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Everything posted by Steveab63

  1. I dont know. Maybe change everything you're doing now. Maybe you'll stumble into something better. Ive mentioned this wirh relationships, if it feels really different and scary, thats probably good. We tend to gravitate to what we're used to, even if that us bad for us. Thats what happened to me...whacko people in my childhood, so i sought out whacko people in adulthood. Wish i knew that sooner. Too late to fix now.
  2. Fwiw i was on Wellbutrin for years and it worked really well for me. It has minimal side effects except maybe some really weird dreams. I hope it works as well for you as it did for me.
  3. Wish i had a solution, but i have the same issue. If i dont work myself to death, my brain finds stuff to worry about. All the bad things that could happen. On and on. Its exhausting, and sometimes sleep doesnt even work. Ive woken up in the middle of the night with a full blown panic attack. Ugh...
  4. You may find it better to have a realtor help with the rental. I know of someone who gives the realtor 1 months rent, and in return, the realtor does background checks, credit checks, and has a contract written up that protects everyone according to the laws of the state. You can also add conditions to the lease: no excessive water use, conducting a business, subletting, pets, leaving trash when they leave, conditions of security deposit, who pays for what..utilities etc. Even agreeing to vacate if rent unpaid over 45 days. Everything in writing.
  5. I hope you feel better. Its too bad we cant talk with people in person like we do here...but its scary enough doing this with anonymity. This being grown-up thing isn't as cool as i thought it would be when i was a kid.
  6. I wish i understood this stuff. On one hand he may feel the same way and is afraid to say so...or he might not feel the same and it will be awkward and change the relationship. Flip a coin maybe? Ugh...
  7. I know what you mean. Like a hamster wheel....hang in there.
  8. i would say im not emotionally well enough to handle this right now. Personally im done with funerals...cant do it. Everyone is just going to have to get over it where im concerned. Id rather remember people as they were alive. I have enough funeral 'pictures' etched into my brain that will haunt me forever. Im happy about the ones i didnt attend, i can remember the good instead of the bad. Sorry, i have serious issues with death. If you had to comfort someone else that was attending, that would be slightly more pressure in my mind, but it sounds like thats sufficiently covered. If youre over 18, what you do is up to you, no one else.
  9. I sort of do think that is a trap you can get into. I tried to articulate that once here, and got attacked for saying it....because it kind of comes out sounding like" quit your whining and snap out of it"...which many of us have heard, and its not the least bit helpful, understanding, or compassionate. The point is though, that once youve established that you have the condition, and have some support and understanding from others, either here or therapy, etc. That you shouldnt accept it as your fate and give up fighting it. Youll never improve that way. And there is some weird comfort in comisserating, but you have to get up and fight, and never give up. See? Hard to not sound like im saying " get over it" but...maybe a little...again, you need to gather every bit of strength you can muster and keep fighting. Think of fight or flight...you need the fight part for this. The flight part is you hiding under the covers...not gonna get better with that. Ive wanted to give up myself...like an hour ago...now im here saying this. How it goes, get knocked down, get up and fight some more. Sucks, but thats what we're dealt. When youre going through hell, keep going.
  10. Everyone is different. Im sure there are plenty of people who have the same traits and opinions as you do, and would understand/ also have the ones you call negative. Just a matter of finding them.
  11. Another day, another crisis. Email with bad news and my heart is racing, stomach upset, and shaking like a leaf. Really getting sick of everything. Hard to imagine i was feeling good before that, but i kind of was.
  12. I know what you mean. Its tough to kniw whethet to share your depression with others. Some people can be understanding, and even helpful...especially if they or a family member has been through it. But others dont get it, and dont really want to hear about it. If you can find the former, it can be quite a valuable find, kind of like this site...where people 'get it'. I hope you find the tools to make yourself feel better. It takes some work. Feel better.
  13. You can find lots of stuff on industrial automation on utube. Its kind of computers and a bit of everything else. Mechanical, electrical, hydraulics, pneumatics.... If electronics interests you it may be more challenging than carrying cement blocks around. You sound like me, ive done it all too, but the electronics angle is kind of fun, and unique enough to provide some career opportunities you may like. It also requires some studying, so something to do at night besides thinking about your problems. Might be worth a look?
  14. Yes, keeping busy is the only thing that keeps me going. If i slow down, i slip backwards in a hurry.
  15. So many years ago i moved from the frosty north, to the sunny south in my battle of depression. It was a relief to not have several months of gray and cold, accentuated by everything dying this time of year. That worked for a while, but as time marches on, i notice that with the shorter days, im still feeling the impending doom of whatever it is that comes this time of year. Even though i work outside and its still hot as hades out there. I guess this insidious condition knows no bounds. For those who also notice this change; look up SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder. They have broad spectrum lights that are supposed to help.. Ive never tried one.
  16. If a therapist was revealing your conversations id bawl them out. That is not acceptable unless you were threatening to harm someone. And it shouldnt deter you from trying again.
  17. Sorry youve had a rough day. Ive had days i didnt want to move out of bed, but i have a unique job so i cant really stay home unless im in a cast or something. I also think it would be hard to explain a mental health issue. Id be afraid that would translate to: 'unreliable'. I'd tread lightly at work with that subject. Regardless you dont need to feel guilty, or explain yourself. "It was a personal matter", is all you have to say.
  18. Lousy. Had a headache for a few days, lingering after a migraine. Then just found out another relative has cancer. The crap never ends. Does anything good ever happen?
  19. People are obsessed with categorizing everything. They are also incredibly complex and diverse. There are a million shades of gray, and you are discussing a 'shade'. Ive read that preferences can come and go/ change over time. So nevermind categorizing and deal with relationships as they occur. Watching porn can put lots of intriguing ideas in your head, that doesnt mean you have to, or ever will, do them. Try to relax about it. You could also go off in a tangent about being dominated having to do with your childhood etc. and not about sex at all; all way beyond my expertise. A therapist would be more helpful there.
  20. Hi , I could never understand how a person's private life is anyone else's business. Other people's sexual preferences certainly dont bother me. Try to ignore the small minded people; get away from them if you can. I live in a big city and it's no big deal here. Little towns, probably. I don't blame you for being upset...
  21. For me, i need work to distract me from thinking about my problems. I hate to think what my life would be like if i had unlimited time to be in my own head. Cant you ask for some relief or help at work?
  22. Well, like everyone else in my life, you took what i said the wrong way. I should be used to it by now....i didnt mean stop crying about it...as in "get over it", or "man up" etc. That obviously doesnt help, and we've all hear that from people that dont understand. My point was to not let it take over your life, resign yourself to it, and give up trying to improve. I do however think for a lot of us its a constant thing to keep working on it. Like i said, for me it has not been, take a pill, get cured, done. Its been constantly learning about myself and how to deal with depression. Sorry if you misunderstood my intent, or if you simply disagree and have a penchant for attacking people. Whatever. Hope you feel better.
  23. Yeah i cant cry either. As i recall, from way back when my dad died, it helped me feel better. But guys were/are told theyre not supposed to do it. And of course i have to worry about what society thinks i should do.
  24. Relieved its Friday finally. Worked two 50+ hour weeks in a row. I asked for a partial day monday so i can relax a little and have a long weekend. Im not depressed when im busy working, but then im exhausted. I wonder what normal is????
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