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About emjay187

  • Birthday 08/15/1991

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  • Gender
  • Location
    New Zealand
  • Interests
    Reading, research on mental illnesses, study to become inpatient youth nurse, music, movies, Sims, sleeping, my kitten, tattoos Psycological Thriller movies, looking up quotes.
    And yeah, thats about it =D

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  1. Happy Birthday - hope you are doing well :)

  2. Thanks everyone - RollerPigeonMom: Yeah the waiting has been really frustrating, i havent really been coping-been in and out of psych wards for four years- but they put it all down to BPD not thinking something else could be going on until i was arrested and elated then came crashing down. The genetic thing is something that scares me, my mum doesnt have BD but what if i pass it to my kids ya know. Thanks for your response :) - fondu3:Thanks for sharing your story, i can identify in the way that i dont "cycle" as often as others. "Write a lot in a journal, this doesn't have to make sense just write how you feel and I usually throw it away when done. Surround yourself with a support structure, friends and family, therapist, this website, to get healthy support and a place to vent. " This is awesome advice! I have been calling on my friends and support workers etc, the past 2weeks or so have been pretty rough so yeah. God knows i need to vent quite often! Otherwise i take it all out on the wrong poeple in the wrong ways =) - Sheepwoman: ive got an appointment on friday with my pdoc and i'll post in here what comes of that appointment. I know im going to struggle with being patient. Over the years ive been on lots of meds to help with the depression/bpd thing and i would sometimes quit cos i got so impatient. I'll try to practice a bit of patience over the next few weeks/months. Ive just started therapy, ive had three sessions so far. Its pretty scary but i think it'll help eventually. Thank you all of you, its really helped knowing that im not alone and people can lead normal lives. The fear has subsusded a bit--I really appreciate it.
  3. I am positive that having pets in the house is therapeutic. I have three cats in my house, Salem-6yrs, Henry-5years, skitzo-18months. Whenever im upset i go and find my cat (skitz) and have lots of cuddles
  4. Hi everyone. Currently im diagnosed as BPD, Depression, and GAD and i SI. I was talking to my mental health nurse about a spree i went on. I spent all my money, lost track of time and was just buzzing, i was arrested for theft cos i impulsively stole something and i only needed 2-3hrs sleep, i felt like i had slept 12 hours! Anyway, this lasted four days or so then i crashed back to depression. Ive had this three or four times over a period of time (every 6months or so) and my nurse reckons i may have a mood disorder, bipolar II more specifically . Im scared, i dont know what it all means, what meds i might have to take and what side effects they have etc and what my chances are of getting stable. :yinyang: Basically i just need to know that it'll be okay . Maybe some of you could tell me about your first experiences of bipolar/being diagnosed and how you came to accept it? Im just feeling really afraid/alone/confused and worried.
  5. Hi Cass There is nothing wrong with you! I agree with some people above me. I think its a "take care of me" thing. I think this because i used to do this, sometimes still do, and theres nothing wrong about wanting someone to love and care for us. I also feel safer/more comfortable in a psych unit. The one thing thats helped me to start to overcome these things was to talk to my psychologist/psychiatrist, which the people above me have suggested. Its helped me so far. I also think the only way to tell them, if you decide to, is to just say it how youve done it in your message. You know the words its just making the vocal chords say them lol. I hope this is helpful for you. Feel free to message any time if you would like some support from me. Take care *hugs*
  6. Hi everyone. I hope you can help me, quite confused and sleep deprived at the moment. ***POTENTIAL TRIGGER*** I know that with BPD mood swings are an often occurrence. I get that day to day, nothing too major. quite Sad for half an hour or so then ok etc. But, Overall things had being going so well for about three/four months. Suddenly out of nowhere i have just nose-dived, one day two weeks or so ago i just bombed. I cant think of anything that would cause this, no significant event or anything. This is the first time i haven't wanted to go to work since getting my new job, i don't wanna read, i have no motivation for anything, my SI has become worse rapidly, i get about 3.5 hours of sleep a night and im never hungry. The world seems so bleak and everything is so hard. I feel either nothing at all, like dead, or just overwhelmed with sadness. Even thoughts of suicide have come back. I google suicide like the depth of a certain vein or how to do a hangmans knot (i haven't made a plan or anything like that). Fcuk! ya know?. Is this normal for BPD, i want to know if this is common for BPD sufferers of am i looking at something different?
  7. When you think its your fault that your farther abandoned you when you were six (He actually died) When youre too scared to bring up issues in a friendship then end up blowing up and make frantic efforts to take back what you said,trying to make it up to them as much as possible because they might leave you. When you get really excited when see a new top in a shop, you cant afford it but buy it anyway even if its too small, then immediately regret it when you get home and get depressed about it. when you think that everyone is going to leave you eventually When you smash in light switches because the switch wouldnt go down after three tries When at night, youre laying in your bed coming up with a fantasy to get to sleep that is ALWAYS about suicide or self-harm.
  8. I havent seen him since i moved from youth services to adult mid last year. I think i have to right diagnosis BPD/depression, it seems to fit me well. Yeah i have always tried them for a long time to give them time to work but that hasnt eventuated yet. My new psychologist (who i have been waiting to see for four months) rang this morning and i have an appointment tomorrow =D Finally. Im going to try and learn DBT. When my Mental Health Nurse gets back from holiday i will talk to her about treatment options, i dont really like my pdoc so i will run it past her first. My step dad had ECT and it helped him. Thank you for replying, youve given me some food for thought. Hopefully i can find something, kinda starting to lose hope. But maybe the DBT will help.
  9. Hi there, Ive been on several medications throughout my teenage/adult life, since i was thirteen (7 years) Im losing hope, the medications dont work anymore. What am i supposed to do when it just doesnt work?? I have tried: Venlafaxine/Prozac/citalopram/paroxitine/ and serequol. Im currently on paroxitine again, i was on it about three years ago. But its not helping. None of them have. What am i going to do?! Are there any options left when meds dont work or am i doomed? Please help.
  10. I feel not good enough. Sad. Angry and like no one wants me.
  11. How's 2011 been for you so far?

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