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Everything posted by Steveab63

  1. Give it some more time and see if it kicks in. It can take 4 to 6 weeks for you to notice a change. Also, the changes are so subtle that you may not notice right away. As far as socializing, and anxiety (if it is a factor), you may need something additional for that. See how it goes with the prozac, then check in with you Dr and ask about the rest. Unfortunately these drugs work in slow motion. Steve.
  2. Did you say go back to his GP? A psychiatrist is an expert in this stuff. The G stands for general....
  3. I don't Live today Maybe tomorrow I just can't say...... It's such a shame to waste your time away like this..... I Don
  4. Trace, Apparently so. I tried their little free intro which was kind of fun, but couldn't find any info on whether it really helps. They say it does, but they're selling something. Steve.
  5. Syst3M, I wanted to write last night, but I was exhausted. I have felt exactly like you at times. I am not much good at social situations myself. I was raised in a dysfunctional family too. My dad drank way too much...it eventually killed him, and my mother was in and out of a mental ward several times during my childhood. Not the best recipe for a well adjusted child/adult. You can feel better, but it takes some work and stubborn-ness. (is that a word?). You have to be more stubborn than the depression. I think most of us here can relate, so don't worry about how your posts sound, we've all been there, and are here because we want to help others who think they are "the only one who feels like this". NOT. Regarding your current post: I think you have just stumbled upon another person who has similar issues to yours. Not as uncommon as you might think according to a therapist friend of mine. Don't feel guilty about stirring up things in his memory, it sounds like he has some work to do in his emotional life too. If you feel comfortable confiding in him tell him its ok and that he can confide in you. Thats what we do here, and it does help. Having a friend in a similar situation is helpful. It may sound like a lot of complaining, but its part of working your way through it. Don't be afraid of tears, its part of the healing process. Know that your parent's problems were not your fault. You had a right to be a kid and to expect to be loved and supported. If that didn't happen, (like it didn't for me), you have to understand that what happened to you is not how its supposed to be, and that you can have it now. Best wishes, Steve
  6. Unperson, You are a person, and you are valuable. Quit putting yourself down. I can relate to your situation. I was going to school for engineering, and gave up when I found the calculus to be too much for me. All I can say is that you have to come up with plan "B". Don't worry too much about the money, the whole world is in debt, including the government. They don't seem too concerned, they just keep piling on more. I'm not so sure that terminating your meds at the same time as a painful anniversary and your current other issues is such a good idea. You should probably consider seeing your psychiatrist and coming up with a plan "B" for that too. I think I can relate to the anxiety factor. I have been on Prozac and Wellbutrin for ages, and lately I have been having some serious issues with anxiety. That's why I'm here tonight. Anyway, try not to beat yourself up. Some plans work out, some don't. Thats just how it is. Think of other things that interest you and explore those as possible career paths. Meanwhile, keep coming back here. We want to know how you're doing. Steve.
  7. Hi everyone, I was wondering if anyone has done the Luminosity course. I tried there initial trial and am wondering if I should get a subscription. I couldn't find much info on whether it works or not. Any advice? Did you like it? I'm trying to do something about my brain fog. Thanks, Steve
  8. I second what IMRJ said. If you don't have an endocrinologist, get one. There are a lot of other things to monitor besides T level. I did the Androgel gig, it didn't do much for me, and you have to be careful it doesn't rub off on women or kids if you have them. If you are in a warm climate, like me in Florida, it will come off sweating etc. I now do shots. Sounds scary but I do it myself now. Don't try to mess with dosage though, the body has a feedback system. If you add more, it makes less to stay balanced. I don't know if Prozac causes erection problems, they give it for premature E.... I take Wellbutrin and Prozac and I got some ED meds, which I don't always need. Definitely talk to your Dr. about all of these things. Steve.
