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HarleyQ last won the day on March 1 2018

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About HarleyQ

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  • Birthday 01/03/1973

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  1. Hello. :-) I identify as a NonTheist (Which includes Atheism and some Agnosticism) 1.) Perhaps Look into Buddhism. Buddhists are *not* theists. Also, it is both a religion and philosophy. Someone can follow Buddhist philosophy without being a Buddhist. 2.) Maybe look into Taoism. The Tao is defined as: Meaning 'way', 'path', 'route'. Also a philosophy. It's my belief that we follow the *same* thing. The only difference is what word(s) we are comfortable using as a descriptor. As such, I will use secular "prayers" and the like. I also have no problem translating traditional prayer into a language that suits me.
  2. Thanks for the note! I hope you have a fabulous day too! :-)

  3. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  4. Okay then. My doctor has told me today that she thinks I'm in a mixed state. I had thought so myself, but didn't dwell on it. Because, frankly, nothing about it looks good! So, Ever since she gave me the written assessment today (first thing this morning) I've been feeling 10X more agitated and 10X more unsettled. The racing thoughts are getting worse, but that was over the last few days. I talked to her about that this morning. As, I'm waking up with them. I'm sleeping through the night with the help of a sleeping aid. But, I wake up with racing thoughts and I feel cloudy all day on top of it. Which has me wondering if my brain actually is getting any rest at all! I'm pretty self aware (thank goodness) I'm very much aware, I'm a nut inside. I'm doing a good job keeping it under the surface. I have an appointment with the Psychiatrist on the 28th. I have my therapists cell number in case I totally lose it. But, it's been a really slow progression. So, while I'm a mess. I feel safe enough that I'll be okay until the 28th. I have two questions: 1.) I know the anti-depressants will take a while. Frankly, I don't care. It's the racing thoughts and agitation that are so friggin annoying. How long does it take the mood stabilizers to typically quell *these* symptoms? If I go on Lithium or another 2 in 1 drug. Will the manic symptoms get better before the depression? Or, will it take the customary 6 weeks to see improvements on both issues? 2.) Has anyone had to ride out a mixed episode. If so, are there particular things that you've done that has helped with the racing thoughts. I already do a number of things to help with the depression including excersize. Are there any particular morning/afternoon activities that help? As it is now, I can't handle T.V. or the Radio. The internet is great for me because it moves as fast as I want it too. I have no control over the T.V. or radio so I feel overwhelmed by them. TV shows and commercials run to slow. The radio just begins to overload my senses period. On the internet, I type very quickly and read very quickly. I'm in total control of the speed. There is no noise to overwhelm me. Does that make sense?
  5. Have you looked into sleep hygiene? I didn't know there was such an idea until I stumbled upon it. You'll find some good tips if you google "Sleep Hygiene".
  6. Well, there are. But, they're not called rehabs. Rehab is a word reserved for drug abuse or alcoholism, typically. Anyone interested in a depression "rehab" should be thinking instead of the word "retreat". Wellness retreats or spiritual retreats. That sort of thing.
  7. My husband was the same way. In my case, it turned out he was addicted to prescription pain medication. Which, could have nothing to do with you're case. Throwing it out there anywoo.
  8. Oh, I missed the question: Did it actually help? Hmmm... Yes. I think it did. Or will, having been through it. But, I probably didn't have to stay so long in the chaotic limbo I made it into for myself. If that makes sense.
  9. Well, in may case, I think it's about two things: 1.) My *perception* of the various forms of self-help and 2.) The amount of it I was doing. I can't find the right words to convey what I mean about the perception..... I guess because like so many others, I have a flurry of issues, I could pick any one of them to read about or discuss daily. Because so many things seem to apply, I felt like I got lost. Too many guru's speaking in my head, sorta. :-) Which resulted in feeling hopeless in a sense. Many self-help type programs compliment each other. But, the main focus or idea is different for each one. BUT, they are often saying the same fundamental idea? Just using different ways and words to arrive at it. So, it's easy to get lost in a loop. A never ending loop. Ah, sounds a bit distorted, doesn't it? I can't even seem to convey it without it sounding chaotic. Which is what it seems to me right now. But then again, I'm feeling chaotic, underneath this depressed state. Which has been growing the past year, along with all my reading!
  10. I do believe I've overdosed on self-help after unconsciously doing it for the last year. I've been gradually coming to this conclusion which was just fully realized today. I haven't read fiction for what seems like eons. I visit various "enlightening" websites and forums. <spinning eyeballs> I've now started seeing a theapist. A real-life person and it seems to have a much needed re-focus. So, while I get valuable insight from various boards, I'm not solely relying on them or having them meddling my mind. Boy howdy, was I doing that. Not that it would be a problem necessarily for others. But, my busy mind was simply looping the same information over and over just using different words from different sources. Also, I'm a dual diasnosis case which had me utilizing addiction recovery ALONG with mental health boards. Busy, busy. So, if anyone feels this way, a face to face therapist can sure help with some much needed refocusing!
  11. I know, I almost feel bad talking about him in here. Because when I googled "Depression Forums" this was the first site that came up. A pretty much anonymous website support forum might be where a depressed celebrity might go. On that note.... Hi, Charlie, If you're there! - Oh, and nix that tour. Bad idea! Bad, BAD, idea.
  12. I think you're both right. Dr. Drew (in the interview I saw) said it looked like he was suffering from Acute mania brought on by all the illegal drugs he recently ingested and then came off of. He said because of the recent drug use it would be impossible to diagnose anything beyond that. At least for now. He did say either one of two things would happen, either a depressive crash or it would continue into a manic psychosis that would probably require a hospital stay. The third would be if he relpased and used again which would be utter destruction at this point. Of course, I don't know that I even like Dr. Drew. But, what he said made sense to me!
  13. Aww THANKS! I'll have to give the chat a whirl at another time. I was experiencing really bad lag in there. :-)

  14. I can't do squat when depressed. No desire what-so-ever. I had a highly dysfunctional family growing up. Very harried and moved often. Here's a thought that kinda sticks with me: My artistic talent was just a manifestation of my desire to escape. It's almost like I see it as part of the problem! It's just a side-effect from a truly awful upbringing. I'm repulsed by the thought of doing any of it right now. Isn't that sad? I know it's twisted. It's a positive attribute and can be used therapeutically. I just don't *feel* that way about it now. Although, I know sensibly that it's true.
  15. Thanks again! I'm very much looking forward to starting the meds and seeing the doctors. I'm beat! But, I'm very hopeful. It feels strangely separate from me. It's something I'm experiencing, but it's as if it's not real. Because It's not who I am, or at least not who I'm supposed to be.
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