Camellia

@sober4life I cry each time I read your post. I can feel other people's pain. I wish I can say something to make you feel better, but I dont have any, but to be here with you.

@Ratvan I really hope your injuries are not serious. I wish you don't have to go through this pain. I hope you keep strong.

@Ratvan Thank you for your support. Im sorry you're not well. My prayers are all for you.

@sober4life Your post made me in tears. I can feel it, the way how life is for you.

Im tired, very tired. I can't stop thinking about leaving, since yesterday. Not suicidal, but Im just too tired. I don't know how it is in the next world, but living here makes me tired, trying to live.

With that lengthy of raps, you did it in less than an hour. You're awesome. I'm not good at lyrics or poems but I do love music. It helps me to divert my mind from many things. I really love your raps. I'm not good at poems, but when I read your's, I feel nice. Usually, I can't read long post, but your raps naturally and spontaneously made me continue reading it. I think if you put it into music and make it into rap or r&b song beat, it will be amazing. Maybe you can submit your lyrics to the composer. Or maybe you can be the singer, and you compose your own songs. You remind me of Khalid. His songs are mostly slow and a bit poetics. Thank you for sharing with us.

So cool. I love it. You can become a great lyricist. Im way far from being a lyricist. I cant even make any poem. You are awesome.

@sober4life Thank you. I will remember your advice.

@sober4life Im sorry you have experienced that a lot. I understand how you feel. Exactly, now I dont know who are good and honest people and who are the bad people. I cannot differentiate them.

@highanxiety Yes. Im always wearing a mask. My several experiences told me that I cannot share with others in real life. They will treat me like #@$&. There's a guy in the office said to me that I have nothing. I thought I can share my problem with him because he looks like a nice person. But I was wrong. My second elder brother's wife asked me how me and my mum (her mother in law). I thought I hv somebody that I can turn to. I share my problem with her. After that she talk bad about me to other family members. I know this when my family members distance away from me at family gatherings. This continue to happen to me again and again. Mum is very abusive to me, physically and mentally. This is the main reason I ran away from home. I made having a job offer as an excuse. After that I know that sister in law was only curious, she's not concern. I feel so stupid.

Feeling sad for no reason. I was ok this morning, not sad, can listen to music. Now I keep switching it off, and sitting here starring at the monitor screen. I don't know why

@15anddepressed I'm sorry to hear that. I understand how you feel, may be not all of it but at least some of it. Alone and not much choice. I hope you keep strong . We are here with you.

@15anddepressed By the way, I used to stay in the school library almost everyday and I would only return home in late afternoon because I don't want to go home. May be you can find a public library and hopefully you can find a friend like you in here. Just a thought from me to help you with some ideas. I dont have friends too literally speaking, just one or two. But it is because I prefer to be in my room and I don't know how to share my stuff with people except in here.

@15anddepressed I'm glad you have a class, at least you can go out from the house for a while. I understand not easy to find someone in foreign country and to find someone like us is not easy either. And not easy to talk stuff like this even to a friend unless they are having the problem. I hope you keep strong. You have us here.

@15anddepressed Sorry you are feeling down. No motivation is hard. It can prevent us from doing anything. Is there anything you like such as music, or sports such as tennis or swimming or anything u like. Maybe you can go to classes for music or play tennis or swimming or any sport you like. You can make friends with the same interest. Its easier to make conversation if you have a friend with same interest. Home schooling and have no friends can make us depress. I dont have many friends either. You dont have to have many friends, one or two but comfortable with each other is enough, so to speak.