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About user1492

  • Birthday November 8

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  1. Up, down, happy, sad - totally messed up. It's been just over two weeks since I was told my ex has passed away. Separated for just over three years, haven't spoken with her at all in that time - divorce was getting ugly as they just kept asking for more spousal support. I thought I had cried all I could after the Separation, but now that she is gone the grief is overwhelming.
  2. Red Green is funnier, in my opinion at least!
  3. I'm doing much better, sleeping at night like I am supposed to, awake during the day except for a few nice guilt free naps. Still no isolated though.... Still alone .. Maybe it's all the dating site ads that keep me coming back... Maybe it's that question 'what now?'
  4. Laying here listening to the heavy rain, it's incredibly heavy! Managed to buy the lumber I need for the next repair on this place, now I just need to find the energy and motivation! I hope everyone is doing well this weekend!
  5. Yesterday I helped load, unload and split four truck loads of firewood, got all my housework done...followed by a good night's sleep. Freaked out because the dread and fear and anxiety feel far away....
  6. I'm a good actor, I know what is expected of me and that's how I act....I also need the structure/routine....keeping a mask on can be exauhsting though, but I manage
  7. Woke up early, feeling ready to get going...when I started to move, I couldn't. Just could not work up the motivation to move. So now I am stressing about how much more work I'll have to do tomorrow to get back on track. Questioning if it's even worth the effort
  8. Feeling decent.... Still procrastinating about a few big steps, but I'll get to them tomorrow....maybe For now I need a nap!
  9. It's a get stuff done day.... Already cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom... Pretty sure my neighbours are listening to John Lee Hooker....so far they haven't asked me to turn it down
  10. Doctor's appointments are so bizarre now.... All done over the phone Doubled the dosage of effexor....lets see how this works....
  11. Today is a really bad day I really wish I hadn't gotten out of bed, made it through the work day, now i'm laying in bed again and it sucks.
  12. I hate it when I am like that They made me take a week off - infortunately the lack of routine really messed with my head...I think i do need to take a LOT more time away from work, right now I have enough saved up to retire and live comfortably for about a week....
  13. 100% they are an addiction!! Unlike 'normal' people they manipulate you to experience the limits of your emotions....both good and bad. And like an addiction, that craving pops up from time to time
  14. I am fighting an urge to call my ex. Over two years no-contact... She is a full on narcisist:(
  15. I am the cause of most of my stress....back myself into catch-22's and then work myself up trying to figure out the best way out
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