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About user1492

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  • Birthday November 8

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  1. I was doing great... I had to break the no contact rule with my ex...ive filed for divorce and have to serve the papers on her, so i have to figure out where she is. Just having to deal with the lies and bs has brought me down - big time crash for me. Maybe another hour of sleep and ill be OK
  2. Having a tough day... I feel great in some ways, but i am fighting a really strong urge to inblock my ex, part curiosity, loneliness...and loss. Its leaving me at a really high anxiety level...cold sweats:(
  3. Prove it! I see your post therefore you do exist. But I do understand the sentiment, and can assure you its a lie your brain is telling.
  4. Same here, and the Paxil withdrawl made it worse!
  5. Youre making me all nostalgic for the first time i quit Paxil:) I really messed that one up...the only thing that helped the brain zaps, floaty brain and sponge brain was drinking - and i mean DRINKING! I do NOT recomend it as a solution...when i succesfully stopped i went high dose/low dose.till the low dose days were fine...then a week at the low dose and repeat stepping down a few times till it was every a dose every sevond day...then every third day...then as many days as I could...then nothing
  6. Its an addiction, you'll never be free until you can go no-contact. With a daughter living with her thats impossible i know 😞 I would be worried about your daughter...my kids suffered way too much abuse - now they are all no contact with her as well, and a huge support for me! The other problem is that little ' thou shalt not ****' rule... (last line is a joke, please dont **** people)
  7. I am so sad to hear this Sober... As i said my experience was the Dr's here in Canada try to use the minimum level of intervention, work really hard to make sure you as a patient know what, and why before anything is done. I think you hit the nail on the head - cash cow, kick backs from big pharma...sad really Maybe you need to make a run for the border!
  8. My experience with big pharma has been very different, possibly because im north of the 49th parallel, but all my drs have tried one at a time, wait and see what it does then move forward. Im on effexor now, well for seven years now and I am certain its kept me alive...ill get off it soon...I hope. I was forwarned before starting my first anti-depressant in the late '90's, getting off this stuff is just a little harder than stopping heroin! As for today, i took a nice nap and for the first time in months didnt feel guilty doing it. The panic attacks have taken a nice break from their visits...in fact for a moment I could remember what relaxed felt like.
  9. Side effect of actually getting some sleep... I had a really clear dream last night... My ex, the narc, was in the house giving me the silent treatment of course, she would just stand in front of me staring at me...blocking me from moving forward. Trying to move forward...
  10. Thanks Sober! My kids are my rock now! They are the ones telling me to forgive myself for letting them down, pointing out how much I was a victim right there with them. The panic is totally 100% caused by her...its random memories both good and bad, stray thoughts about her or like yesterday a sudden certainty she was close by... End result was another crappy nights sleep, but ill keep pushing through!!
  11. Can someone please explain why the anxiety and panic has to wait, right when I feel like I am going to be OK...wham another attack! Its been months since ive had any contact with the abusive narcisistic ex...ive talked endlessly with my kids...then suddenly it's like they are right behind me, absolute panic! Out of no where! Why?
  12. From Thunder Bay you're only 47 hours driving to where i am 🙂
  13. All familiar territory:( I am about as far away from you as the continent allows...Northern British Columbia - 45 minutes from the Alaskan border, the pan handle bit!
  14. Pretty much always Solid....although sometimes I feel like liquid, and occasionally wish I was in a gaseous state so I could get out of here. 😉 In geographic terms, I live in a Province!
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