DustyRoad

Hi Jimy, You can look at this here on DF. I tell of all the trouble I had. I blame it on Lexapro in the post. But depression is bad. I was also very very tired, and had many side effects. I have an entire log. I stuck it out, and I still don't feel right. But much better than 9 months ago. Thanks and take care

Fizz, you've posted great positive advice. Answers to a few questions I asked while you were writing. Thanks. Getting outside, walking, sleeping less can make a difference.

I feel tired. Being so perpetuates more of the same. I do feel less tired than 9 months ago, feeling less so, has been VERY gradual. I often wonder if I can ever feel good again. TS what else is there when you feel exhausted. I always think I'm improving, but the tiredness continues soon enough. Now I'm here communicating on chat etc, more than before when I was too tired to even think of words to say. I'm feeling better, yes. I had a big sadness of my dog passing away. He was going on 4 YO. I miss him. I do miss taking walks with him three times a day. I had to get up out of bed to do so, and walk Mac. Everynight I think I'll just get up and walk, but lay in bed until I can make it to my job on time.

I stopped completely in Jan 2015. I stopped without any help. I'd been drinking for way over 10 years, without stopping. Once I started to lose my self control and get angery, I knew it was time to stop. Do you know it's time to stop?

I've posted lots on Lexapro. I've had two starts with the drug. The first time without SE, second with SE. Mostly as a few others have noted, I feel weak and tired, some good days and some not so okay ones still after 9 months. Changing to more is always with more tiredness. That's all for now. Good luck.

Zoot has Lexapro/Cipralex/Escitalopram all grouped together, whatever one works for you is the key. I am the Lexapro- brand-man. I started out taking the drug once again after I had a depression relaspe 9 months after stopping the med. Now after 8 months of doing a steady10 to 20 mg, I settled on 10mg a day for the past few months. The drug took many months, and was very gradual in helping me from being depressed. Now I feel mildly depressed to slightly good most days, which has just happened in the past few to several weeks. That's a positive result for me. I still feel a bit off each day, and need 9-10 hours of sleep, but I hung in there and feel an improvement. I still think over time, the drug will continue to improve my symptoms.

I find myself latching on to my dog's death as the object my depression. Before that it was something else. Does anyone else find stuff to be depressed over?

Thank You-Everyone- I'm still thinking about Mac.Just Like Wrenn said there is no greater friend on earth as a good dog. I was a good owner, thanks. Only will miss him for the rest of my life :-( . Mac was so much fun! His breed is very alert and active. Every who saw him commented on his joy and playfulness. He was a fast runner who was always looking for other dogs and squirrels. Rabit were always running away from him. Dusty

vMac's gone. He was my dog. He suddenly died. Everything in my life is now missing some part. I have no joy. Mac may not have had a bad pancreas, but I think so. The last vets that saw him didn't think so, because he was very active and wasn't sickly. In the spring, before that, I took him to the dog park. And he'd run like crazy with the other dogs for twenty minutes then would start to gag and spit up. I just thought, well I didn't know what to think, as he'd be fine right away. I stopped taking Mac to the dog park, thinking he caught some germs from the other dogs. I kept an eye on him. he still would cough up but not as bad as at the park. Then he saw the vet. The vet said to get him a walking harness to help his throat. Then of course he was very good. He coughed, spit up and got winded. I took him in to the vet, we'd be walking and he'd just lay down in August. I'd carry him back home in my arms. He seemed fine again at home. He was always ready to play. The time was in August, I carried him home from the walk around the lake, he was bad though. The next day he wouldn't go outside or walk around or eat or drink. Plus he hadn't gone potty for three days. In fact he wasn't eating or drinking at all. He just laid in his bed. During the day I was at work. Marizete said he was whimpering. When I got home he was just moaning in pain. I already made a appointment. I then asked if he should be put down. The vet took x-rays. He had signs of one lung having an pneumonia. He moaned when his stomach was pressed. They gave him an anti-biotic, morphine drops and a cough suppressant and a shot of fluids in his back. He wasn't a happy dog. Then, the meds helped, and all was fine again. Remember that was in August 2015. The Dx was pancreatitis. I believe that was a good dx. All his symptoms fit exactly at the time. We changed to a low fat diet. Then in December he started to show me that he was getting the same way. He got a few meds, got well very quickly. The vet said I caught him before he got really bad, like he did in August. We gave him, ID food, and it was the answer, plus Pepcid. All was great again. He would still breathe in heavy gulps when playing. It was winter so he didn't run outside. He was okay as far as I could see. Then in early January he wouldn't walk normally. It was like a stiff neck. Vet saw that his ear was badly infected. Why? no answers. Again antibiotics and a shot of whatever and they said to give him the morphine drops for the pain. He was in such pain too. He got well. Soon all was almost, back to normal with Mac Boy. I remember he started to regurgitate right after drinking water. I didn't see him do this before, but he stopped that soon enough or it wasn't constant. But that's when I think his esophagus was infected also. He might of had a tight muscle there too. On hindsight, I think he had both problems developing all the time. So he'd effortlessly spit up when eating or drinking, but then get it down like a normal Mac. The minute he got the least bit excited he'd cough. Then I was told he had a birth defect,namely a narrow esophagus. That the tube you eat and breathe through. It got infected, and he died. I still can't come to grips with the truth. He was my boy. So here I sit writing, which helps somehow. I suffer from depression. I feel so sad. Help. At times I just can't believe

