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Rebecca Chambers

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Everything posted by Rebecca Chambers

  1. I finally caught up with The Walking Dead. I am really enjoying it, and Eugene has finally met his love interest. But I'm surprised that Maggie hasn't capped Negan yet. That evil smile just gets to ya!
  2. Just found out recently that the movie reboot now has Wesker (a white villain) as a black guy. Jill (another iconic character) is now Hispanic. Uh... okay. Not to mention, the games are just TERRIBLE now. Not exactly unplayable, I'd say. But the story is something I care about, and it's now basically being rendered as a hot pile of garbage. And the remakes had TONS of cut content, and the mood was not as unique in the RE2 remake, as it was walking around the police station in the original 1998 version. Unfortunately, fanboys on the Internet will always hate on RE3, while constantly praising RE2. So pointing that out to them falls on deaf ears. This is regardless of the version. But yes. The RE3 remake was a disgrace. The series has been an action series with nothing scary, since RE4 came out in 2005. But at least RE4 was a little bit scary, and it's also a long and fun game. However, games in the horror genre should not have merchants and a currency system involved. If you remember the golden heyday of horror games, you had to find stuff and make it all count. There wasn't some creepy random salesman there to trade items with you. And how they can travel around unnoticed baffles me. These days, they make it that enemies you dispatch can drop money and ammo. So I mean, that's just NOT survival horror. Also, most of the games today consist of you just blasting waves of werewolf looking things or villagers, to proceed to the next area, while dealing with the occasional hulking boss. So it's not even atmospheric in the sense that you feel overwhelmed by not knowing what is coming, as you know it's there. Also, with this RE Engine, they scan people's faces. So they got an actor to model Chris Redfield in RE7, which is considered a "soft reboot" of the franchise. Only that guy didn't look like the actor who was in RE5 and 6, so no one liked the change. No one! Although the graphics are great, Capcom makes everything look ugly. Naughty Dog (who created The Last of Us) does their games in a way where day and night is just as beautiful. But people always overlook the second game, because Joel [Miller] died, and they complain that Abby looks like a man. And well, I'm sure you get the picture.
  3. I play mostly survival horror games. Unfortunately, I closed another YouTube account. This guy called Alfred Gimpy keeps on following me around online, doing things to get my attention. He edits the same wiki pages that I do, so he gets subscribed to them. This means if I edit any page that he did too, he gets an email that I made a contribution. Then he closes these accounts he signed up, only to register even more. But besides doing pointless things like that, he posts my address on live streams if I play games on my PS4, or if I use a screen recorder on any of my phones, when I am playing pool on Miniclip. He's just doing all of this because he's a fruitcake.
  4. The stalker actually abuses me on YouTube, and emailed me the other night, after harassing me on Miniclip. I think I better get reporting him soon. The only problem is, I reside in Scotland. He is in New Zealand, I believe.
  5. I am only active on three forums now, and one wiki, about horror films. Yet I'm plagued by a stalker on that wiki, who leaves stupid anonymous comments, and he was bothering me on other forums with multiple profiles. When this crazy Kiwi gets caught out though, he tries to move his profiles to new names, yet he forgets there are still breadcrumbs that lead back to him because of his edits. While I do occasionally post on some other forums, like this one, I'm usually only on three forums about gaming, and I'd say they're all dead, apart from being attended by a few posters who submit pointless three word replies here and there. It's nothing that makes conversing with anybody really worth your while anyway. Once 'the honeymoon phase' is over with some newer games, I don't see a lot of people posting on them much anymore. Now that I don't have broadband, and have to use mobile data to access the Internet, I cannot get videos to play in full HD or even medium or low quality, and downloading games I find now takes me days, as I only have 4G speed. Broadcasting games is also out of the question, as it's not likely I'll be able to achieve a stable enough connection, and be cut off so constantly, making it a chore to bother with. And of course, many gaming forums as I pointed out, are dead now. So you kind of have to reply to video comments on YouTube, and build up a thread that way, weeding through all the ridiculous posts from trolls. All the decent responses get buried, so again, is it worth the hassle to participate in such groups? The more active forums like GameFAQs really, really should be avoided. Trying to have a worthwhile conversation with any users on that site, is akin to trying to get blood from a stone. They're all degenerates, and likely shills, so they won't care about anything you say in any case. I've seen other users engaging with them, as if they need to get the last word in, and I'm thinking, "Why take the bait?" But one of the reasons I gave up on anxiety and autism forums, was due to the sheer amount of people on them who implied I was nuts (or the culprit). I've posted quite a number of threads on them, explaining stuff about my problems, and only about 2 in every 50 users understand where I'm coming from. I'd re-registered on one forum I had not been on for like 4 years after being banned, and somehow after I posted with a new identity, they immediately remembered who I was. Like, I got kind of mad at them again because I felt like they were not interested in what I had to say when I went into this long winded rant about what had been going on. They were being awkward and unhelpful. I'd go into this long