  9. Hi Kerrima, I'm no expert on relationships, but it sounds like he lost interest when he got what he wanted, if you know what I mean. Sorry.... I think you should move on and find someone worthy of your company. Steve
  10. Hi Everyone, I haven't read all of the information in this category, so this may have already been covered. One time a while ago I took some Sudafed while I was on Wellbutrin SR 300/day. The mixture seemed to put my antidepressant into reverse mode. I was so depressed I was absolutely miserable. It was the worst I had ever felt. I quit taking the Sudafed and was back to normal. I now have it listed as "allergic" in my records at the pharmacy. Apparently Sudafed contains pseudoephedrine, so I check for that anytime I need cold medicine. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but you may want to steer clear of Sudafed. Steve.
  11. Welcome aboard. No need to be ashamed of anything here, we've all been there. Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist? I realize that is a scary thing for a lot of people, but they are specialists in dealing with the brain and medicines for mental issues. Going to one does not mean you're crazy. Not going to one when you need to might be considered crazy though, at least by those of us whose life has been turned around by one. There is no need to suffer, there are tons of options for help. Of course money is always an issue, but there are clinics that have Sliding Fee Schedules that charge based on your income. As far as getting a better job, I think the whole country is having the same problems for people looking for a job, so you're not alone there. There are a lot of nice and experienced people here. Keep writing, I'm sure you'll get plenty of support. Steve.
  12. After a slight crash at Christmas, I bounced back pretty quickly. More recently things have been going fairly well, but I have been having this feeling of impending doom. I seem to be manufacturing things to worry about: my house will burn down, someone I care about will die, I'll lose my job, what will I do when my dog gets old and dies (he's only 4, but is the only one who really cares if I exist). Does anyone else create unrest for themselves? I realize its unnecessary, but I still do it. Is it a form of anxiety? Steve.
  13. FL...., I feel your pain. I have dealt with depression for years, and I'm pretty sure my wife has BPD. It is truly craziness dealing with someone like that. Keep on fighting the depression, and remember her whackyness has nothing to do with you. You don't cause it and you can't control it, you just hang on for the ride. At least thats what I try to do. Sometimes I try to rationalize with her, but she still likes to freak out over pointless things that are over and done with and can't be changed. Steve.
  14. I'm better at remembering my failures over my success, and I've had plenty of failures where people are concerned. I haven't really lost faith in people though. This website proves that there are kind and caring people in the world. What I have lost faith in is myself. I used to think that I could achieve most anything I set my mind to do if I worked at it hard enough. After trying and trying on some subjects I finally realized that it isn't so. Of course it could be a fear of success or the fact that my dad said I would never amount to anything. Or maybe its just the cycles of depression and the antidepressants.....I don't know. In any case I have given up a lot of things I wanted to do. All I ever really wanted was someone to love who loves me back, but I can't even get that right, and I'm the nicest person I know. So anyway I think there are plenty of good people out there, but you have to keep looking for them. The depression is one of my successes though. I have seen the psychiatrists and therapists. I take my meds religiously, and I keep working on myself, either by utilizing this site, or reading and learning about mental health issues. The trait that helps the most is being stubborn, so you can keep fighting no matter what. You can't let depression win. Steve.
  15. Yeah, I'd have to agree with the others. My mom went into a deep depression after I was born. I think it was probably postpartum that triggered a deeper depression. At the time we lived out in the middle of nowhere, and my older sister had a lot to do with taking care of me.....she would have been 9 or 10 then. My dad would have been working most of the time. I think that I probably didn't have much mental stimulation when I was little. No other kids around, emotionally unavailable mother, and dad and sis busy with other things. Couple all of this with the trauma of my mom being in and out of mental hospitals several times during my childhood, and I'd say it has a lot to do with my depression and flat affect. Steve.
