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Tribe416

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  1. The words above were what she texted me. The bold ones were the one that I am trying to highlight. Thanks for your input.I really felt betrayed especially when I'm just starting out in the religion. I don't expect her to tell my problems to others within the same cell group, even if she has the best intentions of me in mind. I don't know what she or they meant by they realize I have many inner issues inside me. I just will never tell others that they have many inner issues especially when they are not me.
  2. Being educated in a catholic school in an asian country, I'm not a Christian/Catholic. After a recent breakup thats quite tormenting and affecting my studies/work, I went to church together with my university friend who also just recently broke up and started to accept Christ. He has helped me move on slightly and I no longer get so affected over my ex. which by itself was a relationship that affected me negatively. It must have been my mistake to share my personal problems to her. I just joined the church for a week and I had only met the cell group members once. Yet, she told me yesterday they think I have many inner issues inside me. I got so worked up I just deleted her from my contacts.We're all from this fancy mega church and its not my home church yet. I mean, just because I have some relationship problems does not mean I'm broken and they want to fix me. I know maybe she has some good intentions but the way she phrased it makes me sound like I need to be fixed. Maybe I'm too insensitive but would like to hear perspectives from others. This is the message she sent me: "One mistake I realize is I was too preoccupied in wanting to "help" you that I've forgotten that I'm nothing but human. I can't possibly do anything unless I seek God. I took you as a client instead of a friend" It made me feel disappointed. I treat her as a friend and she treated me as a client, one who needs to be fixed. Will you guys feel disappointed if your friends treat u like this? "I don't know if you mind my sharing to other members but I've already shared to them. Like how God is a God with no condemnation, we are not gossiping neither judging you but all of us sincerely just wanna unite together in prayers and why these girls because of their strong belief and faith in Jesus, and i guess also because each of us realize some inner issues thats within you but we can't put the words and terms to it but we're commiting you to the Lord, entrusting that even now as you're sleeping, Hes making His way into you, He's working His way into you" The words that I've highlighted - Each of us realize some inner issues thats within you. I wonder how they would treat people with depression/schizoprenia or other mental issues if all I ever revealed to them is my relationship problems and some form of anxiety. Please correct me if they are correct and I'm the one overreacting.
  3. I last posted a thread about my ex boyfriend and I thank everyone who has offered me your viewpoints. What happened recently was really heartbreaking for me and I find myself coming to this forum as i do not know what to do. It has affected me in ways I could not fathom because he was a jerk. And yet a jerk can have such effect on me. No matter how much I try to pray, I can't get out of this How is it possible that he can dump me and the next day, attend a singles event? Throughout the 3 months we were together, he had never once gave me any gift or flowers. But yesterday event came with free roses for the guys to hand out to the girls and he actually brought the rose to another girl and get her number. I witnessed it all as I also registered for the event to see for myself what kind of person he is. I also saw how he talked to many girls there. Now, I am filled with a myriad of emotions. Yes, he dumped me and I should have moved on. But I am filled with this rage and anguish which has been affecting me badly. Any idea what to do? I can't understand myself. My professional job is to help others yet I'm such a failure at this. I just really detest myself right now - that I actually want a jerk back. Can anyone explain to me and hopefully give me a good wake up call? I try to forget him but I just can't,
  4. I feel anxious. Just started my new job last week.Monday blues. I have anxiety dealing with new colleagues and stuff.
  5. When I was 19, I struggled like you. I had a rough childhood so it impacted me throughout my adolescence. Even up till now, I still have a really small circle of friends. Most of whom I don't actually communicate regularly. What i feel is that people are just the same. We want to be liked and we want to feel belonged. I've always felt excluded for the longest time in my life. But I'm an introvert and enjoy my own company, just that sometimes it gets overbearing. I have a group of friends who have social anxiety(I'm not sure if you have that) and I understand how they feel. You're still young.Believe that you're someone whom people will see you for who you are and enjoy your company as it is.
  6. Hi ElectricBlonde, I understand how you feel. Except I haven't worked for 10 years in a job as I just graduated. I feel you are strong to stay on for so long. I don't have the perseverance and I usually leave the job if I don't like it. I got abused verbally and backstabbed within the short span of time. It is disheartening how cruel people can be. Anyway, I'm starting a new job soon and fraught with anxiety and fear of being outcasted, friendless and all the endless possibilities but I constantly remind myself that there's a workplace which will work for me. It's important to leave a toxic environment and start anew. We will listen to you here even if your mother or others do not care for it. Continue to update us.
