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AnxietyGirl74

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About AnxietyGirl74

  • Rank
    Junior Member

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Coast of NC
  • Interests
    Church, football, college baseball, family, my friends, my dogs, Hulu, Netflix, HBO Now
  1. Depression is the enemy of God

    Decided to delete post; what I put may not have been appropriate.
  2. God's Love

    Music, devotionals (right now I am doing a Bible study on Esther through a gastropareis Bible study group and Anxiety for Nothing Bible Study on moments I feel up to it), the fact that he gives me a therapist and medication as tools to help me with the issues that I deal with, and the fact that he sometimes has the Bible Study on exactly what I need at the moment I need to hear it.
  3. Holiday's Can Be A Stressful Time..

    The holidays have always been a very stressful time for me, but this year they are even worse than usual. I've always been bad October-December, and this time I am living at home, my insurance is about to change which means all new doctors, which I don't want. I'm in the middle of the whole applying for disability thing where I have a lawyer, but I am still waiting on a date, and I have gastroparesis, which is severe, where right now I can't eat any food, so I am having to live on nutritional drinks as a source of food. Even the thought of food makes me sick. I mean, I try to be around people when they are eating if I can help it so I can still socialize unless it gets so bad that I can't even smell food without getting sick. So I am extremely stressed at the moment. And somehow I don't think it will change until after Christmas, when all the eating part is over. :(
  4. Well, I met this guy online. He seemed really nice. He was Christian, God was really important to him. We clicked on that immediately. He didn't mind that I had gastroparesis and that it was really bad right now where I can't eat at all. Then, he started telling me all these problems his family had and how he didn't have touch with any of them and only recently found out which sister had his mom and where his mom was. After he told me all of this and how dysfunctional his family was, I thought, well, he's told me all this, I can trust to tell about my mental problems. So I did. And I never heard back from him again. I'm not saying we would even click in real life, but it kind of hurts a lot that after I open up about my mental problems and I wasn't turned off and was understanding and cared and offered positive words and prayer for him about his family, and he was just done when he found out about mental problems. It makes me feel like I have to hide it from other guys now and I feel like if I date a guy seriously I will still have to hide all my meds for mental health from him or else he's going to get rid of me, too. I hate this stupid stigma. May trigger....I don't think so, but just in case..... My grandmother had a nervous breakdown when my mom was 12. She never got help for it and was really off the rest of her life. She heard music that wasn't playing, would fuss at my sister and I for playing it, slept all the time because she went to several different doctors and didn't tell them about all the other sleep meds she was taking so she was taking way too many and almost OD'd on them when I was in 10th grade, my maternal uncle committed suicide, my paternal cousin committed suicide, and I've had to be in a psychiatric hospital twice, once for a nervous breakdown, which had always been my fear since I had learned about her having one when I accidentally found out when I was 12 from a relative who thought I knew. So what am I supposed to do. Just not get help and pretend I don't have it. I already learned from my family how that ends up. All of these people all that happened to didn't get help. You would think we would be at a point after seeing what's happened to all those who didn't get help and seeing all the celebrities that have suffered mental health problems that we would be further along than this.
  5. Is prozac good for Severe Anxiety/Health Anxiety/

    Hi. I'm on prozac for the second time (it pooped out on me after the first time after a while), and it has really helped me. I have OCD, anxiety, major depression, mood disorder, and stress. I would definitely try it. I'm on 80 mg but was slowly upped over time. Usually, with OCD you have to take the higher dosages. I used to have it so bad when I was in a doctor's office I would be afraid that the needles in those little red boxes they store them in would somehow get loose and stab me and I would some sort of disease. I would definitely tell your p-doc about the prozac. They need to know all the meds you are on, but especially the psych meds you're on. Otherwise they may prescribe you another one that may clash with it. Good luck with it. I have found it a godsend.
  6. Going back on :(

    I would definitely let your psychiatrist know. They can't help you if they don't and they are there to help you. I personally haven't done that because I remember what bad shape I was on without psych meds and it was miserable. But a lot of people do, so they are not going to be shocked. If it makes you feel better, I have gone off of prozac before, although it was because it gave out on me so I got put on something else. But I'm back on it now and haven't had any problems. I also am on some other meds to help with it but I had help before as well. Always be honest with your psychiatrist, though. It may be hard, but they need to know. And I doubt there have been many circumstances that they haven't dealt with.
  7. hello i m new here and have a problem

