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Everything posted by PoeticProse

  1. Woke up early, got some legal stuff taken care of, went on a 3mi jog, and stayed sober. Today was a good day.
  2. "Happiness d*** near destroys you, breaks your faith to pieces on the floor." - Happiness by The Fray
  3. caridwen, There are many personality disorders, each having its own set of criteria and symptoms. Personality disorders lie on a continuum, ranging from mild to severe symptoms. Diagnosing these personality disorders is, though a bit more complicated, is no different than you being diagnosed with depression. I am guessing that seeing a doctor who specializes in these disorders would serve one purpose: to pinpoint your disorder and treat its symptoms. In my opinion, you shouldn't be too concerned with the diagnosis. Once a diagnosis is made, one often sees the symptoms that verify the diagnosis, and ignore the ones that do not. This can cause a problem because your symptoms are what should be treated, not the label they're given. Good luck.
  4. Hello allalone6, I am sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation, many of us have been down that road. The problem with looking online for depression advice is that it is typically generalized to fit all people. This poses a problem because no two people are the same - one strategy does not fit all. It is certainly helpful to talk to others, if they are available, but there are people out there who lack compassion and a firm understanding of depression. Unfortunately, it seems that your friends are of this category. Maybe this will put things into perspective, and show you who your real friends are. Are you taking medication for your depression? If you are still suffering depressive symptoms, you should speak with your doctor. Medication may be something you should consider. Again, I am sorry about how your friends have reacted to your situation. You will always find support here on DF. Good luck, and keep us posted.
  5. Hi itsjustme33, I am sorry to hear about your struggles; you are not alone. I definitely think that therapy and psychiatric medications will greatly benefit your situation. Though there are ways we can manage depression, we do not control its onset. Like many other disorders and diseases, it often requires medication. Psychiatric medications are still in their years of trial and error, as no two people are the same, but it isn't always a lengthy process. There are people who try 4-5 medications before finding one that suits them; other people need no more than 1-2. It is merely finding a medication that causes you limited/tolerable side effects, and one that helps with your depressive symptoms. I strongly recommend speaking with your doctor, and taking his or her advice to heart. He or she has your best interests in mind, and obviously considers medication's possible benefits greater than its possible side effects. You do not have to live life unhappy, there are ways to make it better. I found a medication that works for me within a few weeks; after my depression lessened quite a bit, my doctor and I decided that there was even more that could be accomplished. I added another medication, a mood stabilizer, to my current antidepressant, and I have never felt better. The key is finding that first medication that works for you. It is possible that this will be your success story and that you will not need any other medications. Your goal should be to manage your self-destructive thoughts and your anxiety. Antidepressants will leave you pleasantly surprised. Talk to your doctor, and be open-minded. I wish you the best of luck, and be sure to keep us posted.
  6. Hello knitter, That is an excellent question. Depression can cause physical pain, both imaginary and systemic; physical pain can also contribute to depression. I think the only way to distinguish between physical pain and depression is to list all your symptoms and talk to your doctor. How are you managing your depression? Are you involved in therapy or taking any medication? Have you been involved in any overly-strenuous activities that may have caused back pain and headaches? These answers will help you/us draw a better conclusion.
  7. Contribute to DF, read a few chapter in my physiology textbook, work on my book, stay sober, and of course, enjoy the day.
  8. Beautiful.. Sunny and about 84 degrees F. These are the days I live for.
  9. Hello wannabhappy, Being happy is not too much to ask. However, not many people experience the success stories one can read about online. If you have not experienced unpleasant side effects while taking Sertraline, I would not denigrate its effectiveness. It is relatively common to still feel "flat", and to feel like more can be accomplished. My antidepressant alone was not enough to rid me of my depression or anxiety. Therapy is always helpful, but sometimes one needs an adjunct treatment, such as a mood stabilizer, to boost the performance of the antidepressant. Talk to your doctor about all the symptoms you are still experiencing, and ask him or her about mood stabilizers. I have been taking Seroquel XR for about 3 months, gradually working my way up to 300mg QD, and it is my wonder drug. Though Cymbalta helped me keep my head above water, I still lacked interest in daily activities, and found it difficult to get out of bed. Seroquel has given me my energy back, and I am now enjoying the things that used to interest me. At first, Seroquel has a sedating effect, which is why it is taken at bedtime, but as your body get used to it, that side effect will diminish. Like all psychiatric medications, it is a trial and error process, so what works for me may not work for you. So I suggest talking to your doctor and coming to a decision together. Depression makes it difficult to distinguish between normal thoughts and feelings, and ones that are the cause of depression itself. Lacking interest in daily activities can affect ones life in many negative ways; because of this, I think that there is more that can be done in your treatment. Good luck, and keep us posted.