  7. Hi people. I'm posting this to get some input from all of you because I can't understand myself sometimes. Currently, I'm dating and what I do notice is the two guys whom I've gone on a date with and one was an ex(because I just broke up with him) were calculative about the bill. I mean, if they claim that they are really interested in me, what is wrong with just helping me pay an additional dollar? I am not going into gender roles here and to make my point clear, I always go on dutch and pay for my share despite them earning three times more than me. And they claimed that they are interested in me, so I don't see why they had to make a fuss about just a dollar. So what happened yesterday was that I went out with my now-ex and we went to macdonalds. I told him I don't have coins with me so I told him to pay for me first. He gave a look and later on demanded that I returned him back the dollar. This, after he told me he was genuinely interested in me and really like me. It's just a dollar so I don't see why he has to be so calculative. So far, we've been on dates and I always paid for my own share. I don't expect him to pay for my share either. It just doesn't make sense that there he was, claiming he was so into me yet could not make the effort to show abit of chivalry on his part. So I broke up with him. I grow up in a family where my dad is a low-wage earner yet he always gives generously so maybe I am programmed to be inclined to guys who are more generous. It doesn't have to be like a mega treat to a high class restaurant. I don't fancy that either as I'm not materialistic. I am just disappointed how he and another guy I was dating can get so stingy when they are apparently chasing me. Any input from you guys will be appreciated.
  8. Thanks guys for all your input. Just an update. I finally realize what the problem lies and I wonder why I didn't realize it. I was saying that we only met weekly or so and it was only that I found out it was the way he is. He is just naturally a boring person. He didn't have much friends either. And I realize it's different from what I expect. I don't want to change him as this is the way he is. He is just naturally confined to the home and while I am introverted as well, I do enjoy socializing and I like communicating. I have told him I would like to become friends instead and he replied that he want to remain in a relationship though his actions conflicted with what he said. I am thinking could he be just the passive type in a relationship. Any thoughts will be appreciated
  9. Thanks PoeticProse. I spent my week doing nothing most of the time. I used to enjoy sketching and have some hobbies but lately, I feel disinterested in everything. I have an interview tomorrow and i really hope to get the job. I would rather work so as not to think and get lashed out at home.
  10. Thanks poeticprose. I spent my whole day sleeping today. I haven't spoken about my concerns to him as we just got together a few weeks ago. We aren't at that stage yet. I am actually taking my time to find a job where it is related to what I am studying. But the problem is my grandpa is very negative and toxic. He said things to deliberately put me down. Yes I don't wish to stay at home anymore
  11. Hey troysdad. I can see you really love her alot. Based on your summary, I feel that she needs some time alone. I used to suffer from depression and I would push my exes away if I want some time alone. I would always say break up without thinking as I only feel the depressed feeling at that point of time and nothing else matters. Since you just had your engagement party, it means the two of you were really close to each other and it would be a pity if you just break up with her like this. Give her some time to calm down and calm her emotions. Its been a week. She probably needs some time alone
  12. That's so awesome! Do you already have tattoos?^^
  13. I have been a member since 2010, stopped medication since last year without my doctor's consent as I just stopped seeing her completely. I enjoy posting on this forum. Some of you listen and respond to what I say. Let me just briefly share my situation. I'm gonna work as a helping professional after I graduate sometime late next year. I am doing a part-time degree so I work full-time. So I just quitted my job to find a relevant job as my degree so I will have relevant experience. As to the reason why I quit before finding a new job, I will have to serve a 2 month notice for the job so I rather quit and focus on finding a job. No big deal anyway as I don't like the job. So for past few 1 week, I have been feeling very down. I attended many interviews but no job offers. Secondly, I am in a new relationship. My boyfriend is kind of successful.. if you get what I mean. I was thinking will he mind that I am jobless and out right now? Any feedback from u guys here? I am also starting to ruminate and think about "what if" . what if I can't get a job and I will have to settle for the same job scope as my previous job which doesn't make sense because that's the very reason I leave. I feel like just going for a short holiday.. to anywhere, to clear my mind. Staying at home is only going to make me more anxious because I have a very negative grandfather who puts me down all the time.
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