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Everything posted by PoeticProse

  1. Hello pjdepression, We all struggle with why we cannot solve these problems on our own. It is not a sign of weakness, but strength and determination. Taking the necessary steps to treat our depression proves our perseverance and willingness to receive help. Therapy is effective because it helps one learn the coping skills to deal with stressors. It can also help one work through his or her past experiences. Further, talking to a therapist is helpful because he or she is an impartial observer; there is no judgment. There is nothing you could possibly say that would surprise him or her, they are in this profession for a reason. They are merely another set of ears that may notice things that you cannot. When we are depressed or stressed, it is easy for us to overlook key components of our thought processes. These minute details can go a long way in the treatment of depression. Therapy has saved lives, and has been extremely helpful to countless others. You should be proud of yourself for sharing your feelings here on DF. This is an excellent first step; the next is finding a therapist that you feel comfortable with. Stay strong, and keep us posted.
  2. Hello, I am sorry to hear about your situation. I am glad that you decided to see a doctor and start medication, as you will be pleasantly surprised with its efficacy. I agree with the previous posts; most antidepressants come with side effects, it is merely finding one that works well for you. Further, activation side effects are common as the medication reaches a therapeutic concentration in the body. Most of these symptoms will diminish with prolonged use. This will take a few weeks, so do not lose hope. You should also try to continue exercising. As difficult as it may be to summon the energy while starting psychiatric medications, little behavior changes like this can be very helpful. As time progresses, if you are still experiencing unpleasant side effects, talk to your doctor about all of them, as well as your concerns. He or she will be able to help you decide what to do. Thanks for sharing. Keep us posted.
  3. Hello jesielin23, Though I have not taken Zoloft, I agree with Sheepwoman in that it depends entirely on how it affects you. When starting a medication you do not know much about, it is common to worry about the details regarding its use. I also agree that there are many other factors that may be contributing to your insomnia. As Sertraline will take a few weeks to reach a therapeutic concentration, your symptoms may present themselves during activation and then diminish over time. If you experience drowsiness, take it in the PM; if it gives you energy, the AM may be more appropriate. Even though this medication should be taken at about the same time every day, if your symptoms change, you can talk to your doctor and decide how to go about changing the time of day at which you take it. Talking to your doctor about all of your symptoms and concerns is essential, because you should never take 2 doses in a given day. So if you decide to change from night to day, or vice versa, your doctor should help you do so in a safe manner. Continue to stick with your medication and work through your Vicodin withdrawal. Sertraline has helped a lot of people, and you may become one of them. I wish you the best of luck. Be sure to keep us posted.
  4. Recovering from a jog and contributing to DF.
  5. Hello dubbemiah, Thank you for sharing your story, I'm sure it was difficult. I am sorry to hear about your experiences with medication and psychiatrists, as well as this lose-lose situation you have found yourself in. Life itself is relentless, and can break even the strongest people down. It takes so much effort to keep trying despite all the BS (for lack of a better term). Sometimes no matter what we do, the world continues to make things difficult for us. I completely understand this feeling. Even if I'm pessimistic and expect the worst, it doesn't change what happens; seeing it coming does not make it any easy to handle. I would get so angry, I would just look up to the sky and share my middle finger with whoever was up there punishing me for crimes I had not committed. I just thought "Can I just get a break?" There is nothing more frustrating than feeling like there is an external locus of control. Have you considered finding another psychiatrist, or letting him or her know how you feel? How you feel should be important to him/her, and it should not be surprising if a given medication does not work for you. It's trial and error. What is your withdrawal about? Are you switching medications, or tapering off completely (and why?)? It definitely seems like there is a lot more to accomplish in your treatment. Talk to your doctor, and mention all of your symptoms and concerns. You don't have to go through life feeling this way; there are plenty of effective treatments out there. Depression definitely affects our beliefs. I have been down this road many times, and have come out on the other side agnostic. I do believe that there is someone or something that created this world, but I refuse to believe that he/she/it plays any role in our everyday lives. There is too much misery in this world. "My faith has failed me time and time again So I no longer desire to smile and pretend That the universe tends to unfold as it should Or the way we grew up thinking it would God had His chance to prove His control To prove that any day He can play a role He failed to do so in every possible way So I no longer have a reason to pray No reason to believe it will do any good Or that God will act simply because He should" This is piece of one of my blogs. I talk a lot about religion and how my experiences have affected my beliefs. If you're interested, feel free to check them out here on my DF profile. I wish you the best of luck, and be sure to keep us posted.
