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lonelyforeigner

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lonelyforeigner last won the day on July 24

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About lonelyforeigner

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  1. lonelyforeigner

    Health anxiety

    91% O2 saturation is in the acceptable range, it varies a lot with your breathing... It's kinda like blood pressure, the occasional spike or drop is nothing to worry about, only when it's consistently low (<90) then you might want to get checked for anemia or other problems. It would have to drop WAY lower for it to be an immediate threat... Having suffered from severe anxiety in the past I would highly recommend putting the pulse oximeter away, the more you check your vitals the more you're feeding into anxiety because every little change will give you reasons to doubt what the doctors told you. If your cardiologist isn't concerned you shouldn't be either. While we're always told we should listen to our bodies this doesn't really hold true when dealing with health anxiety, it'll have the opposite effect :( It wasn't until I learned to ignore all physical symptoms that I started to get my anxiety under control. The "what if"-thoughts still creep up on me and sometimes my body can produce really uncomfortable symptoms but ignoring them has helped me rid myself of panic attacks.
  2. lonelyforeigner

    With depression and axiety

    You can learn to manage anxiety without meds. It's not easy but doable... With depression it kinda depends on the underlying cause. If you've been depressed for a long time and it's not just the occasional episode it's obviously a lot harder. Many people do manage to get it under control with just therapy though so there is hope. If your depression is not at all circumstantial or related to your past then the underlying issue might be a chemical imbalance which like high blood pressure will require ongoing medication.
  3. lonelyforeigner

    Gender discontentment caused by depression

    Sounds like an escape fantasy indeed. At first sight being an attractive woman seems quite appealing, they can get away with M***** and it seems like everybody caters to them, guys will bend over to please them and women want to be their friends to be part of the cool crowd. Then again they have their own struggles, a lot of backstabbing by other women, being objectified by men, having people think that looks is all they have to offer, pressure to stay attractive, and often they have their own share of insecurities... Like @BeyondWeary pointed out, life always seems greener on the other side. I wish I was born in a taller body with more hair on my head I wouldn't worry about those feelings as long as they're not persistent. Occasionally wishing to be born a girl is quite a ways away from feeling like you're in the wrong body.
  4. lonelyforeigner

    Is he cheating on me?

    I don't even know what to say... What a scumbag! So sorry this is happening to you, no one deserves to be treated that way :(
  5. lonelyforeigner

    Anti-Depressants Not Working, Where To Go From Here

    Have you tried some of the older MAOI antidepressants? They're more effective than modern ADs but doctors are very reluctant to prescribe them since it is possible to overdose on them and there are some food/drug interactions that patients need to be aware of. Another thing to look into is ECT which can be quite effective for people suffering from treatment resistant depression. Depending on where you live Ketamine may be another option too...
  6. I don't think any of us here think that. It's a difficult thing to discuss though as long as you're not more stable. Even if he wanted kids sometimes down the road he may not be open to talking about it as long as the relationship is where it's at. I definitely understand where you're coming from though, it's very unfair when men just tell their ladies what they want to hear hoping that they can just wait it out or that the wish will go away. I really think you should talk to him about couple's counselling so you can get some help evaluating your relationship and deciding whether or not it makes sense to stay together. Sometimes people can grow so resentful that it's impossible to have a good relationship even if circumstances change so that's something you need to look into.
  7. lonelyforeigner

    Saw a new psychiatrist yesterday

    At the time my memory wasn't very good, I was severely suicidal so everything was just a blur. I stopped after 6 or so sessions so it was too early to have an effect (takes 6 - 12 sessions), mostly because I wanted to get out of the hospital since I didn't feel comfortable there. May be a good idea to check out the hospital if it's a 30-day stay, some have nice psych wards and others are hellholes.
  8. lonelyforeigner

