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sarahbeth24

Advanced Member
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About sarahbeth24

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    Advanced Member

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    UK

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  1. sarahbeth24

    Hurt by tram

    I stumbled out of bed to get yo the post office and to save time I got on the tram and it was only 1 stop but the tram driver didn't slow down, coming in to the stop and then a motorbike can a red light, nearly hit the tram, the driver slammed on the breaks and I literally went flying and by some miracle I managed grab the hand rail and I jolted my back I've felt shaken and low since, it was a year or so ago there was a major tram crash and people got killed going to the same stop and I don't feel the tram is safe so I'm never getting on one again. There's nothing to stop people from being thrown around like toys and if you hit the pole at force it would main you I don't have any reserves left so I'm sat here with a root alcohol listing to music trying to calm myself down Bad things happen daily lately and I don't know what I've done to deserve them keep happening. The one nice thing that happened today was that I found a carved dark wood bowl with animals on, in the charity shop and I got it as a gift for my partner so we can have something nice for our new home I guess trying to see a positive in the day helps but I Dunno
  2. sarahbeth24

    I hate people

    I've had enough of people on facebook I sell stuff on facebook market place and I've been messed around and have to out up with all kinds of crap from sexist remarks to idiots and tonight a man came he seemed nice, he wanted to test my phone and he typed *#06# which wouldn't work on this particular phone to bring up the imei, then he starts accusing me of having a dodgy phone and saying it's illegal and I've ***ing had enough Then tonight A man sees my legs in the photo of the laptop and starts on about how sexy my legs are and I just had enough, then a storm broke out, full thunder and lightning and I had to walk back in it, got wet and cut my foot and I had enough so much that I kept hitting my front door in anger I don't want people any more I just want to go missing and take a tent and never look back I don't like life and I've done nothing to keep getting this agrovationall the time, the nasty man even broke my screen protector and they cost £10
  3. sarahbeth24

    Targeted

    A bit of an update, CloudFlare have given me the web hosting company details, they are hosting it in Iceland so I’m pretty screwed however they use the same web hosting company as I do so I have contacted them via support ticket and expressed my discontent and said that I am considering leaving them. one positive thing is that Iceland is in the EU and the Police can request information form EU countries so they can find out who is behind it.
  4. sarahbeth24

    Targeted

    I wish, they have domain privacy and the privacy company are being obstructive, they did tell me the host was CloudFlare but I contacted CloudFlare who are also being obstructive i know the hate group who is behind it but again they conceal their identities this didn’t come from DF, it came from social media. I have the police visiting today and I am hoping they will do something. I am too ill to battle a hate group on my own and they are very nasty and dangerous people once they post someone’s information then you get targeted by their followers ive lost a lot of sleep including tonight and the only way I see out of this is to fight to get the images removed under copyright, get google to forget me and then to change my name. I don’t really need this, anyone can host a dot com, pay for privacy and use WordPress and these companies protect their customers and they can do what they like, it’s disgusting to be honest. all I did was stand up to a group who were bullying me and I become a target, the old me would have been well enough to do something about it, but life now is just about survival. I am having to deal no sleep, sorting out this place and not knowing if someone is going to come to harm me because they know where I live. Ive lost 3 days to this and today’s a write off because the appointment with the police is several hours long and they will probably send someone who doesn’t have a clue about lgbt issues and you have to explain to them what happened and why it’s wrong and show them the evidence etc of they catch who is behind it, it will go to court and I will have to show up and I expect their hateful followers will show up in the masses to protest and it’s a mess I never asked for any of this but your dealing with heartless nasty people and it’s seemed to worsen since Brexit and trump got in power and times don’t feel safe anymore
  5. sarahbeth24

    Targeted

    My full name, address ,sexuality they accused me of being a violent criminal which is untrue They posted my photograph and it was done to harass me because of my sexuality so I have reported it to the police as a hate crime
  6. sarahbeth24

    Targeted

    It's where they post your personal information,and where you live online
  7. sarahbeth24

    Targeted

    I have been targeted by a group online and I found out I've been doxed I have the cops coming Wednesday because it was targeted and hate related so I just had enough The cowards hide behind domain privacy and I just haven't slept I am going to bury my identity, also get Google to forget me under the new eu rules. I just don't know how to cope with something like this
  8. sarahbeth24