  6. Though there are some success stories out there that describe people who have been "reborn" and came out on the other side better than before, my success story is not as dramatic. Cymbalta and Seroquel have helped me regain my motivation and energy, to the point where I am almost back to where I was before depression hit. It feels like it has been so long, I almost forgot what happiness felt like. Even if i was not "reborn", I feel much better. It took a lot of psychotherapy, different medications, and different dosages, but I am finally where I want to be. It is hard to not compare myself with the intense success stories, and wonder if more can be accomplished, but I am happy with my combination of medications.
  7. Hi Madpie, I would also like to welcome you to DF. It is great that you would like to help others struggling with issues you have dealt with and are dealing with currently. I look forward to hearing more from you.
  8. Hello henrithecat, I am sorry to hear about your current situation. Since you are not new to the area of depression, I'll spare you the facts. I'm sure you are well aware of the nature of depression, and even a view of the other side by the sound of things. What combination of medications have you been prescribed? I have also been down this road, feeling like I have finally found a medication or combination that will make me into the person I was long ago. Has this happened before? I felt this way many times, and after many different dosages and medications, I am finally on a stable point in my life. Even when my doctor and I found a good combination, I still had to increase the dose on my adjunct treatment 3 times before reaching this point. Because of the trial and error nature, I hope that you do not give up hope on your medications if they are not causing unpleasant side effects. I would talk to your doctor about all of your symptoms and concerns, and see what he or she thinks. Though I believe that depression gets worse before getting better, if this has happened to you before, I wonder if it's an adjustment that is needed. I am not a doctor and am only speaking from my own experience with psychiatric medications. Are you in therapy? The best treatment for depression is striking a balance between therapy and biomedicine. With major depressive disorder, one without the other leaves more to be accomplished. I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted.
  9. Hello sega18, I am sorry to hear about your current situation. I think that a lot of people struggle with this problem, when it comes to hobbies and recreational activities. It can become a problem when we lose interest in our jobs, careers, relationships, etc. Due to your fluctuations, I wonder if there isn't an underlying cause. You should consider starting therapy, and working through this issue. Do you become completely apathetic, or is there anxiety involved? Do you find yourself wanting what you can't have, and then once you get it, you don't want it anymore? I believe there is more to this than just human nature; I think it stems from somewhere else in an individual. You should also start trying to view your thoughts and feelings as an impartial observer, taking note of everything, and try to understand their manifestation. You may be surprised with what you may find. Good luck. Keep us posted.
  10. Hello, I believe I saw another post of yours here on DF. Things will get better if you are willing to take the necessary steps. Many of us struggle with our role in this world, which is rarely accompanied by an obvious answer. There are so many uncertainties that it is often difficult to sort through the facts of life. You are correct in thinking that self-medication is an answer to none of these questions. I had a lengthy phase of alcoholism, and there is one thing that I have learned: no matter how drunk or high one gets, the problems we were avoiding will always be there when we wake up. In my case, not only were my problems still there, but drinking caused even more. I have made more mistakes than I ever thought I would make, and most of them were due to alcohol. It's legality is a great rationalization, but alcohol abuse leads to other things that are not legal. When our judgment fades, we are no longer able to confront our problems. You mentioned medication, but are you in therapy? Sometimes it is good to have a professional to talk to about our problems. School work often adds to the stress we are already under, and our grades suffer because of it. I would recommend seeking the on-campus counseling services. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to vent here on DF. Keep us posted on your situation.
  11. Hello Nakor, I am sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation. I have run across similar problems in school. Depression affected my attendance and often caused me to miss deadlines. School started to seem like such a burden, one that I was completely unable to bear. I did my best to overcome this feeling, but never focused on the depression aspect. We all, at some time, suffer from terminal uniqueness - feeling like we are one of a kind and can rid ourselves of depression on our own. This is often not the case. If we are doing our best to tackle the struggles of school work and still find ourselves coming up short, it is often due to our underlying depression. Have you made steps toward confronting this issue? Therapy can be very helpful, especially when it comes to school-induced stress. Most universities have counseling departments, and they are often free of charge to students, for at least the first few sessions. I strongly recommend looking into this, as it will prove extremely beneficial. As hard as we may work in school, if we allow depression to manifest within, our progress will be limited. You should also talk to your doctor about all of your symptoms and concerns, as he or she may have further advice. Education is very important in this day and age, and it is obvious that you take studies seriously. Sometimes we all need help dealing with life's difficulties, and therapy helps an insurmountable number of people. I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted.
