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lostguy

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  1. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  2. Elfie, Depression alone is more than enough for anyone to have to cope with, without having re-occuring health issues compounding the situation. I can only imagine what a difficult time you are experiencing right now. Stay strong in your belief that things will get better and that with God's help you will overcome this. Keep posting whenever the need arises, we are here to listen always. Take care and hope that you are feeling better.
  3. Ok, I read the co-dependency sticky at the top of the Relationship forum and I don't fit that, but maybe the person I love fits it in some ways? I am a little confused, so maybe picking this book up will enlighten me and clarify my otherwise cloudy mind right now. I just don't feel certain about anything these days. Sorry for hi-jacking this thread. Just found myself drawn to it and the quotes dohta had posted to it made me realize I am still trying to fix something when the best thing I can do right now is just focus on me right now. Thanks KA I will try to pick this book up and hope it helps me understand this topic more and help me as much as it has all of you.
  4. (((((((Elfie))))))), My prayers and love go out to you. I know by the grace of God that you will overcome what you are going through. Thanks for all the support you have shared with all of us. It's not selfish of you to concentrate on yourself for the time being, we will miss you moderating in this forum. Take good care of yourself. God Bless
  5. Wow dohta the passages you took from the book really hit home for me. I guess maybe I am a bit co-dependent myself. I will have to look into this book and see what it contains. Might help me to not feel so helpless in my current situation.
  6. ((((((((Codabugg)))))))), I can relate to your pain and suffering concerning not being able to have the love of your life be a part of your life now and forever. I too can't seem to have mine in my life right now either, due to issues from her past that she hasn't been able to completely resolve within herself. I had to actually distance myself from her as of late, because I saw that it was hurting not only myself, but her as well by trying to force something that just wasn't going to happen for the time being. I am sure that both Art.chick and Gonzo weren't trying to be critical of you. I think as they have pointed out, that they wanted you to have self reflection and see things that you might have been blinded to, when we tend to let our own emotions get the better of ourselves. I know that I often get this way because I am someone that often allows my heart to dictate my actions rather than tempering it with reasoning. The sad part of this is that we often tend to get hurt more often than those that do have a good balance between the two, but also it is bad to be the person that reasons everything out and never allows their emotions to play a part either. We have to find a balance of some sort.(Something I am trying to work on because I allow my heart to lead to much in my life) I truly hope that you don't shut everyone out in your life right now and decide to cope with this alone. I tried to do this for a few months and to be truly honest it only made things worse for me. I want you to know that the people here in DF do genuinely care and want to provide the support and help that we sometimes aren't able to find in our own lives. I'm truly sorry and want to apologize if you feel that they were only being critical of you. We try not to judge others on here because none of us are perfect and we are all on here for support and a listening ear, when we feel as though we have no where else to turn. Please allow us to be that for you especially if you feel like you have no one else that can relate to you. I hope you are doing well and taking good care of "yourself". My prayers and hopes are with you that hopefully things work out for you. Know that we are here for you whenever the need arises. Please let us know how your doing.
  7. I don't think that I am better, so much in that I have learned to cope with it or rather bury those feelings so deep within me, so I can lead some semblance of a life. A very pathetic life though it seems to me. For me, I seem to notice that I am getting to be more distant and elusive as I get older and I noticed that I am more cynical of life in general, maybe a way to shield myself from getting hurt by others and also from my own feelings as well? Well, enough of my meaningless rantings. Sorry if I got off topic.
  8. Hey azncollegegurl21, I haven't read through all the posts in this thread, just your last post. (I apologize if you have already heard this from others already) I'm glad to hear that your anger and resentment towards your church is finally dissipating. Some churches can be a bit over zealous and even cult like to an extreme. What really matters is that you have a solid relationship with God and while it is nice to find a church that helps you in your quest to become closer to God, I don't believe that people need to attend mass/services in order to be accepted by God. As you posted in another thread as long as you accept Jesus as your saviour and do your best to live the way of Christ, then in God's eyes you will find everlasting salvation in Heaven once your time comes. God is everlasting and so is His love and patience for us. He will never abandon you, even though at certain points in our lives it may seem so. There are no strings attached when it comes to God, only that you love Him, accept Him as your saviour, and do your best to live a life of Christ. God never lets us go, it is usually us that abandon Him, if only temporarily. I sometimes like to think of the story of the prodigal son which often reminds me of how we sometimes can lose our way and abandon our Father (God), but at any point if we truly want Him back in our lives, He is always there waiting to accept us back into His light. I don't think you are screwed up in the least, you are just trying your best in this sometimes crazy existence as we all are, to understand our place in the world and to find everlasting peace/salvation through God. As long you keep your faith in God I am sure you will be fine and as I stated earlier I don't think you need to go back to your church if you don't feel comfortable with their doctrines and beliefs. (especially if they are cult like) I hoped I helped and didn't confuse you even more. I too am at a point where I am attempting to strengthen my relationship with God and trust in Him that He knows what is best for me in my life. I have to admit I have my days where I doubt the path He has me on. I just need to keep faith.
  9. Blossom, I hope you didn't take what I wrote as being critical of you, because that wasn't my intention. I am certain that many of us here, myself included have self doubt and low self esteem at times, especially when depression is hitting us the hardest. I know how you are feeling though and to be truthful I don't think too highly of myself either right now in my life. I am having a rough go at it. This site helps to at least anchor me in some ways, knowing that I am not alone as I feel in all this. I hope that we provide this for you as well and everyone else who comes here seeking support and comfort. I wish you well and hope that you are able to find the peace and serenity in life we all are searching for. God Bless.
