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will59

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will59 last won the day on April 14 2012

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About will59

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  1. You're so kind, thank-you. It did help quite a bit to hear that. I am trying to be easier on myself this week.
  2. I do really owe it to myself to be more proactive about this. I keep track of all the things I have to do but I don't plan out my days and I definitely think it would help me if I did. I do sometimes run into a problem that I simply have no choice but to work, or I wont meet a deadline and doing that means getting a complete zero but I am trying to get that work done more efficiently, though it's got a lot more difficult recently. I have lacked exercise this week so I should make an effort to get out more. I treated myself to a cup of tea in town today; I knew if I didn't see sunlight all day it would really effect my motivation so I gave myself that. Thank-you so much for your response.
  3. I've always found myself falling into that trap. I escalate things because of how much arguments affect my own emotions. As you can probably tell, I'm no expert but it's helped recently to try and just stop and distance myself the moment disagreements occur and then try to discuss it more constructively when she and I feel better but this a little cliche and sometimes hit and miss. I agree with Fizzle; there's no magic fix but it can certainly get better. I hope this helps just a little
  4. Hello, I sent this to the counselling service at university but they only respond on Thursdays and I was hoping for some insight before then. I understand that I'm on the significantly less serious side of the spectrum in this forum and I'm sorry for that but this is affecting my daily life and it's getting worse at the moment and I'm not sure what to do. I'm feeling quite stressed recently and I'm finding it really hard to find a balance with my work and relationship and everything else. I'm finding this year's lectures quite difficult and I'm spending a lot of time going back over content to try and get a better understanding but it's taking a toll on me. I think I'm less confident about my studies than I was. I get concerned about my assignments and it's taking me so long to complete them, barley finishing before the deadline (1 hour before). I did well in the last year and the pressure I've put on myself to keep that up is quite difficult to manage. If I don't understand a lecture it sends my whole day into a downward spiral and if I do badly on an assignment it can affect my week. I find myself trying to work all the time and I don't allow myself much time for anything else. I see my girlfriend often but I find it difficult to work with her, though I do manage. She's also really unhappy with the amount of work I do do currently. I get stressed not knowing whether she'll want to see me or not on the days I know I've got lots of work to do. She lives 20 minutes away by foot and I'm often going to her house after university and then getting to my house at 10-11pm to go straight to bed only to wake up again usually around 7am and start the whole process again. My diet is slipping and my food choices are getting lazier and less nourishing. My room is messy because I just don't have the time to do anything about it. It takes me a while to fall asleep and it has got a little worse though it has always taken me around 30 minutes to sleep since I was young so this isn't too out of the ordinary. I have been feeling a bit sad when I get into bed recently. Self injury has been cropping up in my mind recently but it's more frustration that I it's not so much an option these days because of my girlfriend than anything. It's what I'd usually turn to in the past when I get into this situation. I'm just overwhelmed by all of my work and I don't know how to make time for everything. I understand that I haven't got a good balance but I don't know how to improve it. I want to find a rhythm with my work, being able to find time for other things, but also feeling more comfortable and confident about my work. I want to be able to find time where I can just relax and not feel the need to be doing something all the time. I'm doing okay and I'm certainly not any sort of danger to myself but I really just want to enjoy my time and I'm not doing so at the moment. Thank-you for listening, I appreciate it, will59
  5. Thank-you, this is really nice. I am spending too much time alone at the moment but hopefully that will improve soon. I thought it would be even slightly comforting to feel like this but it isn't like last time. I've tried walking lots and listening to music and reddit but it isn't helping, it's just passing time. Everyone says exercise or do something that you'll enjoy but it's all a bit too pointless at the moment. Because I'm not working that efficiently, I need to spend a long time sat at my desk to do the tiniest amount of work. This exam isn't that important but it's all I really have. Again, thank-you for the kind words; I will try to do something about this.
  6. Hey, I guess I'm just gonna right this one out of me; excuse the rant. I'm just quite lonely at the moment and there's looming exams which are making me feel on edge and stupid. I've recently gone to university but I'm back now for the holidays. The only thing I'm really good at is my subject but, as I premeditated, now I'm at university in the mix with people equal and better than me that manage to have hobbies and skills and genuine interests, I'm not feeling so proud. No one really wants to talk to me and I don't know what to do in the day. It all feels a bit pointless at the moment. It's not even like I can blame this on anything; I am a lazy individual and other people have told me how lazy and boring I know I am, it isn't just me that thinks this. I have no abilities. It's nothing I can't manage, it just feels sour. I don't feel terrible though, just muted; I wouldn't go as far as say I'm suffering really just a little upset at times. Sorry for the direction less post.
