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sixtimes

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  1. Yes, I actually am on Zoloft and it has helped take the edge off the depression and anxiety. There are still some major problems that I need help with that are significantly hindering my recovery. On one hand, I know that I can't fix them on my own, while, on the other hand, therapy makes me sad. It's stupid, but it hurts me when the therapist says "ok, our time for today is up." It feels so impersonal, like "ok, I listened to you, but your time to talk is done." Then, after the therapist's stops me and I feel like s**t, I have to hand over $75 of my family's money. What's worse is when right after telling me the time has passed, the therapist will say "do you have the co-pay?" It reaffirms to me how it is all about the money. I am yearning for help and spilling my guts while the therapist is sitting there listening and throwing in some opinions here and there. I have been to 5 different therapists. Four were like this and the 5th actually gave me extra time, but she never let me talk. I mean EVER. Maximum I would get 5 minutes and the rest of the time she talked about herself and her own problems.
  2. What online CBT therapy have you been using? I have had the same experiences with talk therapy and even CBT therapy that somehow became talk therapy/
  3. I have been to several therapists and one of the problems I have is my inability to trust them. I have been going to therapy for 5 years now. I constantly feel they are just there to hear me out and collect their money. They are not interested in me getting better and I find it hard to believe that they want me to get better since then they will be out of a client. This may sound stupid, but it hurts me every time we are at the end of session and the therapist will say "we are done for today, see you next week." This always happens right when I am in the middle of saying something important or on the brink of making some kind of breakthrough. Hearing them say that just reminds me that it's a business for them, a way to collect a paycheck, especially when I see them looking at the clock throughout the whole session. I am a student and my family is paying for my therapy. They have had to make sacrifices to pay for it and I feel so stressed about going when all I feel that happens is we sit and talk. Then the session ends and I feel no progress has been made. Even with therapy, my problems have gotten worse over the last 5 years. Not one thing has even marginally improved. I need help, though. I have so many problems that I need to work out, but going to therapy increases my anxiety tenfold since I feel I am giving away my family's money to someone who can't possible care because it's a job AND I am experiencing no improvements. Any suggestions?
  4. I have anxiety and depression. I want to learn how to manage my anxiety and get out of this rut that I am in. It's just that the appointments are 40 minutes long and the time seems to fly by. I only seem to start talking about my problem and the session is over. It's been 7 sessions already and he has me constantly listing what makes me anxious and bring it to the session. I don't seem to feel any different or experience less depression or anxiety. I don't know what I should do and what I should be putting into therapy. I guess my question is whether to stick around longer or if it's time to leave. I don't know how to determine if I am getting better or if I need to switch again. No, I've already used up the max number of appointments I can have through insurance for this year. Thanks to everyone who has replied. Now, all i need to figure out is whether I want to leave and should raise this question with my therapist or if I should stay.
  5. How binding are therapy contracts? When I started therapy with my new therapist, he had me sign this contract during the first session. It had basic stuff on it, like "I will try my best to work on my problems" and "I will be open and honest with my therapist." It also had two points on it: "I will give more than 24 hour-notice or be liable for the session" and "I must tell my therapist 5-6 sessions before I plan to end therapy." I felt like I had no choice but to sign it because it was the first 10 minutes of my first session and I heard he is very good and can help me. My problem now is that I don't feel like my therapist is making an effort to help me in as quick of a manner as I wish. We have been doing the same thing for 3 sessions already. I am also a little strapped for cash and can't spend money on therapy that is not working. My question is if whether I am legally bound by this contract? Do I really have to attend 5-6 more sessions (at $120 a session) of therapy that is not working? Anybody had any similar experience with therapy contracts?
  6. Thank you everyone for all of your advice! I'm sorry I couldn't let you all know how it went earlier. I went to three more sessions with her before I left. The last session was really what helped me with my decision. In the 50 minute session, I only got to talk for 5 minutes total. She spent the time telling me these 10-15 minute each stories about things that she has done in her life that were triggered by the one or two words I got out of my mouth before I was interrupted (ie. stress about school, being afraid to try new things, feeling tired...) That was then I really decided that it was never going to work. I wish it didn't take over a month for me to figure this out, but I'm glad I got out when I did.
  7. I started seeing a new therapist two weeks ago. So far I've been to two sessions and I'm pretty frustrated. She's really, really nice and I feel like she's pretty competent and could help me. My problem is that she talks too much. I was trying to explain to her about my history and how I reached this point, but she kept cutting me off and asking really irrelevant questions. She also veers off into her own stories. For example, I started to tell her how I cannot drive to the appointments because of my phobia and how my cousin drives me and she interrupted and began asking questions like my cousin's name and occupation. Then she told me a little story about how she has one client (no names mentioned) who has a similar problem, but his is that he can't drive outside the bounds of the state. Another time, she veered into a story about how she could only study in a certain section of the library when she was a student when I began to say that I have these concentration problems with extreme head pain. Every time she got off-track, I kept trying to focus her back on what I felt I needed to tell her so she could help me appropriately. The problem is that it's been 2 sessions already and I still haven't managed to tell her some very important things from my history or how I feel right now, like the fact that for a year of my life I suffered from, what I believe was, mania and every other night I would stay up writing these disturbing pieces that I couldn't remember writing in the morning. I also had a period where I clawed at my headboard in my sleep because of something I was going through. There was also a time of constant panic attacks and lost 20 pounds. Now, I have constant phobias and anxiety that complicate my life, which she only let me briefly mention before she got sidetracked. I can't seem to get her to listen to any of these important things because she's always detracting me with questions or stories of her own She's a really great person and I know she practices a lot of alternative techniques, which could really help me. She seems really willing to help and kept throwing out different ideas at me. The problem is how to get her to hear me out. It's so frustrating to spend 45 minutes constantly trying to guide the conversation back to what you need to say because without hearing it, there's no way she can help.