tangent about how I got betrayed by my former support workers, and I even described some of the (in my view) heinous things they did to me, such as one guy emailing me with a nickname years ago, and with me getting lied to about two women who didn't want to support me again, and whatnot. Both of which, are pretty bad incidents from the perspective of a client, actually. All they did was say I did this, this, and this, appearing to be fully disinterested in accepting that they did bad things to me first. All the bother with these so-called support workers actually lead to a number of jail terms for me, and all manner of stress, because I felt I needed closure, and I kept contacting them when I wasn't supposed to. Now I don't even have any support, and my mother does everything for me. My older mate just lives up the road, but I seldom ever see him nowadays. To be honest, I started to think he was avoiding me. In recent years, I realised I was 'getting on a bit', age-wise, even though I'm only 34. Well, I decided to try my hand at acting ages ago, since everyone loves movies, and I always felt that if you cannot be a good actor for whatever reason, there's nothing wrong with being in films as an extra. I'd did acting years ago in an amateur class for disabled people at a college, but then I didn't do anything like that for long enough because of having anxiety issues, and I had a hard time after losing my support and being reunited with my ex after nearly 7 years, who from that point onward, kept on scamming me until she just eventually exited my life again. It was hellish, I tell you. But finally, I started getting some small extra roles in movies; I landed minor roles in a few full length movies, and also some short films. In fact, I was meant to get a speaking part in a Christian film, yet my scenes were edited down heavily, to the point where I felt like I'd wasted my time. I've had to suffer with people slandering me online, which has affected my acting ambitions greatly and caused so many setbacks. Like, I know the people who did it before, and they're actually still at it. I've donated money on sites like Indiegogo, hoping I'd get to appear in these low budget films in a small capacity, and then I've been purposefully 'bumped' because someone was spreading stories to other producers, and as a result, I have gotten nowhere. Recently, I compiled some list of what I could have been in, and there's like 40 films I missed out on being a part of. They didn't refund the money either, and I don't know if now is a good time to take the matter up as a small claims case. It's bad right now, as practically all businesses are closed due to the coronavirus commotion. In the past, I called so many legal firms and even recorded me speaking to them so I could prove how annoying the process is. Nobody was able to help, or they asked for way too much money. In general, a lot of people I've met in real life have taking the biscuit with me, like people in general, care personnel, co-workers, escorts, Internet losers, and doctors. At my age, I feel like it's not healthy to be sitting online all day long moping over the past, but it's the only socialising I am able to get. After all of this nonsense with being hurt by people, it has kind of made me just not care anymore. And I think about my mother loads, too. She is 66 now, and I think in a few more years, she will probably not be able to get out much. Even now, she cannot walk long distances. My sister cannot even help me now, as she is housebound due to a disability, and is going through a custody battle with no solicitor to back her up. It's just gotten pretty dull, and 2020 already sucks. And when it comes to acting, I don't have an agent to find me any decent jobs. Extra work is sort of meaningless, because you're just on the screen for a few seconds in the background doing nothing, and nobody is fussy about that type of stuff. I'm not able to travel anywhere, which might have been an option had I been able to go further away. My criminal record means I can't be in mainstream movies, and the local filming crowd are blackballing me on the indie scene, which I cannot always prove outright. So, I reckon it's a lost cause now that the doomsday is nigh. I'm not so sure you can even sue somebody either, unless you have a lot of dough in the bank. Even so. That's not going to stop anybody from doing it again.
  6. I've made three prior parts, but I think this is the best one. The film focuses on two guys who cannot escape a house. We unearth a plot by a demon. In the end, we have to deal with a clown, our evil twins, and the demon, in order to escape. It's a good laugh... https://archive.org/details/thedulveyestatethefinalchapterextendedcut
  7. I'd rather be on a dating site for people with autism or disabilities, than squander my energy on Facebook and similar sites. These people seem to be more mutually respectful and sympathetic than many neurotypical people are. Not that I like using that term much.
  8. Remember the days when you could use custom HTML with Myspace? By the way, avoid Android devices like the plague. They are very sluggish. I'm using a tablet that has Android, and Google operates Android. Google are notorious for spying on your activities online. I'm not able to easily install any apps either. The external keyboard I attached also has very hard, sensitive keys. What takes me seconds on a laptop takes minutes with this piece of trash. There's an issue where it gets stuck at the 'waiting for 'download' part. When I did a search on Google, so many people have been complaining about the same sort of issues, wondering why this is still ongoing. You're meant to be able to rectify this by clearing the Google Play Store cache, but when I tried that, clicking the 'cache' button wouldn't work. I'm not impressed with Android at all. Also, I use mobile data from my phone with USB tethering, yet the speed is pretty decent. Some sites cannot be accessed unless I enable a VPN, though, because O2 blocks adult sites. Don't use free browser based anonymity sites. They can contain viruses and these annoying ads cover the screen.
