Jump to content


Just Registered
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  1. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  2. I am a 23 year old married women. Mom of a 2 year old baby girl. I am at a lost. I have so much that's wrong with me, that I don't know where to even start.. I've been married to my husband for now almost 5 years. I married young. When my daughter came along (not a planned pregnancy) I was shocked. I found out I was pregnant in the emergency room where I ended up after a car accident. That's when my motherly nature kicked in I guess.. I was just glad my unborn child wasn't hurt. I was thankful. When I started having cravings and bad morning sickness, I then realized this was all reality. I've had thoughts about ******* myself when my husband was at work. I've had very disturbing thoughts about how I would end my life. Every time I am a second close to hurting myself, the image of a unborn child in my stomach just kept interrupting me. I've had tough pregnancy without any emotional support. I had trouble calling my unborn child my baby. I've always referred as the unborn child.. which is oddly wrong supposedly.. .. oh I failed to mention my family members reaction when they found out I was pregnant. Although, I was married and settled with a wonderful man, it was stil my priority to finish college and obtain some sort of degree. My mom (single, bitter, crazy) had told me to get an abortion. She said a child would will ruin my life. Ever since then, I've had distanced myself from my mother. I've always known she was a bad person, but that incident had clearly told me, that she has been nothing, seriously nothing but negativity in my life. So I ditched her bye bye and started concentrating my life as myself. My daughter finally came in to my real world. She was born after a long painful 25 hour labor. I've put all my troubles behind and got busy being sleep deprived and eating. I've packed on good amount of weight since then. Which I am still not able to loose.. I want to say.. it was around when my daughter was 18 months or so.. I've started having another set of disturbing thoughts.. I was so scared that my daughter would get hurt.. I was scared of her being kidnapped when I am asleep. I've had far more disturbing thoughts but I would never dare to share that with anybody,.. another dreadful few months passes without any notice.. I've had a suicide attempt when my daughter was asleep in her room. I've reached out for desperate help and a friend of mine came to stop me. My husband was aware of all this. But he thinks I am crazy and I choose to be this way. Lately, I've been so easily irritated. Seeing piled up dishes makes me so mad. everytime I see the house messy, I hear my husband saying " this is your job, and my job is to work and make money".. which he has said in the past when we were arguing. I pack his lunch everyday and the fact that it's "my job" to do so.. makes me feel so useless. I want to throw a plate across the kitchen. I want to just seriously yell out " **** you **** you" to whom ever passes by. I am just so angry at my life and don't want to feel this way anymore... I just needed somewhere to vent all this.. thanks for reading and any advice will be greatly appreciated..
  • Create New...