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Izzie75

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  1. No rashes, no difficutlty breating, no swelling, just that D*** itch all over.
  2. I don't know. As I said I've been on Lithium for a while and it's just when I stopped taking Seroquel that the itching started. After some research on the web, it actually appears I'm not the only one with that problem. I'll call my doc tomorrow anyway, but she did say that I could stop Seroquel like that, no problem. And even in the notice it's clearly written that you have to be careful.
  3. Hi everyone, I started taking Lithium about a month and a half ago, and as it seem to work, my pdoc and I decided I could come off the Seroquel. I wanted to know if any of you who ever stopped taking Seroquel experienced these symptoms, and for how long ... I know these are in the notice and I have them: Nausea Vomitting Insomnia I have another one that's not in the notice: everything itches. My scalp, my hands, my shoulders, some places in my back...it's really awful and it doesn't stop for a second. Did any of you experienced the itching ? (When I stopped, merely 4 days ago, I was on a smaller dose of 50mg a day) Thanks for your advice.
  4. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  5. Well I gotta say I gained weight this past year, quite a bit, and the prospect of gaining more is really putting me off too....
  6. My husband is already showing signs of fatigue as it is. It's already very hard on him. I tried keeping a moodtracker but I quit after a couple of weeks...That's just the way I am right now, can't keep up with nothing...Although I'm gonna make an effort. I have to keep track of my mood or it's just not going to work.
  7. Thanks everyone for the answers. Although I'm a bit more concerned because of the dose she prescribed: 10mg...
  8. So, after a few trials and errors including cymbalta (didn't work), wellbutrin (didn't work) and the fact that Seroquel actually does work for me but leaves me basically in a zombie state (I go to bed at normal times, but in the morning, I just can muster the strength to go drop my daughter to school and when I come back home, sleep in the couch for up to 4 hours), my psych wants me to try zyprexa, and if zyprexa works I can maybe stop the seroquel. First, how are we going to know that zyprexa works while I'm on another mood-stabilizer ? And secondly, I never heard of zyprexa before... And if zyprexa doesn't work she wants me to go on lithium...and the idea doesn't exactly fill me with joy. I don't have manic episodes anymore, no rage fit, I'm just a bit more irritable since we lowered the seroquel from 300mg to 200mg, but that seems normal to me. Problem is: I'm depressed as hell. I'm lazy, I don't want to do anything but stay on the couch alld day. I really don't know what to think anymore. Plus the psych makes take anti-depressants for a couple of months then tells me to quit them cold turkey, and that in my book is a big no no. I just stopped wellbutrin. If I start zyprexa, who knows if any side effects will be related to me stopping wellbutrin or starting the zyprexa ? Sorry if this post is a bit deconstruced, but I'm confused. On the other hand, I had to go to another psychiatrist for the insurance, and that guy turned out to be just amazing, he asked the right answers, talked to me so nicely and ended up giving me a book that he wrote, just for free, just like that, and when we left (I was with my man), he told us that we were a minority, saying that only 80% of couples where one of the two was bipolar end up in definitive divorce/separation. I already knew I was grateful for my man for what he has to go through "because" of me. And then the guy went on to say that (I quote) "it's an awful disease". Hearing it from a total stranger made me somehow feel better. I wanted to hug him. If he lived closer to home, I'd make him my usual psych. Unfortunately, of course, he told me that finding the right combination of meds could take probably another half year. Oh well...I try.
  9. Let's talk about my mother. Because my mother is probably the person who hurt me the most as child, a teenager and a young adult. I don't remember much about my early childhood, bits and pieces. Nothing prior to when my parents separated when I was 5 going on 6. After that, it seems my mother revealed a side of her that was really, really, twisted. One of my earlier memories was when I must have been 6, a bit after the separation, then. She was running after my older brother (he's 3 years older than me) around the living room table with a dog leash. The metal kind. I loved her, back then, as any child love their parents no matter what. I used to write her little notes saying how much I loved my mommy. Thinking of it now makes me feel sick to my stomach. She started being mean. If there was a bit of mess in our bedrooms (which kids doesn't have a mess in their bedroom ?), she would come in and throw everything, everything, on the ground so we'd clean up. She slapped us a lot. I'm not going to say we were physically abused, it wasn't like that, but if we talked to her in a way she