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About Camellia

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  1. Camellia

    I don't feel well

    @lostsoul65 Sorry you dont feel well. Im glad you have a dog with you. I hope you would go for the trip that you are planning to go. You deserve it.
  2. Camellia


    @Floor2017 Thank you. So nice to know that there are other people who know how it feels. Thank you for your advice about One day at a time. It helps. Hugs you back.
  3. Camellia


    @Devlinkyla I hope you are able to talk to your doc. I can understand what you are saying about ' Whats the point '. ' Im just done'. Sometimes things can be very hard that we dont know what to do.
  4. Camellia

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I feel sad these 2-3 days. I cant find any reason. My work is as usuall, nothing different, I did my routine job as usual. I can't get rid the thought of death for myself after reading the last post of our friend in here. Everyday I'm waiting for my last day.
  5. Camellia

    This isn’t helping

    @samadhiSheol You are important. Please don't do anything bad to yourself
  6. Camellia

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Appetite is getting lower and lower. I'm eating lesser and lesser each day, since the past few months, I don't know how many months. I always have low appetite. But it's getting worse these few months. As of late afternoon today, I only had a piece of bread with peanut butter and two small size mug of water with cream and sugar. Yesterday, two cream buns. The day earlier, had few cookies through the day. And thats it.
  7. Camellia

    Dead for years with no one noticing

    @regretgirl Im so touched with your story. I wish I know how to help you, but I dont. Im very sad reading your post about the documentary. I dont have close friends except those in the office.
  8. @James from NZ I agree with our friends above, to work from home. In an office job, you cant leave for many days or take a break for a while and then return. That is what I know. I work in a small company, not many people inside there, and Im lucky that I dont have to interact with people or very minimal. Its a small company, but I cant go for a break for many days except one or two days or the most 3 days at a time. Im not sure how it is with a large company.
  9. Camellia

    How to convince yourself to keep going

    @Steveab63 Exactly the same with me. The mind, cant even leave it free even just for a while. Have to keep it busy otherwise something else will instantly creeps in.
  10. Camellia

    How to convince yourself to keep going

    @Sentinel2 I can relate to you. Today the creepy thought came in again in my mind unintentionally, that nothing interesting anymore in this world when family dont love you. I try to erase that thought but it keep coming back. The only thing that keeps me going is because I dont want to sleep on the street, so I have to work to pay my rent.
  11. Camellia

    I am so depressed

    @Hkatlyn Im sorry you feel so down now. I can relate. I'm also similar situation like you. I always try to do things that people want me to do (family and colleague). I realize that I actually not able to do it. Almost everything that I do, I find that its difficult to please people. I eventually don't know what else to do.
  12. Camellia

    I don't belong here, or anywhere else.

    @samadhiSheol Maybe a cat or any pet you like can help make you feel better? I worry about you.
  13. @slate77 I understand about the colleagues expectations. Its not easy either for me. I cover it with smiles. That is the best I can do.
  14. @BeyondWeary Thank you for sharing your experience. I will try to do that.
  15. @Floor2017 Thank you for your advice. I'm learning from everyone that I read in here. Which ever ways that can help me. Yes, its hard sometimes. I'm trying hard. Every night I would say "If I die tonight". It's automatic. Thank you again for your advice.