  9. I liked Bebo. Never really been keen on Facebook much.
  10. Nazis are obviously bad, but I played one in a movie I produced last year, and the film looks like it will be a good laugh. It should be out this summer. And I would have posted a link to the trailer, but I kind of have to watch what I'm doing online now, as my activities can be traced. I appeared in two feature films before that. At least I can say I gave acting a crack. But all the slandering and stress has greatly overshadowed these accomplishments. Unfortunately, I don't think you can stop people from saying things. It's just the way networking goes. Maybe it's time to put acting behind me, even if it doesn't feel right.
  11. While the Internet is vastly unproductive, I guess in this generation, quitting it is hard. I'd be lonely without it too. You get free music as well, and I need music in my life! Yes. Even cheesy tunes.
  12. Thanks. All I did was tell her that another extra had a bad experience working on the film. The next thing I know, after already being outed from the extras group on Facebook, I was blocked for nothing on this person's Twitter profile. Later on, somebody also sent me posts about things these people said. Like, one of the people who said to call her number if there was a problem, complained because I went to the venue and called her a total of once, not knowing they simply postponed the shoot. They sent an email about it. I'd gone to bed early, so I missed it. She made me sound like some unwanted creep. I gave up using survival horror forums at the end of 2019 too - with a few exceptions. Many users on gaming message boards are among the very worst online. People go to their worst place online. Even though I'm 34 and I still like those sort of games, I see no need to chat with airheads online about them any more, as they even made an Encyclopedia Dramatica entry about me, stalked me, slagged me off, and everything. No game is worth all that abuse. The same with being a measly extra in a film few people will ever watch...
  13. Basically, I live in Scotland, and I wanted to be a film extra, or gain some small speaking parts, in local independent productions. I've got a condition like Asperger's, and I'm not in the least bit good looking either, and I'm very thin, with glasses. In fact, I have no social life whatsoever, and I suffer from extreme anxiety. I'm also single. Some actress blocked me on Twitter during 2016 after I felt offended over being blocked, for speaking my mind about something. Personally, I don't care about this woman at all, and I'd have moved on, if she hadn't been speaking about me in secret. But she has since been telling people not to include me in various films, and for some 3 years in a row, this has occurred. And don't ask me how I know this, but I just know she is the perpetrator. This is very upsetting, not to mention, frustrating. Last year, I paid money on a site called Indiegogo for a perk involving an upcoming horror film. One of the people who dislikes me is involved with producing that film, which I did not know about until recently. The director then gave me the cold shoulder on Facebook for ages before spilling the beans, and now the guy directing it isn't giving me a part in the movie, because his producer knows that actress, and numerous other people have slandered me as well. He said he will continue to block me, but I'm supposedly going to receive a refund. I've lost out on being in other feature (and short) films since 2016, all because that actress slandered me back then, and she knows a lot of people in the Scottish acting community, which obviously doesn't sit well for me. I didn't have much in the way of proof before, as it kept on going on behind the scenes, so it was hard to verify it was her doing it. Then last year, three guys who bothered me on YouTube over Resident Evil related nonsense, did a live stream with me, accusing me of things, and then they randomly talked about her. She also got them to air screenshots. Not long after that, I mentioned these people in a video, although it was just very briefly. The next thing I know, I'm appearing in court after a police interview took place (following police bail) and then they tried to get me locked up because one of the people I mentioned (because she admitted that she contacted him, and I was angry) - is actually a former 80's pop singer, who has a non-harassment order in place, and I was jailed in 2018 for breaching that order. Essentially, I made "death threats" and even the pigs said I was just saying that. So I reckon the PF is just picking on me. Furthermore, I kept breaching multiple court orders many times in the past, regarding a few former support workers who worked for an autism agency, and an ex-boyfriend of one of them, even though when I contacted them, it was usually to offer an apology. That was quite the ordeal. The commotion all started because we fell out years ago over something daft, after other people purposefully stitched me up, and they knew I was infatuated with them too. It's a long 7 year story, but the long and short of it, is that the company I depended on to help me, just chewed me up and spat me out. The ladies had asked to be removed as my support workers. The bosses lied and said they were still down to support me. After being remanded in jail for becoming so irate, I was not allowed into the supported accommodation, and many months later, the manager asked me to declare away my tenancy by signing my name on what was a blank sheet of paper. Isn't that technically illegal? Now my criminal record is pretty much overkill, and the non-harassment orders got extended to 10 years in 2018. After reading up about this, it seems this stuff will remain on my record until they reach the expiration period. It ain't fair, because all I did was lash out when people mocked me, or betrayed me. Then all these other people began picking on me too, so my acting ambitions have gone down the chute, and the court has like a year to deal with this matter, according to the rules. You're not able to take up defamation cases on legal aid, though. That's why I'm beat. What else can I really do? My lawyer said it will cost thousands to attempt to sue these people. The thing is... I cannot get a part as an extra in Hollywood type films that get shot in my neck of the woods either, as they request a DBS check. Mine is blootered with charges over similar situations, so there's no point in bothering any longer. Is there? And it appears as if I'll have to keep taking the heat for reacting to being defamed. It's a deplorable situation overall.
