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PorcelainDoll

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  1. Yaz and NuvaRing seemed to make my depression worse. I'm off all of it for now to try and let me hormones go back to normal. I guess this is an update on my previous post…. lol.
  2. Hello, I was reading online about, something.. I can't even remember but I came across a type of therapy called EFT. I have never heard of it, but when I searched the term it came up as emotional freedom technique and also emotionally focused therapy. Which one is it? Also, do any of you know if it would be effective in treating major depression? Or would it make a difference? Thanks in advance!
  3. Pardon my ranting but I'm so upset right now that I really see now way out. I've had the worst two years of my life and my depression was the worst in the spring of this year. I have no one to talk to, because my own mother portrays me as "the bad seed" of the family. I'm an adult, I can do and say whatever I want.. I haven't even really done anything to be considered that anyway. I somewhat recently moved home after every thing started falling out of place, and I completely regret it. I would have rather been "house poor" and go to the food bank to eat.. I now remember why I moved out in the first place. Just to add to my rant, I have to clean up for the people in my house every day and if I don't, I get attitude for it. I can understand doing the dishes once in a while or something but if I don't clean up after everyone else, the house just stays dirty and totally disgusting because of the lazy f**cks I live with. I can't stand it. I'm not sure if it's the same with most people but because I'm depressed, I have a tendency to complain about certain things. If I do, I get snapped at or told that I am a F******G B***H" by my younger brother. It's not fair. And I have had a stomach issue for a month now and last night I didn't sleep at all because it hurt and today I called the health phone number and they told me to go to the hospital. I asked my mother what she thought, and she just brushed it off and said well drink some water.. I have tried everything and when it starts affecting me so bad that I can't lie on my stomach that's an issue! I also have no way to get to the hospital because she doesn't care and won't drive me. I can hear her sometimes talk to family friends or relatives and tell them how I'm so bad and that I give her attitude. Well actually, I don't even do anything and she snaps at me all the time then I get yelled at for defending myself. She doesn't like anyone disagreeing with her and plays the guilt card and cries when I tell her to stop and by that time, I'm fuming because I didn't do anything in the first place. To add to everything else, I still am not over my ex boyfriend and he's playing head games with me and tells me he doesn't want to be with me and all that but then comes back and tells me thats he still loves me and misses me and calls me baby and such. All of this when he knows that I would love to try and work things out.. But anyway, my purpose of writing this is because I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I want to move elsewhere and start new. I honestly don't feel like I'm going to come out of this depression for a long time and it seems like no matter how hard I try, nothing ever turns out positively for me. I don't, For the record, I don't usually talk to people about it because I don't want to draw the attention to myself. But, I guess I just need someone, anyone to understand what I'm going through and not brush it off like it's nothing. My family seems to view it as a "mood" that I'm in. Well no it's not a mood and I'm very frustrated that my meds don't seem to be working, other than making me sleep and giving me weird dreams. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
  4. I feel the same way, and slowly I've developed social anxiety so if I make plans with someone or go out somewhere I get extremely nervous, no matter how well I know the people where I am going to be. It's not fair. I used to be a very social, and outgoing person. I also am unemployed and for the life of me can not find a job for some reason. I sometimes feel that there's a curse on me to never find a job. My depression doesn't help either. So I can't give you much advice but I can say that I am going through something similar and more or less know how you feel. *Hugs*
  5. I believe that I ruined my last relationship. My boyfriend at the time had gotten over his depression while we were dating, but mine was triggered. So by the end I was moving into a downward spiral and he had gotten over his issues.. sorry not issues.. depression. He has issues he doesn't even realize I think. None the less, after we broke I realized that I still loved him and I need him in my life. But well it's a long story but I don't want to talk to him right now. I still think about him every day though.
  6. Hey there. I was just thinking about you, and hope you had a beautiful day, but if not beautiful good and if not good decent—but not less than that! How some are harder than others, seemingly unpredictably—and some easier. I hope today was gentle. <3

  7. Porcelaon,

    My version of bipolar is not that common. I am manic and depressed 5-8 times every day and I have been labeled as ulradian by some. It's quite hard to deal with but i do well in spite of this.

