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E5otericChris

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  1. While I do agree with what you've said (The_unwanted) It's also true to say that the girl in your story can either stop her life and focus on the new pain or she can carry on new scars and all. Same with the guy he can either focus on the thoughts of worthlessness or he could carry on the rest of his life even if he never finds someone. It doesn't mean his life is worthless. Depression seems to me to be nature's stop button. Perfectly functional outside of society but not in our day to day lives. I'm referring mainly to mild depression, motivational issues and low self esteem not to serious episodes or manic depression. We can stop and focus on all our pain or we can carry on, as long as we strive to make good choices for ourselves and others there isn't much more I feel I can do. I'm not perfect and I'll probably never have all the things I want. But I've got plenty to think about and do right now so I'd sooner spend my energy getting on with it even if I feel bad. Or even if I hate myself, it's no reason to stop. The only good reason to stop is when something really bad is happening now. For most of us (I hope) that time has passed. For everyone else my heart goes out, I know what it's like to live in real pain, but we are the survivors.
  2. Before I started distance training I'd eat a lot unfortunately a lot of it went into fat. Now that I'm training distance even my metabolism has shrunk a bit, at first I was even more hungry, I'd eat a full fry up every morning, now I can get by on around 2000 calories with a burn of around 400kl on work days and 600kl plus on training days. Its better not to starve, as long as you know the basics like cutting out sugar and trying to increase nutrient density in your meals you can eat steak, ice cream (occasionally) and pasta and still lose weight, its slow but its more stable. I think you've got it sorted ;-)
  3. I'm currently training long distance running (very good for moods) and eating mainly paleo with more carbs thrown in as I need them as I walk at work and run when I can. If I eat healthy and work out I'd say there is a 10% approx improvement in my mood, that wont throw you into despair if you miss out but it can be useful in the long term if you stick to it, it isn't a cure, it does help you just need to keep it in perspective, it might help certain people more than others but I can't image any more than 30% for the most unfit/ unhealthy people. Its a good start though. I find that strength training doesn't have the same mood effect as running and only improved my mood slightly due to the extra strength I felt, again it could be different for others. 5k races can be good fun especially if you have a partner! Its important to support each other. Compared to every other thing I've tried via self help its one of the most effective and has continued to be consistently effective over time, it does hurt though and it does suck to get up a 5am to go running at 6 :-/
  4. Glad to hear that your doing well right now.
  5. Thank you for all the replies. I haven't taken any medication for a long while, I find a diet close to Paleo to be just as good as the meds where without the brain fog, shakes and yawning, I go running for the extra zap lol will be training towards a 10k soon as I've run a few 5ks with my fiance now, I think those two things have been better than any meds. I've been through the whole tell people part, I think that if you have a major depressive episode that it can help but I'm really just dealing with bad days, malaise and mild depression now really. I already moved out of the bad environment too, it took a lot of strength at the time, looking back though I wasted more time trying to cure myself and the things that have really helped me came outside of therapy in most cases, it was just hard to accept that I was capable of good things when I felt so low. All the time I spent focusing on my illness and explaining it to others hasn't brought me anything, it might be different for women as I assume you may get more support for mentioning said things but as a man I haven't experienced that. Today was my first day trying this and every time I felt low and like I wanted to let my depression take over I just ignored it and carried on, I didn't care if I felt bad at work or scared or any other negative thing I just focused on trying to do the things that I wanted to do and accepted that I might feel bad no matter what I try, overall I felt slightly worse than when I try to manage my moods all the time but still better than a bad day at home sleeping and eating all day. I tried to think of how I would behave if I didn't have what I think of as depression, then tried to go with that. I'm pretty sure Winston Churchill did the same with his famous (Black Dog) and I'm a big fan of Winston for more than one reason. It's just took me until now to realise that not one single thing will cure me and it will more likely to get better in degrees through the things that I do day to day every day. I think sometimes the labeling of depression and the search for the cure can be very disabling for people who may have or are currently getting better on there own. I think the whole thing needs tipping on its head but if people still want the cure all the time and I've been one of them we lose some focus on the things that really help us in our own lives. I just hope that I can win more battles when I lose and know to be supportive and understanding of myself while I do this :-)
  6. I managed to get through a whole day without constantly trying to control my depression and moods and although I feel a bit worse than normal at the end of the day I also feel as though I've gotten through in a more natural way and taken the first step towards truly living with my condition and not having it define me. Hope everyone is having super successful days!!!!