  14. You know? It's kind of funny how one of my haters, did a live stream with two other guys in late 2016, talking about toxic fans for Resident Evil... when they themselves are toxic YouTubers, because they made a series of hate videos about this Nemesis fellow, when all he was doing at that point in time, was speaking the truth about a company that has been milking this franchise dry for a number of years. Over a decade, actually. Well, I unfortunately cannot say the same about Nemesis these days, because he went back on his word about Capcom, after they released that God awful Resident Evil 2 "remake" in January. A remake that I may add, is not characteristic of the original at all. He kept talking about how Capcom was lying to their fans, and suggesting that people don't open their wallets to enable them to do this anymore. Yet as the release date neared, he claimed that, and this is Nemesis by the way... Nemesis claimed that he was not going to buy the remake at all, because he was acting so unsure of Capcom's motives, while putting on a brave face for his followers. He went on and on about Capcom being money grabbers in his videos, to the point where in at least one video he has since removed, he was on the verge of crying. He even said last year, that during the E3 event, his live stream rights was cut off because 'Capcom knew what he was doing' and Capcom really, really does not care about this man's opinions whatsoever. He has it embedded in his brain now that he believes they are onto him, but it's not a case of that at all. And it was not long after that, that I sent videos to Dominik and his mate, saying that they were being unprofessional, and all this stuff, and I had the same outcome. But I said a very derogatory thing about America in one of my comments, so Nemesis chose to stick up for them, and suddenly he forgot that they were mocking him, and this all started because these same two guys didn't like his channel. Yep! Partly due to my controversial ways, they got on the same page, and eventually deleted the videos that focused specifically on bashing Nemesis. I was literally saving them to my drive as they removed them, after I saw a tweet by one of them, stating that they were going to be taken down. Whereas, if they had not advertised that they were going to delete them, I would not have been able to archive them in time. I only just missed out on saving a few of these videos, because I literally refreshed the page and some were gone, but I did manage to save the most relevant ones. They say that Nemesis bettered himself as a person, so their beef with him has ended. No. What he actually did, was grow a beard, and act like he is the second coming of Jesus Christ. When I watch his newer videos, I don't see that same old ballsy "Senpai Nemesis" any longer. Now, I see Sell-out Nemesis. All I see is a guy that believes he has bragging rights, because he has amassed almost 4K subs. So I guess it's okay to be a phoney and yell, and curse like a tool, when you have 4K fans supporting you all the way. I don't know if I want to label him as a sell-out, because it may make me look salty if I say that he is, since he did turn on me. But if you're going to rant and rave about stuff for 2 years constantly, at least don't make yourself look like a prat at the end of it all by going back on your oath not to buy something, thus associating yourself with a company you claim to strongly dislike. Not buying a game means exactly that. If you boast of how you ain't going to be a certain way towards a company, and how you think they disespected key personnel that worked on the classic titles that are no longer employees of that place, then you don't decide to be a contradicting little chicken when it comes to the crunch. This is what I mean. As long as that name is slapped on this piece of trash, they will always get these suckers to buy it no matter what. Even the odd few people like this man, who present themselves as a heroic figure on camera, and pretty much demand that you boycott a company, and they will talk the talk, but they cannot ever seem to walk the walk. "Oh, I hate this company so much, and I will not give them my custom, but I see it's out tomorrow, so I better buy this and stream it online because my viewers asked me to" AKA being a liar. It's that attitude that has allowed Capcom to do what they've been doing to so many of their biggest franchises, for way too long. I just hate how gaming companies, and also Hollywood, tries their damndest to **** off our childhoods. I'm not joking either. People think I'm being a rambling lunatic for saying stuff like that, but it's true. I feel as if Capcom deliberately removed a lot of the key elements to the series on purpose, like when they had the main villain (Albert Wesker) dying, and taken away the tank controls, and the outdated camera perspective, because they know that those type of games would never gain the same type of market as the more action oriented entries presented with Resident Evil 4 up to now. It's honestly like painting a masterpiece and having somebody visit your gallery to view your work, just to throw a bucket of their poop at your prized creation. Essentially, this is how Capcom views the true fans of Resident Evil. They really just forgot what made these games so great to begin with. Other people have made criticism videos, sure. But I really felt like Nemesis had hit a home run with his points. I mean, the Resident Evil games put out by Capcom since 2005 haven't quite been anything like the ones from the PlayStation era, despite the improvement with technology as we know it. Of course, if you don't follow these games, you won't know much about the story, who ditched who, or why purists have been harping on about it as much as they have been. But take my word for it: I think the community for these games, is a haven for scum. I honestly could hardly hear what the third guy was speaking about, as he talks in such a disinterested, frog croak like manner with Dominik and Ren, who talks like a New York City gangbanger who has been around the block a few times, doing much of the chit-chat instead, but this was a Q&A type stream where they were asking each other what they thought of the fans hating on other fans, and also going on about what they hope to see for future titles. Also kind of ironic of them to criticize purists for video games, considering they made those videos about me, and are refusing to erase these, because they think it "bothers me" that they did that. In general, however, they don't really add anything of quality to YouTube or the online world at all, unlike myself and Nemesis. These guys can't cut it in the real world, so they have to turn to a digital life, and their anger really shines through on-screen. 