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thistoowillpass

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  1. Difficult day. Got a letter from my sister-in-law that was hard to deal with. We've had problems over the past year. She lives abroad and before the pandemic, she had a bunch of stuff delivered from Amazon and other online stores to my house, for me to bring to her when I traveled. But then travel stopped. I packed up and shipped what I could (books and clothes), but some of the items were not allowed to be shipped (cosmetics, liquids, anything containing alcohol). It's been a source of contention since. I know I made a commitment to get these things to her, but that was before pandemic, travel restrictions, and a war in her region (of the middle east) that has all made it very unlikely that I'm going to travel to see her. I just want forgiveness for promising something that now I can't deliver.
  2. Hi Natasha - Yes, he probably did bring up divorce while he was feeling super stressed and anxious. Maybe he didn't mean it, but then I thought about it and it seemed like... it made some sense. We have another appointment with the counselor in a couple of weeks. (It's expensive for us, since our insurance isn't covering it.) Both our kids are "sort of" out of the house. They tend to boomerang back now and then. I have friends my age and I see that they are able to make that transition into being empty nesters and still get along well with their spouses. I'm not sure we can do that.
  3. My husband of 24 years and I are not getting along. It seems we have little in common after all. The kids are grown up and don't need us any more. My parents are very old and do need me. I could move overseas to live with them. I think about that a lot. I'm tired of living in the US. Even though I do have citizenship, this is not my original country. The rest of my family is back home. If things don't work out with my husband, I could leave. My kids will visit me overseas. The main problem, honestly, would be custody of the dog. We both love her very much. I guess she would stay in the states though I would miss her a lot. Anyway, my husband and I argue a lot. He is having a nervous breakdown, he says, and has threatened to commit suicide. Clearly, we are not good for each other's mental health. Not sure where to start though. He said he wanted a divorce, but then when we went to see a counselor, he said he changed his mind. There may be a period of uncertainty; I guess wait and see is the only thing for now.
  4. I was wondering if anyone has read A Course in Miracles (ACIM) and done some of the lessons. Has it helped with anxiety and depression? Throughout my day, I try to remember to listen to the higher spirit. I'm not always successful at that. Please share your thoughts and experiences, as it would be helpful. Thank you.
  5. I started on Viibryd at 10 mg last week. This week (starting on Sunday) I went up to 20 mg. For the past two days, I've had stomach cramps. I'm not sure whether it could be the Viibryd or a virus. My husband also has some stomach cramps, which points to a virus, but mine are worse. I am taking Viibryd with food. I'll try tracking when the stomach cramps start, to see if there is a specific time-relation to when I take the Viibryd. Has anyone else had bad stomach cramps (and other gastrointestinal problems) from taking Viibryd?
  6. Having a partner or spouse who is depressed is very difficult. Its possible that women are more open to seeing a therapist or doctor for depression. It may be more difficult for men, even when they know they need help. I don't know the level of love and commitment between the two of you. In many cases, it is worth while to stay with someone through depression and keep the communication open, if possible. Right now, he is in a dark place and cannot reach out to you. He cannot actually feel his feelings, let alone express them. Will the feelings come back? They may, especially if he can get help. There are resources online, and links on this site, explaining the physical underpinnings of depression. Realizing that it is an illness may help him feel OK about seeing a doctor. Personally, I am not a fan of ultimatums and cutting people off. I've been on the receiving side of that several times. In my own experience, having been told by my parents that I was cut off and "excommunicated," I took it seriously and removed myself from them. I've always been able to detach from my feelings and go cold; it's the warming up that hurts. Years later, my parents reached out to me, but it was hard to recreate the bond between us.
  7. Thank you. That's a very helpful response. I think I will try to taper more gradually towards the end, as you suggest. I have read about neuroplasticity. Good reminder about that.
  8. I have not always taken medication for my depression and anxiety. I was off meds from 2010 through 2015, but then started again when I was having trouble coping with work stress. I feel like my career has stabilized to a degree where I can try to go without regular medication. I've been talking to my therapist about it. She's concerned that my "neural pathways" were set when I was so young that I need the medication to help divert my depressive thought patterns. In any event, I am tapering off Trintellix (also known as Brintellix). I haven't had any of the really bad side effects as I lower the dosage from 20 to 10. I was wakeful at night for a few days. I'm having some stomach trouble, but that could be unrelated. I'm set now to go from 10 to 5 (cutting the pills in half, more or less -- they are tear-drop shaped so an exact half isn't possible). And then it will just be me and my brain; hopefully on good terms. To help keep my spirits up, I walk the dog daily, so I make sure I get outdoors. I'm also going to the gym at least once a week; twice a week when I can. Any suggestions or thoughts on how to make this a smooth transition?
  9. I've been on Trintellix for over a year now. My insurance is changing, and I'll have to go through a re-approval process to get coverage for it. I'm not sure how well it is really working for me. On 20 mg dose. I'll talk to my doctor, but I'm thinking maybe phase off of this for a while and continue work with my therapist to get me through the rough patches.
  10. Sounds like you are in the middle of a very stressful and difficult time. Family vacations are usually difficult. It's like herding cats. Don't be fooled by the pretty pictures you see on Facebook. Most peoples' families are just like yours. Everyone is doing what they want and it's hard to get folks on a plan. I don't know whether you're depressed vs. upset. It is probably something to talk to a counselor or therapist about. If the bad feelings stick around, then you may be depressed. You also may feel better when you have some space and room to breathe. Hope things get better.
  11. I have had some experience with that feeling. I think it may be called disassociation (technically)? A therapist would know. I called it my detached mode. When I was a child, it would come on me and be a sort of relief -- to feel separate from everything; numb, but not hurting. The problem was in reconnecting, which was invariably painful. As an adult, I've learned to use my ability to detach to help me through difficult situations. I let myself detach, but keep hold of something that can bring me back into reality again. Usually, that something is one of my dogs. (I don't know how people without pets make it through.) At one time, I lived in an apartment and wasn't allowed to have dogs. I got a goldfish and said, "hey, fishy, you're going to have to be my lifeline." That didn't really work so well; dogs are much more responsive to human emotion. It's OK to feel numb: your emotions are worn out and you can't take it anymore. Eventually, life will pull you back in. Think about something you love, whether it's nature or art or science, and let that be your path back.
  12. Good to know I'm not the only one. Wish I could opt out of parties, but my family members will be going and they would be upset if I didn't go. When I'm at parties, I usually try to get a few minutes to myself -- go outside for a bit. If there are dogs and cats around, that's helpful, because I have no social anxiety around animals -- they are so easy to talk to!
  13. I have social and generalized anxiety, along with depression. We have three parties coming up this week. I am very nervous about going. I don't like socializing with groups. I'm afraid I'll have a panic attack at a party (which has happened before).
  14. Thank you for reading and responding, bluegal and darktwin777. Wish I had better news, but I'm still trying to wrap my head around what's going on, especially my friend's cancer, which is a huge shock. She is so young. Just very sad. My husband is strong and I am confident that he will get better. He is being careful with the pain meds, because he knows they are addictive, but he can't be without them quite yet.
  15. Feeling very blue and it seems like there are too many bad things happening to people I care about. A close friend of mine has cancer. I stayed with her on Christmas and the day after, when she got released from the hospital. She had surgery but they did not get all the cancer. Hopefully she will get cured in 2016 -- something I am praying for. My husband also had surgery in December and is having a slow recovery, with a lot of pain. He is trying to cut down the pain meds, but it is difficult. Just feeling kind of blue and having trouble keeping hopeful.
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