city have them and these days are usually close to a GP surgery. Just a though
  12. I am Being evicted

    I am a lesbian and I had to call the police to a hate crime against me, my friend was sticking up for me when the guy was being abusive and he tried to attack her and he said awful things about me, I called the police and things where starting to escalate. it was our neighbor who was abusing me and my friend, today the landlord comes over and said he will be back in two hours and wanted to talk to us both. I took my tape recorder and waited for him to return and I taped the whole thing. basically he is evicting me for being a lesbian and reporting a hate crime against me, he ranted about how no one round here should call the police and he was ranting about how our neighbor just got out of jail on license and how that I put the neighbor at risk of going back to prison. He said there was nothing wrong with what the neighbor did and he gave us three days to leave, he then changed it to tomorrow when I said that what he was doing is discrimination and unlawful. ive found somewhere else for a week but I am mortified and hurt and my mood is very low. The police committee that I attend tell anyone who is LGBT to call the police for hate crime and then I get punished for it.
  13. I just Don't know what to feel

    I feel smitten and I just want to run to her in to her arms and hold her
  14. I just Don't know what to feel

    That's why I want to be friends and get to know her first but who knows maybe we will be good friends or maybe more I don't know