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Everything posted by ladysmurf

  1. So my therapist asked me what I do for fun ..(this is a new person I am seeing) I mean there' snot much you can do with covid right now and i didn't really know how to answer that. I mean i told the person, people are afraid to go out, and many places are limited..
  2. the doctor only wants me to take it on bad , really bad days, because you can get addicted to that stuff, so i don't want to. i'd rather a medication, like an SSRI or SNRI would help me , but nothing ever works. i think it atarax usually wears off after a few hours at least that's what i read..
  3. it made me want to harm myself. but at the time i was seeing a different doctor and the person automatically gave me a big dosage. i might ask this new doctor to try it in a lower dosage
  4. Interestingly enough it helps a bit with my ocd, the doctor gave me like 50mg, but the problem is that it makes me very sleepy. Has anyone had that experience before?
  5. I apologize for not writing for weeks/months I have been struggling a lot lately. It's very hard to explain to people who don't get this illness what I am feeling. I am truly fed up with nothing working for my anxiety and OCD. People don't realize how much the anxiety and OCD wears you out, and none of the medications I've ever taken have helped. Now we are getting ready with the doctors to look into TMS. I will post my experience on the website, for others to know too, but we're all different so my outcome might be different than others.. I am just very sad and hopeless, and have thoughts of self-harm because it's my last resort type of solution. I hope everyone is doing well, ok, day by day, guys. I really hope that something helps, because I can't keep doing this forever, I am getting really tired of living this way.
  6. I sure hope it has some result for me, I am so sorry it didn't help you.. I can't take this anymore.
  7. im not going good, have a hard time getting out of bed...im sorry guys....i hope i can continue to do this but i dont know anymore......happy new year ...
  8. why can't I find any relief? why doesn't anything work for me? all i want is to sleep better, to lie in bed and enjoy a movie along with my favorite meal, to be able to live like a normal human being why must i suffer?
  9. im sorry i have not replied to you guys..i have been very down, and there were days i slept all day long, nth no intention of doing anything ..not even listening to music or watching or even getting out of bed. I don't feel good. i hope you guys are doing better.
  10. hey did the insurance cover it? glad it's helping
  11. i went for a quick walk, had a talk with a person i was in the hospital with (years ago) we have managed to keep in contact for like almost 10 years, so that's exciting. i wish i could meet the person , but with covid everyone is scared and so i don't see that happening. i hope everyone is doing OK. this illness is certainly a daily constant battle. just the other day i woke up wishing i wasn't here.
  12. had weird nightmares..barely slept...tired...hope you guys are doing OK
  13. i know but if they are in pain, it hurts so much you can't do anything about it
  14. It is very scary the world we live in. I once had so much tooth pain that I told the dentist do anything please to stop it. I paid like close to $1,000 and i had to use my credit card because my insurance didn't pay for it.. Tooth pain is very painful, that dentists know that, so they charge whatever they want..
  15. i think if you move in a warmer place it might help, but then again eventually reality and the illness will sink in after a while so im not sure if it will help 100% .....but that's a personal decision. I would say ask people who live in warmer climates and go visit before you invest in it..
  16. we all need the ME day and ME week, i fully support your decision, take it and go. no one else will care about you...only yourself and we neglect ourselves ...so go for it
  17. also what are peoples thoughts on holiday and mental illness?
  18. A little nervous but I pushed myself to do stuff i have been avoiding for weeks/months now.......hope everyone is doing well
  19. Honestly, I am frustrated. I can understand someone who does not deal with mental illness to not understand, but someone who goes through similar issues, I can't. My friend has bipolar and she has a pretty productive life, children, marriage, full-time job, etc, (no ones life is perfect I get that) but she told me I don't try hard enough, and I need to. It pissed me off so much, i've been trying all my life since I was a kid and pretending to stay alive and all that, and how can she say something so ignorant to me..?? I just don't get people. I told her off , I don't care if she got mad..
  20. I hope everyone is OK. I was just thinking about how much this illness has destroyed my life because it started at a young age, and no matter what I've tried from the medical field it has not been helpful, so I wonder do I really want to live like this for the rest of my life? Feeling miserable, sad, lonely , etc..
  21. im sorry, try not to let her get to you ...tell her she needs to learn, im sure they have free or cheap classes.
  22. Dont they have free classes at the library or nearby school? In my town library they have free classes for the older generation who isn't good with computers and needs to learn because everything is done online nowadays.
  23. glad you went for coffee. I went for a walk , just very short because it is cold.
  24. For months now I've been having nightmares and vivid dreams, I told the doctor but they don't go away...some days it scares me, but there's really nothing they can give me for them. I went for a walk again around the block and now just doing some chores around the house. How are you guys doing?
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