Camellia

@Charlee I can relate to almost everything you've said. When we are at this stage, dont know what to do anymore and not much hope left, its so easy to do it (to end it). Stay with us. I may not be able to help a lot, but Im here to share your feelings. Hopefully it can help to enlighten you with that feelings. That feeling is painfull indeed.

@Charlee Im sorry u are feeling down. I hv no advise. But i just want you to know that i hear you and i understand how difficult it is to feel this way. You are not alone. We are here with you.

@DragonBallZ1995 Im sorry u hv this problem. Is it possible for you to find another job and move out from there. I hv family problem too. Im the black sheep of the family. Im not close to my mum either. To make the story short, i got a job in another city. I rented a room in the city. A family (not my family) in the city had advertised to rent out one of their rooms. Thats how i got away from family. Like you, i hv nobody with me.

@AndrewH Im sorry you feel this way. I dont hv any advise. But I just want you to know that you are not alone. Im feeling almost exactly the same thing like you do. I was ok for the past hours today but suddenly it changed to feeling depress. I wanted to do few things but suddenly I feel down, feeling low. I dont want to do anything. I dont know why.

Im glad that you intend to go back to see a psychiatrist. I understand the busy schedule of the psychiatrist because of the pandemic. Do you hv a place that provide support through phone calls for depression. Maybe they can help you. You can also meet them at their office, but they are not psychiatrist.

I can relate to this, dont feel right. I hv this feeling quite often. I dont know what to do either. I would normally come here to DF and read people's posts. It helps me.

Yr welcome. I hope you will get another job soon. Less stressful job with good pay.

Im sorry to hear this....you hv been there for so long... Where will u go after this...

@sober4life Im sorry that you are having the same problem, the black sheep. From your post, its much more difficult than mine. Your post brought me into tears.

@JD4010 Thank you for sharing. All you've said is exactly the same with me. Im the black sheep of the family. I cry a lot when I think about my IRL family. Nothing i do that can please them or make them happy. Im so confused. I dont know what to do. I dont hv IRL friends either.

@Extremebeginner Thank you. I dont know if the colors important or not. I just dont feel right at that time...somethin was not right. Im feeling better now after posting it there. Thank you again.

@JD4010 I understand what u are saying, that DF is your family in many ways. I feel the same . I always read your posts, and other family members' posts in here. Reading yours and other posters of our family here give me strength to help me with my days. I never share my things with my real family because ... (i dont know how to say it)....i dont belong to my real family...i should not be born in the family....

Im glad you feel better. We are always here with you. I agree with you about having DF here with us. I frequently sleep with DF in my hp. I feel DF is like my home.

I dont hv an advise but i just want to let you know that you are not alone. We are here with you. I can relate to you about having suicide thoughts because i have that in my mind very often. My job helps me to divert my mind. I cant stay in silent mode even a single second because that thought will instantly creeps in. Im always on my earphones or tv to avoid the silence.

@Svenetc I used that energy and just worked and worked and worked whenever I could. Me too. I just work and work and work to divert my mind. My work is a routine task, i hardly talk. I just do my job.