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Everything posted by sabishikunaru

  1. As the others suggested: pick a career (or two or three related ones) that interests you and then choose a major that allows you to specialize skills for the particular flavour of that profession (or alternatively, choose one that "marries" the 2-3 careers that you can't choose between). Don't underestimate the benefit of having diverse but related skills. Look into interdisciplinary degrees and see if some of those specializations or unique focuses are more inspiring to you. Also, it sounds like you're motivated to do well, and perhaps believe in yourself and that getting somewhere is about hard work and not special talents. That's a great attitude to have. Keeping that spirit up will serve you well.
  2. Hi there dupius, sorry I've been away from the forums a while. I don't think (at least as far as I know) there's any concern about people trying to get "high" on it. Just typical controlled substance procedures they have for any prescription drug. What I was suggesting, though, is to see if you can get a real, bricks-and-mortar Canadian pharmacy to communicate directly with your existing doctor/psychiatrist. I would think that as long as the prescription can be verified, you should be able to get it filled.
  3. Although the administration of health care (and associated regulations, presumably) is technically handled separately by each province, I'd highly doubt you could find over-the-counter Wellbutrin, considering the risk of seizures and all. Have you looked into just taking your prescription in? Maybe call a pharmacy you'd like to visit and ask them if they can call your doctor long distance. Larger chains like Shopper's Drug Mart have pharmacy assistants answer the phone who would likely be able to answer your general questions. *edit* btw, welcome to the forums. I hope you'll find this useful for whatever you need. :)
  4. For myself I notice it has a lot to do with certain factors. My level of concern gets tangled up in a bunch of intertwined factors that either enhance each other or cancel each other out. Some of them include who I'm around (somehow I'm fine around brand new ppl or most ppl I've known a long time, but acquaintances I've recently met and certain specific people I've had a history of bad experiences with are hugely triggering). If I haven't slept well/eaten well or if I've otherwise stressed myself out somehow, then I'm far more prone to being easily offended or irritated. If I'm called upon to do something else, I get annoyed and have trouble hiding it. If I'm being watched while doing something I get caught up in a mental loop of how they misunderstand me as not knowing the things I mess up on when actually I know the thing very well and it's just that my working memory is often very poor. On stimulating medications I seem to effortlessly avoid being so oversensitive though.
  5. They've been running those TV ads for a while with construction workers and others checking each others' stereotypes or other stigmatization of mental illness. (One of those ads has been running in the background in my head for probably a good month now off and on, like an earworm.) Just want to say that while I'm not a fan of any big Telecommunications company, they do have the right approach here. I'm beyond sick of PSAs that single out those with mental illness to end the stigmatization as if it's coming (primarily) from us, or we have the power to stop it by "coming out." You have to target the general public, not just tell people with mental illness to "speak up" as if we don't face repercussions in our work/academic/social lives if we do.
  6. Ah ha, so it seems I wasn't far off in my guess. Can you suggest any resources for further information about this? Who coined that terminology and are there specific strategies for expanding people's perception of available options? In my case it's more a matter of prioritization and organization that make it hard for me to figure out if an alternative is realistic, but I'm sure I could benefit from any established structures in place for helping people explore their options. In fact that's a kind of support I've wished I could have for a while now).
  7. Interesting, but what are "rescue factors" if I may ask? Does it just mean to search for a reasonable/plausible way out of one's current troubles, or is it something more technical than that?
  8. I suspect what's best depends on the person and the cause of the anxiety, but I'll share what seems to work for me. • going somewhere dark and quiet (bedroom, bathroom, whatever-- introverts will know what I mean) • listening to something relaxing on headphones (especially ASMR for me, but also nature sounds, etc.) • enjoying favourite (healthy, whole) foods • reading/watching a favourite piece of fiction • cleaning, oddly (especially if shame is involved)
  9. If it can hurt you, it's actually far braver not to drink-- especially if there are people around who might try to tempt or pester you into it.
  10. I generally test INTP (sometimes INFP) on Myers Briggs and it largely fits me. It doesn't cover everything and isn't meant to do the same thing as Enneagram, as Fizzle mentioned above. A year ago maybe, a therapist who knows Enneagram (which I don't, but I *am* fairly familiar with MBTI) once suggested I was probably a 5 when I said I thought I was either a 5 or 4 (thanks to having explored a previous counsellor's suggestion that I check out Enneagram). I think part of it comes down to how well you know yourself, and part of it comes down to how well the resource you're using presents these tools for self understanding. People get very confused about MBTI, for example, when they think that there's no difference between things they do because they have to and things they would do if they could. There's also a common misconception that you have to be a 100% match of your type at all times and that we don't grow and develop our other characteristics. Many of the quizzes I see online, in fact, are misleading in my opinion because they also fail to make that same distinction. I suspect similar misunderstandings might come into play for Enneagram.