  12. Hello, I am sorry to hear about your current situation. It is good that you are reading books pertaining to your feelings, as this proves your desire to find a solution. Are you in therapy or taking medication? Emotional maturity is somewhat subjective, but is a stage of development many of us slowly pass over. People who are forced to grow up quickly tend to have a problem with this stage, as they never have the time to work on their response to these deep emotions. I think therapy would be a great way to confront this issue. Therapy can teach you how to understand your emotions, and make modifications when necessary. Starting therapy is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength and a willingness to change. You are not alone in your feelings. Thanks for sharing; your honesty is admirable. Good luck, and keep us posted.
  13. Hello twocolours, I am glad you decided to join DF, as there are many supportive people here. Don't be afraid to share your story with others, as there will certainly be people who can relate. I look forward to hearing more from you.
  14. Hello, There is no reason to be nervous about seeing a psychiatrist. He or she will be better prepared to see that your depression is managed. You will have to answer a few questions about your history, symptoms, medications, etc., but it does not take long. This is not meant to be an impersonal questionnaire, it is merely to help the psychiatrist understand your situation, which will lead to a better, more appropriate, treatment plan. I am glad that you will be seeing someone, as this is very beneficial in the treatment of depression. Stay open-minded when talking to your psychiatrist; explain all of your symptoms and concerns, even the ones that may seem irrelevant, as these are often very important. You should be proud of yourself for taking this step; it proves that you are determined to face your depression head-on and overcome it. Your psychiatrist has your best interests in mind, so he or she will not lead you astray. Just by having an appointment, you are making steps toward treating your depression. Good luck. Keep us posted.
  15. Hello, I believe that there are many things that can be categorized as unforgettable, whether it was positive or negative. I think it is less about forgetting, or even forgiving, and more of just putting it aside. Many of us have been affected by our parents; these things often shape our personalities whether we consent to it or not. We will, more than likely, never forget these things. Depending on their severity, we may never forgive. But we have to put them aside; if we allow them to manifest within, they will only cause further pain. If we have our best interests in mind, we will learn to do this at all costs. Depression is not always caused by childhood trauma, but it can contribute depending on the circumstances. The truth is, we are all damaged in some way by our parents; at the same time, not everyone becomes depressed. Whether it's biological, or some of us just lack the coping skills, we all must live with our experiences. Many people need therapy to learn how to push these memories aside, while others have an innate ability to do so. In short, and in my opinion, it is not about forgiving and forgetting, it's about accepting; accepting what was, what is, and what will be, whether in spite or despite our unpleasant experiences.
  16. Hello Brooks086, Thank you for sharing your story, as I'm sure there are a lot of people who can relate. Though our beliefs differ, I understand how you feel. However, I feel that in your post, lies the solution. I'm sure it is very difficult to forgive yourself for your actions, and I'm sure it has caused a tremendous amount of guilt, but you have learned from it. Everyone sins, it's human nature even when we strive for perfection. I believe Scripture states that all sins are equal. It is my opinion that, as long as your faith stays strong, you cannot fail Him. Just the fact that you are worried about what He thinks of your actions shows how much you truly believe. As hard as it may be to forgive yourself, I am confident that you have been given a clean slate. It is free will that allows us to make mistakes; from this, you have learned a lesson that many people will never learn. I admire your willingness to be honest about your feelings. Someone is watching over you, and sees the potential you have.
  17. Hello, I had problems with panic as well, on top of my depression. It is true that the unpleasant side effects often diminish once a therapeutic concentration is acquired. It is also possible that your decreased anxiety after one day of Cymbalta is a placebo effect. However, don't get me wrong, this doesn't affect Cymbalta's credibility. Some people are prone to the placebo effect, and as long as it is part of the solution, who cares if that's the reason. Cymbalta has done wonders for me, and I hope it continues to do the same for you. Your appetite should return to normal after a few weeks, and your libido may do the same. Antidepressants come with the risk of various libido issues, but many go away after the medication's activation phase. It seems like you have found a medication that will work for you. If things change and you start experiencing unbearable side effects, talk to your doctor about all of your symptoms and concerns. Until then, be happy that you have found an effective medication. Good luck. Keep us posted.