  7. Thank you for the thoughtful response, I really appreciate it. I might consider asking for a little bit of help at university; my future university does seem quite proactive itself in that respect which I suppose is reassuring.
  8. My emotions are quite muted really. I do have very mild emotions but I don't really understand them and I often spot how I'm feeling physically rather than mentally if that makes sense.
  9. I'm a bit late but I worry about this too. Whenever I'm in the holidays (like now) I worry that my brain will become damaged by the inactivity and that I'll just forget everything from school and have to start all over again.
  10. For quite a long time now (3 years) I've pretty much held academic performance as the only significant part of my identity. It is therefore far too important to me and when things go wrong I just feel stupid and generic. When people outperform me I feel completely beneath them in all aspects because there is nothing unique about me. This has been okay and I do seem to do fairly well in exams (quite above average but nothing to shout about and mostly down to my pained determination) but I always feel like I'm running to achieve my goals and one day I'll just trip. I don't feel content such that I can just relax. I'm worried about the future a bit and how I'll perform at university. I often procrastinate everything from getting out of bed to brushing my teeth, reading a book, watching a film, doing some work, looking up information online, etc which is a bit annoying but that's my fault. I feel like I should be doing some work right now so that I don't forget all the maths I've learnt, ready for university, which I probably should be doing some but I haven't. I feel guilty quite often for not doing more. I'm just asking if anyone can tell me how I'll cope best at university? So many people who have amazing hobbies will outperform me whilst trying less hard and I don't know how I'd feel about that. I'm beginning to feel quite squeezed and a little high strung at times to achieve what I want even though the feeling of achievement is mostly short lived. Sorry to ramble. This makes me seem in a worst place than I am. I'm not trying to exaggerate. I'm not even close to any anxiety disorders, this is just a significant enough problem to me I guess. Not overwhelming usually, just stopping me from really living my life properly I guess.
  11. I have been with my girlfriend for about 1.5 years now and at times we are happy but for me about half of happiness drowned out but she still comforts me and I still need her. She appears to be anorexic and depressed with both general and social anxiety. I try to be considerate of her and help her but I just don't know what to do about it. I'm not an absolute stranger to problems but nothing to this degree but I do understand that I don't understand. It's just at what point is the line drawn between depression and just being mean and hurtful. She can be quick to mock me but them also see me as better than her. I have tried everything to help her. She always compares us to the everyone else's superficial relationships. She has become unable to do most things out of her home such as coming over to my house. She always bring every conversation to food food food and how she's fat which I understand is very real to her but everyday it just I wake up and see texts sent by her at 6am sending a bulldoser through my day. She can be sweet too though and I don't want to loose her but she just doesn't want to help herself and it's grown so toxic and all I can do is pretend I'm all smiley and positive because I have nothing to say when she talks endlessly about everything. She's admitted to possibly liking some amount of attention. She's been suicidal at times and it's horrible and she doesn't want me to talk to anyone about her and I have never known when at what point should call police (never had to so far but got close...). I don't even know the reason for this post, I just had to get something written down (sorry for being over-dramatic, I know she goes through so much pain I just don't know how to help and nothing changes in the long run because she doesn't want to get better), Thanks, William
  12. I always listen to music and it really can make me feel awesome even when I'm stressed and sad and I would love to see what you guys listen to... alternrock metal pop classical romantic indie whatever. I'll start, Breaking Benjamin - What lies beneath Pierce the Veil - I don't care if you're contagious La Dispute - Such small hands Bring Me The Horizon - The sadness will never end Sunny Day Real Estate - In Circles Brand New - Vices Hope you all have a good day, Will
  13. Content Stable Fatalistic Tense Distant Uncontent
  14. I'm still at school and nearly all of my summer holidays (6 weeks Mon-Sun) have been just me and sometimes my sister; didn't see a single 'friend' most years. But things get better; more people are seeing me and I couldn't have guessed that a year ago so things really can surprise you for the better with patience. Hope everyone has a good day :). Sorry if this isn't helpful
  15. Difficult question... It can be both for me or more that being alone doesn't help and makes me feel weird but being in large groups quickly quickly wears me thin
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