    Moving forward

    Given that I struggle to do anything other than sleep I don’t know how but we are moving far away from the city but I don’t feel well enough to pack. Ive been under so much stress and I am still grieving, but I don’t know if it’s the stress coming out that making me sleep and sleep but my dreams and filled with dreams of my mum and also some nightmares too. I know that moving is a part of my recovery but I find it scary that this is my future and the rest of my life and I fear it because someone day I will be alone in a place where I know, nobody. The age difference between my partner and myself is about 20 ish years and I am scared of losing everyone that I know and care about, my family is getting thin because I lost my man, my mum, my uncle and I don’t have much contact with distant relatives although maybe I should try. It’s like all my insecurities are coming out now I know what we are leaving this crappy place I don’t know if I will ever have a normal life and I can’t have children of my own but that’s my fault, but I never wanted to bring life in a world that I feel alienated from and a world where they may suffer and go through the bullying and the torment that I went through because of nasty people. its almost as if I know my fate is to grow old and die there and I don’t know how to process that. I’ve hardly spoken to my dad all week because I’ve slept and slept and he wants to go on a road trip to our new home because he is going to help us fix the place up, it’s going to be 12 hours in the car with breaks but I’m not sure if I can cope with that but I will try my best because dad wants a road trip. I know that mum would not be happy about a road trip because of dad driving all that way but dad didn’t want to fly and I will be going so that I can make sure he is ok and has company and I am not gonna let him drive back on his own. I will come back with him, sleep over on the sofa and then go back to our old home to finish packing and get the boxes on to the van. i would like to get a pet when we move, our new home is small but on the ground floor but It’s ours and we won’t have to deal with a nasty landlord anymore. We were lucky finding a home so cheap that needed renovation otherwise we would be forced to rent or live in a flat which is ok but the noise in this flat from noisy neighbours drives me mad.
  9. sarahbeth24

    Why can't we just be friends

    Can you change the username on ps4 account? Or would I need a new one
  10. I am a gamer and saved up for a ps4 and everyone is so friendly but after about a day or two of making new friends I just feel like I'm being hit on all the time by guys. One guy by the end of the evening gave me his number. Other guys keep wanting me to buy a microphone so I can talk to them and I feel low because I just want to make friends and play in the game and not get personal but every man just keeps making advances towards me it's like my other friend from Italy he wants to visit me and fly over and I've known him off a week if that and I just don't know why we just can't be friends and why I feel like it's ground hog day where I have to explain that I don't want a relationship I just want to play games and enjoy playing games. I don't know how to handle unwanted attention and I just found a group of friends and it's making a difference to my online gaming and I feel that I am going to loose that because one of the guys is hitting on me and if we don't get on I'm the one who will be outcast from the group because they all know each other longer and I've done nothing wrong
  11. sarahbeth24

    Quit

    I quit taking zoloft, after a few weeks because I was getting strange pains in my head and tintinus and just felt weird so the doctor said I could stop It's out me off wanting to try these type of drugs
  12. sarahbeth24

    Meds effecting mood

    I don't know much about things but after my operation I was put on estrogen and I struggle to have to take or do anything daily so I forgot to take them for a month and started taking them again two days ago and I don't know if it's a coincidence but since then i keep having dark moods, really severe depression to the point where I feel close to crisis. Maybe I should talk to my doctor but today and yesterday just trying to make it through the day is difficult and I worry about taking them because if the cancer warnings all over the patient information leaflet, the thought of being dependant on them until I am old is scary I could barely function today I stumbled in to the house when I got in, stumbled out of bed to order pizza and even that was to much because I couldn't concentrate and I felt dizzy but it could be the heat I don't know if this will subside once my hormone levels are stable again but I just feel like it's difficult to survive when you have these awful moods thay are so dark and so negative that nothing seems to shift them. Yes I suffer from depression but I cope but not for the past several days it's just been worse than usual
  13. sarahbeth24

    Struggling and getting worse

    I see a therapist but she doesn't say much it's more of me to it the talking. We are supposed to be moving soon, maybe I will find a new one when we move
  14. sarahbeth24

    Struggling and getting worse

    I keep coming over with the shakes or jitters and when I eat, it subsides but after I eat I get sleepy and the truth is we are not eating properly because the cooker is ducked and the landlord won't replace or repair anything I cant look after myself and my partner is getting worse and worse and we had to call the ambulance the other day and we both not getting any help and things are spiralling downwards. I want to leave or at least I do when I'm depressed because I can't cope with myself or other people, I get crap from people every day, like the bully who hosts my website has for the past 6 months harassed me when I've done nothing wrong, all my partner does is either lay in bed or sleep all day every day and I feel like I've got nothing left to keep me going I feel like I am as good as being on my own because dad won't help, he says he will do things but doesn't, but he will for other people Maybe I should just day stuff it and pack a bag and leave in the middle of the night and travel and live outdoors in the wilderness, away from people, away from everything
  15. sarahbeth24

    Sumting wrong

    I had enough of stupid people, I was walking home from therapy and some scumbag threw three Starbucks drunks at me, they thread them from the top story of a Carpark and only just missed me I called the police and the told me to wait there and that they may take 2 yours to come and told me to bag the drunks containers An hour passes nothing so I grabbed a policemen who was walking by and explained to him what happened and he said to go home and let the police know so I did and I am in agony with my joints from standing there with no seat for an hour and then the police when I spoke to them on the phone they said that there is no law against throwing drinks containers full of ice at people. My jaw dropped. they said it would have needed to hit me to be a crime, if a large Starbucks ice frap had hit me from off the top of a 6 story buildjng I doubt I would be speaking to them. the stupid thing is the drinks containers had the scumbags name on it and a time / date stamp and it was ordered online. i just don’t know what the f is wrong with people
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