  10. Hello meshugene, I am glad to hear that you force yourself to exercise. This can go a long way in the treatment of depression. To-do lists are also a great strategy, but I understand your inability to complete them. Depression makes the completion of things very difficult, as well as finding interest in them. Your techniques are an excellent starting point, but are you in therapy or taking medication? If you are still suffering symptoms of anhedonia, these may prove beneficial. It is common, and natural, to have an internal monologue that contradicts itself; we all have to force ourselves to do things we may not feel like doing. This becomes a problem when it affects our life negatively, causing us to fail to meet our obligations and fulfill our responsibilities. If this is the case for you, I strongly encourage you to seek help. Even a low-dose antidepressant could help your situation. Talk to your doctor about all of your symptoms, and then you two can decide on the best route to take. Good luck. Keep us posted.
  11. Hello, I have been on Cymbalta for about two years. Though it helped some of my depressive symptoms, I was not satisfied, especially after reading about all the success stories online. I felt that there was more to be accomplished, because I still didn't have interest in daily activities. The weight gain is a risk presented by most antidepressants; you and your doctor obviously decided that its benefits outweigh the possible side effects. After trying a few adjunct treatments, each of which either had unpleasant side effects or didn't work, I started taking Seroquel XR. It is a mood stabilizer and antipsychotic. Though it is prescribed for manic episodes of manic-depression and schizophrenia-like symptoms, it is also prescribed as an adjunct treatment for major depressive disorder. At first, it made me extremely drowsy, which is why you're supposed to take it at night, but after it reaches a therapeutic level in your body, this symptoms goes away. It has been my success story. Not only have I been lifted of my depression, but my anxiety and panic attacks are nonexistent. I have been taking Seroquel for about 3 months, currently on 300mg QD. It is possible that Cymbalta is not the correct medication for you; it is also possible that it is, and that you just need something else to boost its performance. Talk to your doctor about all of your symptoms and concerns, and you can both come to a decision. If you are willing to stick with Cymbalta, I recommend looking at mood stabilizers. Though no two people are the same, Seroquel XR has worked wonders for me. Maybe it will do the same for you. I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted.
  12. Hello again, I'm glad to hear that you are taking a step back and taking a better look at your thoughts and feelings. First, I wanted to touch on the long-distance aspect of things. Its ability to work is entirely dependent on the two individuals in the relationship. Often times, long distance relationships do not work out; on the other hand, I know plenty of people who continue to have lasting relationships from a distance. I had one of these a few years ago, and though at times it was difficult, we pulled through. If you truly want to be with someone, and believe that you are meant to be together, distance will merely act as a small stepping stone. Do not lose hope simply because of the space between you two. As far as what Adam thinks about you two being together, it is hard to tell, as I do not know how he feels. However, it is very possible that his depression has clouded his thoughts and has made his feelings difficult to express and truly feel. I believe that if you were to start over, with a simple friendship, texting and talking as friends, it would help both of you quite a bit. This way, he has someone to talk to while managing his depression. You should strive for a mature friendship, one that doesn't include intense, emotional texts. It seems to become a burden for both of you. Establishing a true friendship is a great way to build a strong foundation for a future relationship. Bf's and gf's need to be friends before entering a relationship, especially one of long distance. Talk to Adam about this, and explain how you would like to start over, just be friends again with no strings attached and no expectations, and let that bloom before taking further steps. As his depression weakens and your friendship strengthens, you will both be more able to view your situation with a clear mind. Having expectations can be very burdensome to someone with depression; often times, people who are depressed become avoidant, which may be the case with Adam. I was also avoidant and lacked self-confidence during the core of my depression. Adam may not feel worthy, and may make excuses to explain why you two should not be together. Stay strong, and realize that his depression may be the cause of your difficulties. As I said, talk to him about your feelings. Work toward a strong friendship, and worry about the details later. The universe tends to unfold as it should. I wish you the best of luck.
