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About chumly

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  1. This forum and the wonderful help I have found on here throughout the years has been tremendous! I cant thank everyone enough for such a great place to go when you have nowhere else to to turn, like I often find myself!! Is there a way I can contribute to this forum?? Thanks again for having such a great place!
  2. chumly

    very sad and disappointed tonight!

    Wow!! you really understand! Thankyou!!! just simply having someone understand even this much and let me know means the world to me...I cant thankyou enough for it!! You really made my night for totally understanding. I really love this forum and all the great help I get from people such as yourself. Thanks!!
  3. Just wanted to simply say that I am very sad and very disappointed tonight!!! I dont think I have what it takes to explain what happened today at the moment but I am sure I will be back to fill you in...but I just thought it might help to at least let someone know how sad I felt and disappointed about a situation. I will get into the reasons in better detail when I have more energy to do so..but to sum it up I thought I was finally going to be free from something but apparently the universe does not seem to be allowing it..and I am once again so deeply sad and disappointed! Like I said, i dont have the energy to discuss it all right now ..although I did mention it in other threads on here in the past but I am just too worn out now to get into it all now..I just needed to let someone know how bad I feel tonight! Thanks for listening!
  4. chumly

    feel awful tonight

    hi everyone!! thanks for all the great advice and relating too!:) BeyondWeary, I love your suggestion about doing stuff with my hands! That is a very interesting one since it would keep them busy and away from using them to eat with..I really like that one! I do feel quite a bit better today..I also tried a new approach that I am thinking might be a good one for me. After I posted on here last night I took a long walk around my neighborhood and I think it really helped. It helped clear my mind and it is obviously better then eating anyway. I also did that today when I woke up too..and it once again had a good affect on me! I also realize now that when I weighed myself last night it must have been water weight because when I woke up today I was 5 lbs lighter...so that was a relief!! I am still way too heavy for what I want to be but either way that 5 lbs less made me feel better! and today I have been successful with my diet and I plan to exercise shortly too which always makes me feel better. I am still thinking of looking into Weight Watchers since I have heard good things about it. Has anybody on here had any experience with weight watchers? I heard they are good at dealing with emotional eating issues. ..so that might be just what I need. Anyway, thanks again for all the great advise and support. I really appreciate it and I will keep this thread posted.
  5. chumly