2019 will definitely be my last year on forums; I can see it being a long summer too, because I have a social anxiety problem, and don't go out much, which of course indicates that I obsess over stuff that occurs on the Internet. Just irrelevant nonsense that in the grand scheme of things, should be shrugged off. Not having support any more certainly does not help the situation, but I feel like I have to be on forums less and less now. It is like a drug that you have to wane off from, sometimes slowly. You know it is not good for you to keep on going, but you do it anyway. You have to will yourself to a point where you can just learn to take a measure of responsibility, and not further their cause. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVashZ1wbXg
  15. I'll try calling the cops in Illinois, so that hopefully will be the end of this guy's vindictive ways.
  16. Sorry if this is a confusing story, but I will try to explain everything to the best of my ability, so here goes... Quite some time ago, I found this person's YouTube channel. He is called Nemesis. And Nemesis, if you didn't know, is a boss enemy in the Resident Evil franchise. So you can probably tell what his channel focuses on. Mostly, what he covers these days is opinions videos about the Resident Evil series. He used to have a hyphen after his name, because I think at one point, Google required you to have a second name. I'm not sure. But he shortened his name to just simply Nemesis. Anyway, I have been in various online platforms concerning these games since I was a teenager, so I know a lot of the members on the related forums can act venomous over the pettiest of things. This escalated to the point where trolls even created a page about me on a vile website, called Encyclopedia Dramatica, which also has information about incidents from my personal life. And I have been getting stalked by this creep from New Zealand over the past few years. These other YouTubers with more subscribers than this guy, started making videos, essentially bashing the guy for yelling in his videos, and supposedly 'spreading misinformation' through what he was saying. That is nonsense. But anyway, that's what they did, starting in May of last year. Well, since I'm a fan of his channel, I thought they were going way overboard. I then made videos saying it was unprofessional, or at least considered to be unprofessional, to have gaming related YouTube channels, and using accounts to cyber bully somebody else on the Internet, just over their own views. After a while, they made videos about me as well, editing in scenes from movies and insulting me in what they thought was a relevant manner. Because, why not? That's what idiots like this love to do. But in some videos, I was seen on camera touching a mouse in a bath tub, which they assumed was a rat. I mean, I even said it was a mouse. Thinking I was funny, I was pretending that a toothbrush was a microphone, because one of them said something about my teeth, but I actually just looked like a moron by doing that. I thought that kind of attitude of theirs was so vitriolic. But anyway, I went to jail for several months for something totally unrelated to all of this online stupidity, so I was not around from mid-August until early December, but they know I was in jail and they mentioned it in recent videos. The videos about Nemesis however, were still online as recently as a few days ago. They removed them because he seemingly 'improved himself' as a person, and they have ended their conflict with him. But what occurred was, during my backlash against these guys, I had my own channels, and Nemesis turned against me because he found out I said something derogatory about America, where all of these guys I'm referring to, come from. I closed them all, but during the time I was responding, their followers started deliberately leaving comments, voting the videos down, false flagging them, or even archiving my videos elsewhere. I don't get anybody really noticing me on YouTube in general, because I'm not hugely popular. I've got zero talent when it comes to editing videos, and I speak rather fast, so it may be awkward trying to follow what I'm saying anyway. I also tend to get out of breath a lot too. In fact, I had been covering some acting stuff, which they thought was hilarious. Anyway, in a lot of the videos they uploaded to their channels, they are calling me a manchild, which I assume is a derogatory term for an autistic adult. I've been suffering from anxiety for years, and this kind of carry on just makes me feel low. They also know I like transgender people, so they mocked the fact I said I was into them by calling them traps. They also kept calling me a rat, and saying my accommodation is probably infested with them, as well as saying I resemble a rat. But I was also told I look like a rotted grapefruit that was screwed in the face by a chainsaw, and also going on about me having a "failed acting career", because I told them about my IMDb page. Recently, I tried reporting