    Don

  8. I have tried a whole lot of meds over the years, 12 of them not counting antidepressants. Lithium was the only one that did anything, and as well, was the only one that did not produce adverse reactions. I have tried without twice in the last 20 years and both times I nearly lost everything including my friends and family.

    I do not even feel it, it's very supple and very effectiv...

  9. I am currently taking 40mg a day of Amitriptyline and it's hard to tell if it's making much of a difference. It definitely helps me sleep though which is nice. I was previously taking Topamine instead of the Amytriptyline, along with 150mg of Effexor daily and I found that other than my headaches returning.. it wasn't making much of a difference. I'm wondering if anyone knows if the Amitriptyline would work better/faster is I wasn't on the Effexor?
  10. I have a few failed attempts and I still think about it every now and then. The attempts only made me physically sick, so it felt like crap. Just know that you are not the only one who is ashamed and embarrassed, but maybe we can stick together and talk to each other if need be. (I'm not sure if I'm bipolar or just depressed but I guess this is one of my moods that aren't so bad..) I hope you find a way to feel better soon.
  11. Hey, I don't like the idea of taking pills all the time myself. So I am just wondering, what kind of mental techniques and exercises do you use to help your depression? Maybe it could help me too.
  12. Hey, I don't have much advice for you as I also have back pain but maybe if I share a bit of my story on here, maybe someone will suggest a way to solve the issue. To sum things up, I have had back pain since 2008 when I was in a car accident. I am only 21 years old and before the accident, I never had back pain and very seldom had headaches, if that. In my car accident I got an acute spinal injury, messed up my hip and my sacral bone (think it broke off on the end but can't remember), I also had a concussion for like a month, as well as other issues. Since then I have developed depression, and a lot of it has to do with my back pain. I have always been pretty active and would love to join softball, or volleyball, or soccer, or some other team sport. I can't though because my physiotherapist, chiropractor, and massage therapist, whom I still see every week, has told me that I can't or shouldn't until my back is better. I can't do volleyball mainly because my knees are messed up from the accident and leaning over for more than 5 mins starts to hurt my back. Actually, the last time I leaned over for ten minutes to file, I misaligned my pelvis somehow. This is not how a person should be living! I do somewhat agree with BetterOff about having re-occuring thoughts about the pain but it's really hard to ignore when it's affecting every part of your life. I started doing hot yoga last spring but had to stop due to some issues with my headaches and now I have an issue with my muscles so I can't do it until that is fixed. Maybe you could try hot yoga? Maybe ask your wife to go with you. It's really relaxing and for me it helped in making my mood slightly better. Also, if you haven't done it before or can't do a certain position, just let the instructor know and no one will criticize you for it. I found that the heat was really nice because it helps to relax your muscles. Most places will offer a free trial pass or something similar where you can check it out for a week or two, FREE! Just letting everyone know, that I understand there are people with worse back problems and issues from car accidents, and that mine may not seem that bad.. but it's different when you actually have to live with it. Good luck to you, and let me know if you try out yoga or something else to ease your back pain!
  13. Hey, I have no idea how but suddenly I have a messaging centre! If you could please send me the password to that forum, that would be fantastic. :)

  14. Go to the messaging center. There is a box on the lower right side that says delted and a "go" button on the right. Open the drop down, select the one that allows you to receive messages. It will appear in the box. Click go and it will allow you to receive messages. When you've done that, send me a message requesting the Bereavement password.

  15. Hey, I am having an issue with my messages. I checked the help files and it said to click my name at the top of the page, and then messages. However, when I click my name there is no messages link, so I am confused. Do you know how else I could access it?

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