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Everything posted by Luis

  1. You can message me, if you'd like. That's perhaps the easiest thing to address, out of the things you listed. I will listen to you and respond as much as you'd like, and I am sure there are others here that feel the same way and are willing to help in that manner.
  2. I second this. I want to work on this as well. It's been too long, for me. The worst part is, I still have to see one of my exes, having moved on and been in at least three relationships since being with me. Her current boyfriend is one of my managers at work, and I have to pretend everything is cool.
  3. I always wonder what people born on these certain days feel: February 29, December 24, December 25, December 31. February 29 doesn't occur every year, and during the latter two days, it seems like people are more concerned about the following day than taking the time to enjoy life on the day they are actually still in the process of living. If that makes sense. For example, on the 24th, procrastinators spend their time buying presents for the following day, rather than enjoying the 24th for what it is. And whilst people born on Christmas Day celebrate their birthdays, everyone else is celebrating something else. Idk, I think I'd feel ignored, or something.
  4. Thanks to all that responded. I took the time to think about it, and I have decided on filing for bankruptcy. I don't exactly know how to go about it, but I'll figure it out. I am tired of working to pay off creditors. My job is a really lousy one, but if I had zero debt, I'd have $800-1400 per month. That's mind-boggling to me. And the prospect of keeping that money after I file is very exciting to me. It will destroy my credit, but it's not like I have stellar credit at the moment, anyway, so I have nothing to lose.
  5. I was accused by a customer at work of having stolen her credit card. She claimed we were the last store she used it at, and since I was one of the two people working drive thru when she passed by and she later couldn't find it, she assumed I was probably the one that stole it. She probably just lost it. I didn't and don't appreciate my integrity being questioned.
  6. I am 26, and have never tried alcohol. Not even so much as a sip, despite that I've been struggling with depression since I was at least 17, and have been legally able to purchase alcohol for a handful of years now. I don't know, something seems illogical about resorting to alcohol to fix depression.
  7. I have massive debts, and the debt relief agency that I am working with expects me to pay $527 every month to them, so they can use it to pay off my creditors, after they negotiate with them to bring in some settlements. I can't do that because I don't make enough money on a consistent basis. Two paychecks ago, I made $710, but this past pay period, I made $450. I can't afford books for school, and I've been cut off from financial aid because I spent too much time without progressing. So, I won't be going to school this semester. The way I see it, I need a better job, so I could make more money, so I could pay off the $527 per month. But all I have is five years experience in food service, which, if it paid enough, I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. I wish I could have an office job or something, with pay well over the minimum ($12 per hour here) and benefits, but I haven't had office experience since 2011. And I could volunteer in an office, but I don't have time for that, because I have to be available to work as often as possible, so that I could make as much money as possible! If I cut back on my work availability, all that does is guarantee me fewer shifts and less money, when I need the exact opposite! I suppose I could try to get a second job, and work at two fast food places, but having no days off would seriously make me go insane. I've tried that before, and I quit the second job pretty quickly. I already hate my job as it is, and if I've stuck with it, it's out of necessity, not out of love for what I do. Doing it 7 nights per week would make me mad. It feels like I'm stuck in an endless cycle. The only thing I can think of to do is cancel the agreement I have with the agency, thereby saving myself from having to pay them anything per month, and then just accept that I'll have a massive debt that will follow me still. I will simply ignore the debt for a while, and use the money I get paid to pay things off that need immediate attention. Then I'll pay my debts off later, at my own pace. Unless I strike it rich or find another agency that can help, this will take me my entire life. It's an extremely depressing and debilitating thought, to think that I'll be working for years, to pay off creditors, instead of to have money for myself. I've become exasperated and exhausted by these thoughts, thinking every which way about what I could do to make this problem go away. It has set my life back by years, but that's the least of my worries right now. I am just trying to remain calm, whilst I devise a plan to liberate myself of this.
  8. Why would you torture yourself by comparing yourself to your contemporaries? Even the most successful person has problems in their life. Just remember that. There are plenty of people that I wish I were like, who have jobs I wish I had, or made the amount of money I wish I made, but I know they have problems of their own. Because everyone has problems. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday, and if you don't like where are you are that day, then make a change.
  9. I have been battling insomnia for a very long time. It kind of reached a head over the new year's celebrations. I used to go to sleep between 4 and 6am, and wake up between noon and 2p. Now I get sleepy around 7pm, super sleepy around 11pm or midnight, and crash without too much struggle as soon as I get on my bed, which is typically between 12am and 2am. And I now awaken between 7am and 10am. What changed? Well, I fancy myself as a "super crew member" at work, since I can do just about any position. And that being the case, management takes advantage and schedules me as needed, whether it's during the day or during the evening. At one point I needed to wake up really early to work a day shift after a night shift. I worked that shift, and when I came back home, I crashed. I crashed a couple of more times in the following early evenings, until finally sleeping at a "normal" time!
