Jump to content


Silver Member
  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Camellia

  1. Thank you Evergreen for the advise. I feel exactly the same, I feel I can never win. I dont know what to achieve either. And the voice is always there whispering. If Im not working, I hv the music or tv ON non stop. It helps to divert. Any silence moment, the whisper will get stronger.
  2. For me, when I sleep at night, and tomorrow morning I find out that Im still alive. Every night when I sleep, I want to die in my sleep.
  3. I dont know how it feels to like ourselves. I really dont know. I confused a lot. I dont know how to describe it here.
  4. Im sorry you are having this problem. I have exactly or almost the same problem like you do with my mum and my siblings. I can relate to you. Im outcasted and the blacksheep of the family too. Im sorry you are not able to move out from there. I rented a room because that was the only thing I can afford to do at that time. I was desperate to leave my family's house. That was the first step that I do to survive. I hope you are able to find ways to get away from there.
  5. I can relate to you. I have the same problem. I am alone in the family. We are here with you.
  6. @Charlee I can relate to almost everything you've said. When we are at this stage, dont know what to do anymore and not much hope left, its so easy to do it (to end it). Stay with us. I may not be able to help a lot, but Im here to share your feelings. Hopefully it can help to enlighten you with that feelings. That feeling is painfull indeed.
  7. @Charlee Im sorry u are feeling down. I hv no advise. But i just want you to know that i hear you and i understand how difficult it is to feel this way. You are not alone. We are here with you.
  8. @DragonBallZ1995 Im sorry u hv this problem. Is it possible for you to find another job and move out from there. I hv family problem too. Im the black sheep of the family. Im not close to my mum either. To make the story short, i got a job in another city. I rented a room in the city. A family (not my family) in the city had advertised to rent out one of their rooms. Thats how i got away from family. Like you, i hv nobody with me.
  9. @AndrewH Im sorry you feel this way. I dont hv any advise. But I just want you to know that you are not alone. Im feeling almost exactly the same thing like you do. I was ok for the past hours today but suddenly it changed to feeling depress. I wanted to do few things but suddenly I feel down, feeling low. I dont want to do anything. I dont know why.
  10. Im glad that you intend to go back to see a psychiatrist. I understand the busy schedule of the psychiatrist because of the pandemic. Do you hv a place that provide support through phone calls for depression. Maybe they can help you. You can also meet them at their office, but they are not psychiatrist.
  11. I can relate to this, dont feel right. I hv this feeling quite often. I dont know what to do either. I would normally come here to DF and read people's posts. It helps me.
  12. Yr welcome. I hope you will get another job soon. Less stressful job with good pay.
  13. Im sorry to hear this....you hv been there for so long... Where will u go after this...
  14. @sober4life Im sorry that you are having the same problem, the black sheep. From your post, its much more difficult than mine. Your post brought me into tears.
  15. @JD4010 Thank you for sharing. All you've said is exactly the same with me. Im the black sheep of the family. I cry a lot when I think about my IRL family. Nothing i do that can please them or make them happy. Im so confused. I dont know what to do. I dont hv IRL friends either.
  16. @Extremebeginner Thank you. I dont know if the colors important or not. I just dont feel right at that time...somethin was not right. Im feeling better now after posting it there. Thank you again.
  17. @JD4010 I understand what u are saying, that DF is your family in many ways. I feel the same . I always read your posts, and other family members' posts in here. Reading yours and other posters of our family here give me strength to help me with my days. I never share my things with my real family because ... (i dont know how to say it)....i dont belong to my real family...i should not be born in the family....
  18. Im glad you feel better. We are always here with you. I agree with you about having DF here with us. I frequently sleep with DF in my hp. I feel DF is like my home.
  19. I dont hv an advise but i just want to let you know that you are not alone. We are here with you. I can relate to you about having suicide thoughts because i have that in my mind very often. My job helps me to divert my mind. I cant stay in silent mode even a single second because that thought will instantly creeps in. Im always on my earphones or tv to avoid the silence.
  20. @Svenetc I used that energy and just worked and worked and worked whenever I could. Me too. I just work and work and work to divert my mind. My work is a routine task, i hardly talk. I just do my job.
  21. Im feeling blue red orange green yellow purple since few hours ago. I dont know which one.
  22. I want to die. But i know i wont die now. The feeling wont go away either. So i just stay here in DF to comfort me. Reading peoples posts in here, helps to comfort me.
  23. Yes i feel the same way. I dont belong to the family.
  24. Im nof sure if it can. But readings posts in here helped me including your's.. I feel better knowing that im not alone with this. Even though the death thought is always down there in the mind. Besides reading posts in here, i also keep busy with work, a routine job. It help me to run away from my reality.
  25. I'm angry with myself right now. I dont know how to remind myself not post anything to my family group in the chat group. If I am a somebody with high position in the office like everyone in the family is, they will respond to the post. I'm so angry to myself. Now I remember, someone here told me they are not my family, they are just relatives with same flesh and blood. Family dont treat other family like this. I must run away to other country so that I can forget them completely and tell myself that I'm actually alone.
  • Create New...