jfrombk

Hey all. First of I hope all of you guys are doing well. I am sorry to be a burden or a bother but these thoughts are insane. I have been having some really disturbing thoughts about my baby girl and they just **** me. Absolutely **** me. Idk what to do. I can't change her with out thinking a what if I did this or what if I accidentally touched her or something like that. These thoughts are so depressive. There is nothing more that I want in life but to just have a regular life without the thoughts. They have also spread to other family members occasionally but definitely mostly my baby. I used to have the same type of thought patterns about my relationship for years as well. It seems like the thoughts target what I love the most. Has this ever happen to anyone? Am I a bad person

well, whether you realized it or not, you talking here helps myself as well as others. i know you mentioned you arent an open person, but you helped out so much here just by ... being open! I get where you are coming from in a lot of your reply. It is very hard to open up and tell poeple and when it gets bad, all you want to do is get some sleep. I hope things inprove for you. ANd your post wasnt long, it was insightful

Thanks for the reply! and welcome to the thread. Unfortunately, i cant do that because that would me stopping a part of being a dad and the thoughts would just move to something else. I want to be a good dad and i know what i am cabable of, so in this case i wouldnt do that.

Wow thanks for your response!! What meds are you taking?

Thanks so much for the reply I truly appreciate it and you are absolutely right

Thanks sooooo much for your response. You don't understand how great it is to not feel insane alone. Honestly thank you. Your reply wasn't long at all. It was well thought out and honestly makes me feel better that I am not alone. It's so crazy how the thoughts make you feel like you would do those things but you wouldn't. I hate it so much. I actually was on Lexapro as well... By itself and then along with welburtion. How has your support system been? And are you thinking about different meds

Hey all! I am not sure if I have ocd or not but depression and anxiety is something I have for sure with the occasional rumination.I have it for about 4 - 5 years and I have watched the thoughts grow and cycle from different things. Now I have a daughter who is a few months and my mind is telling me awful things that I want to do harming her and I feel like . Honestly I would rather disappear then ever do anything to hurt her. Then today I was trying to check her diaper this morning because I smelled like she pooped. I pulled the pamper back towards me and saw nothing. She just passed gas and peed however, I had a bad thought that my knuckle of my finger touched her stuff, even though I know I didn't and that I would have felt it if I did. So yea, thoughts like these and others are what I have. I hate them so much. I wish I just had a normal brain. Anyone else deal with this. And I am on meds thinking about a change or upping dose

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This is great advice.. Thanks so much. It makes me feel good that I am not the only one that suffers from this

Sure that's true. I don't like having bad thoughts like that bc I never would hurt my baby

You are absolutely right. Your reply was excellent thanks very much

Attacks. But not all the time thank God

Thank you all for your replies so far

Yes. I just have to make an appointment and speak with my wife

Thanks very much. I think it would have been helpful if I had said I had anxiety for 5 years