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Everything posted by Steveab63

  1. It's been a couple of months now, and the depression and anxiety have improved somewhat, but the fatigue has not. The dr finally said to try 25 mg at evening instead of 50, so i guess ill try that. I dont want the bad stuff to come back, since the improvement seems pretty subtle, but I'm tired of being tired. I can sleep all day if i let myself do so. Guess I'll see what happens....again.
  2. Thanks for the replies. The startup was relatively uneventful, except the added fatigue. The good parts are occasional at best. Seems to provide some relief, more subtle than i had hoped. Guess ill stick with it for a while and see what happens...
  3. Just went to my 1 month follow up after starting Zoloft 50mg and wondering if i made the right decision. I agreed to stick with it another month to see what happens. I just hope im still employed by then. I dont care if i get off the couch. Im letting things slide i should be doing. I have some feeling-good moments, but anxiety hasn't gotten much better, and the feeling of impending doom is likely lessened by the foggy brain i now have. At least without the meds i could force myself to get going and do something. Now im sitting here instead of doing what i should be doing. Ugh... Based on the other posts here, im not filled with optimism. Anyone?
  4. I suspect everyone wonders about this. Especially when reminded by movies like Back to the Future, that changing one little detail all those years ago could have changed everything dramatically. I've certainly wondered: "what if..."
  5. Day 2 on Zoloft after a few years off AD's. So far no freaking out or feeling like i got hit in the head with an anvil. Hopefully no problems going to work tomorrow, which was my biggest concern. So far so good.
  6. Grounded, Goodfor you. Just remember most people are too involved in themselves to be concerned about you. Took me a while to figure that out that myself. Gilberto, Ask your Dr. For some buspirone to get past Wellbutrin's anxiety stage. I got used to it after a while, and only rarely needed the buspirone after that, but a lot of us know how much the anxiety sucks. Of course you have to convince your Dr. That you wont abuse the buspirone, but its not addicting. It worked miracles for me.
  7. Sometimes you have to shut people out of your life, to save yourself. It can be painful when it is family, but it still is necessary. You dont need to be someone's punching bag.
  8. I think money would fix a lot of my problems. If i could pay off all of my bills and mortgage, i wouldnt have that constant anxiety. I could afford to go to doctors, therapists, etc. I could afford to help others that need it and that would feel good. Im a tinkerer so id always be building something. But ill probably never know how any of that feels. You have to be a lying, cheating, scumbag that preys on other people to be rich, and im not like that. So at least i have that going for me.
  9. Hi Kim I totally relate. Its like circling the drain waiting to get sucked down. All i can say is keep busy somehow. If youre occupied or exhausted from being occupied you cant obsess over the 1000 things that pop into your head to worry about. Exercise helps if you're able. Other than that, maybe see a Dr. About getting some meds to take the edge off. Ive been off my meds for a few years, and im going back on them. It sucks but so does feeling horrible. To borrow a phrase: one day at a time... Good luck.
  10. Being able to put yourself in somone else's point of view is a special skill. I think a lot of people lack the ability and it causes a lot of friction. I developed that skill dealing with my mom, who was in and out of mental hospitals since i was s kid. I had to do a lot of millisecond calculations to figure out how to deal with her without upsetting her which would make her emotionally shut down. The result for me is that i am very tolerant of everyone's idiosyncrasies, because i can see their point if view. Maybe that's more confusing than being opinionated and closed minded??? Anyway dont worry about which view to follow. Bounce between the two and use all information to deal with people. It will probably make you a more compassionate and understanding person. You might even have a future as a therapist.
  11. I was on it once briefly, as well as Ritalin. It helped a little, but nothing remarkable. Guess everyone is different.
  12. The dog might help your depression more than the doctor...
  13. Not sure why this is showing up on my list as it appears to be old...but ill respond anyway. Im a guy and i had the same problems with ssri's, and i get it...its a deal breaker. When youre depressed the last thing you want is having the only pleasure in life taken from you. I had good luck with wellbutrin SR, which does not have that side effect. In fact it can sometimes make things feel better if you get my drift. But, sometimes i had anxiety that it didnt tackle. For that i was given buspirone, which supposedly is not addicting. I used it sparingly and it worked well for me. You may have some convincing to do, as dr's are paranoid about people abusing stuff for anxiety. Anyway, it was a good combo for me, and had the least objectionable side effects.