  11. I don't understand why people who haven't even taken the time to educate themselves on the topic feel qualified to trash ADHD patients and well-researched (as in decades of literature here) medications that have literally turned countless people's lives around. I'm pretty sure most stimulants for ADHD have better scientific backing than most antidepressants for depression do, but I'd still never tell a depressed person for whom SSRIs were effective not to take an antidepressant because it was "only treating the symptoms." In brain scans people with ADHD consistently have reduced activity in the frontal lobe as compared to those who don't. Instead of just serotonin like depressed people, folks with ADHD (also) lack norepinephrine and dopamine. I intentionally use depression as a comparison there because I'd expect folks with depression should know better than to assume that because the root cause isn't definitely known, one should invalidate the use of very effective medication that allows people who are struggling to get through school or hold down a job to start making some real progress in their lives. When we can't get to root causes (and remember there doesn't only have to be one and that complicates things), of course it's only natural to treat the symptoms. I mean would you prefer people just suffer with their overactive brains instead? Considering ADHD commonly runs in families, I wonder what anti-medication people would say if it turned out to be 100% genetic... Serotonin from antidepressants seems to be useless to me, and Wellbutrin didn't do much either, but a stimulant actually stops my brain from constantly trying to push me onto different activities, calms down my constant overwhelm from every little sound around me, and that calm and quiet it brings helps me remember the things I have to do a little better (since my working memory is generally shot most of the time). I'm learning tricks to manage not having much working memory, but they are literally too hard to practice without medication. The only other ways I know of to get some peace and not constantly be overwhelmed by every little noise around me, seeing a cluttered room, etc., etc. is to turn to fiction, games, or the Internet. Yeah, that'll help me get lots done! I have a million things I want to do every day-- both ongoing and temporary-- and would love to see something through to completion and yet I never finish anything I start, whether I start it late (all too often) or not. In case I didn't mention it above, I have been checked for endocrine issues, have long since corrected some very minor vitamin and mineral insufficiencies (neither was even low enough to call a "deficiency"), I eat and sleep well, and I'm mindful of my stress levels. My mood has been relatively stable for a good year. I'm not particularly anxious anymore either. And yet starting long before I ever had depression, I always struggled with being easily hurt, sensorily overwhelmed (especially by sounds), forgetting countless things all day, and have been teased and/or talked down to for seeming "confused" all my life despite being reasonably intelligent. Since I wasn't a disruptive troublemaker as a kid, and perhaps because I did well enough in a highly structured school environment as well, nobody guessed my weirdness might be ADHD, and then when you're an adult you're pretty much on your own so that was the point I started to sink after swimming a very short way.
  12. I've been thinking about this idea lately myself. Like how anxious people can be the safest people to be around because they sense danger the fastest (and/or can anticipate negative outcomes and prepare for them), depressed people can also do similar things that are useful for planning/avoiding hardships. Obviously there's still a lot of struggle involved but it's possible that on better functioning days, a person can learn to use the insight anxiety and depression bring to help plan for contingency.
  13. Personally I'm getting really sick of the supplement industry and certain other self-interested parties trying to invalidate the experiences of people with ADHD because supposedly "too many people" are diagnosed with it. Many people get misdiagnosed with all sorts of illnesses. There probably are very few that don't overlap with something else. As someone who is in the process of getting diagnosed with ADHD later in life after spending years wasting my time thinking it was my thyroid or primary depression (as opposed to secondary), I'm leery of the idea that ADHD is somehow "overdiagnosed." I don't think there's any evidence of that at all, anywhere.On the contrary, I suspect it's far more likely to be massively underdiagnosed in people who-- like me-- do fit the criteria but don't fit the stereotype.
