Just Adam

I think he's playing you. Sorry to be so blunt. But I've seen things like this play out before. At worst, yeah you're just the side chick and at best he's nowhere close to being ready to settle with just one woman. I'll give you the same advice I would give any of my friends: "Get away." For your own long-term well being.

Thanks everyone.

It really is sad. And I've been to treatment for drinking. They were mostly like a glorified detox. More importantly, they didn't focus (at least not enough) on things like depression, which are often the underlying causes for substance abuse.

Missouri, in the U.S. My google searches aren't turning up much solid info.

It seems like there are plenty of places to go to for substance abuse treatment, even if you have no money. It seems to be far more rare for mental health treatment. I feel like I need to be hospitalized for weeks. Or in a rehab type of setting, but for depression and anxiety. I've checked myself in to hospitals 7 times in the last 10 years, but in my area you have to go in to the ER, tell them you are suicidal and that you have a plan. At that point you are literally locked inside and very little is done besides giving you medication. It's going to be months before my local mental health clinic can get me in to see a psych doctor and therapist. I don't know if I can wait that long out here in the world. I can't even begin to count how many times per day I think about suicide. I just want to be able to relax for once in my life.

Depends on my mood. Only when I have to in the phase I'm currently in, which is maybe 3 times a week for appointments or taking care of other responsibilities. I'm going to try to force myself to go to a friend's house tomorrow if I can.

Not being able to "just think about something else" is one of my biggest problems in life. During my toughest phases, it's like pure torture.

I've been where you are. I can't imagine a worse feeling, and I've been through it more than once unfortunately. I went to rehab while out on bail and it did help my case look better. More importantly though, it gave me just a little strength and hope that I might get through this ordeal. Only you can decide what's best for you. As for drug court, you have to REALLY be ready to devote yourself to that. It's not easy. It might be worth it though. Are you a felon already? If I could go back in time and have the chance for drug court on my first case and have it prevent BOTH jail and becoming a felon, I'd do it in a heartbeat. On the other hand, like I said, It is very difficult and I know more people who have failed at that program than succeeded.

I can relate to nearly all of it.

I've reallllllly been struggling with this. Some of it I can recognize as paranoia, even though it still bothers me. Other things, I don't think I have any way to be sure. Like if you think a friend did you wrong in some way, but you have no way to prove it. People can act like a friend to your face, but really be an enemy. In some cases there could be severe negative consequences if you guess wrong. That is just ONE example. But a couple cases of this, as well as many other things have been weighing on my mind heavily to the point that I lose sleep over it. That is a bad thing because I've never gotten much sleep anyway. And I'm guessing that the lack of sleep probably only increases the anxiety and paranoia.

I wish I had something encouraging to say. But my situation isn't much different than yours sounds right now.

I hope my home country, the U.S. wins, although I know that's a long shot. I've also kind of always liked Germany, and they are good, but I am not predicting they'll win. Brazil and Argentina are good. If I absolutely had to make a prediction, I'd go with Argentina. But it could be anyone. There certainly have been some great matches so far. It has been fun to watch.