didn't like, the slap would come around. I remember once, she had to go out, and I don't know what I said or did, but she locked me up on the balcony and went out. Sweet, huh ? Then when I was 11, we moved from a nice apartment to another, social type, one. She remained the same. Kept on raiding the bedrooms. Slapped. And started the insults. I don't know how many times I heard her tell me I was a "garce" or a "peste" in french, of course. You might translate that as "Biotchy girl". Then came "connasse", which you might translate as "dumb****" or "******". Up to when I left home age 22. She humiliated me in front of my friends, saying nasty stuff. Yelled at said friends when they would come ringing at the door. At some point, my brother started feeling like the dominant one. One time I was watching tv, and he wanted to change channel. I said something along the lines "you dont' give orders, here" and he slapped me. He even slapped me in front of my and his friends. And he seemed quite proud of it. He is taller and of course stronger than me, there was no way I could defend myself, and I wouldn't have dared. When I reported those incidents to my mother, she would just brush them aside. He once hit me with his foot on my back and I came crashing on the kitchen cabinets. The worse he did was headbutting me. My nose bled. I went to my mom who barely said anything. Then I heard him say "and when SHE hits me you don't say anything". Like I would ever have dared hit my older, taller, stronger brother. But apparently she believed him, because for a few hours I got the silent treatment. The last time my mother tried to slap me in the face I pushed her back, then my brother came in and try to strangle me. That made her laugh. This went on until I left. During all that time I never dared tell anyone until the last time my brother threw me against the furniture, leaving me with bruises on my back. I called my dad from a friend's house. He got mad at my brother for a couple of weeks, then forgot all about it. When I got sick, my mom would get mad at me. Or didn't believe me. She never even bother educating us, simple things like "brush your teeth", "take a shower", things like that. And last year, during the Barbecue Incident, it all came back. No one moved. No one said a word. Because they had all made a fine job at convincing themselves I was the nasty, vicious, manipulative one. So I went away. Didn't look back. Just went away. To them, this, (and this is just a fraction of what happened while I was growing up) is nothing. This is in the past and shouldn't be talked about, not worth it. My mother invokes the fact that she was raised by nuns, her own mother being too sick to take care of her. And then ? Do I treat my daughter that way ? No. We're not doomed into repeating our parent's mistake, that's bulls***. It took me a while to realize that all of this wasn't normal. To understand that in most families, there's no slapping or insulting or threatening. But to them, as I said, I am the Biotchy one. I'm the one who's wrong. And you end up believing that indeed, that's what you are.
  10. My previous Pdoc opened my eyes one day: she said I couldn't cope with happiness because I wasn't used to it. Happiness is abnormal to me. If something happy arrives, count on me to ruin it.
  11. On my business card it's written "development engineer". Which is whatever. I work in IT and basically solve problems, day in, day out. I used to like it, than management change, people were fired and now I hate it. I actually filed for harassement twice and no one cared. I haven't gone to work in almost a year. Just a week or two here and there. Can't work in that environment, it enables my disorder.
  12. That was a while ago. I'm back on taking 1mg 3 times a day, now. But about 3 years ago I had stopped xanax completely. It's always 3mg. Sometimes less if I can. I know going up in the doses would be a very bad idea. I'm too aware of the dangerousness of it.

  13. Thnx Izzie!

    Very interesting that you are also starting on Cymbalta! I have to say that for the first 3 weeks(at 60mg per day), there wasn't any Side Effects that I could really say was coming from my change to Cymbalta. Maybe it's just starting now after 4 weeks.....?

    Believe me, since the weekend, life has been ROUGH on me with my "body-brain chemistry" compl...

  14. Just wanted to tell you to hang in there. Xanax has been a dream at the beginning and now it's a nightmare I can't get rid off. I hate it, I just take it not to have withdrawal and because my Pdoc doesn't want me to stop it at this time, while we're still trying to search for the right "cocktail". I also take escitalopram, cymbalta, and seroquel. I feel like a freakin...

  15. I was surprised when I started spreading the doses how easy it went. But that's just me, of course. You also take cymbalta, just like me . Make sure to keep me updated on that one, I just started it, 60mg, my 6th day today. I also do try to exercice a minimum of 30 minutes each day but sometimes the will or the energy is just not there. And I prefer exercising in the evening ;)
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