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Stan Islavski

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  1. Sorry. We’re not all as enlightened and judicious as you. Ironic since we’re in the depression forum. Kinda makes my feelings of worthlessness even more justified. I am quite astonished at the lack of compassion in some of these posts.
  2. I have no misconceptions. I understand exactly. But most people don't. That's why I clearly stated, "most people don't know how or don't WANT to deal with temperamental animals." The only misconception here is that some people delude themselves into thinking that they can control animals, or the animal will NEVER act aggressively, or the animal will never again feel threatened in any manner for the rest of its life. I'm not for putting down animals. I love them. And perhaps I don't know the full story with this particular cat. I'm just going off what the OP wrote. That's all I can do since that's all the information that was given to me.
  3. Wow. OK. You and your employer are obviously in control of the rest of the animals' lives. You know for a fact that you place them with people that will never again see a person of any age that may display aggression toward the cat. Whatever that is you have there, you need to bottle it. Because it's worth billions. And as a bonus, just throw in that lack of compassion for children that you're carrying around.
  4. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but... tough love. You need to follow procedure and notify your supervisor. First you said, "not the first time I've handled cats who had biting or "bipolar" issues... she bit me without warning." Then you said, "I don't want a cat to be euthanized for my doing." If the cat has been on the bite procedure for a few days, how exactly is this an isolated incident that is caused by your behavior? I love cats to death. But truth is, animals can be temperamental same as people. And most people don't know how or don't WANT to deal with temperamental animals. You don't want the cat to get euthanized and you're OK risking your health because of it. Well, what happens when/if she bites someone else and they get infected? What happens when a family comes in and adopts her, and she attacks someone in the family? How about a 1 year old child that doesn't understand temperamental animals? What if the child gets an infection? What happens if the child's face is mauled? What happens if some young kid - just wanting an animal to love - gets bit, scratched, and left with facial scars? Are you willing to risk that?
  5. I don't know where I got it from. I've been good at beating myself up since I was a kid (I'm 45). There have been times when it wasn't like that - when I had my depression under much better control (for lack of a better word). Not always but sometimes. But lately I haven't been in the best of places. Everything I do, everything people say, just reminds me how crappy a person I am. Even if it's not intended that way at all. But my point was, I never beat up on myself to "discipline" myself. I just do it because it's what I would think of anyone that was as worthless as I am.
  6. I don't speak poorly to myself for "discipline". I speak poorly to myself because I'm a terrible and worthless person.
  7. Ringing in a little late here. I hope it is still helpful. You can try an online Physician. They charge a nominal fee for basic issues. I think the last time I used one, it was about $50. Of course, I'm sure many online Physicians are careful about prescribing medication to someone they don't know/have full history of. But Effexor/Venlafaxine is hardly a concern on the "street". You can also ask around your area for any doctors/clinics that work on a sliding scale. There are many, you just need to find them. Good luck!
  8. I agree with what has already been said. To add to it, I don't know that depression has anything to do with what YOU are needing right now. You have obviously been through a lot of hurt and pain. And you are looking for someone/something to blame. It might be the depression. It might not be. It's natural to feel that way but you'll likely never get the answer you want. I think that's a universal truth among all bad breakups. You sound like a very smart, capable, self-assured person. Don't let this change that. I suggest you take the needed time to grieve and then pick yourself up and start moving forward again. All that said, I can tell you a little bit of my story. I had thoughts about infidelity quite a bit in one of my previous relationships. My girlfriend was very selfish and emotionally manipulative/abusive. That relationship is what caused my depression to initially surface. I became so depressed and suicidal and I just wanted someone to treat me like I mattered. Since I wasn't getting that attention at home, I thought a lot about getting it elsewhere. I don't blame my ex-girlfriend for that. I also don't hold her accountable for my depression. In time, I realized that she just wasn't the person I needed her to be. My inability to break up with her sooner was a combination of many things. Most importantly, my low self-worth. So at the end of the day, we just weren't compatible. It was a horrible situation on many levels. And we both got hurt as a result. But depression or not, we were simply mismatched. And that was the bottom line. If your ex has depression, I think it's important you don't blame yourself. It's a horrible disease that you cannot control. And no matter how much you try to help and do the right thing, it might never matter in the end. And if your ex does NOT have depression, I think it's even more important that you don't blame yourself. Lack of integrity is also a horrible disease that you cannot control. And no matter how much you try to help and do the right thing, it definitely will never matter in the end. Always be true to yourself and the rest will work out on its own.
