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chumly

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About chumly

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  1. Thanks so muchπŸ˜ŠπŸ‘! This is also great advice! You are right to make me think what I would want someone to say or do for me. I will give that lots of thought πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘. Yes, I suppose that does make sense. Perhaps I can suggest meeting halfway, as you said. It certainly could not hurt to try your approach at least and it might even turn into a whole new activity we can all do together, as you said.πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘ Anyway, thanks again for the terrific advice!! I really appreciate it.πŸ‘πŸ˜Š
  2. Thanks so much! I really appreciate this helpful advice πŸ‘πŸ˜Š!
  3. I thought I’d get some opinions from others on here that might be familiar with clinical depression... The other day when I was texting with my sister she seemed to be in a very depressed state. She was saying how she hates all people and does not have an interest in doing anything. I did not get a good feeling at all about her mental condition. She is on anti depression meds again after being off of them for several months but she indicated that they were not helping. I suggested that she might need an increase in meds or perhaps different meds altogether. She told me that she just learns to deal with the depression and it just β€œ is what it is”. I believe that there are some definite situations in her life that is adding to her depression ...such as an unhappy marriage and both of us being raised by a narcissistic mom. ..but other than that she has been so blessed with beautiful looks and she is naturally a genius...so I really believe that her depression is mainly clinical. She lives about 4 hours from me so it’s not really possible to just pop over and visit her but I have repeatedly invited her to stay with me as a vacation but she always says she will but never actually does. Anyway, I don’t believe she would ever attempt suicide since she has 2 young kids that she adores and inspite of it all I think she is a good mom. The kids seem well adjusted and happy so I’m taking that as a good sign that she is doing a good job as a mom...so I don’t think she’d end her life because she would not want to devastate her kids like that but I was very disturbed by the conversation with her. I kind of believe her kids are the only thing keeping her around as sad as it is to say. After advising that she look into increasing her meds or changing them I just told her to let me know if there is anything I can do to help. She seemed to appreciate it but I have been unsure if I should be saying or doing more? So with all that said, should I be doing or saying something else to my depressed sister? I’m thinking of messaging her within the next few days to see how she is and to offer her to come for a visit again or maybe suggesting that I will visit her within the next few months but is there anything else I can or should do other than that? Thanks in advance πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘.
  4. Hi there! Thanks so much. It just so happens that he sent me a message tonight to see how I’ve been doing. I promised myself that I’d definitely send him another message if he messaged me so between that and what your saying here I’m thinking that I should probably send him something to let him know that I’m okay. πŸ‘πŸ˜Š Thanks so much for the very helpful response! I really appreciate itπŸ‘.
  5. Due to several stressful things going on in my life I decided about a week ago to take a mental health break (where I refrain from some personal emails and phone calls). I informed a friend of mine about this because he had sent me several emails. I told him that I’d get to all of his emails after my break. He seemed totally fine and understanding about it. In my message to him I never indicated when my break would be over. Anyway, it has now been over a week and I’ve decided to extend my break for another week. My friend has known me to take mental health breaks before but I don’t normally take them for this long. However, he is a big part of who I need the break from. So with all that said, the question I have is..... do you think I should send my friend a courtesy message to make sure he knows that I have not forgotten about him and that I still plan to get to his messages? Or would it be okay to just leave it alone since he is already aware of the break I’m on? I just hate the idea of being rude to him or worrying him by taking this long to get to his messages BUT as I said, my connection with him is part of what I need a break from so in a lot of ways I’d prefer not to contact him at all until I’m completely finished with my break. Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance πŸ‘πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ˜Š
  6. I am with Tid on this as well. I like the idea of leaving one more open message but it might be best to back off after that. I know it is easier said than done at times but sometimes making new friends can help get your mind off of others. I hope this helps.😊
  7. Yes, the anonymity is what I like about this kind of thing as well. 😁 I have never found a good therapist myself. I think the online stuff is just better for my personality in a lot of ways.πŸ˜€