  13. Hello CherylW, As a matter of fact, I do take Seroquel. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder about two years ago and have been on Cymbalta ever since. After trying a few different adjunct treatments, none of which worked, my psychiatrist prescribed Seroquel XR. I have been on it for about 3 months, currently on 300mg QD. I also had trouble with anxiety and very severe panic attacks, for which I also have Xanax. It works extremely well for these attacks, but I do my best to avoid taking it because of its habit-forming nature. I have been in cognitive-behavioral therapy, which has helped me with some behavior changes that also help me manage my anxiety; Seroquel also give me energy during the day to be productive, something I was unable to do prior to its use. Though I may not be one of the extreme success stories, feeling like an 'entirely new person', Seroquel is my wonder drug. I have experienced nothing but pleasant effects. At first, it was very sedating and I just wanted to fall asleep at night after taking it, and woke up feeling somewhat groggy; but now, I can function at night after taking it and can wake up ready for a new day. I'm eager to hear how it affects you. Good luck, and keep us posted.
  14. The color illustrating my mood is the calming sensation of blue.
  15. Hello, Most online searches probably will come up with negative comments, but that is not a representative sample and is not indicative of the majority of people taking the medication. Seroquel is prescribed for manic episodes of manic-depression and schizophrenia-like symptoms, but is also used as an adjunct treatment for major depressive disorder. It stabilizes one's mood, which is often what needs to be done if an antidepressant alone does not affect depression. Because 25mg is such a low dose (I take 300mg), you should not have to worry about side effects. More than likely, at least until your body gets used to it, you will experience heavy sedation an hour or two after taking it. After a week or two, you should be able to function on it. Don't dwell on the negatives, as every medication comes with risks. You and your doctor must have decided that the benefits Seroquel has to offer outweigh the possible side effects. Give it some time to reach a therapeutic level in your body, and check in with your doctor. Good luck. Keep us posted.
  16. Hey erickson, I actually did experience this sensation, or lack thereof, while taking Mirtazapine. I took 15mg for two weeks, then 30mg for another 3 weeks; I also experienced very annoying akathisia, so I discontinued use. Since I didn't take it too long, I never really looked into the whole unrewarding physical activity issue. Though I'm not entirely sure, your theory would make sense. It is very possible that it has to do with its effects on serotonin. It is a different type of antidepressant, so maybe that's why I never noticed it with any other medication. Interesting. .
  17. Hello angelwings17, I wish you the best of luck with your new medication. Hopefully this will be your success drug, or at least its therapeutic equivalent. Be sure to keep us posted.
  18. BummedinKS, I also had this problem. I have been on Cymbalta for about two years, and tried multiple different adjunct treatments. I finally found Seroquel XR, and it has helped tremendously with my energy level during the day. It allows me to get out of bed and actually be productive, which was very difficult for me to do before taking this medication. Exercise also helps, but I'm guessing you would have difficulty forcing yourself to partake. Adderall is effective, I will not refute that; it is also, however, dangerous. If you take it, I agree with JokerGirl in that you should take breaks as often as possible, so as not to build a tolerance or become chemically dependent. Many people take this medication, for various reasons, but it does not change its risk for chemical dependency, or its risk of abuse. Because of this, it is a Schedule II DEA controlled substance. A medication does not earn this title without a well-deserved reason. Talk to your doctor about all your symptoms, and discuss your options. I would think a mood stabilizer would be a safer route, but your doctor may disagree. Keep Adderall in mind, but be open to other medications. Keep us posted.
  19. Hello, I've been on Cymbalta for about two years, and it has worked extremely well for my depression - very few side effects. I am also addicted to nicotine. If you were not a tobacco user before starting the Nicorette gum, I would not continue to use it. Nicotine can, and often does, lead to anxiety and depression, the very things you wish to rid yourself of. I also do not condone the use of illegal substances, the reason being among this very statement. I would continue with the Cymbalta, at least until it reaches a therapeutic concentration in your body. From there, you and your doctor can decide what to do. Tapering off Celexa may bring its own side effects, but the Cymbalta should make them less noticeable, or may even mask them completely. Take careful note of all your symptoms, so that you leave nothing out when you speak with your doctor. Good luck.
  20. Hello ryan_melua, What have your past relationships been like (duration, seriousness, how/why they ended)? What about your relationship with your parents? All of these details would help us better understand your situation. And don't worry, no one will judge you. We are here to help you understand yourself in a new, clearer way.
  21. I only experienced one side effect from Remeron, and it wasn't listed. Oddly enough, most people don't experience it: akathisia.