the videos to YouTube. They've been talking to this Nemesis guy in an attempt to get him to side with them, and they say he's my senpai, or mentor, because I was following him in the past. Apparently, they've been talking about me on his Discord, or in private messages. I'm honestly so fed up of this kind of Internet harassment, because it started over a decade ago with other people who, quite frankly, are in the same category. I'm not sure why Google isn't removing the videos. But they try to bypass that hassle, by saying it's videos aimed at critique. I cannot embed every single video, because there's quite a lot in this list of theirs. But in one of their most recent videos, they tried to say that I probably went to jail because I'm a potential paedophile, while falsely accusing me of "beating women in the past", and they want me to go back to prison for a long time so they don't see me around online. Yeah, that's what this one guy was saying in one of his videos, because I told them to lay off bothering people over video game debates, and I got the address of one of their mothers via the fact he uses his real name on PayPal, so I looked him up in case I need to contact the authorities in Illinois. It's quite ridiculous, but I guess it's hard to avoid this type of abuse on YouTube if you have a large channel that constantly keeps attracting trolls like these guys. At the end of the day, you should be able to state how you truly feel about a game or whatever, without fear of being hounded in this fashion. RE: Refuting Peter Anderson One Last Time (End Of The Nemesis Saga) - YouTube [Renegade Operative] https://youtu.be/mENF6Hpi7X8 Triggering Into An Unhealthy Obsession - YouTube [BioDevil_Dom] https://youtu.be/9C4V1WwL-aE RE - Peter Anderson: The Final Nail In The Coffin! Nemesis Responds To The Situation - YouTube [Renegade Operative] https://youtu.be/GGVDG0newaI
  17. I'm still posting on forums, but there are a lot of trolls and members that hardly post. I don't know what happened...
  18. I have anxiety really bad too. I can only get one item from a corner shop and then I hurry out the door. I've noticed I get this 'flushed' feeling and an elevated heart when I go to the counter. It could be due to social anxiety or agoraphobia issues. This means I need the right change so I can leave as soon as is possible, but I'm usually okay if I go somewhere with (example) my mother. In fact, I cannot say I even notice the nervousness when somebody else is with me, but it's not always practical. Is it? I normally go out each day by myself to a local Tesco to buy a cup, or a bottle of cold coffee. But I've noticed lately that my stress levels have been put up quite a bit, and what's making this more annoying than it should be, is that social services don't help me any more, which is frustrating. The funny thing is...the building they work in is situated only like 10 minutes from where I live. My former social worker just wasted my time for over 3 years. People like him often treat mentally ill personnel as an "issue" and not an actual human being. That's wrong, but that's what they're like. I'd also missed out on being in tons of films this year as well, because he said back in 2015 that he could not "justify" funding help for that activity, and yet, they were only able to fund 6 hours of support, so I don't get why he had this attitude. I've got this thing about going by myself to meet people I don't know and because I don't have support now in any capacity, it's rather awkward attempting to do things by myself. Also, I don't think it's a good idea to get too pally with extras and all that through adding them on platforms such as Facebook, as you get quite a lot of backbiters and I think certain people in this industry can be rather immature as well. It's best just to stay strictly professional, as you can get people spreading stories.
  19. But I'm not sad. Well, maybe I am a little bit saddened about it. But it's for a few good reasons. For the past several years, I feel that Internet forums have gone *WAY* downhill, and it's either because the sites are full of trolls, or they're just plain dead. Now I don't even see much activity on the relatively few survival horror games sites that remain, but even Wikipedia refers to the golden era of those games as being from 1996 to 2004 (Christ!) and that was obviously a very long time ago. So with a heavy heart, I just have to accept that this is a phase in gaming history that is no more, or at least, it isn't anywhere as huge as it was in the good old days. For me though, that era was something like 1999 to 2004. After that, I gradually began to lose interest after enduring a lot of personal problems with forums, plus people in reality. These days, I also feel very agitated, isolated and angry at people who stabbed me in the back numerous times. The forums I check in on still have a few posts here and there, but it's usually the same users who post, and half the time, nobody replies. And all the well-known gaming forums like GameSpot, IGN and all that are also pretty much dead and have reached an all-time low period where hardly anyone posts, or when they actually do decide to post, it's more so to bash something and question whether they yield coherent opinions. I'm not sure what caused the decline, but I think the rise of other forms of social media is to blame, because with Twitter and Facebook, people have all their interest groups collectively put together, and can add both their real friends and cyber pseudo buddies as well. And even a lot of news sites have comments sections, but maybe not forums. I'm not saying that all forums out there are dead, but they've certainly gotten to be rather niche over the years that they've been around online. Just based on that, I ain't certain that they'll ever be the same again, and even InvisionFree switched to Tapatalk, and the issue remains unsolved.
