Camellia

@Cent I can relate about wanting to sleep during the day so that you will less awake. I also can relate about wanting to be in the room. I have that issue too most of my life. It will make us feel no motivation, including the gym even though you have a membership for that. I go out because I hv to go to work. You want to go out for some eating out but your parents are busy. This can be a cycle to make you feel worse. Sounds like the class you mentioned can help to make you to go out from yr room. If you dont go out it will make it worse. Its all move in cycle..

@Devlinkyla I dont know the answer. Maybe because we are still in this world. We have to do things that we need to do to live in this world even though its not what we want.

@JD4010 So sorry you are having money issue right now. Sorry I dont have any answer but im can hear you and I can relate to your pain. You are not alone.

Hi @Cent Just tell your grandma everthing that you want to tell, everything about how you feel. Whether she want to accept it or not, it is beyond our ability to control it because we cannot ask people to believe us. Whether they accept it or not, you hv tell her everything about how you feel. If she cannot understand or cannot accept it now, she will be able to understand it later, as time goes. You said your mum wants you to tell so that all these things that is happening will stop. We cannot afford to stop what is happening, unless people accept and understand our explaination. When you have explained to her about why you dont want to stay with her, that means you have tried to explain. But explain in nice way so that she dont get hurt. I know you are hurting too. I told my mum i hv job offer in the city in another state. I make that as an excuse to run away from her (I really got the job). I was trying not to hurt her. I cannot say I cant stay with her because that will make her upset. Im scared of my mum. With your dad, you can say Hi Dad and smile. If he respond well, you can continue talking like How are you. If his respond is cold to you, you just smile and go, hang around with other relatives. You already greeted him to show that you are his son (his family). In my family, any child who ignore their parents and other family members, that child is a bad child and when they die they will go to hell. I hope you keep strong. We are here with you.

I want to sleep and never wake up 😢. I dont know how to do it.

Im sorry you are so down. I wish I know what to say to make you feel better. Sometimes I feel the same, nothing can help me. If I am up to that stage I will come here and read people's posts. It helps me a bit because it makes me less alone, others are also feeling the same like I do. You are not alone. Thinking about when is my last day is the daily thing I have and I dont know how to deal with that. Thats why I come here to read people's posts. You are not alone. I hear you.

Sorry you cant sleep. If I cant sleep, I will hold my hp to my chest because I hv my family (DF) with me. I feel better and it help me to sleep. I hope you can get some sleep.

I’m sorry again that you have to face this situation. It was started out with lazy. And your parents treatment made you depress. You want to go out on you own but due to the circumstances, you can’t. This is a difficult situation. I know, their treatment makes you feel discouraged to do things. Unfortunately, as long as we are in the same house with other people (parents, siblings, friends), they will treat us that way if they are not happy with us. I’m afraid you have to do something like helping doing the house chores, clean the washroom or go out and play football or anything to avoid them seeing you as lazy. Otherwise I’m afraid you will continue to have depression until you move out. I fully understand if you don’t have the motivation to do these either. I understand, you want to do things that you want to do, but only when you go out from there. Unfortunately, your situation right now won’t allow you to do that yet.

Hi. Sorry you feel down. Why are you depress? Is it because your parents or your mom treat you like that. Depression can make people lazy (dont want to do anything). Or is it that the laziness that makes your parents or your mom treat you like that. And that causes you to depress. If it is the laziness that causes your problem, what makes you lazy. You said you have no real avenue until you independant. That means you can do things you want to do. That means you are not lazy. What stop you from doing what you want to do.

@sober4life I cry each time I read your post. I can feel other people's pain. I wish I can say something to make you feel better, but I dont have any, but to be here with you.

@Ratvan I really hope your injuries are not serious. I wish you don't have to go through this pain. I hope you keep strong.

@Ratvan Thank you for your support. Im sorry you're not well. My prayers are all for you.

@sober4life Your post made me in tears. I can feel it, the way how life is for you.

Im tired, very tired. I can't stop thinking about leaving, since yesterday. Not suicidal, but Im just too tired. I don't know how it is in the next world, but living here makes me tired, trying to live.

With that lengthy of raps, you did it in less than an hour. You're awesome. I'm not good at lyrics or poems but I do love music. It helps me to divert my mind from many things. I really love your raps. I'm not good at poems, but when I read your's, I feel nice. Usually, I can't read long post, but your raps naturally and spontaneously made me continue reading it. I think if you put it into music and make it into rap or r&b song beat, it will be amazing. Maybe you can submit your lyrics to the composer. Or maybe you can be the singer, and you compose your own songs. You remind me of Khalid. His songs are mostly slow and a bit poetics. Thank you for sharing with us.