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lonelyforeigner

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lonelyforeigner last won the day on January 16

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About lonelyforeigner

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  1. It's really hard to look back at our past behavior and realize just how much damage our BPD outbursts have caused to our lives. Try not to dwell on it though, you can't change the past anyway. It does seem to get a bit easier with age as long as we are cognizant of our own thinking patterns. What really drives me nuts is how I can recognize dichotomous thinking in others and yet I seem to be unable to recognize it in myself unless enough time has passed. I know what you mean, very few people will put up with our thinking and behavior and we can't even blame them...
  2. Antidepressants often take 4 - 6 weeks or even longer to start working. 7.5mg is an extremely low dose, usually people get started at 15mg and then it gets upped to 30 or 45mg. Just hang in there until you reach a therapeutic dose and ask your partner for patience while you are getting used to it.
  3. I think it's riskier to have sex with someone you pick up on Tinder or a bar... Many prostitutes are more aware of the health risks than your average woman and they will get checkups on a regular basis. Also, unlike a drunk one-night stand they will insist on using protection. Don't generalize like that, there are all kinds. I know four former prostitutes on a personal basis and two of them I am still friends with and talk to regularily. None of them were trafficked, they all did it voluntarily because it was the best option for them at the time: 2 of them did it to support their families. Try helping your unemployed parents and younger siblings by flipping burgers making minimum wage. 1 did it because she wanted to buy a house, she's now a homeowner at 27... She now has more of a safety net than many in their 40s. 1 did it because she is an aspiring musician and needed money to produce music videos, hire other musicians and dancers etc. And no, they weren't just pulling the wool over my eyes, I've met their friends and know where they live and who their relatives are. While none of them enjoyed the work they didn't view it any differently than a normal job. Difference being that they would make anywhere from $10 - 20K in a good month whereas most normal people will bust their butts for a fraction of that. Human trafficking is only really an issue if you pick up a drug-addicted street-walker or go to an shady-brothel. Sex workers who escort or work in legal and higher-end brothels are a completely different story. Don't believe everything you hear! He might even be a virgin, guys lie about sexual encounters all the time.
  4. Glad you found something that takes the edge off. beta blockers really help limit some of the uncomfortable anxiety symptoms 🙂
  5. Yeah, what makes those mails really scary to someone who isn't tech-savvy is that they sometimes personalize it with your full name or other information that they obtained from data breach databases. Only scam I ever fell for was in the early 2000s on eBay when someone with excellent feedback and a verified and well-established PayPal account purchased an expensive lens from me. Turns out the accounts were stolen and once the real owner noticed PayPal reversed the transactions. The worst scams are romance scams where they either end up depleting the victim's life savings or get them involved in money laundering. A popular scam is to create fake dating profiles and pose as an American soldier stationed overseas. Then they'll groom their victim for months and profess their love and start asking for favors such as accepting and forwarding packages. That way they can use stolen credit cards to buy things and then resell them online. Once the police gets involved the victim will be the one getting in trouble...
  6. Well said! You need to assert yourself and tell a guy to stop if he's being too rough, some men have the misguided idea that sex should be like what they see in porn... Don't be afraid to tell them what you like and don't like, a good man will respect your wishes and anyone who doesn't isn't worth your time. I am glad to hear that it's nothing more serious. Please also take this as another reminder to stay away from Dr. Google, you keep self-diagnosing which inadvertently results in you freaking out worrying about the worst-case scenario. Resist the urge to Google when you notice a new problem or symptom and wait for a doctor to diagnose you properly. You're stressing yourself out unnecessarily, this is not healthy.
  7. You're not stupid and certainly not a whore. Sometimes we let our desires cloud our judgement a bit and do something risky but that's just a part of being human! You will find that special connection someday. In the meantime please be careful with guys or some will end up hurting you. It may be old-fashioned but I think that if you like a guy it's best to wait before having sex, how he handles it will tell a lot more about him than his words, a good guy will wait until you are ready, a selfish guy will pressure you or leave. Of course that's only if you really like a guy, if it's just a casual thing then who cares, go have fun, lol.
  8. That sucks. I too am at high risk, on my dad's side of the family my grandmother died from cancer and it seems like she passed the bad genes on, all my uncles and aunts died from it as well. It's good that they're educating people about their elevated risk, that way you will know to get regular screenings and you'll be able to catch it early when the treatment is much more likely to be successful. At the same time it could really wreak havoc on someone already suffering from anxiety...
  9. At least this scammer is creative! 😂 All I get are "You won the lottery" e-mails and those 2 new fake extortion e-mails that are making the round: Someone paid me to **** you but I wanted to give you a chance to live, send me $XXXX in Bitcoins and I will spare your life I installed a video on a porn site and captured your webcam and screen, very interesting, send me $XXXX in Bitcoins or I will let all your friends and your employer know about your sick fantasies
  10. I think it does pay. The only issue I see with being older is that your thought patterns are much more ingrained so it takes more work/time to change them. There's definitely a difference between depression being caused by a chemical imbalance and depression based on events in your past, sadly the health system does not really seem to take this into consideration. Insurance companies prefer that people just take meds, it's cheaper than years of therapy... Not sure if CBT is ever completely useless but I suspect that if someone has a chemical imbalance it will do much less for them than someone who has circumstantial depression.
  11. Same here. I get super paranoid and think that I did something wrong. What's really sad is that I am aware of this but my paranoia coupled with BPD makes it almost impossible to stop those thoughts when the situation arises. Just try to remember that there are people who care about you on DF. There must be some in real life too who just don't know how to express it.
  12. I'm pre-diabetic but don't think that's the reason why, I've been super thirsty since my late teens. No meds. My guess would be a high DHT level since I have many of those symptoms: Excessive sweating Acne Balding Excessive sex drive High blood pressure Maybe I'll have to bring that up next time I get a physical, don't think they check for DHT levels unless asked.
  13. That's never been a problem for me, I'm super thirsty all the time and drink 3 - 4 liters a day. Probably because I'm always hot and sweat excessively. During winter when everybody else is shivering I still manage to steam up car windows, lol.
  14. Nothing a therapist says will magically cure your depression. However, a therapist can help you figure out what your issues are and how you can deal with them more constructively. The other valuable thing a therapist can provide is guidance, help recognize and resolve cognitive biases, help you set goals and teach you techniques to modify your thoughts and behaviors. It's a long process and requires a LOT of work on your part. If you're not open to change or are unwilling to make changes to your life then therapy is a waste of money, they can't do the work for you and you're basically just paying for a friend.
  15. Fat... I gained 15 lbs in the past 2 months. I gotta get my emotional eating under control...
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