  20. I was in jail for months, for something ridiculous and I got my housing benefit stopped after a certain date, but I got a concurrent jail sentence over something else while I was doing the first sentence. It does not seem right that I am having to go through this. And basically, I got sent to prison again for apologies towards former support workers. Can I appeal this?
  21. Yeah. I've tried to change my social worker, but I never get anywhere. Granted, I've not called that building in quite a while, but I know that even if I persisted, they would just ignore me like they always do. In the past, I called them...a lot of times. Since I moved into my flat in February, I've telephoned my mother and every conversation is pretty much about the same subject; I'm always reminding her that their services suck and I'll likely not be getting any helpers any day soon. Even if I did eventually find a few male workers, they would more than likely just function as fake friend types (or watchdogs) for to report my activities to their higher-ups. Social services are ruining my sister's life by the week, after removing her kids at different periods and making her fight her butt off to get them back. Even if I paid for my own support somehow, social services are still involved in some capacity, but I neither trust nor like these snakes. They're probably thinking I'm not their top priority any more because of all these charges, but before 2014 came and went, I only had one charge on my record from 8 years previously that would have been "spent" in 2012. They purposefully got a social worker to keep tabs on the carry on with my ex, because she was all I talked about. Well, she was a scam artist, but I think they were deeply concerned that I was way too obsessed with her. It took a lot of her kicking me in the balls to make me realize that she would never change. She bullied me into buying her expensive goods, then treated me like a heap of trash regardless of my efforts, and she often saw this other guy, because I was supposedly just a mate. For all anyone knows, they were probably having sex. Back then, I think even small offences stayed on one's record for half a decade, but I definitely would have had a clean slate by late 2012. After that, only the authorities would see my prior charges. Some extra agencies for the entertainment industry require a disclosure certificate, so if they see 5 to 6 pages of related BS, that I feel other people helped to instigate, I'll not be getting any jobs, I'm sure. They previously gave me a 5 years non-harassment order in 2015 for contacting the ladies, when I was only apologizing, and this boyfriend of my former key worker likes to gloat about it on his work related Facebook page. My nobility really doesn't matter a squeak to the court. They just charge the offender for the original crime. So if you said racist and sexist things, or sent angry tweets, but later said sorry for it, that doesn't matter to the court. You still said that stuff. Even my supervisor thinks the court got it all wrong. A detective told my mother that jail isn't the answer, but the sheriffs are as thick as a plank. They bail real criminals, for committing far worse offences such as assault, yet they would gladly send a 32 year old guy with depression and anxiety to the slammer. It's a sad world we're living in today. Now, I've got another 5 years non-harassment order over this guy who fronted a new wave band called The Mighty Wah! (Google "The Story of the Blues" and you will see they were famous in the eighties in the UK). The lead vocalist used to be friendly with me, but we fell out because I said one thing out of place a few years ago. He put my tweets on ignore mode, so when I found out he had did that after I sent him a message that wasn't in bad taste, I was none too happy.
  22. For a number of years, I had gotten support for having something like autism, which is classed as a pervasive development disorder. I was also in a flat as part of this care company's supported accommodation and I liked the social opportunities they provided, at that time. Even though I generally did not socialize with people very often anyway, the chance to do so was at least more manageable back then, seeing as how I had support personnel helping me. Once, I also won a snooker cup as part of one of their social activities. I'll admit that I crossed ethical boundaries by latching onto my female support workers, but what gave them the right to betray me and ruin my life, and get the pigs, and the court, and all sorts of other people on my case? Anyone with half a brain should have known I was just lonely and depressed. Especially since I spent a good 6 years looking for my ex-girlfriend, and when I was reunited with her, she just used me. They were also very, very clued-up on the situation between us and how she lied, and scammed me, and so much more. That's not counting all the abuse from Internet trolls since the age of 17 that they were also aware of. Without going into an awful long story about what these employees did, these workers were not even qualified in regards to autism. All they did was get a job with this agency and act smart, but some of the workers were okay as people. One guy, however, sent me nasty emails starting 10 years ago, using an alias, and he admitted to doing that. He was one of my very first support workers, too. What gave him the right to do that? Aren't there rules about cyber abusing clients of support services if they're supposed to be in a position of trust? Then a service user came between me and my former key worker (who is Spanish) by telling her about things I linked him to online, when we argued on Facebook in the summer of 2013, primarily about a female service user who briefly came to this venue known as Number 6 (for people with autism). Well, it wasn't actually just his doing. Other support staff did it too after I opened my mouth too much, but I reckon he started it off. He was even seen in the accommodation, but since he did not reside there, why was he allowed there? It is likely he went there to show things to my key worker, since clients are not allowed to befriend workers on social media, so it made sense that he would just get her to open up a window on a browser. Even after my key worker and another woman she worked with were permanently removed from my rota after months of shunning