  8. Sounds like myself. I tend to do that too.πŸ‘
  9. Yes, do you feel similar to myself in that the advice you receive on here is better than the advice you get in real life? πŸ‘ I have received the most insightful advice on here on an array of topics. That is something I don’t get in my real world though. I am really grateful for this site and was just wondering if others can relate πŸ‘
  10. Am I the only one that tends to use this site as a virtual group therapy session ? I really get a lot of great advice from this site and in fact, most of it is much better than the advice I have gotten in real life ( either from friends or professionals). Obviously there are some very insightful people on here but I also think that the advice I get from online is generally better suited for me because I seem to be able to communicate better this way. I guess I am more honest and better at putting together my thoughts this way. Also, I think I am less restrictive with my feelings due to the anonymity. Can anybody relate to any of this? Does anybody else discuss such in-depth things just as I do on here? Also, if this is not the correct place for this sort of thing does anybody know of any sites that would be? Thanks in advance πŸ‘πŸ˜€
  11. I am sorry for what you are going through. I have had to end both friendships and even end family connections. I know it is not easy but if you are being mistreated sometimes it may be for the best. Good luck
  12. Thanks also for the YouTube recommendations. :) After doing a bit or research it would seem that my mom is probably not a total narcisist but she definitely seems to have some of the qualities and I do believe she was abusive to me on an emotional level!! I am so sorry for what you are going through! You seem to be such a nice and giving person. I have a feeling things will change for you because you sound like you have a really great head on your shoulders! I really like your suggestion of finding things that give even just a little escape! For me it could be a favorite TV show or a favorite snack. I like your looking for apartments idea too and that is something I need to do anyway.:) I also love your quote..."have hope, not expectations". Thanks so much once again!:)
  13. Wow!!! You are so great!! Such great advice here again! Thankyou so much for your insight on this as well! It really helps to have others relate to me and offer me advice and not act like there is something wrong with me for not wanting to deal with my mom again at this point! :) I really appreciate the advice and thanks so much again for the support! :)
  14. I will have to check out the YouTube sites myself. The funny thing is that my mom messaged me today to try and make peace. That is the thing she always does instead of apologizing. ...as the true narcissist that she is.πŸ˜’ I was initially not going to message her back but I decided that I could maybe make peace while keeping my distance and protecting myself. It actually did make me feel a bit better too...she initially snapped at me for not being warmer in my response to her. She reminded me that she is going for her operation. ..typical manipulative crap without a care for the fact the she threw me and my friend to the streets during a pandemic. I was going to initially snap back too but I decided to be the better person once again. She then responded back saying that she loves me and that I always have a home wherever she is. I thanked her and signed off with β€œ love β€œ too...although I am not sure how honest I was being with the β€œ love” part as it is difficult to love someone that makes a habit of abusing me. ..but I still used it anyway. I did apologize for the name calling I did to her since I did feel guilty about that but that is all she will get from me at this point, unless she gets help...and she is lucky to even get that much...but I think I did it more for my benefit than hers. I do feel quite a bit better now!πŸ˜€πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜€πŸ‘..and maybe that is the important thing in the end.πŸ‘πŸ˜„πŸ‘πŸ˜„πŸ˜‰ Thanks so much for the great advice! You are so insightful so I think you are really gaining a lot of wisdom from your situation. Do you have any YouTube videos you can recommend?πŸ‘πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ˜Š Thanks so much again for helping another human being at a very low point!!!πŸ‘πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ˜Š
  15. wow! That is such great advice and such interesting insight too! What you said about those who push the β€œ deal with it cause it’s family β€œ probably don’t deal with abuse themselves! I did not realize that about China! Sooooo interesting! πŸ‘ Yes, maybe the old worn out beliefs that have caused people to deal with so much mistreatment within families need to be re-evaluated. Thanks again for such terrific insight! And also thanks for the good wishes on the apartment search! People like you really make this site one of the best place on the Internet. You should be a therapist if you are not one already!πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜€πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜€πŸ‘Thanks again!πŸ‘πŸ˜„πŸ‘πŸ˜„πŸ‘πŸ˜„πŸ‘πŸ˜„πŸ‘πŸ˜„ I agree totally with your beliefs on an β€œ apology β€œ
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