  10. I think it's very possible that those of us born in the 1990s could be living in a time when we could potentially be living into our 110s and 120s, assuming decent to great health, as well as some luck. Or at the very least, I read somewhere that the reason why the retirement age is 65 is because when it was first instituted, the average life expectancy was 63. In other words, the government didn't expect people to live long enough to retire. That being the case, with the life expectancy being at about 80 now, on average, I wouldn't be surprised if that average rose further, to 100 or more. I, too, get depressed about aging. Every year, right around my birthday, I fall into a huge depressive funk. The last two years, though, I have actively combatted that funk by taking time off from work and making plans for myself around that time. Instead of dreading "getting another year closer to death," I try to cherish and appreciate the fact that my brother, sister-in-law, and best friend typically see me that day, and celebrate my existence. Just the thought that they care enough to acknowledge, let alone celebrate, my existence is touching.
  11. Wouldn't it be better to let the hypothetical people that you meet decide whether you have anything to "offer" them?
  12. Looks and body matter to me to the extent that I like how certain girls look more than how certain others look. That's it. I suppose, if I had options, I would use my preferences to decide, but as it stands, I don't exactly have girls lining up to date me, so I wouldn't really decline any girl that was into me and wanted to date me. Even if they don't look like the girls I generally prefer, I know from experience it's possible to grow to become smitten with someone, even if one doesn't feel anything for them at first. These days I am living by the life motto, "Live fearlessly." I am at a point in my life where the worst thing that can happen if someone I like rejects me is that they reject me. On the other hand, if they don't reject me, something magical could potentially happen. One will never know if they live in fear. In order to lessen the sting of rejection, there's nothing wrong with leaving hints first, or asking around, to see if others can get answers for you first, just in case. But still, even if you just went for it and asked, and were rejected, the sting of rejection goes away. Finally, just keep in mind that even the most beautiful of the world, Hollywood actors and actresses (by virtue of media consensus, not any objective measurement), all insist they have flaws that they are self-conscious about. Everyone has thinks they don't like about their body. You are not alone in disliking thick thighs, cellulite, or anything else that you dislike about yourself. I recommend you just be brave, dress nice, do what makes you feel good, and own yourself. Confidence helps.
  13. I've only been involved with two women in my life, and the first one was with me at a time when I didn't consider myself depressed. However, her breakup with me was the first reason why I ever went into a depressive episode. That episode, in a sense, never ended, even ten years later. The second woman I was with was even more depressive than I. She was diagnosed with it (I never have been), and prescribed pills. I guess what I am trying to say is that, for me, this was never really a problem. The second woman and I related to each other as a result of our respective depression, and I never thought of it as something that defined her existence. My humble opinion is that honesty is always the best policy, so don't hide it, but also don't rush this information at the person. This is kind of a "when I know you well" thing to say.
  14. Assuming you consider it a bad thing that you have no friends, the good news is that that is something of an "easy" thing to fix, relative to the other problems of your life. You've already made one good step, which is coming to this site. There are plenty of people here, potentially including some that you could befriend. Even online friends count as friends. As far as counseling, you can always try someone else if the ones you already tried were unhelpful. Also, there is nothing inherently wrong with spending life "indoors." I spend much more time indoors than outdoors, and not just for work. Sometimes I just prefer to stay in my room than be out and about, and sometimes I stay indoors because I have no other choice. I lack money often, which restricts my ability to do anything worthwhile outside of the house. When I have to stay inside, I do stuff like cleaning my room, reading books, type/scan/office stuff I neglect, watch TV, etc. The point is being and staying productive.
  15. Feel free to send me a message if you'd like to talk.
  16. I agree with this. From my own experience, both females that were ever interested in me were my friends first. I would rather get to know them first, then woo/court them if I feel we have a connection. I think asking someone out after just two weeks is way too little a time. BareMetal, Considering that I am not particularly successful with women either (the two girlfriends I had in my life were my girlfriends because they took initiative, not me, and neither of those relationships worked out in the end), I probably shouldn't be talking too much, but I speak from experience when I say that women appreciate it when you take an interest in what they like. It makes them more likely to want to pay attention to you. There have been some instances in which girls I was into became closer to me because I actively listened to them. I was doing it for shamelessly opportunistic reasons, to be fair, and the "end goal" I had in mind didn't pan out due to unrelated reasons, but the point is, I feel like if you ask people out before you get to know them, you are shooting yourself in the foot. They have to know that they have enough things in common with you and they bond with you before they'll want to be with you. Then, when they know that, they might say yes. But that takes being friends with them first. If you ask them out from the get-go, when they barely know you, all they have to go by are your looks. And if what you say is true about your lack of looks, then no wonder you're not having any successes. I don't think I'm that much of a looker, either, but I guess I did something right, if two women were into me at some point. I know you said you tried and failed at being friends with them first, but maybe you just misjudged, or even if you didn't misjudge, maybe it just wasn't the right person.
