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About camilo

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    Diagnosed at 21.Plan to go back on meds and stick with them forever. It has taken me 25 years for that to sink in. Denial is very powerful.

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  1. My relapses are triggered whenever I get bad news. I'm curious as to how people's relapses are triggered, or do they just come on for you inexplicably?
  2. Worn out. I am tired of being strong.
  3. My relapses are triggered whenever I get bad news. I'm curious as to how people's relapses are triggered, or do they just come on for you inexplicably?
  4. Yes. Bad as its ever been in the past. People contact is my number 1 tool in riding through a bad spell. Most difficult part is trying to stay focused on work from home. All I want to do is follow the news and read posts about depression.
  5. I feel the same. People contact has always been my most potent tool in coping.
  6. I see what you're saying. But I would not want anyone to even remotely experience the hell of a depressive episode. This virus has really put me in a black hole, its hard to move. I don't know how to hold up not being able to be in contact with people, which was my greatest tool in coping.
  7. I am 50 and have never married due to fear and panic when approaching commitment. Sometimes I think being married would have kept me out of depression, or at least helped. What is your experience please?
  8. I love the colors of Valentines Day. And it bring back good memories of exchanging Valentines in grade school.
  9. I did 33 sessions of TMS and it did not work for me. But everyone is different. I think some of the best advice I got on here is there's no magic bullet.
  10. I go for a massage. My therapist reminded me of how hard I've worked over the years to deal with depression. That was a good reminder that I've taken many steps-- medication, TMS, Onsite retreat, life coach, education-- to show that I care enough to try and get better.
  11. I'm the same way. I'm glad you wrote this because it is a good reminder to make an attempt to change my habit. I've made the decision to disengage from public Facebooking. That's where a lot of my negativity comes out. I've made that promise to myself before only to go back to it when I'm starting to feel "better." Our behaviors are so strong. Thank you.
  12. Just here to say that I feel the same. I am 49, and have never had a committed relationship. I have ended many relationships with wonderful women due to paralyzing anxiety, fight or flight response, when things start to progress towards long term commitment. I don't know if it's the fear of losing them, an aspect of depression, or commitment phobia. Maybe some of all three.
  13. Wonderful. I employ most of these too. Thank you for sharing.
  14. Johns Hopkins supposed to have results on its efficacy for depression in December 2020.
  15. camilo


    Did 33 treatments and little to no effect for me
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