    Everyone is different but for me, Prozac and Seroquel or Prozac and Risperidal have helped me. I believe Prozac and Ability did but I may have been on Paxil at that time. Some drugs that are supposed to be good for OCD, but I'm not saying they will work for you, your psychiatrist has far better knowledge than I do, are supposed to be Luvox CR, which really helped me, Paxil, or Zoloft. I agree with the poster who also mentioned therapy. The whole time I have been on meds, I have always been in therapy. The meds are a tool, not a total solution.
  8. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. My psychiatrist appointment was a disaster so I don't think I will see her again in January. I will take my chances with the new psychiatrist prescribing new medicine. She was really mean. I was telling her about the breakthrough anxiety I was having and she was like, "That's why you need to be on Klonopin and not the Xanax XR. It lasts longer." I had already explained why I asked to switch. I had had a prescription for Klonpin 2-3 times a day as needed but I was so afraid of getting addicted and abusing it I would go back and forth as to when I needed it and it was very stressful. With the Xanax XR, it just says take it twice a day and I don't have to stress about when to take it. I asked about adding something for the breakthrough anxiety that wasn't a controlled substance and then she said I couldn't take two controlled substances, like annoyed, which pretty much told me she wasn't listening to what I said and should've told me how to visit was going to go since this was near the front of it. I again said I wasn't asking for a controlled substance. She said she didn't want to add anymore meds. The breakthrough anxiety is so bad, though, I can't stand it. I asked her about buspar and she said she could do that. I asked her about doing it as needed and she couldn't do that. So then I asked about seroquel. I absolutely hate seroquel but there's no denying anytime I have been on it, it has helped me. So she prescribed the 25 mg of seroquel to take either 1/2 pill to 1 pill a day. She told me she wrote all of them for refills for a month so I wouldn't have to come back and that she was booked through December except for two days and that if I wanted one of those two days I would need to book it up front or the next day. Usually, she has me book it in her office. Then, she usually gives me wellbutrin 300 xl samples when I go but this time she just wrote a prescription for it. i told her that I was just a mess and she agreed. Usually she's very comforting when I am so upset and leave but this time I felt almost like she was a manufacturer like, "Well, you're gone, next up." I'm hoping the next one is nicer. Guess I know what she always thought of me. Thank you so much for your kind message.
  9. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I'm so sorry your grandmother got mad at you. It's easy for stress to take over, especially when it comes to the holidays; they don't exactly help with stress. Hope it's going a little better. My psychiatrist visit didn't go so well. I think she was glad to get rid of me. I told her about the breakthrough anxiety and she basically was like, "This is why you need to be on Klonopin instead of Xanax XR; it lasts longer." But my problem with Klonopin was I stressed so much about was I taking it too much or what because it was 2-3 times a day as needed. I drove myself crazy wondering if I needed it because I didn't want to abuse it and get addicted. She was very reluctant to give me anything in between and even after I'd said I didn't want a controlled substance she told me she couldn't prescribe a controlled substance on top of the controlled substance I already was taking and she didn't want to prescribe anything else. But the breakthrough anxiety was so bad. I asked if it was okay to add buspar and she said she could do that. I asked about as needed, and she said it didn't come ask needed. So I asked about seroquel as needed because I'd done that before. I hate seroquel, but I definitely needed something for breakthrough anxiety. So she did for seroquel 25 mg as needed once a day. Then she proceeded to give me refills on everything and tell me that she was booked in December except for two days so if I wanted anything on those two days I needed to go to the front and have them fit me in and I would have to do it today or tomorrow. And she normally writes the meetings for me herself and gives me wellbutrin xl 300 samples but she wrote a prescription for it this time instead of giving me samples.I really felt like she wanted to get rid of me. It kind of really hurt. I was all messed up and she even agreed I was all messed up. She didn't try and make me feel better when I left like usual when I'm really upset going out or anything. I have an appointment with the new psychiatrist in January and was thinking I might go to her that month, too, in case the new psychiatrist didn't feel comfortable writing prescriptions for me yet after meeting me the first time. But now I don't think I will. I don't think she likes me after that last visit. I'm glad you felt pretty good that day, except for the stress. The stress is horrible, especially this time of year. It plays with our heads really bad.
  10. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I have to start seeing a new psychiatrist in January for insurance reasons. I am so nervous about this because I’ve been seeing my current one for the past 9 years. Same situation with all my other doctors. Right now I am waiting to see my psychiatrist and I am having major anxiety- has been pretty much constant for probably 3weeks now despite veing on anti depressant, anti psychotic, and anti anxiety med. Think i may have to explore non-controlled substance help for breakthrough anxiety.Also seeing therapist later today. Right now I’m just a mess. Always rough this time of year, but the insurance change has taken it to a whole new level.
  11. Dose keeps on increasing

