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Daisy Duke

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Everything posted by Daisy Duke

  1. I disassociate and then panic because I feel seperated from reality which makes the dissasociation even worse.
  2. I guess we all have bad thoughts and urges sometimes but it's whether we act on them that matters.
  3. I haven't been on DF for AGES. There's so many new names!! So I'm suffering anxiety, fatigue, very low mood. I have withdrawn, isolated myself and my mind is whizzing, analyzing my behaviour and what I need to do to help myself. I work 18 hours a week, am married with a 12 year old daughter. I mostly manage okay, I havent had a serious episode for about 9 months. My job is causing me a lot of stress and I am looking for something else. The thing is I am so lonely, and even though given the choice I would just stay in my house 24/7 I think it would really help me to do 'something'. As I havent been feeling too good I emailed my therapist who suggested activites to help me feel grounded and to connect with people. I constantly look into different things I could do and make plans but then never follow through. You know like volunteering, a sport, a singing group or lesson. Does anyone else have this problem and gotten through it? What did you do and what activity did you try and did you do it on your own? Daisy Duke
  4. Thank you for posting that. What you said is just how I feel. So desensitized its scary. I am trying to make changes so hopefully time will help me too.
  5. I am married and have a daughter but I feel so lonely. My depression makes me isolate myself, I retreat into myself and dissasociate. At the moment I feel wretched, lonely and anxious but I have DF for which I am very grateful.
  6. Gosh this topic is depressing!! :verysad3:
  7. I have two - the lack of feeling I have for the people I love most in the world caused by my depression. And the feeling that my soul is trying to escape from my body. Exactly what Avian said earlier. I often feel utterly wretched, like I want to vomit this disease out of myself.
  8. 1. I did some grocery shopping 2. I posted my dvd back to lovefilm 3. I took my doggies for a walk
  9. Thanks you guys, I will persevere!! Havent done any this week. You have motivated me to carry on with them. Rachel - you made me laugh out loud with your 'ahhhhh i LOVEEEEEE CBT sheets'. Bless ya. Daisy
  10. Dear all, Thank you all so much for your replies. They have all really helped me and I'm so grateful. To hear different perspectives on what I was thinking is eye-opening - well mind-opening really. Thanks again Daisy Duke
  11. My therapist gave me these sheets to complete to record feelings, triggers and then to work out the 'hot thought'. Something like - the thought, then what does this say about me if this is true? This is to assist with CBT therapy. The thing is I feel like a fool filling in these sheets. I am 37 years old and find myself sitting there writing things like 'I'm so fat and ugly', 'I'm so lonely', 'she doesnt like me' etc etc and it makes me feel like I am whining child. I feel embarrassed writing such drivel. Has anyone else used these sheets? I know it's a tool and it's like digging to get to the core beliefs but you see so many people with such terrible problems that they live with it makes you feel like a self-centred immature being. Daisy
  12. I have come to the conclusion that depression, and trying to heal it, is like peeling an onion. You peel off, and get rid of, one layer only to find a fresh one underneath. I've been in therapy for many years now and work really hard to help myself. My therapist and I have worked on so many things and resolved them to the point where they don't hurt me anymore. The thing is that then, in time, another trigger comes along and bam theres a new layer of the onion to peel. Every time you come to a new layer it doesn't get any easier. Sometimes it's quite a shock that there are things you are living with that are oppressing you and you didn't even realise it. I have things I have/need to deal with at the moment that make me who I am, you know - behaviours and what I would call 'my nature'. My therapist believes that these behaviours, that I feel make up my nature, are problematic and intergral to my mental health problems. I find it very scary to think about changing my nature as I am very kind and compassionate. I need to be more selfish which to me is very negative. Having said that I do appreciate why, and I do agree, but it's just that changing ones core beliefs and core behaviours/mannerisms is a very daunting challenge. It scares the crap out of me to be honest but I know it's what I need to do. Tiny steps, tiny steps Thanks DF for being here to allow me to share my feelings with others that get what I am talking about and can appreciate how I feel inside. Daisy Duke
  13. Hi KIT My questions are the same as addict1968 - do you have support like a therapist or regular visits to the GP/psychiatrist? I have suffered depression on and off for years but with support it often goes so I am in remission. Then stressers get too much and I relapse. If you have been suffering with no respite for seven years that must be so hard. Best wishes Daisy Duke
  14. Hi Noah, I have two chihuahuas and boy do they cheer me up! Crazy little gremlins they are and I just love em. Daisy
  15. Dear sandcrab, Just wanted to say I'm really glad your session went well, stick with it. Well done daisy duke
  16. some guy You've been through a very traumatic and emotional time which took great courage to get through and come out the other side. Don't beat yourself up about how you're feeling, great trauma brings feelings of upset, sadness, despair etc.. Your body and mind need to calm down and settle. Look after yourself, take time to recover. I agree with DreamAgain that you may need to some additional support in this. Best wishes Daisy Duke
  17. John79 I just wanted to say hello and welcome to DF. Best wishes Daisy Duke
  18. Hi ivy I'm holding my own just now. I have been taking quetiapine for about two weeks and it has definately lifted my mood so fingers crossed. I'm sort of in that place between depression and reality which is weird but not massively unpleasent. It makes me very tired but that should wear off. Hang in there everyone, thanks for being there. Daisy Duke xx
  19. I had a lot of anger in the past towards various members of my family. I investigated lots of ways of letting them know this but you know some people just deny all knowledge and make out it's you and your illness, that you're imagining that they havent even done anything wrong. Which can make you even more angry. I have worked through this with my therapist and it has taken a long time. I think I now am able to get across to the people concerned how they made/make me feel and now the main culprit has nothing to do with me which is fine.
  20. I hate this time of year. Everyone always says that Spring makes you feel better but not me, it's the spike of my depression and I very often have an annual mental breakdown around march. I believe this is quite common for people sensative to depression and mental health difficulties.
  21. Hi Nibs Yes my problems started at the age of 11, I remember feeling 'weird' not as in myself a weirdo but actual feelings that made me feel like an outsider. My parents issues at home really kicked off when I was 11 and of course I began my first year at secondary school which I remember being utterly terrifying and hideous. I remember crying at school whilst walking round the school field, other kids teasing me and crying at home. It was pretty awful and only got worse! These memories caused me an awful lot of problems until I had some EMDR therapy (I'm now 37). This therapy is used to treat post traumatic stress syndrome and I found it really helped me to leave these memories where they should be - in the past.
  22. I feel happy when I see my little dogs every day, they make me feel happy even on my darkest times.
  23. Hmmm yes, well theres genetics, the family nurturing (or lack of it) contributing factors, life experiences, stress, peers, media, and our spiritual side. So that's mega loads of things that could contribute to mental illness. Mind-boggling.
  24. I take 200mg of Sertraline and it's the only med I've found that has helped me without side effects. My depression is quite severe and I sometimes there are periods of time I have to take Seroquel along with it (50mg) to feel better. So stick with it I really hope if lifts you. Daisy Duke
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