  16. Hi, One of the things that helped me was finding this site and reading many of the posts. I thought I was such a freak because of my upbringing and how I felt, and what I had trouble with. After seeing all of the other people who share the same issues, it has made me feel more 'human'. I used to feel like an alien in the world. I have actually gotten more encouragement and kindness on this site than I ever got growing up. I have even gotten to the point where I can write to someone like you, who I have never met. I'm not sure how well I would do in person, but practice is practice. I never had cbt, so maybe this is the same or similar....When I have negative thoughts I yell STOP, not for real, but in my head. Its kind of like training a dog, you have to catch it right away. like: "I'm such a, STOP!." didn't get to think "*****". Give it a try . I know what you mean about doing lots of work and thinking that "I'm still screwed up me". You just have to give yourself credit for the work you've done and keep working on it. It sounds like you have a better head start than me if people find you funny and you can carry a conversation. I still have trouble figuring out what to say to people in social situations, and women, forget it. I'm totally lost there.....no clue what to talk about. Maybe you can try some affirmations too; if you haven't already. That can be helpful. You kind of have to brainwash yourself so it takes a while. Keep working on it......I will too. Steve.
  17. Re: "My mother would wake me up at night and complain about me until 3 or 4 in the morning during school nights." This reminds me of my father. He would start drinking when he got home from work. By 9pm he was primed up for lecturing. We would sit in the living room supposedly watching television, and he would be babbling away about how I was doing this wrong, and that wrong, and would never amount to anything, blah, blah, blah. No wonder I can't succeed in anything in life. I get 3/4 of the way there, and I get stuck. who knows where I'd be if I was actually encouraged once in a while. My mom was mentally ill too, but she was nice, just emotionally unavailable. So, back to you, I know how much of a burden it can be to have someone make a career out of trashing you in your own home. I'm sorry you had to endure this treatment. I still think about my dad's lectures, and that was 30 years ago. It sounds like most members of your family have lasting effects from that household; alcoholism, prison, etc. If you have't seen a therapist, I urge you to do so, as well as visiting this site often. You may need to work on things like self esteem, and the realization that your family life was not normal, so you don't know what normal is. Also that you were not responsible for any of the events that transpired at home. Children should be loved, encouraged, and have a relatively happy childhood. I guess neither of us got that.....Once you get a handle on the depression via medication and therapy, you can start to make some new friends and resume dating. May I suggest you make some acquaintances that are not J.W.? Fanaticism of any subject is not healthy. You didn't say how long you have been on the antidepressant, but if it is a new thing, give it some time to get working in your body. It can take 4-6 weeks. There are some great people around here. You'll find plenty of them who will understand and support you. Good luck, Steve
  18. Yeah, family knows how to push our buttons and hit a raw nerve every time. Maybe you should print out your post and hand it to him. There's nothing you can do legally to get your son? I"m sorry your having a tough time...... Steve.
  19. Electrix, I think there is a bereavement room on this site too. If I understand correctly you email an admin for the password. I know the deaths in my family were exceedingly difficult for me. It helps a lot to talk about it and cry the pain out. Holding it in is the worst thing you can do. Feel Better... Steve
  20. I've been on Prozac and Wellbutrin for years and I lead a relatively normal life. I had a bit of a crash a few days ago, but overall I'm pretty good. Steve.
  21. Bella, Nice name, it was my mother's name. When my mom was dying with cancer I was there. When my sister was dying of cancer I decided I couldn't go through that again, so I stayed away. Both experiences were awful. You can only do what you can do. You have to take care of yourself. I"m sure your mom knew you loved her. If you still have unresolved grief and feel like crying, let the tears flow. If you don't it will just follow you around until you do. There is a term "Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda" that is usually followed by something like "Is pointless and makes you feel bad". Beating yourself up over past issues isn't going to change anything and isn't productive. Of course you can learn from past experience, but that's about all. Give yourself a break, forgive yourself for whatever you think you may have done, and focus on the future. If you become upset with people, try to look beyond your emotion and see if you can determine what exactly is making you so angry. Maybe then you can figure out what's going on. If you feel you should apologize to someone, go ahead. Steve.
  22. Hmm, this is a very interesting topic. I've been on Wellbutrin for years.....long enough to forget how many years. I have noticed many of the effects noted above. Steve
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