    Hi. I'm on Prozac and I'm on 80 mgs. I wouldn't worry about it. If it's working for you some, it's a good thing. I have OCD in addition to major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, some kind of mood disorder, and stress. I'm on a couple of other meds in addition to it, but it's done wonders for me. When you look at the suicides, there are some that may be related to the drugs, but I would also look at the fact that people go on drugs because of depression among other reasons. Honestly, I have had an uncle commit suicide who didn't take anti-depressants and didn't want anyone to know he was mentally ill. I don't think that you have to let your employer know. The only employer I ever had to let know that the meds I was taking was when I worked at a prison and I'm pretty sure that was because they wanted us very alert at work and wanted to make sure we weren't sneaking meds in to the inmates. Other than that, I'm not sure your employer has a right to ask or that you are obligated to tell them. As far as future life partner, that part is up to them. Unfortunately, you can't know about them. I wouldn't tell them too early, though. I would wait until they get to know you the person and then after that let them know that you take medication for some issues that happen to deal with mental issues. Then, be completely honest about what they are. The only person that has really had a problem with me taking them, however, was my dad who is head of mission for a Southern Baptist region. But he has finally reached a point that he accepts that they are needed. He doesn't like it, but he accepts it. If someone loves you, once you tell them after they get to know you, they will understand as well. However, I look at my medicine as a tool. I also feel that I need therapy as well. I don't think at all that my mental issues are complete without that. They work hand in hand. I hope this helps.
  12. Going back on :(

    Hi. I've never gone off of antidepressants, mostly because I have so many mental issues and I remember what bad shape I was in before I got on them, but I would be honest with your psychiatrist and tell him and ask him about restarting. I think you could probably need to start slowly when you restart it so you could probably need his or her help in restarting instead of doing it on your own. I hope this helps.
  13. Hi. Thank you for your reply. Yeah, I probably will have to eventually look at jobs from home once I hopefully get disability because I heard there is a certain amount you can make outside of it so I would have to find out what amount that is. I'm just not real sure how viable of an option that is, at least in the situation I'm in right now, because I'm just so sick so much, although changing meds has helped a lot. Yeah, I agree on paxil. I took it a while back several years ago and actually didn't have any problems coming off of it surprisingly, but i think I'm a weird case. I had the same thing happen with effexor xr and from what I hear that one is supposed to be horrible to get off of as well. I went back on my Prozac yesterday and my body, other than the regular gastroparesis, feels better than when I was on the paxil for the two days. I'm finally not eating everything in sight. Ugh, talk about really aggravating gastroparesis. I usually can't even eat what a normal person can eat during a day. You can imagine what eating more than a normal person eats in a day felt like. Unfortunately, I'm not good at crafting or knitting. I used to cross stitch and tried it a few times since being out of work but couldn't even really do that, at least at the moment. I agree on the disability not being enough. Before I got in this condition, I worked in social services and dealt with a lot of people that were on disability. It was very disturbing how little they got. So I'm prepared it won't be much. I agree with you about diplomas. I think I had maybe two or three jobs that asked me to show them my college diploma. I think now they look more for people who have a trade, though. I noticed more toward the last few years, it seemed more like people just wanted to high school diploma and weren't really focusing so much on college diplomas. I love my years at University of South Carolina and would've done it again, but just because I loved the school and my college experience so much, not because I really felt like I needed it. The economy has shifted during the time I've been working and now it almost seems like a college diploma can work against you. Thank you again for replying and your helpful advice. This is all so frustrating, especially having never been through all the living back at home and applying for disability before.
  14. I'm really, really struggling.

