Ornery1

Thank you Stonium. Yes, I admit that I have my faults. My temper has always been a big one for me. My mother made a comment to me the other day that really hit home with me. She said that when it comes to relationship issues, always tell yourself that "The problem with us is me". That may sound kind of defeatist to some, but, if you approach your issues in this way you can begin to see your own faults. It's kinda like, don't point out the splinter in someone else before getting the log out of your own eye first!

When I was on Effexor I did not experience nausea, but then I usually take my meds with food. My experience with it was that I did not like the way that it made me feel. It's hard for me to explain, but let's just say that I was not feeling like myself. I also experienced sexual side effects as well. The withdrawal symptoms when going off this medication was by far the worst of any that I have ever endured. I understand that for some people, this medicine seems to work, just not for this guy.

I am on 60 mg cymbalta. I take it for chronic back pain and depression/anxiety. I have found it to be a God send! At first I was on 30 mg and took it in the mornings. I found that I was somewhat drowsy during the day, but wasn't sure if it was the meds or something else. When I was upped to 60 mg, the drowsiness during the day was almost too much. After talking to my pdoc, I am now taking it in the evenings. Of course, I have no problems sleeping, and I do not have the drowsiness during the daytime anymore. In the past, I have been on Zoloft, Wellbutrin, and Effexor. Effexor was far and away the worst medicine that I have ever been on! Cymbalta has been the best.

Ok, another update - My mother now has her hip replacement surgery scheduled for May 6th. She goes to her heart Dr. on Monday so that he can clear her for the surgery. The lease on our vehicle ran out this week. I have been working night shift this week, so I told the wife that I would be good with whatever vehicle she picks out. She found one that she likes and we bought it. I went in yesterday to sign the paperwork and get the license plates for it. We met at a fast food place so that I could see the car, and put the plates on it. I told her once again how ashamed I am of how I have behaved in the past. Of course she didn't want to hear any of that. I have realized that she is not trying to punish me for something that I have not done. Instead, she is being defensive in the event that I ever do those things again. I talked to our daughter last night on the phone. She is working on her Masters degree in social work. She told me of a local program on anger management. This sounds exactly like what the wife is wanting me to go to! I'm going to call them tomorrow to arrange for the mandatory assessment that takes place before participating in the group sessions. Wish me luck!

I was on Effexor for awhile. I hated every minute of it because of how it made me feel. The withdrawal symptoms of going off effexor were the worst too. I am now on 60 mg of cymbalta and the difference is like night and day! My only issue with cymbalta is that I have to take it in the evening because it makes me very drowsy in a few hours.

Hang in there. He cheated on you. The first time that anyone does anything is the hardest. He will cheat again. It's just a matter of time. Unfortunately, you are the one suffering this time around. Next time, the "other woman" will be the one suffering. In the long run, you are waaaaaay better off without him!

Even though you haven't blown up in a while, I am pretty sure she doesn't want you to come home, and her end up thinking everything is great, and then out of no where it happen again. Trust me, that is not a feeling to have. It makes you very resentful of your self and what you thought you knew about the person you are married to.Maybe a getaway might actually do her some good. Sounds like you two just seemed to do nothing but work around one another and then end up home with one another. Never really any self free time, understand what I mean? On top of that spending years of raising kids and working and not having a vacation does wear you down to the bone! So maybe after she gets back and she sees if she can find anything, jsut take things from there. In the mean time I thought you might want to read this, because you seem like you might be suffering from just a little anxiety about not being at home. Thank you Amie, that does help. You are exactly right about her being fearful of my coming back home and another episode occur. All I can do at this point is just give her the space that she needs.On a side note - I'm not sure why I couldn't see my previous update posts from my tablet. Now that I have a new laptop, I can see them just fine.

Update - Going to try this again as I'm not seeing my last update On Monday I asked my wife to meet me after work to talk. I asked her what needs to happen for me to come home. She said that I need to go to anger management. When she asked me to leave, I hadn't lost my temper in a long time. I feel that I'm being punished for something that I didn't do. I agreed to go anyway. I'm willing to almost anything to make things right. I looked on line, and it looks like everything offered is on line. I told her this. She asked if she found something local, would I go. I told her yes. She hasn't gotten back with me yet about it. She called me Thursday evening to tell me that she and her mom are going out of town for a three day weekend. She actually talked to me like I was a person instead of a monster! I understand that in the past I acted like a monster at times. The increase of cymbalta seems to be helping with that. Sent from my IdeaTab A2107A-F using Tapatalk

Update - I asked my wife to meet me after work last Monday to talk. I asked her what needs to happen for me to come back home. She wants me to go to anger management classes. When she asked me to leave, I hadn't lost my temper in a long time. I feel like I'm being punished for something that I didn't do. I told her that my counselor was working with me on my anger problems. I even told her that I looked on line for anger management in our area, but it seems that everything is on line these days. The state courts even accept that. She asked if she found a local one if I would go to it. I told her that I would. I know that I have had anger problems in the past. I believe that the cymbalta is helping with it. People at work have even commented that they have noticed a difference in me over the past few months. Thursday evening she called me to let me know that she and her mom are going out of town for a 3 day weekend get away. I must say that for the first time since I moved out, she talked to me like a human being instead of some kind of monster. I understand that in her eyes, I have behaved like a monster at times over the years. It was just so nice to hear her talk to me like she used to! She hasn't gotten back to me yet about local options. That's ok. When she does, I will go. I'll do anything to get our life back. Sent from my IdeaTab A2107A-F using Tapatalk

ISFJ Sent from my IdeaTab A2107A-F using Tapatalk

I don't even understand why I'm not living at home. It's not like I lost my temper this time. I so want to move back home, but I know that I need to respect her wishes too. I'm just so sad all the time now. It's now been seven weeks, but feels like forever with no end in sight. Sent from my IdeaTab A2107A-F using Tapatalk

seeker2 that's exactly what I've been thinking lately. I think that I need to give her a little more time though. At our last meeting with my counselor, she stated that she wants to get her own counselor to work out her feelings. I guess that I ought to give her at least a couple weeks for that. In the mean timr, it's ******* me daily. We not only work at the same company, we work in the same building and the same floor! She does not want to talk to me at all except if I have updates about my mom. I just don't know how much more of this I can take. Between my marriage troubles, and the problems my mom is having, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. The worst part is that I can't talk to my wife about the problems. Sent from my IdeaTab A2107A-F using Tapatalk

Thank you SoulBlade I will try that. Sent from my IdeaTab A2107A-F using Tapatalk

Forgot to mention that I have stopped smoking. Also, the "kids" are 18 & 22. Sent from my IdeaTab A2107A-F using Tapatalk

Thanks. We have been going to counseling for 3 weeks now. The counselor had me write an appology on the second visit. It didn't seem to help. She says that it's not about the smoking. She says that it's because I say that I'm going to do something, but don't. I'm at my wits end. I don't know how to show her that I've changed if I'm not around for her to see.