  14. Thanks for the poll. I hadn't seen this before. I appreciate seeing how the collective responses have added up. btw my "other" vote refers to a) being disconnected from the ancient culture of my ancestors (both my parents are from the same country but I've never seen that country nor did I learn the language or get much immersion in our culture) b) not knowing my extended family/never having had siblings or close friends
  15. I agree with frozen. Just because some of us have more physiologically responsive symptoms, doesn't mean everyone will respond the same way. It's just like how some people can be depressed despite being in their ideal life situation (thereby ruling out situational depression for such people). I second the tip about hashing things out with a good therapist or truly understanding/supportive/nonjudgmental loved ones. I'd also suggest not only asking your doctor to check over blood work with you, but also to screen out any other related/similar/overlapping illnesses just to be sure (such as thyroid issues, ADHD, etc.).
  16. I'm sorry Teddy. I kind of know how that feels. Do you find it's draining suppressing your indignation? My mother is similar, but instead of making fun, she makes up random (completely false) accusations against my father and I, even in front of non-family third parties (with the implication that they should either judge us by her words, "rescue" her, or both). The best answer I have found when she's acting like that is just to leave as soon as possible. I suspect when on Concerta (new prescrip) I might be able to make a joke out of it. I have seen other people do well with that but I'm always either too horrified (not literally scared but just shocked yet again at how demoralizing it is not to have had her as a loving parent) or indignant to be able to pull it off. It's a vicious cycle for me. Greater tiredness = greater quickness to anger; resisting button pushing = greater tiredness. :/
  17. ASMR (mostly to help me sleep, but it can also be uplifting) learning/expanding knowledge (nonfiction books/blogs/podcasts/tutorials/free courses online) gaming (the more immersive the better; like sober4life said) fiction (endearing characters + compelling narratives occupy heart and mind;) cleaning (exceptional outlet for times I'm angry, but any time I have the energy it will lift my mood) walking outdoors with specific purpose and destination (wandering is very depressing to me) online social interactions* (fandoms and forums, largely) *I've thought about it and I think in-person and online social interaction are both beneficial in different ways, with each having their own drawbacks. It's better to have both if you can, imo. I wish there was more open and honest exploration of these topics rather than all the shaming and invalidation of folks looking to connect with others online, yet I rarely ever see such a thing from a mainstream source.) Love the LP analogy. :)
  18. Not necessarily. I'd think it would only come into play if one is experiencing a strong emotion at the time. Most of us generally know how strongly we feel about things that are happening, so that would presumably be the starting point. Isn't this along the lines of tactics psychs try to teach people for detaching from overly strong emotions? If someone has a problem with impulsiveness it will be extra hard to deal with but I think there is still the ability to work with managing emotions in that case a swell.
  19. I didn't see this before! Had a hard time answering because multiple answers were equally true for me on every question. I'm not the same about anger, every time it happens. Generally speaking I can say that I think it through and realize why I'm angry-- often (but not always) in real time. I realize why I can't help letting it out more of the times I'm angry than I'd like to be. I've kind of fallen into a weary acceptance that sometimes anger is going to be justified and sometimes it isn't. When you're around an abusive person though, it can get extremely difficult to draw the line between defending yourself and lashing out unfairly. You're constantly on the defensive, trying not to give ground as the other person attempts to run roughshod over boundaries and your sense of self. That can mean a lot of false positives (in terms of perceived matters I should/shouldn't be defending myself against). Add that I currently have no one to talk to into the mix and it makes it harder for me to keep things to myself or be assertive, though I still manage to do both of those somehow. If I'm tired, I will typically just end up shouting though. In a sense it's funny how I manage to find the energy to do that usually only when I have no energy left. Forgot to say: other people's anger can be very hard for me to take for a multitude of reasons but if I mess up I will generally accept that I did so and apologize. I'm proud of my ability to do that, since I know a lot of people who won't, or who will make it a "tit for tat" thing and fish around for something to be critical of me for when I bring up a legitimate complaint. I am also proud I don't pull that kind of behaviour.
  20. • weird • useless • dilettante • lazy • alone • loser Hmm. Is there an "angels" thread already for the good things we think about ourselves?