    Saw a new psychiatrist yesterday

    I tried ECT and while there was some temporary short-term memory loss it didn't have a lasting negative impact on my memory. The memory loss and confusion was gone within weeks so I wouldn't worry too much about it. It obviously doesn't have a 100% success rate but it does help many people who don't respond to antidepressants. As far as horror stories are concerned... Take them with a grain of salt, people with good experiences rarely come back to depression-related forums to tell about it so any type of treatment, even ADs, will have a ton of horror stories associated with it. There's no pain involved either, it's nothing like the brutal scene from One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest that we all remember. If nothing else worked for you it's definitely worth a shot.
  9. No worries, I don't take things personally anyway. All the more reason to try! Don't overthink it... Yeah, maybe it would be more helpful to get some therapy first but as long as you can benefit from it it's still worth it. Make it a goal to call around tomorrow and figure out how you can get to a meeting. Recognize excuses for what they are and set your mind to overcoming them. i know it's hard, I'm a damn expert when it comes to finding reasons not to do something, lol.
  10. It doesn't really matter if you hit anyone or anything though. By being in control of the vehicle you displayed the intent to drive which would have put others at risk... You were driving before you got there and you must have intended to drive back home after, no? It seems to me that you feel you were treated unfairly by the police which makes me think you haven't really taken responsibility for what happened. I'm sure that rationally you know that what you did was wrong but emotionally you haven't fully accepted the outcome. Isn't this just an excuse though? I've never been to an AA meeting but I imagine that many if not most alcoholics have some psychological issues. People don't get drunk for no reason, it's usually to suppress negative emotions and make themselves feel better temporarily. While AA will not cure you of your depression it may be helpful to talk to people who understand where you're coming from. Their feedback may also help you better deal with your negative emotions without resorting to alcohol.
  11. There's no such thing as not having enough time... It's a matter of priorities, he can make the time if you mean something to him. Doesn't matter that you need more help than he does, all that matters is that you two aren't working out as a couple right now and both of you should do everything possible to resolve those issues before the relationship deteriorates beyond repair. Didn't you previously mention that you suffer from BPD? If so then you really need to get the right kind of therapy for it. Depression that comes with BPD tends to be treatment-resistant because meds and "normal" therapy don't address the underlying issue, you're only fighting the symptoms.
  12. Would he be open to couple's therapy? While I agree that a temporary break from each other may be helpful it doesn't sound like there's a way to take one. Perhaps it would be helpful for both of you to be able to discuss how you feel in a neutral environment and have someone else give both of you a different perspective on things. That's a great way to look at it! @sabiflitch, don't beat yourself up over the things that happened. You can't change the past, figure out where to go from here instead.
  13. Honestly, I would be scared to death if I were in a relationship with someone unstable who brings up the topic of kids... Kids = more mouths to feed, more expenses, more stress. You say it's purely hypothetical but my mind would probably jump to "she might try to get pregnant against my will" but then again, I'm a bit paranoid... Dunno, there are just too many stories of women who want kids to fill a void in their life or to trap their boyfriend no matter what the cost so that would always be in the back of my mind unless I can 100% trust her. Unless he makes good money I can definitely see why he would freak out when you bring up the topic of kids or even just a cat. Vet bills add up quickly too... I can't say whether or not you should break up with him but I think you need to do everything in your power to get well so you can regain his trust. Right now he probably feels like everything is on his shoulders and when you mention things like kids or getting a certain breed of cat he's probably thinking "yeah, and I'm supposed to pay for it all while she sits at home and does nothing." I don't doubt your struggle but I suspect that to some degree he feels like he's being taken advantage off which leads to feelings of resentment and his outbursts. Sorry, I know this sounds a bit cruel... Just giving you the honest opinion of what I might think if I were in his shoes.
  14. lonelyforeigner

    Chest pain again

    Glad to hear you're OK! Don't worry about stressing your cardiologist, it's his job and it's only normal for patients to be worried when they experience scary symptoms like that. Just don't forget to make the lifestyle changes you mentioned earlier, it can be tempting to go back to our old habits once we get the all clear but you don't wanna push your luck, at some point it will catch up with you even if it's 20 years down the road... I still think your palpitations could be anxiety-related though, when you suffer from anxiety your body has a constant stress response which can really mess with your cortisol and other hormone levels which in turn can affect your cardiovascular system even when you feel relaxed. Another cause could be potassium deficiency, try eating a banana a day for a while to see if that helps. Or like @rhyl suggests, try getting a massage so you can truly relax and get rid of your tension. Not only is the massage helpful in relaxing your muscles but human touch can be very beneficial in general since it makes our body release oxytocin that can help us relax emotionally.
  15. lonelyforeigner

    Why do employers treat depression differently...

    I think it would be much too costly. Plus it's difficult to make an employer responsible for something like depression or anxiety since people are so different. Some are perfectly fine with stressful jobs and they thrive in this kind of environment whereas others have a mental breakdown if they're under too much pressure. Even the same person will handle stress differently depending on what is going on in their personal life. How can you make an employer responsible for the employee's personal circumstances? How do you define undue stress? It's much too subjective... Unless an employer is downright abusive I don't see why they should be responsible for their employee's mental health. If a job situation is so bad that it's causing mental health issues it's time to leave that job.
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