me, either amid the manager's concerns that I was getting too close to them, or they requested not to work with me any longer, the managers lied by saying they were still down to support me, then lied even more when I got rather suspicious, until finally, I angrily reacted to the obvious lies of theirs. Then the bosses said that was what got them removed (obviously a part of their ploy, and hereby untrue). Even if those women did not want to work with me again, would it not have been a better idea to just be honest from the beginning, even if I got angry anyway? Over the next several years, the agency more or less had dumped me and I was without any support whatsoever. I was duped into ending my tenancy as well. The council told me my rent was paid up to a certain point, but the court made me live with my parents, as the trial continued for the sheriffs to obtain additional background reports. This boss of those women spun a different yarn to what someone at the council explained to me. She got me to meet her in her office during 2015, then I signed a blank piece of paper. This wasn't a form. It had no text on it. She just asked for my signature. Not long after that, I went to jail for the third time after I was fully committed for trial, shortly after I was giving a Community Payback Order that only required supervision for 18 months. Prior to that, I got remanded in custody twice in 2014 for breaching bail, and I'd never even been in a jail cell before all this BS occurred, nor did I have the decorated criminal record that I have plastered to my good name now. They also sent me to a jail in Glasgow, referring to me as a sex offender, and I shared a cell with some rather odd guys that I did Google searches of upon my liberation. All I did was say suggestive remarks in a few rant emails. My lawyer later just called that stuff they said, a "mistake." Life has become so chaotic for me, and I can tell you for a 100% fact that I get bullied online very frequently by trolls on forums, or people to do with making films on Facebook. Plus, I had to see this supervisor as part of my sentencing, as I mentioned above. He was obnoxious and I didn't appear happy whenever I saw him. He assumed I had a crush on my dentist next, just because I said to him that I told her what garbage they all subjected me to. After additional arrests over other people, to do with Twitter mostly, they amended the orders or made new Community Payback Orders to run with the others, but I cannot recall how many I got in total. They all finally ran out in 2017 though. I've now got a flat of my own, with a concierge downstairs with a key to my flat (so the council giving me this flat, I doubt is a coincidence). In February, I was sentenced to do unpaid work for harassing a former pop star in Liverpool, England, and when I told the people in charge of my work induction that anxiety makes me unable to work, they asked for proof and wanted me to come back to see them, with something official. But I'd only just joined a new GP, so the doctors there wouldn't know about my history, although they know bits and pieces from court appointed meetings. Last year, I left my previous GP which I was with for most of my lifetime, after the doctor lied about prescribing medication for erection issues and stood me up, then made out I lived too far away from there and had to leave, along with my family, when we did not live far from there at all. It was only a 30 minute walk, if that. The manager lied and covered up for him. She made out I was not giving Sildenafil in ages, when I had actually been getting it from another doctor in the same practice for long enough. It would be logged on their system too. Now the court had actually gave me unpaid work to do as an alternative to getting a custodial sentence. So I'm due back in court on 26 April and so I could get put in the clink...again. This would be my first jail sentence if that happens. I've been on remand four times. I'd previously refused having yet another supervision order, because I aim to get new helpers somehow. But I know for sure that anybody appointed to help me would snitch on me if the supervisor knew their details, but that's in my view, not what support assistants are in your life for. Is it? The court have also giving me anti-harassment orders that run for 5 years, but 5 years is ridiculously long, because then obviously all that trash would be on my disclosure certificate for 5 years, whereas minor daft crimes are usually only on one's record for around 2 years, in this modern day and age. So what are these idiots playing at here? What are they accusing me of being? Because I'm not going to stand for being blackballed. I have a social worker. That place he works in have been ignoring my calls for years, or I'm told to leave a message, and then nobody responds. In under 3 years, the dude has done practically zilch for me and he even dictates what support I can get, which isn't right. What's the point of having a social worker like him when all they'll do is use my future helpers as stool pigeons? He also did not want to fund support just for workers to watch me be a film extra, but I find going to film sets by myself hard as I have acute anxiety, although I'm not dispassionate about the thought of being in more movies. However, there are obviously other benefits to getting support besides what I am describing on here. He did find me one lousy worker, from a nursing home, which has zero to do with anxiety, let alone anyone diagnosed with autism and whatnot. The dude nipped my head and he was so unpleasant, and he did not want to do anything apart from drink coffee in multiple venues and get a bus everywhere. That was indeed a year ago. One year later and countless calls thereafter, and where is the real help, huh? They are useless. Is it really any wonder I get so frustrated at people and think the world I live in doesn't want me around anymore?
  23. If it doesn't do that, it leaves many chemical imbalances that worsen anxiety. Since I suffered a panic attack around 9 years ago, my life has sucked ever since. Years of stress has really screwed me up inside. Now I don't get bugger all support. Social services cannot be trusted anyway. It's hard to know who you can turn to.
  24. Is there any alcohol support groups in the area where you reside?
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