  21. The soda connection is interesting. I also had to quit caffeinated sodas due to sensitivity! Ginger ale was already my favourite though so I drank that instead for a long time, until I quit drinking soda/pop altogether to avoid the sugar. I wonder if going off caffeine can be like going off an antidepressant for most/some people? If my current caffeine challenge continues to go well, then I look forward to upgrading to green tea, then black tea, and finally decaf and then regular coffee. Would be so amazing to have all of those back in my life again (but I also still like herbals so those won't be going anywhere haha). :)
  22. I suspect what we know about neurotransmitters is probably mostly correct, but like you mentioned there are just so many of them that what we do know is metaphorically equivalent to when a kid starts one of those puzzle games in which you're supposed to guess what object you're looking at based on an extreme close-up. One of the things we know (but surprisingly isn't that widely talked about) is that serotonin doesn't do much for depression. It's more like a counterbalance to norepinephrine (though I expect GABA would work best for controlling anxiety?), from what I've read-- and most SSRIs raise both (but mostly serotonin). Most ADHD meds (which are generally targeted to those with hyperactive type) tend to target dopamine and norepinephrine. I forgot to mention before just in case anybody wasn't aware: decaf still has caffeine in it! That's why I can't drink even decaf coffee. Unpleasant reactions. (However, so far so good-- I've done a couple of days w/ the white tea, then one without, and now one with again, and no negative symptoms as of yet even though I *have* reacted to this exact tea in the past.) I'm thinking of trying chicory-based coffee alternatives at some point in the future, and letting rooibos have another chance (after years) very soon despite not liking the taste the first times I tried it.
  23. Even though it had to be caffeinated coffee, that doesn't mean it had to be the caffeine. It's not just caffeine that gets filtered out of decaf. Could be the antioxidants or other such plant compounds. That being said, as Els1e mentioned, caffeine boosts dopamine and norepinephrine. The brain can develop dependence on it (which is not inherently a bad thing if it works for you), and that's what often throws people off with headaches, fatigue, and potentially even depression if they go off caffeine suddenly. Unfortunately links aren't allowed on these forums, but if you check McGill university's "The Brain From Top To Bottom" pages, you can find a simple explanation (with short flash animations of synapses no less) how it works like other drugs (alongside explanations for nicotine, morphine, etc.). Also like Els1e, I have problems with caffeine, both digestive (above a certain level) and in terms of heightened stress/anxiety/insomnia (seemingly at any level if it comes in a daily dose). An odd thing since it does literally nothing to either my alertness level or mood whatsoever. (Meanwhile I have cognitive and physical signs of LOW norepinephrine?) Every now and then (like months to years in between) I'll do a caffeine challenge to see if I can tolerate it again like I did when I was younger, but so far I've failed them all after a few days of very modest caffeine intake. I guess everybody's different. I started one such slow and tentative challenge a couple of days ago actually. And I mean super-tentative: Fujian province-sourced white tea is supposed to be low in caffeine and I'm drinking half a cup of that a day without brewing it particularly strongly. I'll be ecstatic if there's some small level of caffeinated beverage I can handle for more than 2-3 days without reacting because so far I haven't been able to do that with even weakly brewed green tea.
  24. It's very hard to tell what that could be. Depression, bipolar depression, and ADHD (since you mentioned the procrastination started in childhood) are also possible, just for starters. Maybe exploring lists of symptoms for the conditions mentioned so far might help you whittle this down?
  25. This is a difficult subject. Of course ideally we should be the masters/architects of our own lives, but that's not actually true. We have partial control in most cases, but a lot of it is completely beyond us. The level of opportunity wherever you're raised, whether you're abled or disabled, and so on, can work in your favour, can be stacked against you, or somewhere in between. We're all living a constant gamble-- and money is not the only thing we're gambling. I believe happiness comes from a combination of good physical and mental health. I mean both of those terms in the most broad sense possible, so that means living a secure (independence without struggling) life with adequate purpose and opportunity, knowing you have a place in society, and not living under inordinate stress. (Stress is a good thing in moderation but obviously becomes increasingly damaging after a certain point.) Yet all of us live under a certain set of constraints. Those with money (which society increasingly deems the only form of wealth that matters) can often buy themselves at least part of the way out of a lot of those constraints (i.e. better health care, better housing/infrastructure, better/more food, better/more education, cleaner environment, lucrative social connections due to living in the right neighbourhood or going to the right school, etc., etc., etc.), while the rest of us either struggle to pay or have to find a whole other way (if any at all) to deal with constraints we either didn't put upon ourselves, or did so mistakenly. As the OP stated very well, there are indeed situations which are very difficult to get out of in which people can influence our happiness. Training ourselves to accept things can be helpful in some instances but I literally get angry when I read advice that fails to mention how counterproductive "acceptance" is to people in abusive or exploitative situations, or gives people an ultimatum to "forgive" as part of their healing process even though not everyone can or needs to forgive an abuser/exploiter. After all, what's "healing" to a person is going to depend on their own values and not what others think.
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