  9. Hi, I am currently in the middle of an extremely bad bout of depression (I've also developed a debilitating case of anxiety). I haven't been on meds in over 10 years. But with the severity of this bout, I've lost any handle I've had on it. That said, I KNOW something needs to be done. And my doctor wants to put me back on medication. But I'm opposed to medication. I have a few high-level reasons (and some biases) for disliking meds. But I don't know if this thinking is right or wrong considering the severity of my depression at this moment. Has anyone here successfully managed a severe bout of depression without meds?
  10. I certainly know how trapped that makes you feel. But step back from your negative bias for a second. You said you were going back to school to better your life. You may feel trapped because school does that at times. But all the time you're putting in right now is for yourself. It may not be the "fun" you envisioned you'd be doing at 30 years old. But it is time and effort you are spending on yourself.I went back to school at 36. It's hard and it takes up a lot of your time. But it's for you. If you don't like your major, change it. Always Remember the goal. Remember why you're doing it. Please believe me when I say it's just a little time out of your life. And you will have many great years to look forward to after you're done. Good luck!
  11. Well... I can tell you one thing for sure. The whole world is most definitely NOT moving forward and into better things. And sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. But that's only because you've not taken care of your own grass. Once you get to the other side of the fence, that grass will be great... for a little bit... until it turns brown and dies because you didn't water and fertilize it. We need to get into the habit of taking care of our own grass. Then it will be something worth enjoying. You want a different life but there is something you can do besides wait. And that is to take action. Set goals. Even small daily goals that will give you a sense of accomplishment. You have a month until your job ends. Use that time. Don't just sit on it. I usually feel like I don't have any energy to do anything. It's an uphill battle at first to get off the couch. But after a week or two it gets easier. Especially if it's routine. For example, I go to the gym a couple days a week. At first I didn't really have the energy. But now I look forward to it. Try it. I know it's not always easy. But I do believe it's worth it. Good luck!!
  12. I feel like me and my wife are in a very similar place. Without knowing a bit more about you, I would assume that this is not your depression talking and you're right to feel your marriage is disconnected. In fact, that's probably a part of what is perpetuating your depression right now. However, I don't believe she disapproves of you. My guess is that's a combination of a few things. For one, she probably has no idea how to help (and hasn't for a long time). That leads to frustration and withdrawal. It reminds me of my kid (he's 4). Sometimes I just don't know how to "reach" him. I try everything I can think of but we're just not connecting/communicating. And I just don't know what to do. That's likely how your wife feels. She is probably also frustrated that your depression doesn't go away quickly. People that don't suffer from depression just don't understand its effects. And they wonder why you just can't "get over it already". I don't know that I have much advice. But it sounds like you both could benefit from more open communication and (especially) understanding and empathy. I wish you all the best. And I really hope things get better for you.
  13. Personally, I'd do the taxes. I too feel like I'm not part of my team. The feeling sucks and no celebration dinner in the world is going to change that right now. Doing taxes sucks too. But they don't cause emotional perturbations like the former does. So getting them finished would definitely provide a sense of accomplishment. And it would be one less thing I'd be anxious about every day. Good luck!
  14. I am in the U.S. and I'm wanting to learn how other societies treat & manage depression. Does anyone have any first-hand knowledge? The reason I ask is because I want to manage the physical/chemical/neuro (whatever you want to call it) side of depression without medication. Any input is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
  15. I haven't seen her I a while but It's been a good experience. It hasn't been an uber enlightening experience. But I've seen 8 traditional therapists/psychs (that I can remember) and the life coach has provided more insight and homework in a few months than all of my therapists put together. But she also has a clinical background. So that probably fit well with me. Just like anything though, I'm sure there are some that aren't very insightful.
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