  10. I was thinking that you were trying to imply that often when we tend to exude an attitude of Pollyanna, that we come across to others as being naive and gullible. I guess your perspective is totally different. You are saying is that you don't want to become so trusting of others intentions (giving them the benefit of the doubt), that you give those that truly didn't have any good motives behind their actions, the benefit of the doubt that there weren't any ulterior motives. I can understand your point of view and while you can't be distrusting of every person you come into contact with, you also have to temper it with a little cynicism too. Unfortunately the world we live in doesn't live with an attitude of being Pollyanna and there are many that would try to take advantage of someone with this mindset. I guess the best policy is to give someone the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. Just as the saying goes "innocent until proven guilty". I suppose in the example that you supplied you just have to use your own judgement and even though you could think they meant to stay unbiased and not influenced by the expensive gifts, you already knew in your own mind that it was inappropriate given the circumstances. If they had any scruples, they too would have seen this as inappropriate as well to accept such expensive gifts given their influential position.You sort of answered your own question.
  11. Elfie, At least your day started off well, such is luck sometimes that it just doesn't want to stay that way. Hopefully your day is going better now and hopefully DH won't have a rough day today either, so you have to tend to his neediness, when you have enough to deal with staying positive yourself. You have to admit the Star Trek series can become addictive to even those of us with little to no obsessive disorders. lol I have to agree that the Star Wars trilogies are better than the Star Trek motion pictures, but Star Wars never had any syndicated tv series to follow. I enjoy them both though too. Take care and God Bless.
  12. Elfie, Sorry to hear that you still are having a difficult time right now. Hang in there and let God take some of that burden from you. I know it's hard to at times and I should know it seems like I hang onto mine tenaciously and won't let go, something I am trying to learn to do these days. I hope that the psychologist works out for you and is able to refer you to someone that can prescribe medications for you. My best friend's father is a psychologist and he told me that they pretty much have the same credentials and their knowledge in the field overlap one another. He said the main difference is that a psychologist tends to try to focus on the social/society's affect on our mental state, while a psychiatrist tends to focus more of the medicinal and chemical imbalances in our bodies. Thus the reasoning that psychiatrists prescribe medicine to restore our chemical imbalances, while a psychologist works on our cognitive thoughts (psychotherapy) underlying the issues at hand. I am sure you are already well aware of the differences between the two though. :) My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope that you are feeling better soon. Take care and God Bless.
  13. Aerials, Welcome to DF. You have a very interesting point in that God is infallible, omniscient, and omnipotent. When looking at this from your point of view it does seem like there is a paradox in that God gave us freewill and yet He knows how all events will transpire even before we make decisions in our lives. So from this perspective it seems like as you said, that all things are predetermined or predestined to follow a set course that God had already planned. My perspective however falls more along the lines, that yes God knows what the outcome of our decisions will be before we have made them, but allows us to make them even if they don't follow the intended plan that He truly wanted us to follow. If God didn't extend freewill to us, then what would prevent all of us leading a happy and prosperous life, following the Lord's path in life and eventually finding ultimate salvation in Heaven? I am sure if everything was predestined, that God would have made it so that we all lived in peace and harmony on earth and would eventually find our way to His kingdom in Heaven. Unfortunately this isn't so or else we wouldn't have a need for a forum such as this or have other tragedies in life or diseases and sicknesses in the world. This isn't to say that God doesn't know the outcome of what will happen before it happens, just that He allows us to make our own decisions, even if the outcome isn't one that He truly intended for us. This really makes one think, because yes He could directly affect how we live our lives, but then that would take away the gift of freewill that He bestowed upon us. If He just instilled His will upon our existence then there never would have been a need to cleanse the earth as He did the first time with the Great Flood. I may be right or I may be wrong, because I am not infallible or omnipotent as God is and only He truly has the answer to this quandary in our lives.
  14. Cross The young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. "Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear." The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish." The man was filled with relief. "Thank you, Lord," he sighed, and he did as he was told. Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered. And the Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in." When life's problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined.
  15. I have been feeling really down lately, but supressing these negatives thoughts as best I can. I have even been hiding them from my closest friends, because it only seems to worry them and I don't want to cause any additional burdens in their own lives. It's just so hard to keep this mask on of being happy (moving on), when truly I am only more despondent than before and I feel as though the future is even more bleak than ever. I guess it doesn't help that I have been sick with a cold and started having these migraines. I have attempted to read the bible and trying to hold onto my faith. It just has been getting more and more difficult to truly believe that God will take my burdens from me, if I just allow him to take them. I hope these guidelines help to remind you as they did me, what we sometimes fail to remember when in the throes of depression. Ten Guidelines From God Effective Immediately, please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. Please, follow these 10 guidelines 1. QUIT WORRYING: Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way? 2. PUT IT ON THE LIST: Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And al though My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize. 3. TRUST ME: Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask. 4. LEAVE IT ALONE: Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job. 5. TALK TO ME: I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend. 6. HAVE FAITH: I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be? 7. SHARE: You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none. 8. BE PATIENT: I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush. 9. BE KIND: Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences. 10. LOVE YOURSELF: As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget...... Note: I received this from a friend and I have no idea who wrote it, but I was so touched by it, that I had to share it with you. I hope that you will be blessed by it and will share it with others. Touch someone with your love. Rather than focus upon the thorns of life, smell the roses and count your blessings
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