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ladysmurf last won the day on July 17 2012

ladysmurf had the most liked content!

About ladysmurf

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  • Birthday June 26

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  1. nothing ever changes, and i'm fed up.....what else is new
  2. hey i thought you were doing ok with the job and all, how are you? i havent even been able to return to work..it stinks i am so miserable at home isolating from the world
  3. cant you try again? what happened? (if its too personal you dont have to share)
  4. i have no goals, they will never happen, i already know that, so i gave up believing that this is happening for some reason, i don't believe in that. so i have no goals, no aspirations, no hope, no friends, (because my social anxiety wont let me do anything) I'm terrified of people and letting people into my life. i isolate , on top of that i have physical and emotional symptoms of depression and anxiety. I've just had enough. no one understands. i just waste my life for nothing. the doctors get paid, and i keep repeating the same old story over and over again, and i get no relief, support, nothing.
  5. sometimes i feel like fighting until the end, but sometimes i just think i've had enough and i can't keep doing this forever..
  6. So what gives you hope to hold on? After so many years of struggling with this illness, I started losing hope. I don't care for anything anymore. I haven't worked in years, I isolate...and I've tried many things in the medical field that got me nowhere..people just keep telling me "be patient, and hold on, you are strong, something will come out because so many people are suffering" but honestly, i am tired of hearing that, because no matter what i've tried for over decades now very few things have worked for a bit, and the rest no. So now my life is completely meaningless, I don't care much to go on. My self-esteem is not the best either, the anxiety I have does not help me get out of the house much and be more social with people. I just sleep, eat, and lie in bed. I don't see a future for myself. I am always tired. I used to be hopeful that something would change, but nothing ever does, and I got tired of trying, and hoping. After a while, everyone has their limits, I just can't find any hope anywhere, and who wants to spend the rest of their lives feeling this way? Not being able to talk to people, enjoy a favorite meal, enjoy a hobby, it's meaningless..
  7. i do that too...i dont use the computer, i use a notebook because even though right now i can't smell, i prefer the smell of books/notebooks and i'd rather use my pencil to write, cry , and feel better, than to just sit in front of the computer..and type away..
  8. dont worry ...one step a time...you have accomplished a lot.....you can try celexa it worked for my friend years ago ..see how that goes...you can always return to school later , when you feel more up for it....and maybe you are just worn out by the illness like someone else mentioned. i know i am because nothing works and i can't find hope anywhere ...but be proud of yourself too you are a working single mom...you will get there in time...i shouldn't judge you on your life and i dont want to ...just be careful if you smoke and drink around the kid if its young and stuff....(its not my business to ask what the situation there is,.). feel better...
  9. i have nothing left to fight and live for .....this is getting so annoying
  10. I think people have always been selfish, egotistic, harmful, it's not just now...we just hear about it now because of the Internet within minutes ...but look back at centuries ago, at wars, etc....weren't people cruel then? when people had no rights, especially woman who couldn't even talk if they got abused by their spouse? Humanity has always been cruel and unkind, if you are lucky to meet a few nice people in your lifetime, I'd be happy. But yes animals are better, both my dog and cat when I cry come near me, and sit next to me like to give me strength, i think they understand that I am hurting far more than a human. Humans don't care..
  11. I wish somebody would come and ease my troublin' mind I wish somebody would come and ease my troublin' mind, oh, yes, I do Why won't somebody come and ease my troublin' mind? I sure wish somebody would come and ease my troublin' mind
  12. i dont know i can't argue with you about DF, because some people find it helpful and others might not...and i am not sure maybe you got fed up with the illness like i have in the last 5 years and you've had enough i can get that, but i would never call you a selfish prick, and i highly doubt that many of your posts have not helped others.
  13. I think most people only when they experience such a painful experience are they able to see how short life is and the gifts of life are truly not in so much material (at least i think ) its usually the small things people take for granted on a daily basis ...those are the things i can't enjoy because of depression, and many of us can't, it hurts.....but most people dont get it unless they go through it , or see someone close to them suffering...
  14. Yes but think back to all the years you have been a member here. For me honestly this is one of the very few places in the world I have found people who I can relate to, who understand what I am dealing with, i try to share my experience, opinions, (sometimes they are negative because i'm fed up with this illness) new things I might learn, and even if i've changed 1 persons life or have made someone smile, find some relief, cry because they can relate to me , it's been worth it. I didn't get the life I dreamed for, but I am not sure many of us do. I'm just saying I think many of us on this site, including you have changed and helped others on here, and that counts for something.
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