    feel awful tonight

    i just got on the scale and i am now the heaviest i have ever been. I am 170 lbs and i am only 5'5. I broke down and cried. how did this happen? i was 150 lbs in March when I met a man from a dating site. he has been wanting to get together with me since but I keep putting him off since I keep putting on the weight and i am embarrassed for him to see me now. This is the story of my life. I am an emotional eater so I have always had issues with eating when i am emotional but it has been worse then ever now..the slightest thing makes me over-eat now. it is almost out of control now. This man just wants to be my friend but i feel so awful about myself that i feel like i dont want to be seen until i get my weight down but i never get it down and now it is actually up and i feel awful. how can i stop this cycle of over-eating, putting on weight, feeling sad, hyberating and then starting it all again? should i join weight watchers? what should i do? tks
  6. psychatric drugs are used to try and eliminate or at least decrease depression. I dont think these drugs are made so that you can have more courage to commit suicide, if I am understanding your question correctly. There are many drugs that will decrease depression such as prozac, paxil and many others. There are new ones coming out all the time too. The ones I mentioned are older ones ..but of course just because one drug works for someone that does not mean it will work for you. ..it would be best for you to consult a psychiatrist to find a drug that will work for you. ..but none of them will make you have more courage to commit suicide ..they dont work that way...they will help you with your depressions though..and many work in conjunction with the help of a counselor too. I really hope that if you dont care to share what is going on with you on here that you will call the suicide hotline at least.
  7. well, thankyou so much for this!! I really appreciate it! okay...maybe i will just give it a bit more time now anyway. Maybe i need to wait until I am strong enough to deal with another possible "non reaction'' without taking it too personally like I did this time.:) or maybe sometime in the future I can just casually invite him to meet with me and my friend..so i can just make the plan with my friend , maybe invite another friend too and just give him a casual invite with no expectations of a response at that time. ..maybe just a casual approach is the best way to do things with him for now and when I am ready too.:) Thanks so much again, Floor2017!! I cant say enough how I appreciate all the help from you and everyone on this forum!:)
  8. I am so sorry to hear about this. I hope you will trust us to share what is happening or at least call the hotline number that littlestarsmum posted. There is no need to go through this alone...but whatever it is, things can always change! Even the darkest scenario can turn around. There are changes everyday in life..advancements in medicine, cures for diseases, new friends to meet, new opportunities for a better situation. ..so whatever it is that is troubling you just know that a miracle can happen and things can get so much better tomorrow. Just hang in there and dont give up and it might help to post what is going on to people who care and will listen. People on here care!
  9. I would like to point out that I have never met this man in real life. Him and i met through a dating site. He started talking to me on the dating site with the thought of a romantic interest in me at first but then he met the woman that would eventually become his girlfriend (and then eventually break up with him) but he wanted to remain friends with me despite his having met this woman....so like I said, I never met him so far....but like I said, I feel like I would very much still like to ..and I still want to do the plan that him and I discussed prior to his break up. Thanks again for any thoughts on this.
  10. hi there...thanks so much once again for all the great advice here regarding this situation with my FB friend...other then that invite to FB messenger, He still has not responded to my messages I sent to him about getting together with him and my offer to listen to him. ..but however, everytime I feel sad or rejected by his lack of response I remember the great advise given to me on here by MarkintheDark and Twister...and like MarkintheDark said, maybe the FB messenger invite was the best he could do for me considering the pain he is going through..so like I said, this all has helped so much. Thanks so much!:) ..so my next question is, when would it be okay for me to try and message him again about getting together? or should I not even bother since he never really technically responded to my last message? Like I said, him and I never met but I still feel like I would very much like to meet him and have him meet a female friend of mine as well. It was a plan that him and I discussed before his break up and he seemed very interested in meeting with us. I would still very much like to do this with him but I am not sure what to do now? Should I not bother since he never responded anyway? or should i mention it again? and if so, when? should I wait a certain length of time first? and also, if I do offer it again, how do I prepare myself for another possible "non response" from him? I am not really eager to get another "non response" from him again ...maybe I should be picking up the hint he has already given me from his first "non response" ...that he is not really interested in getting together with me or my friend at this time? Or of course i could always just go to one of the events he has been inviting me (and probably everyone else on his FB too) and I can bring my friend but I dont know if it would be considered stalking if I did that? I mean, i would attend because i am interested in just about every event he posts ..he has interesting tastes and seems to be involved with things that interest me anyway...but I would also be going to meet him too so there would be a strong motivation behind my attending other then the event itself...so even though he still sends me these invites, I am not sure if that would be a good idea for me to attend at this point? so, I am not sure how to approach this now?? any further thoughts would be so appreciated.:)
  11. By the way, just wanted to correct something.... when I was suggesting to my friend about meeting with myself and my female friend..this was not a new suggestion at all. It was something that him and I discussed a few times. In fact, I never even met this man myself...we just chatted a few times and had a nice phone conversation and then he made me his FB friend. We originally started talking from a dating site and he was interested in me romantically at first but when he met the woman that became his girlfriend he wanted to remain friends with me. ..we still planned to meet but the plan was that him and I were going to meet for the first time with this other female friend of mine (that I never met before either but chatted with online) ..it was a fun plan that we all had discussed doing a few times. .with the hopes of us all becoming real life friends. He already had a girlfriend at that point so it was just with the hopes of friendship for the 3 of us but I also know he found her attractive based on the pics he seen of her...and what he heard of her. ..so I thought the idea of continuing with our plan for us all to meet would cheer him up...but apparently it did not seem to have the positive effect on him that I had hoped. ..but I thought it was worth a try at least on my part.
  12. thanks so much for your perspective too. I found Markinthedarks posts very helpful and yours too! I am trying not to view his lack of response to me as rejection. Like you both pointed out he is obviously going through alot right now. I guess for someone to post about it all over FB like he has and mention that he cried for 3 days must mean he was destroyed by the breakup. ..so I guess he is not in his right mental capacities right now. ..and like Markinthedark said, the invite to messenger was probably the best he can do for me for now. Thanks so much for all the perspective on this. I guess I should be grateful that it has been so long, if not ever, that I was in that much pain myself thank God! I hope I never have to experience anything like that myself. Thanks again:)
  13. hi and thanks!! that is really great advice! I did not think of it that way! that really helped and gave me lots to think about here too.:) thanks again:)
  14. I am a female and I have a new male FB friend that seems to be going through difficult times with a break up. He invited me and I think a bunch of people to a poetry reading he was having ...I thanked him for the invite, I invited him to hang out with another beautiful single female friend that I know and then I invited him to call me anytime he would like to talk about his breakup since he was posting about it all over FB. The only response I received was an invite to join FB messenger..not so much as a thankyou from him for any of my offers to him. Am I over-reacting or was that very rude of him to not at least thank me? It was only two days ago but I just found that strange that he could not offer a quick thankyou. I am thinking maybe he does not want to be friend with me like I thought now and I am feeling very rejected. I always get good advise on here so I am hoping by posting on here it will help. Thanks in advance for any help with this.