  22. JokerGirl, You have every right to be angry. Seeing your child making poor decisions and head down the wrong path would make any parent go haywire. We wish we could just shake him, to make him realize that these things will last forever. Your anger is completely natural, and warranted, if I may add. Do you exercise regularly? As cliche as it may sound, physical activity's efficacy is irrefutable. It is, in my opinion, the best method of stress relief. Even 20-30min three times per week is sufficient; I would give it a try if you have not done so. Breathing exercises and meditation are also helpful, it just depends on the type of person you are. As for mood stabilizers, I am not a professional and it would be unethical to give direct advice. However, based on the story you presented, many of your emotions seem normal in response to the struggles you are facing. Mood stabilizers do work well, but that is one more medication to add to the list, which inevitably comes with side effects (activation and long-term), and the all-too-common trial and error process. I would first work on behavior changes and exercise as mentioned above, and then see how you feel. If you still feel like there are symptoms of depression that are not directly related to your son's situation, talk to your doctor. Your current antidepressant may very well suffice, it may just be difficult to notice under all the stress. But your opinion is the one that matters most, so if this is the direction you're leaning after changing some of your behaviors, ask your doctor about mood stabilizers. If/When you speak with your doctor, remember to be an impartial observer of your symptoms - list them all, even the ones you deem irrelevant, as sometimes they are quite the contrary. I hope this is somewhat helpful.
  23. Hey guys, I agree that sometimes people are just not very understanding, especially when it comes to issues they are not familiar with. However, I believe that we are sometimes to blame for feeling 'alone and forgotten'. There are people who would throw all other priorities aside to listen to your situations. We have to be willing to share ourselves with others if we want them to do the same. If we look at people in a negative fashion, thinking that we are unique and that no one could possibly understand how we feel, that is exactly what we will receive. If someone shrugs or laughs off your cry for help, he or she is not a true friend. I am glad you posted this, as there are plenty of people here on DF who will take you seriously and offer support. We are people who have been, or are currently going, through similar struggles. No matter what we may think, we are not alone. Stay strong, make new friends, or find the ones who truly care and be willing to confide in them. Good luck.
  24. Hey darkdaxter, I'm sorry to hear about your weekend, it would be nearly impossible to put a positive spin on it. The incessant bleeding is odd; I would definitely call your doctor tomorrow and see what he or she thinks. You shouldn't have to go through the day worrying about bleeding that should have ceased days ago. Of course, it seems that the weekend wouldn't have been quite as bad had people sympathized with and understood your pain. From your post, it seems like you're somewhat used to this lack of understanding and compassion, or unwillingness to empathize. I am sorry to hear that your pain has not been taken seriously. Remember to call your doctor tomorrow if the bleeding continues. I hope that the pain goes away soon, so that your life can go back to normal. Maybe once all of this is in the past, you can talk to your parents about how you felt. Let them know that you didn't feel understood; they have no reason to change if you don't give them one. Get well! Keep us posted.
  25. Hi Helloguys, First, I would like to thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like a pretty serious dilemma. It becomes even more complex when there are children involved. They definitely should not be subjected to arguments, especially of that magnitude, and fights, that directly contradict the values you are in the process of teaching them. At the same time, I understand your desire to keep the household intact and try to work things out with your wife, this is a natural wish. Have you considered couples therapy? I'm sure it would be quite helpful for both of you to see a therapist together, or at least some times together/some times apart. Your wife seems to have some anger issues that need to be addressed, but she certainly doesn't seem to be willing to receive help from you. Due to this, I think that a therapist acting as an impartial observer would benefit your relationship. As far as her moving to California, unfortunately I don't think the law requires parents, even divorcees, to live within any distance of one another. I read a book not too long ago, whose author was a child of divorced parents. She mentioned how she wish this part of the law were different. You seem to be a great father, so if you were to divorce, it is possible that you would get the children during the school year, and your wife would get them during the summer and holidays, or what ever the judge decides. The problem is that your children will have to make the trip from TN to CA multiple times a year. They will be the ones suffering the brunt of the divorce. As much as this law needs to be changed, to force parents to remain within a tolerable distance, we must leave that up to the government. Again, I would seek couples therapy; hopefully you are able to get your wife to agree. If she doesn't, maybe it would help to lay out your feelings to her. Explain how you are concerned about your children witnessing the conflicts, and that you are willing to make very serious decisions if she does not agree to seek help. I am not a professional, and I am only as familiar with your situation as your brief statement allowed me to be. All the same, I hope this helps you. Good luck, and keep us posted.
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