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About mbird

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  • Birthday 07/23/1984

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  1. I have a partner I've thought of as wonderful, who has been supportive during this whole mess. The past few days, a nasty thought that has occasionally been popping into my head has become nagging and persistent. I'm convinced that somehow this whole relationship is a joke, a joke on me. I'm sure that it's all a lie, that it's some sort of twisted social experiment that I just haven't been smart enough to see for what it is. I can't look at him, I'm convinced, *convinced* that he wants to hurt me, screw with my head and somehow humiliate me. It doesn't make rational sense, but I hurt so much that my body aches, and it's all stuff that's been resolved or isn't "true." Am I finally going off the deep end? Is there something to this?
  2. I'm pretty seriously depressed. Taking a year-long leave of absence from grad school, trying to get through every day without going completely nuts. I'm surprised by how not ok I am and am trying to accept that this is how things are for now. I have a great partner, we've been together about a year and he's just been the bright spot in my life through this mess. He has been so good to me, better than my own family was last time I was depressed. I'm at his house nearly all the time, mostly stopping at my apartment to get the occasional item. My housemate doesn't like being alone, but I can't be at the house because I spiral out of sanity really badly when I'm alone over night. The lease is in my name through May, Part of me just wants to sublet my room and move in with my partner. He is totally enthusiastic about it and encouraging me to do what I think will be best for me and my health. Little things stress me out, though. The idea of moving the rest of my stuff, negotiating dates and deadlines, dealing with my (horribly mean) landlords, trying to integrate my stuff into my partner's household all feel completely overwhelming. We were planning on moving in together in May anyway, but for some reason this feels like too much right now. My depression has made it hard for me to think and make decisions thoughtfully so I'm not sure I'm thinking rationally about this. Does anyone have any thoughts?
  3. I was on citalopram, have gone off it and am working on getting back on meds asap. Good to know, though that if things drop off for a couple of weeks, it won't keep up. Thanks!
  4. I've had a Mirena (hormonal) IUD for about 6 months now and I LOVE it. It hasn't been a problem with my migraines or depression, cramping went away in about 3 weeks and hasn't come back, I have a much lighter and less frequent period. I know I'm protected as well as I can be and it was much less expensive over 5 years than continuing with the pill would be. And my libido has actually increased. Everyone's different, there's also the copper IUD which isn't hormonal, maybe some have better luck with that? Otherwise, I know some friends love the nuvaring.
  5. Hi all, So...I'm female and did the internet dating thing until I met my current partner about a year ago. There are some things to consider, especially for guys trying internet dating. First of all, as a female, any female, you get way more messages than you could possibly respond thoughtfully to. The first day I had my OKCupid profile up I had more than 10 messages, and that was before I put a picture up. Over time, the inbox just gets overwhelming and a lot of messages get ignored. A lot of women complain that people send messages without reading their profiles. I know it always caught my attention when someone had clearly read my profile and had something thoughtful to say. A lot of people are busy, it's hard to find time or energy for a date. I know when I had dates I often had more than one in a relatively short space of time, making it less likely that any one would stick out unless they were particularly extraordinary. I don't know of people who have profiles just for attention, but I do know a lot of people who get so much attention they don't know what to do with it and can't keep up with responding to everyone. Other things to note: Inappropriate pictures will get you dismissed in most cases and possibly reported. Being stalker-ish will also not work. By this I mean jumping on the person for chat everytime you see them online, sending messages constantly, pushing for a real-life meeting, etc. I'm not saying you've done any of this, just making sure that I point out stuff that's surprisingly common and really unfortunate. Internet dating is completely a numbers game. It's something you just keep working at until it works, messaging, chatting, meeting until it works with someone. If it makes you feel bad, maybe it's time to give it a break for a little while.
  6. Hi all, I'm curious about people's experiences related to managing or reducing sexual side effects of antidepressants. Did switching drugs help? Adding anything? Anyone on a drug they don't have these side effects with? Thanks!
  7. Hi all, I, like so many of you, have been struggling with another nasty cycle of depression over the past few months. It's been really hard on all of my relationships, but most especially on my relationship with my partner. I know that having someone you love going through this is scary and challenging. I also know that my partner works very hard to support me, even though I am often not in a place where I am able to feel or receive his love and support. I'm wondering if we can generate ideas about how we might offer love to the people who love us, how we might show that we haven't forgotten them, even when sometimes we can't feel their love and when the depression seems bigger than everything. Simple things we can probably mange even when we're overwhelmed and lacking motivation. Partners who support those with depression, I'd love to hear what you think, too! Here are some things I've come up with so far: - ask how the day was and listen when they tell me - give hugs and cuddles spontaneously when I do feel like it, try hard not to pull away even when I want to - tell them I love them - thank them for the things they do to help take care of me when I don't do it for myself - tell them clearly what I need so that they know what they can do What are your thoughts?
  8. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  9. Thank you for the welcome! I'm relieved to be here.

  10. I have to admit I was surprised to tick every box. But, I find it reassuring that what I'm feeling is the depression and isn't necessarily a reflection of reality. It doesn't mean we're doomed, it means I'm having a hard time. I hope I can move out of this a little bit to get some perspective, but we're very temporarily long distance (2 months) and I'm sure that makes everything worse. *sigh* If only I didn't cycle through depression every couple of years. I would have my life so much more under control.
  11. Actually, the same thing did happen to me, for about...maybe 2 or 3 months after I stopped taking the drug I'd get those dizzy spells. You're not alone! But they *did* stop eventually.
  12. Welcome to DF!!

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