  18. Hello MidwestDepressed, I am sorry to hear about your current situation; depression causes daily life to feel like a burden. Have you considered therapy? This could help you learn coping skills and help you better understand why you feel the way you do. Medication is also an option, but that is up to you and your doctor. I recommend looking into therapy, even if it is only once a month, and it will prove extremely beneficial. You should also speak with your doctor, and explain all of your symptoms and concerns. If you both decide that the benefits of medication outweigh its possible side effects, you can always consider that as well. No one deserves to feel this way; there are various forms of treatment available, you just have to find the one that works for you. I wish you luck. Keep us posted.
  19. Hello Flapjack, I agree with the post by MaddieLouise, as this side effect comes with the territory. Often times, this side effect diminished over time, but this isn't always the case. Therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral, would help with your situation. Decreased libido is an effect of both psychiatric medications and depression itself. Therapy could definitely help you gain back this interest. Also, if you tried tapering off medication once before with negative consequences, I would imagine you should want to stay on it. You and your doctor have obviously decided that the benefits of your medication outweigh the possible side effects. If you have found a medication that works well for you, I would not stray from it, as not all medications will be as effective. Look into therapy, even if you only visit once per month, it will help. I wish you luck. Keep us posted on your situation.
  20. Hello, Sorry to hear about your problems with sleeping. I'm sure it will get better in time. I am impressed with your determination to stick to your medication, as this can be difficult when experiencing side effects. Continue to stay strong.
  21. Hello, I saw that you mentioned you were having problems with substances. Remember that abusing substances of any kind will counteract any progress you make with your cognitive processes. I completely understand your desire to self-medicate, but as I'm sure you know, it is only a temporary solution. All of your problems will still exist when you sober up, and depending on your decisions while high or drunk, may even make matters worse. I truly hope you are able to start therapy or medication, and learn coping skills that will allow you to manage your issues without substances. You hold a lot of promise, but a life without sobriety holds none. I wish you luck.
  22. Hello brooks086, I am also very sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation. It is completely normal to be upset given the circumstances, as this girl was not upfront about her feelings or lack thereof. I think this is why it is so painful. This relationship was extremely important to you, apparently one of your top priorities, and she treated like a weekend fling every few months. I am not you, therefore I do not know how you feel about this girl; there is no way to tell if it will work out. From your post, it seems that her feelings do not match your own. In my opinion, it seems that she is only tending to her wants and needs, and using you whenever she feels compelled to do so. What do you think about backing off a little bit? Her feelings may be a bit more obvious if you were to show her that she is no longer a priority. If she continues to think that you are waiting for her, what reason does she have to change? What if you stayed in touch, but seemed less interested; what if you let her know that you are not going to continue this way? If she had to decide between being no more than friends, or making you a priority, what would she choose? Her response might make your decision easier. You do not want to continue down this path if she is only concerned about herself. Sometimes two people just aren't meant to be. This may not be the case, but you deserve someone who will treat you with dignity. Good luck. Keep us posted.
  23. Hi Jessicaks, I am sorry to hear about your current situation. Sometimes life seems repetitive and boring, and it looks that way more often when we are depressed. Are you in therapy or taking medication? Therapy would be a great way to learn coping skills and techniques to manage your depression. Once you find a therapist you feel comfortable with, things will come much easier. You don't have to go through life being bored and pessimistic. Talk with a therapist and your doctor, explain all your symptoms and concerns, and see what they have to say. If they suggest medication, be open-minded about it. Psychiatric medications help a lot of people, and sometimes it is necessary to tackle the illness. Life really does get better; I used to be skeptical myself, but all that has changed. I wish you the best of luck. Be sure to keep us posted.
  24. Hello, I agree with IsoZeiss, believing that assertiveness and spontaneity are better terms. These are good qualities, and still capture what you are seeking. But beyond semantics, I see where you are coming from. The impulsivity and disinhibition can exist in a healthy fashion, putting denotations aside, and be experienced as spontaneity. Being spontaneous can increase pleasure, and can definitely affect one's depression. I think it is great that you are striving for this. I think this is an excellent goal to set, and wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted.
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