  17. BareMetal, Even if it's true that you become less likely to ever pass, the only thing that matters is that there's a chance. And as long as you abide by the rules, nothing else matters. Why torture yourself with what others think? The truth is that there are some drivers in the world (heck, probably all of them) that think they're the best at driving, and no one else is better than them. Where I live (Los Angeles), people drive like maniacs, and in some cases, they get "road rage" because someone in front of them is driving too slow, and they should "keep up or get out of the way." People that drive or think this way are probably not as good as they think they are at driving. What I am getting at: people saying you should stay off the road are people that are afraid you'll get in their way if you drive. These people have unfounded senses of entitlement, and are not to be believed. Why would it be too late for you to get a degree? It just doesn't follow that you'll "most likely" die single. It's possible, sure, but that doesn't mean it's likely. There are 7 billion people in the world, and probably more than half of those are of the opposite gender as you. That's 3.5 billion possibilities, give or take certain things like age range, marital status, etc. If anything, the opposite of what you think is what is likely. I'm going to let you in on a little secret of mine: when I was young, I made a conscious decision to save myself until marriage before losing my virginity. When I brought this up to certain people, they pointed out that, if I succeeded, I would go into my hypothetical future marriage with no sexual experience. If there was no chemistry, they warned, that could be problematic. Well, in order to avoid going into my next relationship completely clueless about sex, I started researching it. I watched adult films, I picked up some "female magazines," I asked certain people that I trusted, and basically I made sure to know certain tricks and other things. Saving myself until marriage was not in the cards, as I got a girlfriend in 2013 - my second girlfriend ever. And that girlfriend expressed interest in being intimate with me. When we did it, she told me she was pleased/satisfied. Why was she? Because I didn't go into it completely oblivious. Being a virgin doesn't mean you are doomed to go into sex, when it happens, without knowing what to do.
  18. Personally, I think you're only a "failure" if you give up. If you are still trying, you haven't failed yet. Getting a license is something that is totally and completely within your power. Whether you study for the written portion of the exam and practice for the driving portion is entirely up to you. You don't need anyone else to sign on for that to happen. So this issue is just a matter of trying until you get it. If you don't have it, just try again. Getting a degree takes more time, and even those of us that are 25 aren't getting any younger, so it's up to you to decide if it's worth the time and effort. If you decide that it is, then it's basically the same idea as the license: it is completely within your power. It is up to you to study, do well in school, and make it happen. What is not as easy and clear-cut is girls. You could be the kindest, sweetest, most gentle guy in the world, and it's still up to them if they want to be intimate with you. They need to sign on for that to happen. On this issue, there are some of us that are just going to strike out a few times before we make it. Personally, since I, too, don't have a license, a degree, or something better than fast food employment (and I am 26), I am biding my time before trying to woo a woman again. I have been with women before, but objectively speaking, those were probably coincidences. I am not counting on yet another coincidence, so I am at the moment working on bettering myself. I have a better shot of courting a woman by bettering myself first, through getting a better job, a degree, a license, a car, and other things.
  19. I would love it if I awoke one day, and the massive mountain of debt I owe would just vanish. That would be pretty darn big.
  20. If you don't bother trying to be happy, what's the alternative? Trying to be sad?
  21. Even if others have got it "way worse" than you do, others have got it way better, too, so it balances out. My parents like to express those same sentiments in order to emphasize having perspective about things, but it really doesn't help. Why should I be grateful that I don't have it as bad as others, but not be angry that I don't have it as good as others? To be sure, I am not suggesting I or anyone should be angry. I just mean, that line of thinking doesn't really help.
  22. If you haven't sued your former friend already, maybe you should consider it. And I agree with lonelyforeigner, take it as a lesson. I have a friend that owes me $200, an ex that owes me $400, another friend that owes me $130, an aunt that owes me $100, and sometimes I wonder whether they even remember that they owe me, since I tried to be the nice guy and let them take their time paying me back. Nothing was signed, so they could understandably deny ever accepting money from me. I'm at a point in my life where I never help people unless it is as a gift to them from me, in which case they don't have to pay me back, or they are willing to sign for it and know that I will sue them if they fail to adhere to the agreed-upon terms. It feels cold and heartless, as if I lack compassion, which I completely acknowledge, but it's the only way to (maybe) preserve relationships with people.
  23. People typically only post memorable moments on social media, and avoid posting embarrassing, disappointing, or otherwise negative things. What they're most excited about or proud of. Don't assume that they don't suffer from days of boredom or frustration or just generally "bad days." Everyone has bad days. If you feel like you need to leave the house more often, then just do. Go for a walk. I used to have a "thinking place" where I would go when I wanted to be alone and ponder things. It was a small park in the area, that, for some reason, hardly ever had anybody in it. I never knew why, but I appreciated it being there. Every time I needed to be alone, it was there. As far as making friends...well, here we are! If you want IRL friends, leave the house and talk to people. That's all I can say. It's easiest in settings that are inherently conducive to making friends, such as school, work, church, etc., but if those aren't options for you, just go to places with a lot of people, find some to talk to, and just do it.
  24. Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see anywhere in your post that the "amazing girl" has a problem with how you look? Does she? If not, why do you assume you need to change how you look? If she has feelings for you despite your being self-conscious, why do you worry about it?
  25. It doesn't matter what they think, though. That's the thing. As long as you do things within the rules, once you get that permit, it won't matter how you got it, how long it took you, or anything else. It will be an even playing field with every other driver on the road. Worry not about the things you cannot change, such as people's perceptions of you. Only pay mind to things you can control, such as being a safe driver on the road.
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