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Everything posted by 1i11ian

  1. 1. Learned more about my hearing aids. 2. Found a good price on eyebrow shaper. 3. Wrapped return package.
  2. 1. Prep for colonoscopy. 2. Try not to complain about prep. 3. Be grateful I can take care of my health.
  3. 1. Attended a twelve step meeting. 2. Shared experience, strength and hope. 3. Encouraged a newcomer. Best to all. Lillian
  4. Trace is right. Welcome to the Forum. Many people here do feel much the same way you do including myself. This is a safe place to discuss your feelings. Sometimes when we try to explain to "earth" people they do not know where we are coming from. They will say things like: "Just snap out of it. You shouldn't feel that way, etc." I work a twelve step program and we talk a lot about acceptance. This doesn't mean we have to like a situation (we may hate it) but it does mean we have to accept that is the way it is for the time being. There are a lot of things we can do to help the situation and many such suggestions will be found on this Forum. I cannot tell you how much good it does me just to share with like minded people here. Best to all especially you. Lillian
  5. Thank you, Trace, for your reply. Yes, I had about figured this out for myself. My diagnosis is depression, ADHD, Dyslexia and Aphasia. Best to all. Lillian Hi Lillian This dream is about control. You struggle with self control. Sometimes you can feel completely out of control and at other times you may feel like you are unable to do anything. What is your diagnosis if you don't mind me asking? I am not a professional, but this dream could represent periods of a mania and depression. Trace
  6. Sorry. I did not know that when I changed my Avatar, It changed it on all of my past posts. So this is not making any sense for this topic. My present Avatar is a Spider Lily that popped up in my yard today. Past Avatars have been Southern Magnolias, Ashe Magnolias and a Turk's Cap Lily. I will close out this topic and try to figure something else out. Thanks to all who viewed my flowers past and present and special thanks to Bleeding Heart who also loves to garden and has beautiful roses. Best to all. Lillian
  7. Very funny joke. As to understanding politics, nothing makes me more depressed than politics. Whenever something political comes on the TV (Which is all of the time,) I quickly change the channel. I want to try and keep up with the news but not the depressing news (which is most of it.) Best to all. Lillian
  8. Like I always feel: Not depressed but also not not depressed. (If that makes any sense) In limbo. Best to all. Lillian
  9. 1. Medication, I guess 2. Gardening 3. Computer research 4. Twelve Step Meetings 5. The Depression Forums Best to all. Lillian
  10. I usually dream I am driving a car very fast and the brakes don't work. Sometimes I am even driving backwards and the brakes don't work. Last night I dreamed it was the accelerator that didn't work and I couldn't move out of the way in heavy traffic. Best to all. Lillian
  11. 1. Attended a social outing with former classmates. 2. Freely conversed with several old friends. 3. Felt OK about it all.
  12. I am really happy for you. Thanks for sharing. Best to all. Lillian
  13. "I'm Not Sure I Actually Want To Be Happy" That is the depression talking.
  14. Got the numbering wrong. Should be 16 through 20.
  15. Well, since you are still standing, I'll add a few more. 13. Be sure to take your breaks (Usually 15 minutes twice a day.) Try to get out of the work place even if you just stand on the sidewalk. 14. Be sure to leave work on time. You do not have to prove you are a valuable employee by always working overtime. People will just take advantage of you and not appreciate it either. 15. It can be helpful to exercise right after work such as going to a gym (if you can afford it) or walking a few blocks or in a nearby park. This provides a transition between work and home and the resulting serotonin that is raised by the exercise will also help the transition. I will think I am too tired to exercise but when I finish, I am always refreshed. 16. Never take work home. 17. Always "leave it at the office" meaning don't even think about work at home. Good luck. Lillian
  16. So, how was it? Best to all. Lillian
  17. 1. Be on time. 2. Get your assignments in on time. 3. Be positive even if you don't feel like it. 4. Ask questions if you don't understand something. 5. Ask for feedback. 6. Take criticism as a learning tool. 7. Take failure as a learning tool. (Edison failed hundreds of times before he invented the light bulb.) 8. Set priorities. 9. Do something quick and easy first to jump start and to feel successful. 10. Get the due now assignment out of the way. 11. Start on the most important assignment in small increments. 12. Eat a good breakfast and a good lunch. 13. Keep yourself hydrated. 14. Get a good night's sleep. 15. Surround yourself with positive people whenever possible. Wow. Now that I read this it seems too overwhelming for a depressed person so just choose one or two that stand out for you and gradually add others. Best to you. Lillian
  18. I decided to completely get off my Citalopram just to see what would happen and if I could do without it. I have a lot of pain from depression and osteoarthritis especially in my neck, shoulders and back. It is like a giant sumo wrestler is sitting on my shoulders weighing me down. The main thing I noticed when the Citalopram was out of my body (and I did decrease it gradually which is what you must do,) is the pain. I understand that a side effect of antidepressants is pain relief. I immediately got right back on the Citalopram. The pain was just too great. I still have a lot of pain but not nearly as much when off the meds. Best to all. Lillian
  19. How can you get your winning percentage back up? I think it is stacked against us.
  20. I don't know what my IQ would have been if I had not had dyslexia, ADHD and aphasia. My three brothers were all valedictorians. My oldest brother attended West Point and my younger brother Georgia Tech. My youngest brother died young but had been diagnosed with Schizophrenia. I have always had difficulty with memorizing anything and especially mathematics, chemistry, etc. I never know but two telephone numbers, mine and my daughter's. Sometimes I cannot remember my zip code. I have difficulty concentrating and have to read information over and over again. As far as the aphasia, I know what I want to say but cannot say it. Usually, I have to explain a word rather than saying it. Over the years I have learned to compensate for these problems by "acting" smart. People always think I am smarter than I am. I am also an overachiever and this is both frustrating and exhausting. I guess I am trying to make up for my inadequacies. Making small talk in social settings is impossible for me because of the aphasia. I usually grab on to the gabbiest person in the room and just nod my head occasionally. However, since I have been active in a twelve step program, I am learning to accept my limitations and to be honest about who I really am. This is a great relief and being accepted by the group for who I am does wonders for my self esteem. Best to all. Lillian
  21. Oh dear. This is not a Southern Magnolia. It is an Ash Magnolia. The Ash Magnolia is a much smaller tree and is more open. It has a very large leaf and is sometimes called the Big Leaf Magnolia. At this angle, the flowers look very similar. I have planted two Ash Magnolias in my yard and neither has lived. However, I will not give up trying. The next time I change my Avatar, I will show the real Southern Magnolia. Best to all. Lillian
  22. Short Term 1. Clean out the refrigerator. 2. Get my hair cut. 3. Go through papers on the porch. Long Term 1. Apply for membership in Roots Org. 2. Go through brother's things. 3. Plant container flowers.
  23. 1. Watered the flowers. 2. Deadheaded the roses. 3. Cooked dinner.
  24. I prefer frozen yogurt to ice cream and my favorite is chocolate mint cookie. Best to all. Lillian
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