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Everything posted by JonnySoze

  1. i am suffering with mixed feelings, i have gone back onto anti depressants this week. it took me over a month to get a doctors appointment because of an flu outbreak no appointments were available 😞 I have absolutely no problems in my life, no debts, no pressures and yet i get depressed ??? i have been thinking about bad times in my past and worrying about losing everything and going back to living like i was 20 /30 years ago i'm just going to have to suffer for a few more weeks until these anti depressants start working I will be able to think more clearly then
  2. It is quite rare for me to say this but i feel great, I'm really happy, the only problem i have when i feel like this , is that i worry that this won't last for long and something will happen to ruin things. I guess i should just enjoy feeling happy while it lasts. I know it won't last forever lol
  3. I'm also drinking too much but there is nothing else to do that makes my depression worse, i can rate the severity of my depression on how much i drink which at the moment is very severe I don't even want to go outside for a walk in the daytime anymore, all it ever does here is rain and its always cold. the thing is , i don't have many problems like other people do, i don't have money problems or extreme family problems, but yet im so down and depressed, i should not really be depressed, but i am and this endless lockdown has got me to the point of not being able to go on everyday is the same 😞
  4. I'm at the point I can't cope anymore, I have waited for this endless uk lockdown to end, and it just goes on and on and on and on I am just so bored, I am beginning to seriously lose my mind, and there is no one i can turn to, I can't go to any group or charity cause everything thing is in lockdown, I'm not even sure of what kind of help i need, im just sooo depressed, im bored i can't see a future, im married but im ruining that cause im taking all my frustrations out on her, I can't really talk to her about my state of mind, I'm not even sure what the hell is wrong with me anymore, i've been on anti depressants for over 12 months now, its the longest ive ever taken them for, Im usually a loner but there is nothing i would like better than to meet up with people and chat, I can't see an end to this covid thing it just goes on and on
  5. i read on yahoo there might be only be 12 months immunity once you have recovered, it would constantly be spreading around the globe which means life would never be the same again, if its true its sad news for bars and restaurants Our only hope would be a vaccine 😞
  6. It seems like we are all struggling, yesterday i got into an argument with a woman in the park when i was walking the dog, her son was running with a football and my dog is a puppy and she started running after him, she just thought he wanted to play, The woman ran up and tried to kick my dog, I just exploded with expletives I can't even go out and not get into some kind of trouble, I'm sooooo down I'm going to have to stop drinking alcohol for a while cause im so depressed, i think it is not mixing well with my mirtazapine, there seems to be nothing else to do, I can't see an end to it i'm not even going to bother getting out of bed today , there is no point!
  7. I feel like i am going crazy, i thought i would be ok with this lockdown as im not the most sociable person in the world, but it is getting to me now. I'm worrying so much about catching covid, i'm obsessed watching the news all the time, im very snappy and angry with my wife, shes sick of me and im sick of myself i got very drunk last night and sat in my back garden talking across the fence to my neighbours which i have never done before, i was just so bored im feeling shame and remorse because i was so drunk i was embarrassing, they made excuses and went inside saying they had to make tea 😞 so to sum things up, i'm slowly going crazy!!!
  8. Do You Wanna Know How I Feel? I Feel I Could Of Done Better! I could of done better in life, now and then!
  9. i feel awful ! i lose everything and everyone i have ever loved
  10. More than 1,000 rhinos killed by poachers in South Africa last year Does that not make you feel depressed?????????????????????????? the world is dying and we are doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every news article i read depresses me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  11. Do you know? the reality of it is, NOone can say anything that will make me feel better or comfort me
  12. i have just took my cat the vet to be put down for having cancer she has been going downhill for the last 6 months but i have only noticed that in hindsight and now i feel guilty and my girlfriend's sister has just been diagnosed as having cancer last week. but i have just had 3 bottles of red w ine so im not feeling too bad !!!
  13. yeah i have that too i'm one of few people left in the world that don't even have a mobile phone
  14. Here's a little song I wroteYou might want to sing it note for noteDon't worry, be happyIn every life we have some troubleWhen you worry you make it doubleDon't worry, be happyDon't worry, be happy now
  15. I think it helps a little bit ive been going to the gym for about 2 yrs now and i would say it lessens depression by about 10% Im not sure if it is because of the Endorphins created when training or just the sheer fact that im doing something other than dwelling on the past. if you want to bulk up try taking some protein powder and creatine, that will work for you obviously after the age of 34 the muscle growth is less so just be patient ;-)
  16. im sorry but she sounds like shes a crazy woman i have had the tendency in the past to deeply fall in love with crazy women the sex is wonderful but they are just too crazy in general life i know you won't listen to anything i have to say because you have fell too deeply into the abyss good luck
  17. i can relate to the worries and fears you have in getting an interview. You seem to be doing well in overcoming your fears. maybe try to look at the interview as a learning experience, the more you do something the easier it gets. so even if you don't get the job, the next interview you have will be easier
  18. welcome to the site babydoll I hope you find the site helpful good luck
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