  14. you need to keep doing things with others and taking more classes in things you like and stop thinking about yourself. introspection is our kryptonite. we will always think of ourselves as lacking in this or that, or worrry that everyone around us thinks we're stupid or inept in some way. that's just our inferiority complex screwing with us, and it's not necessarily true. you just have to keep forging ahead and you'll be good. don't dwell on the bad, that will drag you down. good luck....
  15. i could have written your post when i was 29. That's how old i was when i finally met a girl and started going out for the first time. never say never. you need to loosen up and keep going out and be around people. stop taking every meeting with a woman so seriously. if something happens good, if not, you don't have to beat yourself up about it for a month. keep trying ....it's a numbers game, the more you try the better the odds. read some self help books about body language and self esteem, etc. knowledge is power. don't give up. i thought i had no chance of ever finding someone, now i've been married for ages. good luck...
  16. Wish I could figure out how to not care about anything. I'm always stressed out.
  17. Add me to the list. I'm now mid 50's, no financial security, worried about my job regularly, wondering what's going to blow up in my face next. Yeah, life is grand.....
  18. I lived through a similar home life situation when I was in high school and it was pretty bad. Sorry you're going through that. I also used to go to friend's houses and found it weird that people were laughing and happy, nothing like my house. Don't feel guilty about that. Hang on and bail asap. Even if it's for schooling you don't necessarily want, it's a starting point. You can always do something different later. Once you're out of the home hassles, and start making your own decisions, you'll be able to think more clearly about what direction to go. If all else fails you'll have training in the medical field, which frankly isn't such a bad idea, people will always need that. For many, learning is a lifetime thing, so you can always go back and learn something else. Lot of choices and time. Pick a direction, do that a while, then re evaluate. You don't have to go in a straight line.
  19. I moved from New England to FL years ago because I couldn't stand the cold grey days of winter that seemed to last forever. It helped my mood quite a bit for a while. Getting away from the house I grew up in likely helped too: too many not-so-good memories there. However the move didn't solve everything. There's still money and relationship problems, and some ghosts of the past follow you everywhere, but overall it was good for me.
  20. Don't knock avoidance, or put another way, denial gets me through the day. When I'm busy at work, or busy with other things, my depression is minimal, anxiety too. It's when I have free time, or focus on it too much, it envelops my entire being. The idea of therapy totally eliminating the monsters under my bed, from a screwed up childhood, have proven unattainable. I've accepted that some things are parts of my programming and are stuck that way. The trick is learning to function in spite of the flaws in the program. So, don't work yourself into a frazzle over old issues. If denial works, don't knock it. Fake it till you make it. You said you were doing good until you started the dreaded introspection thing again. Stop that. Whatever you were doing before, do it some more.
  21. Here's a thought, maybe way off, but here goes.. Are you a perfectionist? Are you afraid to confide in anyone because it will reveal you have problems and are not perfect? Are you afraid to give advice to others because you think it could be wrong...not perfect? Are you constantly feeling judged? Hence the anxiety?Just a thought...
  22. How about being totally honest? Have you told him you deal with the same issues and that you understand? Also cover the issues about stigma and manliness that need to be pushed aside so the problem can be addressed? Not a parent...just thoughts.
  23. Doesn't sound like Tinder is your thing anyway. Seems you want a real relationship. You're probably better off in some co-ed situation to meet someone with similar interests: a class, club, something like that. I had some buddies into one night stands. That wasn't for me, I wanted something real.
  24. Also, alcohol is a depressant, so, though it may numb the pain for a bit, it leaves you with depressed mood for a few days. Keep repeating that cycle and you keep the depression going, or making it worse.
  25. 99 %of this is perceptions of ourselves. Like Rich said, I was in a relationship with a pretty blonde when I was young, and I spent the whole time with her wondering what the hell she was doing with me. Of course that didn't last. I had zero confidence, and would still be alone if a woman didn't take the lead and decide I belonged to her. That hasn't exactly been ideal either, but it's better than loneliness. Looking back on my younger pictures, I was a good looking guy, but I thought I was disgusting. That has improved over time, but too little too late. People like Desperate Loser and I are way too introspective for our own good. I too have existential questions that can never be answered. Best to not go there. I've spent lots of time convincing myself I'm not so bad, but when I really needed it, in my 20's, that realization wasn't there. So, if you're in that spot, give yourself a break. No one looks like a model on a magazine cover. Even those models (without Photoshop).
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