HELLO! ZOOT and Birch!

It's fun to

Wake up hints- well I just started a all natural sleeping aid. Seems to work, but I can't advocate them as I might be getting used to the med instead. Other than that I gp to bed before 9.

The brain is a place where our mind lives. The brain has all these connections, a zillion and a half at least, so says RB, that click and clock, back and forth, dancing to and fro making the heart beat, your nose itch, your eyes blink without even a thought. Yet here I sit scratching my scalp thinking of ways to get out of bed, and feel refreshed on wake-up call each morning. Thinking why the mind didn't get out of bed, and put on the jeans laying next to me, before someone washed them, with my iPhone in the pocket. The mind blames the brain for being an unfuctioning, not-so-remarkable turd. :coophaha:

I used to hate the sun setting earlier. Every year the same lack of light at 7:30 was a let down. This is the first time I like the sun setting sooner. I do feel better each day, and maybe the change signifies an element of the seasons changing along with less sadness for me. I would have used the D word but I want to forget it. Maybe you'll fine a fall romance. Assuming you aren't married. That will capture you. :bear_wub: I think you can still be romantic once married, also.

Smelling like pancakes

I'm happy about the fall coming. It's cooler. It was so hot until a week ago in NJ. Now at least it's a nice temp. I know about the SAD effect, and I do get that too sometime after Dec. i think it get's to me by then. I still hanging in at 20mg. It's been just over a month of a steady 20 m g. Guessing that I'm feel better. I called the doc for an up bump, but said I have to actually see her, which is Oct 6. No emergency. Funny that I don't feel upset that I wasn't actice all summer long. Hope your Cold is going away! My I phone 5 got washed today.....seems it did upset me, but I got over it, and bought a used one. Anxiety wasn't too bad about that which must be the med working. It's a good med for that.

My suggestion, now that you've come to grips with your feeling of having a crush on your boss, is that it might be best to talk to a therapist about keeping a tighter check on your emotions and using more self control when needed rather than being rude. A job is more important than being all worked up over a nice boss that is nice in many ways to you and others. It's not uncommon to have a crush on someone. It's not even a bad thing. Having a crush and being rude to your boss, isn't the best way to keep working.

I'm not on Lexapro now, though I used to be. But I notice with SSRIs that for me personally, every time I boost the dose, I feel some level of side effects just like when first going on the medication. For example, I had awful tinnitus/ringing in the ears at 75mg of Zoloft which went away in about 3 weeks, but when I went up to 100mg of Zoloft, I had to deal with some tinnitus/ear-ringing again. Everyone's body is so different though, you could feel all of your start-up side effects again OR almost none. True enough. I have that tinnitus all the time. I don't know if it's from the meds. I've had it for years, and I've been on lexapro for years too. Except for when I stopped. After this relapse it's been the hardest days of my life. Yet I always hear that humming.

Just remember not to drive with alcohol.

ARD, Good Plan. El8ed, Sorry to hear your day is off to the flats.

I usually explain that depression is a condition and not a choice.

Tell them that I've been feeling so down for so long that I would love to have pancreatic cancer.