    I'm sorry you're struggling. From my understand, the medication you're on is one of the worst for gaining wait, so it may help with that with switching to the citalopram (may not be writing that right, the generic celexa). I'm not a doctor and everyone reacts differently so I'm generalizing. I've felt somewhat of what you are saying at times. If your friends didn't want to be around you, they wouldn't call you and invite you places. Please keep that in mind, and no matter how hard it is, please don't keep asking them about it. That will probably bother them if you keep asking them about it and they have to keep reassuring you. Just know if they are reaching out to you and inviting you places, they want your company. Once you're adults, you don't have to invite people places; you make your own decisions at that time. As far as games, I don't know a lot about those, but I know my ex-husband used to play them and he would just jump in. I never heard him complaining about anyone jumping in, so I really don't think anyone is going to be bothered by you jumping into a game. Sorry, this is all I can think about right now. Sorry, if I come across a little harsh. I am trying to help and just don't want you to drive them away by asking them over and over if you are bothering them. Just know if they invite you, they want you there. You're being so hard on yourself. We are always so much harder on ourselves and see ourselves as so much worse than others see us. I'm like that all the time. I just try to hide it. I take my meds every day, and do the best I can to get through things as best I can. I wish you the best with all this. It definitely is not easy, but I have faith that you can get through this. Just know everybody has some insecurities.
  15. Gastroparesis came back in 2014, and this time much more serious. I am not in a position to work and already had depression, general anxiety, and OCD, with panic attacks without agoraphobia, even though I wasn't having many at all by that point. This disease has made things so much worse. I had a house and have a P.O. Box in NC so I have NC Insurance until the end of the year, but I had to move back in with my parents so next year I will have to get SC insurance. That means I have to change from the psychiatrist I've seen for over 5 years to one that's never seen and doesn't even know me (and since I've had this disease, I've been diagnosed with stress, which isn't surprising, and a mood disorder. My parents are approaching 70 and I'm terrified about when they die (don't get me wrong, I will definitely miss them; we are very close) how I will support myself and get through life. I'm divorced and usually feel too sick to date, except every once in a while I think maybe I tan go on a date, but it's hard because most of the time I can't eat because the disease makes me sick a lot of times when I eat solid food, and I'm not dependable because I never know when I will end up too sick to do something. I can be fine, and then it hits all of a sudden or I can wake up with it. And I'm constantly take pills, and I think, well, who's going to want that. Anyway, back to psych business-this all plays into that. I get so scared for the future. I'm on 80 mgs of Prozac, 200 mgs of Lamictal twice a day, 300 mgs of Wellbutrin XL,3 mg of Risperdal at bedtime, and 1 mg of Xanax XR twice a day. I lost it two weeks ago, and started just sobbing and screaming to my parents that there was no hope because with the SC insurance it wouldn't cover my gastroparesis motility clinic, where my doctor is one that is on the Top 100 Doctors in the US List. I thought maybe the prozac had pooped out on me and told my psychiatrist that at last visit last week. She reluctantly switched me to paxil because she thinks it's my mood disorder, mixed with losing my independence and having to move back home, uncertainty about my insurance situation next year, etc., and felt we needed to up my Lamictal to one and a half pill either in the morning or at night and one pill at the other time and if still no luck, we can up to risperdal. She was very reluctant to switch me to paxil, but did. I was supposed to lower prozac and wean off and start paxil but it would have me switching to paxil and messing with the lamictal at the same time which she had said she didn't want to do, and she had said if it felt soon enough I could wean earlier so I tried Paxil day before yesterday and today. It made me eat everything in sight, which really messed up my gastroparesis. After the same thing happened yesterday, I decided i was going to have to go back to prozac and hope that she was right about the lamictal. The good news is that the appointment I had with her next week never got canceled so I still get to see her and we can adjust the lamictal then and I can tell her about going back to the prozac. She was going to fit me in, but this is much better. I also see my therapist on that day as well. I really don't know what to do about the stress about my future, though. I'm so scared of not having the money to pay for anything and that this disease is going to take me with a slow, agonizing death. It's scary. Even if I get disability, it's not that much a month. I just missed the days when life seemed normal. have me have had