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SciFiBoy

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  1. mine traces back to when I started secondary school really, I didnt fit in at all and by the time I was 12 I was spending almost all my time outside of lessons by myself, I guess it dosent help that my two best friends werent around either, one moved away and I havent heard from him since, the other became a totally different person to who she used to be and we just drifted apart I guess, but at like 13 I was pretty much always alone, kids at school didnt like me becuase I was kinda weird and liked different things to them and once you have a label at school it sticks sadly, so being the weird loner was all I could ever be there. I got bullied alot at school as well, felt pretty crap and lonely all through it, then I went to college to do an IT course, that went okay, but I only really made one friend there even, then i went to Uni for the first time and whilst I did make friends I still felt really low all the time and then I feel behind on my course becuase I was ill so had to drop out of that, tbh I spent most of 2008 doing nothing and just in my room alone, after that I did voluntary work for a while, when I first started it was okay, but after a while I just lost all my motivation for it, luckily I managed to get into another college so didnt have to worry about that anymore, made friends on my course and did pretty well despite really struggling with how I felt still, so I guess that's good, just finished my first year of Uni even, which went well in terms of making friends, though none of them do I really feel able to talk to about this stuff :( idk, anyway I think I may have failed my first year becuase instead of working I spent alot of my time alone just feeling crap and wanting to do nothing, plus I had a really rough time toward the end of the year, what with exam stress on top of breaking up with my first ever girlfriend in what now seems like it wasnt even a proper relationship, I really couldnt cope and self harmed, now im home for the holidays, im alone, im tired all the time, I feel like crap about everything but I dont want to say anything cause my mum will just worry and I know she has her own things to deal with, my sister wouldnt understand and I have nobody I can talk to so I spend most of my time trying to distract myself with anything really, but none of it really lasts, frankly I dont know how much longer I can go on like this, feel like im wasting away :(`
  2. I find some brief comfort in my friends when I am with them, however I am too shy and low to ask them to hang out much and even when I do hang out with them part of me feels like they dont really want to be with me as im so pathetic, I also feel incredibly lonely all the time, even when im with them sometimes.
  3. 72 which I guess is bad, I feel pretty awful right now.
  4. I really can't keep doing this, going on through each day by myself, I hate myself, I hate the world I live in and I want to punish myself for how I feel, I spent the last hour trying to pluck up the courage to self-harm, I want to feel pain, I deserve to feel pain. im really near the bottom right now and I dont know how to get out. and oh yeah, these lyrics sum up far too many days of my life of late: "There's a club, if you'd like to go You could meet someone who really loves you So you go, and you stand on your own And you leave on your own And you go home And you cry And you want to die"
  5. Hi, I'm ok thanks, at my mums trying to improve my mood during my Easter holidays!

  6. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  7. I know what you mean. I experienced that exact thing from K through 12 and still do often at times. One thing that has been helping me recently for times like this is finding local groups near where I live in the areas of my interest through places like Meetup. It's not an immediate substitute for the kind of close personal relationships people like us need, especially after a break up but it can keep you busy and occupied so as not to give the depression the upper hand. well, I was doing okay last week because my friends were around, but term is over and they all went home, im not going back to the weekend but there arent many people around, im seeing a good friend on thursday though. tbh I think I have been depressed since 13/14 when I was at school, I got bullied alot and was kinda isolated and stuff, but I had a really low period in 2007 when I dropped out of Uni first time I went, and another one last year which is when they put me on anti-depressants, my homelife/family are good but I was really lonely at school so I figure thats how I became depressed, being at Uni this time has gone better so far until this breakup
  8. im 22 and I reccently had my first ever girlfriend, we were going out for like 2 months, but I found out she was seeing someone else via her facebook and she then called me to mock me about the fact she was seeing someone else, since this (like a week ago) I have been really depressed, so much so I feel actual pain in my chest and I find it hard to sleep at all or eat properly :( im not sure what to do because im worried if I dont feel better soon that I might end up hurting myself, ive even been thinking about overdosing on my medication
  9. hi, im 22 and im a student, diagnosed with depression about a year ago, but probably had it for much longer if im honest, lately things have been really hard, I have lots of trouble sleeping so im on 150mg of sertraline a day now, I also had a really bad breakup with my first ever girlfriend which has left me really really low, I find myself crying at random times and the only time I can feel happy is when talking to people I know, which I cant even do often anymore as term is over :(
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