  7. Well said Dicenvice the middle ground is the best place it's hard to find that sweet spot and your right we need to work on issues but not to the point of obsession.
  8. Well said Dicenvice the middle ground is the best place it's hard to find that sweet spot and your right we need to work on issues but not to the point of obsession.
  9. I think everyone should have a look at cognitive therapy once in regards to more rational thinking over negative thinking. That said it's hard to beat old habits at least it was for me. Being positive is something that we can only really do in such a complex world a little at a time. I'd give a cup full of positive for a bucket full of alright any day of the week. :-) people pushing positive thinking all the time are all very strange people and probably just as helpful as super models pushing diet pills. It's good to think positively on occasion but too hard to keep doing against reality for ever, better to think rationally when you can and accept that you will have negative and positive thoughts each day. You could try to notice your thoughts and write down all the negative, rational and positive thoughts (that you can remember) you can then see where you are lacking. It's possible to have a balanced outlook and still think you are more negative. I hope you can come to a conclusion about positive thoughts, but do you know anyone who has positive thoughts all the time? I don't. ;-)
  10. I'm curious, I've never had much luck with pills and cures, diet and exercise only seems to help a bit I'm kind of coming to the realisation that I might just have depression at times for the rest of my life. I'm wondering if I can just carry on as if I don't have it and try my best, if I need to cry, I'll cry. If I need support I'll reach out. I'll try to live the best life that I can depressed or not depressed. Maybe the only way to really get over depression is to learn to live with it. If it goes away completly then great but if it doesn't then I'll carry on anyway as if it wasn't there. I won't act depressed simply because I am depressed! I'll act as if I'm not depressed even if I break down in public even if cry myself to sleep I won't let depression change my life. Any one else feel like this?
  11. Hey everyone. I'm new here but I was having a bad day and really wanted to share, I've been quite lonely lately with my problems. The day started ok. I didn't have any work so I figured that I would play some computer. But after several hours I was just angry with myself for wasting my time. Then I watched some anime with the same reaction. Finally I started thinking about how my family had helped to make me this way and I started getting flashbacks of the time my uncle nearly strangled me to death when I was only 8 or 9. Then I thought about revenge a lot and getting even with him. Finally I decided to avoid that side of the family as I've had other issues with other members about other things and is just not worth the agro. Not a very good day. Anyone had a nice day? Could do with hearing how others people's day has gone. Sorry to those who have also had bad days, hopefully there are more good days to come :-)
  12. HI I don't normally write on these but I thought it was important this time around to share my feelings and thoughts with everyone. I feel like I've taken on to much, I feel like I could be at risk this time. I've broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago (I don't want to get back together), haven't heard back from a potential date that was supposed to happen this Thursday, the temporary work that I had has dried up and I'm angry at everyone around me as their luck always seems to leave them with less wounds to lick. I fed up of having such a dramatic life, it seems that the harder you fight and try the more tragedy you invite. I'm not going to self harm but I do want to die because I don't feel like I have the energy to find a new girlfriend and get my work life sorted, it seems that things only go right for me for a few months at best and either something mildly catastrophic is happening either with my work life, my love life or my home life. I just want a year of a steady medium. I should also mention that I like to change therapy styles quite often if I don't see improvements, I just got off a bad one and onto a better mindfullness therapy. I just want a girlfriend a job and my own home. I don't see that its too much to ask for a 30 year old who never quits and has picked himself up off the floor more times that I will ever be able to remember.
  13. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  14. Just a quick idea I had (long suffering depressed person) though it might be nice to write out the things that I wanted to say and then put it out there either for people to see or as discussion, going to see if this has any effect on my day to day. What I want to say entry 1: I want to be able to share my time with other people, I want to be able to reach out and just touch someone elses life easily and without any hesitation. I don't know why I'm here or what I'm supposed to be doing, I wish we all lived in a different world where there wasn't so much hatred, I just wish that I wasn't so much of a coward. I wish that I had a voice and that I could move others to greater things, I wished that I had a fire in my heart that made me care about everyone and everything. I don't want anyone to be scared anymore. Hopefully write more in another entry, if anyone wants to do the same, maybe start with a pad and pen as I did, don't know if it will work at all yet. Maybe it will help. Chris.
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