  8. I'm not sure if these are panic attacks. I don't really experience any additional symptoms other than those feelings of being disoriented or overwhelmed. I don't feel like the situations are any more or less stressful than any other situation in my life. I just constantly experience the anxiety from my GAD, but it doesn't increase when I'm in class or talking to someone.
  9. I feel like I'm experiencing the weirdest symptoms in my every day life. I'm a student and every time I sit down to read, after 10 minutes, I am completely disoriented. I can't remember what I have just read and my head is spinning. I get this aching in my head and dizziness. I feel like I just can't take in any more information and can't focus at all. I have to take about an hour to just doodle on a paper before I feel like my brain is ready to function again, although the ache doesn't go away (just dulls down). Same thing happens after my classes or a test. After spending an 1 1/2 in a class in a class, I walk out and feel like I can barely understand what is going on. It's hard for me to get my head together to even safely cross a street (like it's such a task for me to concentrate and comprehend whether or not it is safe to cross). I also get emotionally vulnerable like random things will make me want to burst out into tears or vomit. I rarely actually vomit, but I always feel on the brink of it. Same thing after an exam. I just have to go somewhere where there is no sound AT ALL because my head is just buzzing and it hurts. It's only a good night's sleep that I feel better. It seems like everything just overwhelms me, even in small amounts. Even after talking to someone, their voice will echo in my head for a while and I feel like I've taken in so much information because of what they said (even if the conversation was only 5 minutes.) I have constant anxiety because of my generalized anxiety disorder, but I do not feel an increase of anxiety when I'm reading or in class or talking to someone. Does it sound like all this could be from my anxiety or does it seem like something else may be going on?
  10. I have this perpetual fear that whenever I reject a guy, I am letting something that might be good slip away. I have never had a boyfriend or even kissed a guy and I'm 26. I have an anxiety disorder and depression. I have been meeting guys at random places (uni, extracurriculars, etc..) and some have shown interest in me. I always panic when I see guy is interested in me because I'm scared. My anxiety shoots through the roof and my gut reaction is to run away. When a guy wants to meet with me again, I do whatever I can to push him away so I don't have to experience that anxiety anymore. I get all worked up because I feel like I can't evaluate whether I like the guy or not because my head is so cluttered due to anxiety and depression. I also get worried about all the awkwardness that would go on on a date and then what if he tried to kiss me? Do I really want this guy to be my first kiss? I'm afraid I'll regret it. Then what if things are good for a little and then we have a fight? or break-up? With everything going on in my life, I don't want to put myself in the position that could cause more pain. It's just that I'm unemployed, going to school part-time to try and get a college diploma, I am scared of driving.... I have so many issues I'm trying to deal with and I feel like I can't accurately figure out whether I like a guy (or am just desperate) and if I should even be in a relationship until I get my life together. PLUS, I have all these fears and insecurities. I have been pushing guys away for over 10 years now, always afraid, but now that I'm "older" I'm scared that maybe one of these guys I'm pushing away may turn out to be my ideal guy, Mr. Right, if I gave him a chance. What if one of the guys I push away is really the person that will make me happy for the rest of my life and is the person I'm meant to be with? I don't know what to do!
  11. Last week, I went to see my therapist as usual. My cousin drove because one of things I suffer from is a phobia of driving and she is like a sister to me so she does this for me. Since she is such a big part of my life, I have talked about our relationship with my therapist several times and how close we are. Last week, my therapist asked that at the end of the session I call my cousin in so the three of us can talk about how I'm doing so far and how my cousin can help. I found it rather strange, but I had nothing to hide from my cousin so 10 minutes to the end of therapy, I went and got her. My therapist explained all we have discussed over two years in therapy and talked some with my cousin. My cousin tried not to ask too much because she knew there was only 10 minutes, but my therapist kept engaging her and me so to make a long story short, it took 40 extra minutes. When I left, I saw how much over the time we went and thought about how nice it was of my therapist to devote extra time to me and to speak with someone who is so important to me. BUT, today I checked my insurance bill and saw that my therapist billed me for TWO APPOINTMENTS that day! I feel so hurt and angry! I didn't ask for my cousin to be brought in and I didn't ask that we extend my appointment. I had NO IDEA that he would do this and now I feel like after two years of therapy I can no longer trust him!
  12. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  13. Hi, I'm new here and looking for some advice. I have been going to therapy for two years now and feel like I have gotten worse and worse over the time that I have been in therapy. I have suffered from anxiety and depression (on a minor scale)for most of my life, but it never really interfered with my life. It exploded and I decided to see a therapist after I suffered a traumatic event. I came to therapy to learn to cope with the traumatic event and move on. My therapist, however, began bringing up things that I never really thought about or saw as a problem. He began discussing with me why I don't have friends, or prefer to spend my weekends at home reading or why I don't want to a partner, etc... Over time, I feel like this really hit me and I became obsessed with all that is not right with my life. While before I used to be content with life, aside from dealing with the trauma, now I worry and am depressed about it 24/7. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't eat. My whole day is consumed with worrying about how I have to make changes to my life. My question is: Is this normal of therapy? Am I supposed to be feeling so much worse? Does it get worse before it gets better? ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED!
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