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Everything posted by SerzoneUser

  1. Thank you for your kind words SerzoneUser, I can say that I'm doing somewhat better now. I don't see a psychiatrist since I lived in California which was 6 months ago. Because I get a berevment benifet from dad (he died) I don't qualify for insurance, I get too much of an income. Moneys tight right now my mom is without work, I do have a GP which can help with meds I guess. This therapist that my mom found was the only one who would take me without insurance and a psychiatrist, and we just don't have the money right now to see one. I just had a good talk with some friends and I've been able to escape these urges for now at least. I think I'll make it. I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad. That makes things all the worse. I AM happy that you have talked with some friends. I know it's hard to see a psychiatrist without insurance. I DO have insurance but he is out of network so I have always had to pay cash. I'm sure I've paid for a car with my treatment! I am unemployed at the moment also and I know it's hard to make ends meet. An "extra" like paying a doctor bill is near impossible. See how you do with the therapist. I know you're doing the best you can. Have you ever heard of DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance)? Just google DBSA - they have meetings all over the country. I started going after I got out of the hospital. My Dad went with me the first time and I didn't say anything at all - just listened (and cried a bit). I found the meetings to be helpful. The meetings ARE confidential. Everyone is given a chance to speak if they so choose. You will hear the experiences of a wide variety of people and what they have tried for their illness (or experiences of a family members illness). One of the rules is that participants don't tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do. Everything is from the perspective of past experience. Some folks are feeling good, others are in a black hole and there's everything in between. This is not a 12-step program for recovery (because of course that wouldn't work for us) but a place to go to hear how others are coping. It helps to know that there are others out there besides your friends in cyberspace. There is no commitment to attend on a certain schedule. I just go now when I feel like it. Just a thought in addition to seeing your therapist. (Plus someone may have information about a psychiatrist that will see you for a small fee.) Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing. Wishing you the best. Shelly
  2. Please confide in your mother that you can not wait another week to see a therapist. If you are thinking of hurting yourself and self-medicating by abusing your meds you need to speak with someone as soon as possible. If you feel that you are in an emergency situation you can go to a local hospital that provides mental health care. It sounds as if your mother has gotten you an appointment with a different person. Do you see a psychiatrist who prescribed your current meds or a general practitioner? A good psychiatrist with a good knowledge of psychopharmacology should be able to help you get on the right track. I started off with a GP but realized that I needed someone with much more experience. You CAN feel better - you just need to find the right combination of medication and talk therapy. I tried many medications before finding what worked for me. We are all different. Please do not hurt yourself. There are people out there who love you, are worried about you, and just don't know what to do, especially if they have not been in the same place. No one can understand the deepest hole of despair if they have not been there. No one can imagine the bad thoughts that constantly race through your mind if they have not been there. No one can understand the processing of YOUR mind when you are down. No one can understand the need to hurt yourself, to feel the pain so that you feel alive, if they have not been there. Please reach out for help. We don't want to be this way but this is who we are and we need treatment. I have been in treatment for 10 years, hospitalized once for a week, and have been doing really well on maintenance therapy for the past four years. I only see my psychiatrist 4x a year now (unless I feel I need to see him). When I think back on what I have been through, I can't believe I survived. I know I may relapse but I will get help much more quickly. I wish you the best. You sound as if you may be young and have your whole life ahead of you. No matter how desperate things may seem there really is help out there. And whatever you have on your mind that you can't discuss right now, I hope you find someone that you can confide in to ease your mind. I AM NOT A MEDICAL DOCTOR OR THERAPIST. THESE ARE COMMENTS FROM MY LIFE EXPERIENCE.
  3. I realize this post is old, but I have been taking Serzone for about 10 years now. None of the SSRI's seemed to help me. Effexor was horrible. I only have my own experience to rely on but if you have more questions let me know. I have liver function tests done every year and they have been fine. I have used Serzone from 600mg to 100mg at varying points in my treatment. Everyone reacts differently to medications.
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